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Trinny Woodall

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2023-09-11
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2023-09-11
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  1. Because I know women, because I've made over five thousand women in my life because I know what women miss, I know the frustration they feel at the beauty counter. I know that some of them don't want to admit they don't have to do a smoky eye. I know that some woman feels stuck, but they don't know how to articulate how do I do it again because I don't want to seem silly in front of my friends. I know that some women feel just. They could never do that.

    2023-09-11 · The Diary of a CEO · Trinny Woodall: How She Went From Drug Addict To Building A $300m Business Empire! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. I don't care if everyone's telling me no, I know, and I know enough, and I believe in myself enough to know I know it's a good idea. I just know it. I just got to find somebody who has the vision to understand it.

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  3. Because I knew it was a fucking good idea and I knew it would work. I just had to find the right people who would get it.

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  4. I love that one. You live in this Neverland. It's not like it's never going to happen, but it's never going to happen. But you don't put words to either. You sit like this place. And I had that feeling. I thought, are people ever going to get it? But I thought I'm never going to give up. So they both sat side by side, really struggling

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  5. Oh I had lots. I had, you don't have enough followers. Fine, I had like I think 50,000 followers then. I had your two-old start of business. I had who's going to really run the business classic.

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  6. Because I did ready to before, and for that I was, you know, I did 18 odd days for two and a half years. It's like it's in me that I've been a grafter for quite a long time.

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  7. I started a business at sixteen called What's My First Business Bose Unlimited when I was at school. I sold hair bows. And then I started business at 53. So it's like there's no other way to put it that age is a number. It is just a fucking number, and you can either mention that number endlessly, or you can look at What energy do you have at that moment in time to execute on your dream? That's all you need. You need, you need a lot, but you know, you need to feel that you need energy, passion, drive, relentlessness, perseverance, resilience. Pick yourself up and just get fucking on with it. You need all of those things. But you need the energy so that you jump out of bed in the morning and you are on it.

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  8. There's a wonderful one called Julia Samuel and she wrote This too shall pass, and another book called Grief Works I don't know if you've ever had her on your podcast. She's an incredible grief counsellor. I saw her, straight away she came to my house, when When I knew, and I hadn't yet told The first thing is you need to find the words of what to say. She was a friend of my sister's, she gave me words. It's like you just feel so. I'm at a good place with it now, and I think that final thing was at the moment I had by myself when Lila went off and And I just, I thought I came very... totally you know this is eight years later

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  9. Lots of things which you could hold on, you can hold on to lots of things. But you kind of have to let go when I see people who have family who have died and they want to hold on to things. Or get this thing, you know, and it's like. All those things you might hold on to will prevent you to go through the process of grieving. it will hold you in this place in time and you will just be sitting with that. And you won't be able to work through. And when somebody dies, you need to work through these stages. and acknowledge these stages, but not get stuck in something which eats you up. So even though there were all these things That kind of could have eaten me up. I sort of knew and I had a very good

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  10. And he had from it post-traumatic stress disorder. which wasn't diagnosed until about 20 years later. But one of the things was it's hypervigilant around his children. So he was always so worried for their welfare. So you kind of have this thing of where do you get to in your brain? When you are so worried about your children. that you can convince yourself that the best thing for your children who you love profoundly is That you're not in their life anymore. is something that is so important that we can help people who get to that situation that they don't get to that final part of that situation. understanding what to recognise, its understanding And it's very hard to recognise, you know, I didn't recognise. And there were lots of Details of it could have really upset me, you know, of things that

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  11. And the more I have learnt about suicide, the more that you know that when people talk about wanting to kill themselves. Nothing happens less frequently that people who don't, but once somebody makes a decision that that's what they're going to do they don't talk about it. and you'd like to feel you'd pick up on it. But I think it's the harshest lesson to learn, but when you then come across people where you feel that you now pick up on those Not saying things that there's a lot of internalizing going on and should you be reaching out and just talking getting them to talk because People get themselves to a stage where they feel it's the only solution. And what's staggering is Johnny had hypervigilance around his children, because he had been in the Israeli army, and he was paramedic, and he had a really, it was really tough.

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  12. I think anyone dying. who dies unexpectedly, whether from illness or anything it's Somebody is gone. You know, that's the biggest fundamental of anything. The circumstances Drive how differently people deal with death, so you know some. Members of his family wanted to believe there was a conspiracy theory you suddenly have A hundred and one kind of Views on things and stuff that really confuses and complicates the fact that somebody has gone. You know, they've gone. Nothing is going to bring them back. They have gone. But it leaves more questions and then you look at Your part in something, you know, and that's Every person who has had somebody commit suicide, at some stage will say was anything I could unstop it you know that's the first thing for sure If you love somebody

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  13. In that part of that strong enough to feel that feeling and move forward and we have to be in the right situation and give ourselves that right breathing space to be able to feel the fullness of that feeling without judgment or guilt or remorse, you know, because all the other ones are so connected to situations externally and it's very difficult to get to a situation where you're not bringing all the external factors in and you're just feeling how you feel about somebody.

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  14. No, I think it's just you need. I know he died there was a mass, I then, starting the business I was living in a house I couldn't afford to live in, I had to sell it for lots of reasons one of them. Know for that reason There was so much I was so many sort of fires I was dealing with. And then I was trying to start the business. To guide Lila to be So there was a lot of years of that, and then another life change of just deciding I want to live on my own, then brought up in a way that to be able to just feel some things that I hadn't really let myself feel, and I think sometimes in life we know we're not.

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  15. Just yeah, just a mess. And so It preoccupies you to not then actually just think about what you miss in somebody. You know, it just you focus on what you've got to do, you go on to autopilot, you think of the kind of things you've got to deal with. Probably I moved in March, and that was the first time I remember. Lila went away, and it was the first time in thirty five years I'd been on my own in house. And I grieved for Johnny. all these years later.

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  16. exchange is you become a single parent. The thing you think will never happen happens. So it's a wake up call just for Life and how you see life. It took me a long time to grieve because he left a mess when he died, which I had to kind of deal with a little.

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  17. Here I separate from Susanna, and I started working on I'd started working on Triny London. Yeah, but I was still filming abroad, I was still doing telechoes abroad, but I was also working on the business.

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  18. Yeah, but they were well at that time. Yeah, they were well at that time. They had periods deafening through Aurelit through our marriage where they were well, really well.

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  19. I think when you're in a relationship with somebody who has a form of diction. There's an unpredictability and an inconsistency. how they turn up every day. And I think in any Times when it's not great You end up. an extent having the crumbs off the table it's like you're so holding on to those moments when everything's good that you try and ignore what isn't working

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  20. Gone from doing a series of ITVA year and writing a book a year to doing three or four shows I took on average about 55 flights a year. I left London on a Sunday night. I came back on a Friday. I had a seven-year-old daughter. And I had a partner who wasn't always well. So it was just at a stage where I thought I need to readjust how my personal life is and I need to think what can I do now because this doesn't work.

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  21. So, when I did TV and writing, I really loved that. I think what was very nice is we developed these women who found us a breath fresher. I love the fact that People would say You know, I read your book and it's changed how I think about myself or you know and at the time when we look back at what not to wear it's a very divisive show at the time it made a lot of women and women that I meet now who watch the show at the time tell me the impact it had on them to think about themselves differently. But I enjoyed it, I enjoyed travelling around England and making over women and having that journey and over you know over a week you saw the metamorphosis of a person you work with and you saw them at the beginning and at the end and then we kept in touch with many of the women and then you would hear about their marriages and their babies and their life changing and you knew there was a tiny contribution you had made to that switch in them

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  22. We all do crazy things though. But I. I feel that I have a daughter who's nineteen. And I wouldn't talk about crazy things I did.

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  23. I think we have Everyone has a different story. Externally of I did this and I did this, and there's a bit of I did even more than you, you know. There's this whole thing that addicts maximize their using and alcoholics minimize their drinking. All right. And that's why alcoholics and take longer to get into sobriety, and an addicts can take shorter because also drugs can kill you quicker. So there's that kind of, you know, and I think also. I don't know, it's different. Maybe I don't talk so much about the crazy things I did. Because I think we all do crazy things

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  24. Help you navigate why you did things in your life, but in this one they did this stuff where they would get twenty people to critique how bad your life had been in a room. And judge you for it. And it was, I mean, just like looking back on it now at the time, that was the only way recovery worked in rehabs in the UK. But it was just, it was kind of fucking appalling. And she reminded me last night. So when you bring up the thing of that porno film, and I think it was that sense of let me just do something that people will find funny because we're having such a shitty time here. And it backfired, and it was just, you know, I was tucked out.

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  25. Yeah, but at different times. And she just said, you know. He was the most fundamentally shaming place ever. We have now very different, but it was a very, very shaming place It would be closed down now. It wasn't, it didn't have a good way of dealing with things. So in that whole scenario There was definitely that, feeling that you're thrown in with people you don't know, and you reveal your life. And it was a time when You would write down your life story and then in rehabs nowadays, because I visit friends in them or whatever, you would kind of

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  26. That was a funny one, but not funny in the end. It was a terrible rehab. I was with somebody. Last night in New York. We were going to this funeral as this friend of mine who was like 43 years sober. And I discovered I'd been to the same place with her.

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  27. Got to love it. You know, I was like in my early 20s, I was one woman, sixty-four men on a trading floor. And I hated it and I dressed in men's clothing and I went to Rosetti and got the men's shoes and I got the tailor to make me a suit. All the men would drop their trousers on the trading floor. But I'd go in the ladies drum and get, you know, I'd pretend to have a deep voice. I was on the phone selling Anglo-American funds. So my client thought I was a man. I mean, you know, I did all this stuff. I hasted it so much, Stephen. And I would go, I would take the tube to Tower Hill at the World Trade Center in London. I'd have Financial Times on the outside and the Daily Mail on the inside. That was my full extent of who I was. And, you know, I left it.

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  28. Leave it, but have a plan. But leave it. Like, if you hate what you do, we spent 16 hours a day between commuting or if you're in a higher position thinking about the company. Working, we spend much more of a day working than sleeping. So you've got to love it

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  29. I would say if somebody is listening to this and they're thinking, do I have little bits, just ask yourself what You know, do you love what you do, the job you're in if we're talking about work? Do you love what you do? Do you like this environment of where you work? Do you feel people make a better contribution than you? Is that what's making you feel insecure? If so, What do you feel when people have meetings that you don't know? Go and fucking learn it, go and learn it, go and listen to podcasts, go and read some books. Just learn it because knowledge is powerful. And when you have knowledge and you walk in a room, you automatically think I have so much more to contribute.

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  30. That at some stage you can't keep doing it, and you something has to give. and something always has to give and it's whether you it's which path you're going to take you know

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  31. Feeling You know, I hate to say the word because I hate, I hate labels. Imposter syndrome is the worst link. Can I just say it's the worst label? It's worst label ever because what it denotes is that you are an imposter for how it's used for now. So to me, imposter syndrome is more that you haven't yet learnt enough. And if you learn something, you won't feel so much of an imposter. This is What imposter syndrome is what I'm referring to. It's that feeling where You are so different on the inside from what you project on the outside that you are an imposter inside your own body. And that to me is what I think imposter syndrome is.

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  32. Not feeling it, but sort of acting it. You know that. I mean, my God, we know that one Baker CV acted, you know, be kind of big up the job that was actually smaller than it was, all of that shit

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  33. You wouldn't have seen anything that I was feeling inside. That's what I was very good at. outwardly you would kind of think you know I worked in the city I was trading commodities I held down a job you know you would see this person who seemed to be running around doing a lot of stuff you would see that So mine wasn't. jacking up in the streets not being able to function on a daily basis. But it was one where Appearances were so important compared to, you know, so that matching your inside to your outside is probably my biggest journey, you know, of how can I, what I feel inside is how I share with you now. And, you know, I am 59, and that's where I've got to. I have a lot more to do. But it took me a journey to get to a place where I feel very comfortable in that feeling and in that belief.

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  34. And then I went to a halfway house in Western Supermare for her. Seven months where you kind of live off eight to ten pounds a week, which pays for your fags, and I worked in old people's home. I came back to London, a very different person, and then in that following year. Another one had died, and then by the end of two years they'd all died. So I think I always had This feeling Whatever I might do, you know, I might do many things again, but I will not take drugs again. And you do that in recovery, you do it a day at a time. And since that day, I have never taken a drug again. That's probably that biggest shift I had at that age to really think now I have the second chance. What do I actually want to do with my life? You know what not what I feel other people expect me to do?

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  35. Late night, you know that thing we're gonna do this, we're gonna conquer the world, and we're gonna go to rehab. So then the next morning, I woke up and I still had that feeling, which is rare. So I called a therapist that I knew and I said, I need to go, but I have a window of opportunity which is so small. I need to go literally in the next two hours because I am scared of myself that I'll change my mind. So he got me in somewhere and stay there for five months and I sold what I had to pay for it some very tragic thing happens in that time and one of the people died and then the other

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  36. It's not so there's something about an ignorance of recovery, you know, there's a kind of sense that you don't know there's another way, so you don't feel guilty every time you do. And so what it brings is it brings guilt every single time. I had three really, really good friends And we're all using one night, and I said. Let's all make a pack. We'll go to rehab tomorrow, and two of them had been, and one of them had never been. But we made this pact.

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  37. No, I was kicked out of the first rehab, but I then went to meetings. And this one thing about recovery is that When you first get in recovery, You need to let go of your old friends who you've been with who are using, and you're about to make new friends. So that moment is... Loneliness can take you back to old habit after about I don't know maybe six months I missed my old friends, and I hadn't made enough new ones, and I saw them, and then, you know, I Relaps and then I went back to meetings, and then you're in this horrible little in between place. When you know about recovery and you continue to use.

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  38. I think I I was about twenty two and I felt my life didn't have direction and my family were very frustrated with me. They felt I'd changed, and like any family where they have a child who has addiction, they can if they don't know, they just see change and they think why is my child changing? You know, so I think they saw that and it was a relief to say, you know, I use drugs. And I remember my dad said, now you've told me you can stop. And I remember my brother saying, I think it might be harder than that. So I went to rehab I then left the rehab after a period of time and

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  39. That was a huge beginning of the change in my life. I was so relieved that my 20th waiver, so relieved, because it, you know, it was like that was the beginning of that, wash that away. And that was a big moment for me to begin to Work out who I was. That was the first moment, probably.

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  40. Things happen in your life that begin to fine-tune and define who you're going to be. And I went definitely through phases. You know, I went through phases in my late teens, early 20s of turning to drugs just to not being happy with who I was, not feeling who I was. Sometimes people turn to drugs because they just don't know who they are and they want to. They have an inner lack of confidence, and I definitely had an inner lack of confidence and outwardly. When I talk to people and I look back at the time, they might say You just were this very mesmerizing person and I just remember that internal sense of feeling. So lost, so profoundly lost, and So when I got clean at twenty six twenty seven.

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  41. Where do you get to in your brain when you are so worried about your children that you can convince yourself that the best thing is that you're not in their life anymore?

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  42. Ages just a number that you need energy, passion, perseverance. I sold my house hardly earning any money, but I thought I'm never going to give up. Ask yourself, how much do you want to be successful? What are you prepared to give up?

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