YouSaid · the spoken record

Alex Scott

lines on the record: 116
first: 2022-09-29
most recent: 2022-09-29
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Hopefully. Think there's a power in there, isn't there? I think this is what I hope when I keep saying about, I hope the book sets her free. Because I know there's so many people that have gone through the same stuff as my mum. And I think maybe If she understands that and sees that and That they're free, or they've come through things, that maybe she can start to be on that journey. There's a huge fear, the answer to the question, but ultimately I look forward and when I look forward, I see there's a light. And I feel that's where I smile because I'm just hoping and I pray that that's where she's getting. That's where she gets to.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how hard that's going to be for her because you're going to bring up the rawness, the stuff that she tried to push to the side. But ultimately. I know it can free her.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Wanted to be happy, wanted to smile bore, taking moments and just not think something's going to happen. For her to have some happiness”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you No, it does actually make me smile. Going back to one of your questions about, I don't know, being proud or... Like even seeing you just have that book, that's my book. I wrote my own book. Like, I didn't even go to school. Like, education, it was a struggle. Yeah, dyslexic, the speech, like, they're all there. All the problems in my life. But I actually just sat down on my lap took laptop and wrote that book. And like, you just like you got it there. I don't know. It still doesn't feel real, but I'm just like, yeah, I did that.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because I hope the Shows her I am me because of her. That she's an incredible woman and everything that she's done has allowed me to be in the position that I am. and for her to understand that she doesn't have to be the strong one anymore. I'll do everything to look after her. just to enjoy our life. Like she still has this life you don't need to be trapped by the past anymore. She's still trapped by it. Yes, like me taking them out for dinner or a theater show to try and give her that happiness. Like I can only do so much. I'm hoping that letter sets her free. Don't give me. I don't require anymore”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, and I think that's where I always There's something like he must feel the guilt and the sadness. You know, and that's why I've always like, there's that good person in there. Something's gone on that's made him feel like this or I don't know if it's me just making up a story in my head. I feel like I always saw that from a kid. Like everyone has good in them, you know Still trying to pluck up the courage. It's come around soon. I've got to do it I will do it. I will do it.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, that's gone back and forth in my mind. Like, I don't need to, right? Not been there in my life. I would say you sit in there having this conversation with me, you know me better than my Didn't know anything about me. Can't describe me as a person, doesn't really know what's gone on in my life, doesn't know. So yeah, I don't owe him that I don't know, something in me. Elementates the right thing to do for him is Madame al-Mim.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“After the publication, no before it would be very wrong if it's just out there and I hadn't spoken to him. I've not wrote the book. I didn't write it to destroy his life or make him seem like this person and I truly hope he's not that person anymore. Like people change. So, I don't want him to be judged on that in the past. Like, I want people to take it for who he is now. I want him to understand that I've not wrote it from a place of being angry with him or that ultimately it's not about him. It's about wanting my mum to break free of it all. I was just thinking.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is on one hand. I have done this book to free my mum. On the other hand, I'm scared that it could ruin my dad's life. I don't want So I need to pluck up some courage. Yeah, I need to tell him. I've wrote about stuff that's not going to be comfortable for him.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I think it must have touched him in a way because I'd never done that. Like, if I was mad or felt angry about anything, would never tell my dad because I always still had that fear. And so he must have known. And then straight away he texts back, apologizing that, oh no, it's just that he's his way to try and connect with me, to ask for tickets. And they were really for him. And I was just, oh, this is just bullshit. I'm not speaking to him But I'm going to have to And I want to speak to him.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Not for him, though his friends where he lives. And you know what I'd seen the Elton John film and I remember crying in the movie theatre because there was a part in that that I was like geez that's how I feel there was a part Elton John he was just trying to connect with his dad the whole time and then there was one point where the dad reached out to him and was like come round for dinner or something and when he turned up it was literally just for him to sign autographs So there was no love or he didn't really want him to be it was just to sign autograph for the kids he had around the house and that's how I felt in that moment It wasn't. You didn't care about me or ask how I was. Your But I remember I had the courage to finally write back to him that's wrong”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then I was doing strictly in 2019, and I got to Blackpool. Strictly was like this bubble of happiness that at a stage I'm like, I just needed it. And it gave me that strictly did. And then I remember I got to Blackpool and I was on the train on the way up next to Michelle Vassage, who's this character I'd never thought I'd have someone in my life like her. And here I am opposite ends. She's from New York, but we just had this connection. She was my person on strictly. She saw my phone flash, and she's like, What the heck? What's that? She must have seen something in my face. And it was a message from my dad asking for tickets to come to Blackpool. I hadn't heard from him the 10 weeks I was on the show. And he asked for tickets.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“twenty nin And it wasn't a conversation, it was a text message. Last time I'd actually spoken to him was my nan's funeral in 2017. I remember standing on the balcony and whop him. Had some drink, but him telling me that he knows. Not been the person that he should have been, and he's carried a lot of regrets, and he's going to change. I was already so distraught because my nam was one of the closest people in my life. I remember just feeling like I don't care. If you do, then great. I'd spend my whole life sending him Christmas presents, birthday presents, ringing him just to check in because I had this guilt that he would be lonely or. And then from that moment, I was like, no, I'm done. I didn't hear from him, so I'm not going to chase him. Like, once again, it was just this. It's just all talk. Like I'm over it.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It touched me, yeah, because of all the stuff you see online, those two people on that park bench, I understood what I'm doing.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do you know what I suppose? Like in terms of there's parts that I find it hard because, like I said before, I also understand my responsibility more with it. Where before it was just I was just finding a job. I'm just sitting on a sofa having a conversation like, oh, this is great. Actually, what I didn't understand me sitting on a BBC One show so far, a flagship program for BBC is actually doing for a lot of people. Didn't understand that until maybe there was one time that I'm riding back through East London. It's actually during the pandemic, I'd rode from North London to East London to see my mum. And riding home, there was two black women on a park bench. And they were shouting at me, Stephen. And I was like, well, what's going on here? What's going on? And I was like,”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Suppose it's when you're getting phone calls every day about that or straight away that that's constantly every day. Thing that you read online It's that”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Back to another thing that's heavy. Been heavy Continues to be every time a subject's bought up because maybe I've been that first to then break through. It's like I am that spokesperson or, you know, we'll go to Alex. She needs to speak about this. So it's just always there. Always. And it's like as if it's become my, it's me, it's my story. And I'm like, no, there's a whole lot to me, you know, going on in my life. I'm not just being trolled. But that's how now people would either just see me. All the abuse, or yeah, it's.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I've worked so hard They see just sometimes the end process of it, or they don't see the actual whole process what's actually taking you to get to that. which I'm fine with, but the fact that Like, yeah, you're not respected for the work that you're doing or been done. That's hard for me.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That I'm taking a box. So I think that perception now for a lot of people, like that's always going to stay with me, no matter how hard I work or have worked to get to where I am, that's kind of a perception.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yet like dreams of for me, like owning a house in the area that I am now, because I know I love that area. So it isn't dreams of like when I went Black, I know I've done all right. Because that's how I view them like top class Seem like if we're talking football terms when you're playing for England, you're the best right back, you know, like I want to be in a category where I see those presenters that you know they are top class. So I suppose I keep working towards trying to be seen at that level. Which I think for me is hard because I don't know. Honestly, if I'd be viewed like that. Because I already have. Perception around me. I've just been given a role.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh, I'm scared of that. Yeah, like a fear of losing that contract. But I also have a fear of standing still. Like just being okay, like being not just average, like I always want to be better than I was yesterday.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Be, I would say, be more present in the moment. Like it's weird because I don't ever look like five years or ten years people in terms of like my next job or anything people are like, well, what show do you want to be presenting in five years? I think I've always been, I'm quite spiritual, but I've never, like I might have these small goals, but I'm also open to that actually I might go right a bit and it might I might learn some lessons here to push me in that or open to that you might have an idea of that's my presenting goal or I need to be on that show actually because I'm on this path it might take me a totally different way and I'm okay with that same like the football decision you know do I sign a two-year contract in my arsenal career or actually do I listen to how I'm feeling and it's taking me on a totally different path”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I would say is finally accepting love. Think I've always been scared Like I said, I've been on a journey, not been in relationships for a while for that reason. I knew that I had to do a lot of work on myself. I've had people come into my life that want to show me love, that want to give it, but I've always had those walls up, no, where I think finally now I'm at a stage where I'm ready to let that in. Think that's something that's been missing for my life.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. Yeah. Still learning to be more happy, to be honest. I've always been kind of happy go lucky person. Like, I feed of positivity, want to hear the good things. You know, if you've got energy to sap around you, it drains me. I'm that sort of person. So I kind of navigate to the people that see life in a certain way and want to have certain conversations. And I'm starting to. Yeah, look at that and be more happy, be how celebrate something. Not big milestones, maybe just little things. You know, it doesn't always have to be the big things that take in those moments. Yeah.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, not because of my work or that stuff. Goes back to your question that you know what I've done okay from the kid on that councillor estate that only had the concrete football cage like Managed to do something when a lot of people, kids from those areas. Have an expectation that you're not supposed to amount to much. So, in my eyes, I've been a success for those reasons.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. I find it hard. A lot of people do, right? To hear the good stuff. Like, yeah, like I've done all right, like from one career made it into this career. But I suppose I'm scared to always just sit there because it can be taken away. It can end. I'm always thinking, I need to be better. My next show, I need to study my lines. I can't mess up. I need to be better. So there's always that of I'm letting someone down. So I don't think I've ever sat. Taking it all in, what have I done? Have great, like, I've managed to flavor England. And now what I sit on TV and have a conversation. I suppose I don't take it in. People now come up to me in the street, I understand more, I would say. I didn't understand before, but now I'm starting to understand.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I suppose. It was always just a feeling of fear and worry. So even though things might be going okay in your football career or you finally earned some money to pay for something, there's always just you're living in a worry all the time. So it's able, instead of just rushing onto the next or thinking what next, be more present in that moment. You've got to be okay Just take it in. I think there's a lot I've not taken in.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You're going to be all right You're going to be okay At the same time I almost wouldn't change any of it Because I feel like I've been. So much that has taught me so much. And I'm so grateful for the lessons. So ultimately, I tell her that she's going to be okay, but you're going to go through some stuff It's got to make you even stronger, but in a different way.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You just kind of, why not, I just hate awkwardness or like now I found myself that I can pay my bills and I've, you know, earned some more that I can take care of people also. So I'm trying to take care of you where actually. Not earning that money when we're talking about men's football or women's football, even in TV now, but I'm earning a salary. So actually, what am I doing? I'm trying to pay for everyone. Like I'm not made of money. It's just that feeling that I can, like I can treat you like it's good.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sometimes that awkward feeling don't like it. Actually, no, just being like, okay, yeah, thank you. I appreciate that you're going to buy me dinner tonight. You know, it's okay learning that.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Two and a half, three years ago. Made me start seeing that some of it isn't my responsibility, the guilt that I'm carrying my whole life, the heaviness. Making me see it in all a different way, making me see myself and learn about myself in a different way, why I've done things the way that I have to understand the patterns, to understand my patterns when I need help. That it's okay to ask for help. Not weak. It's not a weakness. Even we talk about the heavy stuff, but even it's the nice stuff, wanting someone to say, no, I'm going to pay for this instead of me. Like always, I'm the first to try and pay for everyone because I just want everyone to be happy, you know, like I've treated you to a meal, like it's all good.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“How he spoke to me. It was no bullshit, his character. Know, I almost felt strange is that I've had this relationship, strange relationship with men my whole life, but then I actually tend to gravitate back to that kind of form. Like, and here it was this big man telling me and making me see myself in a way, pushing me to see myself in a way that maybe I'd been scared to do before. And not allowing me to just be like, Yeah, no, I don't want to talk about that. No, yeah, that's okay. Just seeing me and knowing it's not okay”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's so uncomfortable. So uncomfortable. And then went home, the same thing. It's like this not going to work. Am I going to stay in this dark place, get out some wine, let's drink, let's numb it all. That experience didn't happen. But then actually then something in my brain was like, no. And then something clicked I'd heard about this place sporting chance. Actually, I need to reach out to them, see if these people can help me, and then straight away within a day, someone had come back to me saying, we found this guy, go and see him. And the moment, Stephen, I walked into the room with him, I knew he was the guy. Was the person”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I laugh because people when people had spoken to Verapov had conversations about it in the past, like straight away I would screw up my face and be like, well, no one can tell me about myself. I know myself, like what they're going to do. They don't know about my life. Like, that would be the attitude for me for therapy until that day where I googled it. One, I didn't even know what to look for. All this long list came up of all these different therapies. I'm like, what do I need? I just need to talk to somebody. And yeah, then ended up Googling someplace that was close to where I live, went there and it was everything that I thought of her who would be like that feeling of someone sitting there and just saying yes and no to me and I was like no this is not going to work for me like I'm that person I need someone to be brutally honest with me like just saying yes or no is not gonna it's not what I need to hear”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Say stalkers now, but in terms of the death threats and everything, and then I suppose that's when I don't tell my mum, don't tell anyone. So actually then I'm dealing with all of this on my own.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, of course. The fear of what might happen to me to that extent, like because the abuse then would turn into death rats also to the fact is that I am going home alone Know what happens there. Like we've seen in the past of, you know, some presenters what's happened, stalking, all of that stuff. So all of that anxiety goes from my head like I want to just be safe, like I'm just going to work.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I would say it's part of the job for them, but I would say to the extent that what I've gone through with it is maybe they haven't experienced that level. And I think I remember Jake Humphrey saying as well, like he hasn't, or he couldn't believe the stuff that was coming my way. And you wouldn't until you're going through it or actually see it, like, and I suppose I hid it for so long. Like I tried to hide it for so long because I was scared of being seen as being weak, not strong enough to deal with it all.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's not that I want to, I love nothing more than seeing people have a good time That in those moments I often forget that I need to have a good time. I'm trying to make everyone have a good time. Do you need to drink? I'm going to go get you a drink. Let's go have food. Let's do this. I'm planning your biggest thing. I've never planned anything to celebrate my own stuff because that's what I love seeing in other people. So it's not a fear of like I want you to keep staying out or keep giving me a drink. It's just I'm loving seeing you have a great time. And that makes me so happy.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I suppose this is like my lever trait, those scouts, that I love this end, I love connection, I love people, the energy that it gives me. And then I also love the other side of it. I need to be alone sometimes. Not speak, not have the conversation, just literally be in my own thoughts.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I know what those moments have given me in my life, but maybe because I was clouded by a lot of stuff going on, I was scared to be in those moments, where actually I think about the best moments that I feel now are my most quiet moments. So I have this special place in Portugal and I always escape to it. Because why I love nothing more than getting up in the morning and going on a hike in nature. And I feel I come alive. Like the thoughts that enter my brain about life or what I want to do or where I want to go. Like it fills me with so much energy. So I love those moments. I love going away. I go away a lot on my own. And people can't get their head around it. Are you going to vote on vacation on your own? I'm like, yeah, because I need it. I know what it gives me.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But you know what? Maybe for me, I suppose I didn't learn that part because actually what you see on screen is actually me. Like I didn't learn how to either be this presenter or be a different form of myself. So I've always given, just it's just me.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do you know why? Because, like, the football gauge, the actual work On screen was an escape. Gave me like an hour and a half whether I'm doing super Sunday. That was an escape. You forget about everything. Straight away, when I'm going home, once again, then I'm on my own. That's when it all spirals out of control. Like I can't take it. Functional depressive, like at work, I'm totally fine. On the walls, I'm doing the work, enjoying it, loving it. And then straight away, then I can't take it. Hence, why most probably I threw myself into more work, think of myself time off, work, work, work because I'm loving doing it. Keep it coming, keep it coming, isn't it?”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, that's so easy when people say, I don't read it, forget about it, like, but when constantly every day, and yes, my job to sit in front of a camera, but the abuse of, you know, your skin color, what you're saying, just everything, the pure hatred And I'm like, what have I done Was some of what have I done? Should I just Ultimately Was talking about something that I love, you know, I was just someone that worked super hard to then try and go and get a degree to get into this world, to get another job, you know, to be able to pay my bills and look after myself. And here I am getting nothing but pure hate and abuse every single day. I got to stead. I'm like, can't do this anymore. Why? Like who, why should I let them win? You know, so I'm fighting this battle constantly every day with myself.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Understand, yeah, that for so all my life. Had locked up all this feelings that I didn't know. Like how you said, they eventually find its way out. I've had all these, I've had all this trauma. Everyone has trauma, whether big, small, everyone goes through trauma. And I suppose I'd put up all this protective walls around me. And now they were just flooded out like I needed help.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Stop crying Could not stop crying, drinking, then the drinking wasn't switching off what was going on in my head. Just numb. I was literally on my bed, curled up, just uncontrollably crying, and I don't know why. I don't know why I was crying the way I was. And why should I be crying? Because from the outside, I'm okay. I've had amazing football career. I'm now working on TV. I can still pay my bills. Like, why should I be sad from the outside world? Who am I to be sad? I've got everything going for me, right? Understand it”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To switch off from it all, switch off from just life, switch off from not talking to someone. Want to speak because then I'd have to speak about emotions, and the heaviness continues, right? If I don't speak about it, it's great. It's going to go away, but actually it doesn't. Just gets bigger and bigger. I think it was go back to how youth that about Christmas in New Year, it was that. I was on my own because it was my choice, wanted to escape everything, the feelings And then just being so sad So sad And I was like, I can't continue like this. That choice in that moment the next day to Google therapy.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Where I just couldn't take it anymore. Like I'd been numbing everything. Just carrying on. I can't show I'm weak. If I show I'm not strong, if I show my weakness, then the only thing I can't handle it, oh no, issues that a female can't handle it is too much for her. So all of this I've just been bottling and just carrying on, putting on this face. Like everything's okay. That night was when it all got too much. I didn't want to come home. I was drinking to switch off, to sleep, to numb it all, to forget about it. And I just got to a stage where I'd had a dad filled with drink. An uncle passed away was alcoholic. It's like drink problem and alcohol has been huge in my life. And here I was repeating those same patterns. Drinking every night to switch off from the world.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Expectation I was putting on myself was not to let anyone down. Like I'd been given a chance. Like I can't let my BBC boss down. Like I've got this person that's finally believing in me. He's giving me an opportunity to go to a men's World Cup. Like this is big. So I was working so much doing so much. Not to let anyone down. And then ultimately, on top of that, as you're becoming the first, as I'm the first female, all the negative stuff that come with that. The trolling or the online abuse, all of that. I just got to a stage”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do I remember that yesterday? I keep going back to the word heavy, I think, because that's straight away, I feel it. I didn't know well, no, I did, that I was carrying a lot. I'd carried a lot through my football career, which I didn't really know I was just doing at all, trying to solve everything. Straight away, I took that into my broadcasting career. And like all these great things that, yes, I'm the first, this, I'm the first, that. I never set out to be that. I was just following something I love that I had a passion for. And so all the stuff, and I suppose the pressure that came with that, I didn't know. I wasn't putting it on myself, but the expectation for me.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Way because I was doing random stuff for BBC appearing on a women's football show or something. And it's when I announced my retirement, that's when it just went, okay. It's like I was free. And then people like, well, she's free to do more. She's got more hours in her day. Like she can actually start doing some work. And then from BBC, yeah, they started offering me more. I was appearing on some of their flagship shows, football focus or kind of those ones. And yeah, I suppose 2018 for me was that year went because then I went off to the World Cup 2018, the first female pundit for the BBC. And I suppose from there, then it continued.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT