YouSaid · the spoken record

Richard Schwartz

lines on the record: 79
first: 2021-01-14
most recent: 2021-01-14
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Which I can understand does get in your way. But we're going to ask the one who's angry at it and the one who wants it to go away, both of those parts, we're going to ask to give us a little space to get to know it just for a few minutes and actually maybe try to help it in a different way rather than try and Make it go away. So just see if those parts would be willing to relax in there. You could open your mind to it a little bit.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“All right, so let's start there. So, as you notice it there in your throat, tell me how you feel toward that part of you. That's so anxious.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, so the way we start is have you focus on that anxiety and find it in your body around your body? And as you notice it there, where do you find it, by the way?”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Absolutely. Happy to help you with that. And that trust in the world is safe is tough to get through willpower. So we'll try. We'll try it this other way. So, are you ready?”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, if there is a part of you you'd like to get to know better or change your relationship with or if there's something still getting in your way from you mention that there was a very angry part of you that came up and had all these retrospects seem like minor quibbles, but we could go there. It's really up to you, whatever you want to explore.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly. So that confirmed to me that I had just stumbled onto a process that people naturally know how to do when they access enough self. And they'll do it on their own. And that's true too. It's become a kind of life practice where people do this on a daily basis often.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Let me comment on that for a second. You mentioned Michael and Annie Mitthofer. And in phase one, when Michael was using MDMA with these mostly combat vets, but PTSD clients, and he started talking excitedly about this because they're both well-trained IFS therapists, I started to feel more and more validated because for some reason, the MDMA seems to get all your protectors to relax. And so you just by virtue of having taken the medicine you're in self with those C words that I described earlier. And he found, and he kept track of this, he tracked that phase one group. And he found that over 70% spontaneously started doing IFS without any coaching from him because in the protocol they set it up where they couldn't lead the client. It was all kind of following.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When my client is in that place before I have them work with their parts, and when they work with their parts from that place, they just naturally know how to heal.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And when I asked what part of you was that, clients would say some version of that's not a part like these others, that's myself. So I came to call that the self with a capital S. And it turns out, and this is really totally amazing, but given all the 40 years we've been doing this and the thousands of people doing it around the world, I can safely say that that self capital S is in everybody, can't be damaged, and knows how to heal. and can be accessed simply by getting these parts to open space because it seems it's just beneath the surface of them so when I'm working with somebody I will wait until I hear some of those C words in addition to the four I mentioned there's also courage clarity creativity and connectedness so I'm waiting to hear”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Process of getting parts to open more space inside and not be chattering all the time, slowed it down. It was like another person would pop out who took the lead and was just immediately curious about these parts or even had a lot of compassion suddenly out of the blue and also had was calm and was confident. And the parts would relate well to this person.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Other kinds of firefighter activities include a lot of addictions, and for me it sounds like for you too, work is one of mine. Firefighter activities, eating was one of mine. It's not anymore. So those are some of the common firefighters. So most all of us walk around with some version of that system. The more trauma you experienced, the more exiles you have, then the more extreme your parts often are. In addition to all of that, though, and this is actually the big discovery in IFS, as I was doing this work and as a family therapist, try to have dialogues inside among these different parts like I would in a family. Often I'd have to get one part to kind of separate or move back or step out for a second so I could have two others talk to each other because the other was interfering. And as I started doing that”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That doesn't work and the world breaks through those quote unquote defenses and triggers our exiles, it's a big emergency. And so there's another set of parts who's on call almost who immediately goes into action to take us out to get us higher than the flames of emotion or to douse them with some substance or to distract us until they burn themselves out. So those we call firefighters because they're fighting the fire of this exiled emotion inside of you. And we all have some of those, and most of us have a kind of hierarchy of them. If the first one doesn't work, we go to the next one. If that doesn't work, the next one and the top of the hierarchy is often suicide. It's a big kind of comfort to many people to know if things get bad enough, there's always that safety net. I can exit strategy.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Family where the parents abdicate, the kids have to become the parents. They were called parental children. This happens inside of us too. These younger parts have to kind of run our lives. And they get extreme because they're in over their heads. Often they become these critics. They're yelling at us just to try and get us to behave. They don't know what else to do than to yell at us. And so those are some of the common Manager roles, others are these massive caretaking parts that don't let us take care of ourselves, only let care of everybody else. There's just a lot of common manager roles.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So when you have a lot of exiles, then the world becomes a lot more dangerous and you feel a lot more delicate. So other parts have to jump into other protective roles, some of which are designed to control the world so your exiles don't get triggered. Because if they get triggered, then it's like flames of emotion threaten to consume you. And these protectors often think you're going to die if you stay with that. So there are parts that will keep you a certain distance from people. There are parts that will control your appearance so you don't get rejected. Parts that try to make your performance perfect. So you get a lot of accolades to counter the worthlessness. So all of that we call protect, those are manager protectors because they're managing a lot. They're trying to, they're like what in family therapy we used to call parentified dinner children.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Culture or your family didn't accept certain parts of you, and so you had to move away from them. And we do it, not realizing. We think we're just moving away from dreadful memories or sensations or emotions, but we are locking up these parts of us that are so wonderful and have so many talents when they're not locked up and when they're not stuck in the past.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“who were vulnerable and sensitive and often were the parts of us that are the most hurt by the traumas. They take it the most personally and they get the most frightened and feel the most worthless often. And once those young, formerly happy-go-lucky, delightful, creative inner parts of us, once they get hurt that way, they have the power to overwhelm us and give us all the burdened emotions that they carry. So not knowing we're locking up our most juicy parts, we tend to try and get away from them and put them in inner basements or abysses or caves. So I call them the exiles. And we've all done that one degree or another, even if you haven't had a lot of trauma. There are ways our”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If I gave a brief conceptual overview, then what we do with each other would make more sense to people. Let me do that So, as I was exploring this with clients back in the day, I'm a systems person, I'm looking for distinctions and patterns. And the big distinction that leaped out immediately as I was doing it with more and more clients was between parts that were very young in the culture has been called these wonderful inner children.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You said it really well, and it's been a tough sell in my field, but that is what I found back with that client and subsequently with thousands of clients, not just myself, but all the people using this around the world, are finding that these things we thought were symptoms are maladaptive in the sense that in our current context they may not be needed, but they were definitely needed. They were like heroes, like I was saying back when we were being hurt and they get stuck back there. So again, I'm a family therapist, so I'm trying to understand the context of all kinds of both external people's behavior and internal. And the internal parts behavior made total sense back when you were being heard. And they think they still need to do it because they think you're still in the same kind of”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Necessary to keep us safe and problems, but they also, if they are listened to and actually loved ultimately by our clients and ourselves will transform. So anyway, I got rolling on this.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Protect the family or because of the dynamics of the family that aren't who they are and don't serve them but they think are necessary. And in exploring that, turns out that's true. First of all, we all have these things on calling parts that they called parts that, from my point of view, aren't the product of trauma, which has been the way it's been viewed, you know, multiple personality disorders. The unitary brain got shattered by the trauma. For me, it's the natural state of the mind to be multiple, to have these parts. And they're all valuable. We wouldn't be born with anything that wasn't valuable. And they come into our life from birth with us. And then trauma and attachment injuries and things like that forced them out of their naturally valuable states into roles that they don't like but they think are absolutely”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It sounded like it was still living back in that time, like it still thought she was five years old, and it still had to protect her in this way, and that it carried these extreme beliefs and emotions that we call burdens about the world, about her, about how dangerous everything was that drove it, these extreme beliefs and emotions were like a virus, it seemed, like the coronavirus that drove the way it operated. And so as I got all that, I started to think maybe these parts aren't what they seem. Maybe they are like kids in a family, a dysfunctional family, where they're forced out of their naturally valuable states to be enrolls.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that was a turning point because I shifted out of that controlling, coercive place to just being curious. And I said, so why do you do this to her? And I had her ask that. And the part said, sort of told the story of how when she was being sexually abused, it had to get her out of her body and contain the rage that would get her more abuse. And I shifted again. Now I don't see it as just, you know, I had appreciation for it, but it was like a hero in her life. It really saved her during those abuse scenes. And as I listened to it more,”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I began to try and work with that cutting part in the way I had with these others. And so I would get her to have a dialogue with it in which she would try to tell it. It couldn't do this to her anymore. That was done. No more of this. And I was sort of saying that to the part two. And after a couple hours of badgering it that way, it finally in her head agreed to not cut her that week. And then I opened the door of the next session and she has a big gash down the side of her face. And I just collapsed emotionally inside when I saw that. And I spontaneously said, I give up. I can't beat you at this. And she said, the part said, I don't really want to beat you.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I began to explore trying to change some of this, but I was assuming that these parts were what they seem to be, which is what the field sort of still assumes, that the critic is just a critical parental voice, that they internalized, and the binge is an out-of-control impulse. And so from that frame of understanding it, you're limited, what you can have your clients do. So I was getting my clients to stand up to the critic and don't take it and control the binge and they were getting worse, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't have, I was like the man in a hole with a shovel. You just dig deeper. So until this client, who, in addition to being eating disordered, also cut herself on her wrists, and I knew had a bit of a sex abuse history. I didn't know the extent of it.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so after I got over my fear about it, I got curious and I started to try and get my clients to relate differently. So they would say something like something bad happens in my life and this critic attacks me inside, calls me all kinds of brutal names. And that brings up another part of me that feels totally worthless and alone and empty and desperate. And that feeling is so dreadful that to the rescue comes the binge to take me away from all that, that that brings back the critics. So I'm hearing about these interactions among different seeming to be entities inside of them. And as a family therapist, that was intriguing because that's what I studied, these interactions among family members.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Kept binging and purging. They didn't realize they'd been cured. And so out of frustration, I began asking why, and they started talking this language of parts, which was sort of bizarre to me. I thought maybe they were sicker than I thought because they were talking about these, what they called parts of them that could take over and make them do things they didn't want to do and had a lot of autonomy inside. And we're talking about them as if they were sort of full range personalities.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Was in the early 1980s, and I was a fresh graduate of a PhD program in Maryland Family Therapy, and I was trying to prove that family therapy was the thing, was found the Holy Grail. And so I did an outcome study with a bunch of bulimit clients, which was a syndrome that was new on the scene at the time And she was one of them. And as I was trying to do this family therapy with all these clients and succeeded in actually reorganizing the families the way the book said to.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yah Oh, I'm so glad you can be proud of it because I agree. I think it really served us to have some of your stature be that open about it. Live to see the light of day, like he said.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you, Tom. I'm honored by those words and also just so excited to be with you. I've been a fan and particularly a fan of the session you did several ago where you were so disclosive about your own history. Just thought that was amazingly courageous and a service to everybody.”
2021-01-14 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #492: Richard Schwartz — IFS, Psychedelic Experiences Without Drugs, and Finding Inner Peace for Our Many Parts · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT