YouSaid · the spoken record

Alex Scott

lines on the record: 116
first: 2022-09-29
most recent: 2022-09-29
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Because I suppose I've always had the fear, or a lot of people, well, if it doesn't work out, actually, I suppose I've always been the opposite. What if it does work out? I don't want to be held back in fear of, no, just in case. So it's more like I knew the headspace that I was in, I couldn't sign that two-year contract. It'd be unfair. It'd be unfair to myself. It'd be unfair to my teammates because I'd just be turning up to collect, you know, my monthly salary at the end, which isn't a lot. Nothing like men or whatever, but It was enough to be secure and pay my mortgage monthly, but I know I couldn't do it. It was unfair.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was ready. I felt ready. I had a two year contract on the table from Arsenal to sign. That's the comfort zone, the comfort blanket that I could have easily taken that. I'm still trying to pay my mortgage. I suppose most of my life is that the fear of not having money to pay my bills and the debt man knocking on the door like I grew up seeing him come around every Thursday, you know, that fear. I was like, no, I can't sign that contract. I know how unhappy I will be.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I like seeing people relax and be fun. So I just started doing more of it. And then I was like, right, scared about the next chapter after football. I was like, what am I going to do? People are trying to push me into management. And I was like, it's not me. I don't have a passion to be a manager. Not at this stage. I've not seen myself in that role. And I was like, no, I need to do something that I love, that I get a passion and the energy from. And so that's why I did a media degree. I was like, right, if I'm going to do this, I know that I'm going to be judged. You know, and I don't like the feeling of anything just being given to you. So I'm like, no, I'm going to work for it. Just like I had to do my football career. I'll work for it. I'll do a media degree. So went and did that whilst I was still playing for Arsenal. And yeah, decided that in 2018.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I didn't know. No I think I was always frustrated from being away with England or even in Boston that I'd see a teammate full of personality, life and soul, just this bubbliness about him, get asked a question or being interviewed straight after a game and go in themselves. And I'll be confused. I'll be like, what are you doing? That's not you. Like I didn't understand. So I remember just randomly asking one of the camera guys like, oh, let me interview after. Let me just ask some questions. And then straight away doing that and then seeing a teammate relax. And then everyone's saying to me, Alex, you know you're natural. And I'm like, what's it natural? I'm just asking some questions like I don't get it. So you don't, same thing when people be like, oh, you sit in front of a camera and talk. I don't think about the millions. Maybe that's why I'm not sat there in that frozen state in fear looking at cameras. Because for me, the conversation is what feeds me.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It was the first time I started having conversations about the world, about other people's lives. I'd sit under the stars. It sounds like some Hollywood movie, but every night for survival, we had like a stint that we had to keep the fire alight on bare grills. And I remember just sitting there keeping the fire, like looking up at the stars and be like, I'm ready for my next chapter. Like I know there's another chapter. It was just being brave enough to then take it.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Great leader, captain, great. Then I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I did a TV show Bear Grills, and that was the first time I knew I was ready to retire from football. I was surrounded by different people, different conversation about life other than being in a football bubble where everything you consumed by, you think everything's just sport going on in the world. But I know I've always needed more. Know that's what's always been the spark in me about life.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My last couple of seasons. What I didn't know, I remember doing a documentary about mental health. And the doctor Tanya Byron is her name. She described it to me so well. I didn't know. I was like a functional, depressive this whole time. And that started in those later years of my footballing career. But I didn't know, I didn't know how to describe it or what I was feeling. You know, I was just turning up. I wasn't happy. It was heavy, taking on everyone's emotions, management, players, trying to fix everything. And then I'd be home in the evening and be like, whoa, I don't want to talk to anyone. Like I physically couldn't talk to anyone. Which of those patterns, then I'd swish off from the world. If you try and phone me, call me, won't pick up. Mum, yeah, I'm okay. Don't want to have a conversation because everything was just then heavy. No one in football knows that because I could go to football, I'd put on a face. Like I'm Alex like, yeah, everything's going.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because his arms were earning more. I was learning more about the world and from other people. And actually then I knew towards the end of my football career. Was giving me those feelings that I didn't want the heaviness and actually of feeling this is not enough for me anymore, not a feeling of being trapped, trapped is the wrong word. But it was heavy towards the end of my career. I was taken on a lot emotions, responsibility. I was captain, but in terms of, I don't know, I've always been this person where people can offload all their emotions on me. So I do that. I'd take that home. I try and solve a lot of problems on and off the pitch. And I just, I wasn't happy anymore.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I just knew what football was given me in my life, something that, you know, I had dreams, but never dreamed that I'd be out of travel the world. Or, you know, I remember in the youth age groups getting on a minibus to go into Nottingham. You know, like, where is this place? Didn't even know this place existed in the UK, you know, and here I am on a minibus eating a sandwich for a packed lunch. I've been out the house all day. It's like great. I didn't want to let go of that playing for England. I got to go on an airplane. I got to go to China. What? Oh my gosh. I didn't even know how many hours on a plane that was. You know, all those things were just feeding. I knew it was more than football, but football was allowing me that platform to see things and learn things about the world that I know was making me even more hungry to keep it and to keep that. I needed to keep doing well at football.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Every training session, like I've been given an opportunity. How dare I turn up to training and not leave giving it my all or coming to training and being like, I don't fancy it today. Like I'm so lucky I've come from a cancelled estate on a concrete football pitch and now I get to walk in at Highbury or be at the Arsenal men's training ground. You know, it's like. Who am I? So I'd be like, nah, don't fancy it today I just loved what it was giving me in my life.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I know I wasn't the most talented I wasn't. There was people that were supposed to be at the top and make it. They were the next best thing in women's football. No one ever spoke about me like that in terms of growing up in the Arsenal team. I was Al that grew up in East London. You know, I loved Arsenal. That's how everyone viewed me. I just loved the club, you know, because for me it was a home. But no one ever spoke that I was going to make it. I suppose that's where I just wanted people to believe in me, you know. So it was like I will do everything to prove to you. You know, I've got something. Just look at me. I've got something. I love this place. So I think it was driven by that, really. And a feeling of not wanting to let people down, even though they didn't believe in me.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Goes back to the cage, first of all. For me, football was just always, and it was an escape and a happy place. And I was scared to always lose that. So yeah, you've no luck I went on, what, 140 caps for England? And then there'd be people like, yeah, you're the first name on a team sheet. You're a favourite. I played every game for England, kind of with that fear that it could be taken away. This could be my last game. Like, what if I don't get picked next week? What am I going to do? Like, it's all I've ever known in my life.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't think you'd ever solve anything. I'm learning. It's interesting. What did I hear the other day about we spend more time as people studying other people what you wear, what you study, how you act, how you bathe, than actually spending time studying ourselves. And so I would say over the last two and a half years or since going to therapy, I'm studying myself more. So those patterns, those learning how to communicate better or what I do. Which will then help me in a relationship. Moving forward, hopefully.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I'm not doing this any Then I won't even speak about that. That would be there. So I'll just sit there. Silence, why am I mad? What's going on in my head? Like, why am I feeling this? What's going on? Yeah, because I've changed and I'm doing everything just to try and keep being happy.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Say difficult, but then I would just always find a way of whistling obviously is not right, which I've now figured out about myself, I would change things. I would stop doing things. Try and make my partner happy. So I'm then changing myself. I'm not being my true authentic self. Because, yes, I'm avoiding the conflict and everything, but in doing so, I've stopped doing what I want to do or what I like, just to then always keep everything nice and happy.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that's everything that happened to me up until I went to therapy is I finally all needed to come out everything. to deal with the emotions, the childhood, the speech impediment, hiding it all.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I know that pattern of not speaking or when something's tough, I would run away from it. You have to just push it down, push the emotions down. The next day everything will be fine. I'll carry on like nothing ever happened. Which for my partner has always been the super hardest thing because they want to talk about it and get it out and all the feelings. But then I was always scared how those feelings, or if you got to that angry state, what would happen? Because I grew up seeing that in my dad. So then I just want everything to be great. Like, fine, everything's fine tomorrow. Everything will be great.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Guys, the thing is on TV, I suppose I don't think about the millions of people watching me or that for me it's just always I'm so interested in the person sitting opposite me because I'm learning Know the area of East London that I grew up in, I didn't think I'd be surrounded by people that view the world or have seen something in a certain way and I'm just sometimes I'm not speaking like hey you ask a question and you wanted me to speak. So, the same thing I can ask you something, and you're telling me this amazing story, and I'm just sitting there, even though I'm presenting, I'm just amazed, because I'm just like, wow, I'm learning something here. So ultimately, yes, I do it for a living, but now I'm just sitting there learning and only speaking sometimes, really, even though it's on TV. But like you said, in relationships, yeah.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, that the speech impediment So, not knowing how to communicate or speak properly in scared of what I'm trying to say doesn't come out right. So, from the speech impenetrable, it's just easier not to speak a lot in my circumstances. That's how the speech and penant for me works, which is crazy because like you said,”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because you go back to the environment that I grew up in, it was actually then easier for it not to because you don't speak until you're spoken to, just as easy not to speak. So, which actually then full circle, then my mum didn't detect it till later on because then I just wasn't speaking because we was in that environment where I wasn't really playful or speaking out anyway. So it was not until then and then having to recorrect it. But then I'm in an environment with someone who I'm sitting with and I can feel like the love or they're caring for me. So then I think it's just a game, right? That I can feel something from you that you're invested in me, which is totally different to that what I'm feeling of my dad. So then you go back to those patterns. I feel like that's the pattern then I then craved with everyone. I then just want my first coach to see something in me. I'll do everything for you. Just believe in me. Like I want to feel that from you. Relationships, the same thing. It's like I'm always seeking that from what I wanted from my dad, I suppose, in my childhood.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That it won't come out the way that's in my head, I know. Like my brain works so fast. Like, I'm always thinking 10 steps ahead of everybody else, but I can't get it out.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“How other people viewed me? I didn't feel like my voice was important or I wouldn't be able to get what across what was going on in my head. It's mad. You say I'm over. I'm not. Like it's just I can hide it a lot better or I know that okay, I have to reword things or I memorize scripts, for instance, or I'm practicing them. So when I get on camera, I know that word that's coming up I can't say I've practiced and practice it, but then I go to say and it still, it doesn't work because I just can't articulate where the words come from. I asked if there was, I can't even say the word, cinnamon or something, whatever the spices in it, there's certain things I just can't say. But it's almost I found a habit of just laughing at myself before everyone else laughs at me or then just not finding my voice, not speaking out because I'm scared.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Went into broadcasting. It was a lot. A lot of events had happened in my life that I didn't even know until I wrote down in a book, like a timeline and I'm like, shit. No wonder why I bloody ended up in therapy because I hadn't dealt with any of it. I just kept going. That's been a mentality and a trait. That's the pattern.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Shutting off from life Shutting off from dealing with emotions, pushing them down, not letting anyone in to help me when I need help. Not talking to anyone. Just I'm always okay. Just carry on. What's next? What happens next? Yep, I can do that. I can do that. Doing everything for everyone else around me. But actually, I just need someone to do something for me. Being like, okay, you're offering help, I'm going to say, okay. Instead of saying no to everything, because I can deal with everything. Which ultimately that's where people talk about me and the trolling and the trolls pushed me into therapy. No, they didn't. It was just that stage on top of every single other thing that I finally was like, I need to talk to someone. This is all too heavy for me to deal with. Like I'm in a dark place.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Carrying all of this not speaking about what went on. Hiding it every time I'm asked about my mum or my dad in interviews. I think if you look back at everything that I've done, as soon as this topic is brought up about my mum, I get emotional. Because straight away, someone doesn't know talking about my mum and me saying, oh, she's amazing straight away, I'm picturing everything that went on. Why I think she's amazing, but I can't tell you that. You just hear me get emotional, and then I change the subject. Like I said, I suppose through learning how to communicate better and understand my emotions. I just want to be free. Like, I want to be light, I want to move forward in my life, not having any of it anymore. Like I'm at a stage, in this point in my life where I'm ready to enjoy this stage, this next season, you know?”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. Been just a biased mum, but she loved it. But she found it super interesting because once again, I've gone through a lot of stuff that I've not spoken to her about that she didn't know about me because once again I've always been trying to protect her. So when I've gone through stuff, my first thing is I can't tell my mum because I don't want her to panic about me. She'd already been through enough so I can look after myself. So her reading stuff, she's actually learned a lot about me my emotions, how I deal with things that have come up. And often, like I said, that When she was going for all of that stuff with my dad, she didn't know what I was in the room doing, that I didn't sleep once because I'm listening just to make sure that I can hear her move in the morning.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think I'm Learned a lot about myself. I'm older. I'm wiser. Want the heaviness of it anymore. And I actually ultimately wrote it hoping that my mum, it frees my mum. Know it's part me, but hoping that this finally frees my mum and she can move forward from it all, that I'm okay, you know, Ronnie's done okay for himself. You don't have to protect us anymore. Like, let us look after you. You're an amazing woman.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like a fit, yeah. Well, is it face the fear, see the fear and face it and do it anyway? Of that mindset. Like, it might be scary, but I'm still going to do it. I'm still going to give it a try. But then I suppose everyone doesn't have that mindset today. Like, in order to move forward or see into the future, you can't, if you're still driving, looking in the rearview mirror, like not dealing with all the past stuff behind. And so for me, I think I've got to a stage why am I talking about this in a book or, you know, it's been hard for all this, I've hidden it. Never spoken about my upbringing or what's gone on in my life until this book until this moment.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't know if I've ever thought about it as a responsibility. I don't know. I think it's just something that's me that I've always, I'm a helper. I want to help people. I want them to be happy. I want to do everything I can for someone to bring joy to them. I don't know. Maybe it's because the upbringing I didn't have much of that or something. I don't know. So I don't know. I've not seen it as a responsibility, but I just, I want her. Have a life that maybe she's missed, you know, and bring her that light back.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is so interesting you say that because I find myself removing myself from those situations that I feel uncomfortable with. Same thing Christmas. I want to escape because for me it reminds me of sadness. It's not comparing to other people's families and the happiness and everything. For me, it reminds me of sadness. Then I'd rather remove myself, travel away, be away in my own thoughts, then sit through it and see my mum's sadness, something that I can't change in her. Like, as if I'm still failing to make her happy in those moments. And that's hard for me. So it's never comparing to other families. It's just the... I feel helpless in trying to help my mum.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Never jealous, no. I feel I'm lucky I've had everything for my mum, I've had the love, the care her doing everything she can. You know, so I've never looked at other families. And I feel lucky I've been invited into families that have shown me love or taken me away and had that. But ultimately, for me, my mum is absolutely everything. She's done everything she can. I won't be here, this person right now if it wasn't for everything that my mum has done for me in my life.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's what I almost think in terms of domestic violence and what goes on. I think we deal with a lot of stuff till when the person has left the environment, right? But then a lot of the work needs to start afterwards also. Like those conversations actually dealing with those emotions, what next instead of like, oh, they've gone. Get on with life. Actually, you can't because it's still all there. It's inside.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, it's bringing up all the stuff that's still so raw. She's never dealt with. You just got on with life. It's what you do, right? Let's put a plaster over it. You get on with stuff, the mentality, get your head down and get through things. Actually, you're not dealing with it, are you? It's still there. It's still raw.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You don't know how to communicate. We don't know how to talk. When all of your life from all those age, that age gap where my dad was in the house, we didn't learn anything. I've gone away from that and taught and educated myself differently. But my mum and my brother have still been in that. I felt a bit guilty actually because I remember going to therapy, learning all of this, learning my behaviors, learning then to deal with my emotions and talk. And they're like, great, go and do this with my mum, my brother. You know, we start, I opened the conversation. But then actually it took my mum back to a place that hurts her. And I did that. Because why? Oh, because I was ready.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Close in a different way, knowing he hear stories of brothers and sisters and that love we have for each other is so strong. In a different way is protecting from afar. We'll do anything for each other and be there, but it's not a pick up the phone. How are you, sis? What's happened? What's going on in your life? But no matter what, you'll just always be there for each other.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now we can't. We've not had a conversation about anything. As a family, we can't sit down. We don't know how to. There's not been a conversation About anything”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'd say even to this day he doesn't know himself or what to do, his purpose carrying guilt. Know we talk about strength and stuff. I know it's very different for men, him feeling that he should have been that protector, maybe, you know. When he looks at his baby sister, I've managed to make a career or do something. He looks at his life and what has he done?”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that's why I'm so lucky, Stephen. I had football. I had that out. I had something to focus on. Know so I'd escape into a different environment that gave me structure I think for my mum and my brother, it was a lot harder Know you're still processing my brother. And I suppose this is where it hurts my mum because she puts a lot of blame on herself. We went from a controlled environment, which very much I was still in a controlled but a disciplined environment with football was very different. And so my brother totally went the opposite way. Someone that had been controlled in that environment. Then had a freedom, but he didn't know what to do with that freedom. My mum didn't know what to do with it. So I think it was harder. It's been a lot harder for my brother.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Gone, not just lazy with everything, everything furniture, everything. Not that we even had a lot to take, but I was still just, you know, you make do, you get by, but yeah, he took everything. Mum let him take everything Because then he didn't have a hold over her anymore.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But it was just trying to process as a seven year old that my dad might feel lonely. What happens to my dad? But no, I need to protect my mum. I need to be strong for my mum. I need to look after her.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Laisay like I see the like the smile or how he is and how can I feel just sad like even to this day when I'm thinking about him I'm just like you know Suppose he's just sad Want anyone to feel sadness, you know. And so I remember in that moment it's always my mum. I was always going to pick my mum. But it's the thought that my dad would be lonely as well. Why do I have to choose?”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I just remember getting the shout to come down the hallway. Me and my brother marching down and then waiting for an order or something. And then him saying that we had to choose, that he was leaving and we have to choose there. And then right then, whether we live with mum or live with dad. Of me just looking at my brother, like what? And he's making us choose right then. And I knew something had gone on because mum's got it back to us, so obviously something had happened on her face because she couldn't look at us.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. And then, yeah, as soon as she passed away, a sudden heart attack, my mum found her strength to say, no, that's enough's enough. she finally told him that that was it. She said to me she was finding ways she had gone to someone like a homeless shelter or something to see if she did run. Would she be safe and then would they be able to then collect us afterwards? So she was trying to find ways to leave the environment, but she then always couldn't because it came back to me and my brother. And then, yeah, that day she finally enough was enough. Said she just didn't care, she didn't care what would happen to her or she knew that this couldn't go on anymore for the sake of me and my brother.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. She said she found it inner strength. My Nan had recently passed it away sudden It was hard for my Nan. This story for my mum because she knew what was going on, even that wasn't spoken about.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, so for me, it's kind of happy. It was so interesting also, is my niece lives with us Had her since she was two living in with my mum and my brother at home in East End, she gets it all. And I see that through my mum, through my brother, for all the love that they didn't have or the hugs, they give it to her. Which is beautiful, like you said, but they still can't do it amongst themselves.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Me, I feel so lucky this career football now in broadcasting, I've traveled the world, I've educated myself in such a different way, surround myself with people that are affectionate, I love, I love giving love to other people. And then I go back into that environment and straight away I'm like this again. It's like that frozen And it's hard because I've been on the journey doesn't mean you're ready for it. That I can try and bring it out of you, or I can baby steps, but yeah.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Still to the same It's hard. You know, I don't hug my Like, I want to the other day, it was her birthday. I was like, all right, mum, little hug and pat on the back. Love you. And then like, she feels awkward. I'm kind of awkward because that's how we've grown up. We don't know how to do that. I find it easier now because I've gone through the process of learning that and that it's okay. But then when I go back into the environment, to this day, I don't think I've ever hugged my brother. Because that's still that environment. It's hard because.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“For me, I always had it. I know from a kid, I just wanted to give love. Or see the light in someone, I wasn't getting it from my dad or my mama show him in a different way. I know I wanted it. I was craving it. I remember my best friend Regan going round to her house and they're huggers. Everything so affectionate Stephen, I would like freeze like this. She had hugged me and I just stand there. Oh my gosh, I don't even know what to do, what happens in this moment. And she laughed about it to this day.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, if we smoke back, if we didn't obey orders You show love, emotion, you're not being strong, you're not showing that you're strong, right? Just get on with things. Last night happened. You just get on with things.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It is empty What can she do? Someone so hurt that every time she moves. It hurts I heard everything. I heard her trying to run. A five, six year But we can't. No. Wasn't allowed to show love. I suppose that's why it's like a word like control is easy to say, isn't it? I suppose until you break it down and understand that's the control, like we're not even allowed to show love or hug. Or speak really.”
2022-09-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Alex Scott: I’ve Never Told The FULL Truth About My Past · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT