YouSaid · the spoken record

Ant Middleton

lines on the record: 116
first: 2021-03-29
most recent: 2021-03-29
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Communication or that constant crossing over of worlds that you need to really sort of mold together. And as my life is getting more and more, and I'm not in these high octane situations, I'm not in these life or death situations, it's becoming easier and easier.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It takes two weeks before that storm normally calms down and we go, all right, you know, again, not arguing to this, but, you know, just disagreements, just control issues. It's like two worlds colliding, right? And then after the two weeks, everything settles, I'm away again. I might be on tour. I might be like, I'm in Australia for two months now. It's like, so it's that constant”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Where you come back from, you can't just take a head, even Can do it. I can take a head off, put a different head on. That transition of kicking doors down to being back with a family, I need, even now when I come back off of filming, when I come back, before we actually start getting on again, you know, before I start settling back into the family, it takes about two weeks. And again, me and my partner are the best, most compatible partners in the world. The teamwork that we have is absolutely amazing. Hence why I've been with her for 16 years, been married for 14. But it still takes that two week period for me of me breaking her routine, of me coming in, taking over everything, you know, with the kids taking the kids to school, ruining her life that she's built. I come in like a storm”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Six months later, and she was like nearly seven months. And then I went straight on special forces selection. So for another six months, so I came back after like a year really of not really being at home to a one-year-old daughter who barely recognized me. You know, she pushed me away. And I'd interact and I'd be playing dolls on the floor, Barbies. And my wife came in one day. I was playing with these Barbies and she thought I'd lost the plot. She's like, you know, got these Barbies together trying to make her laugh, trying to make her smile. Because for the last year, she's just seen this pent-up war machine. You know, and I've come back and I'm not very easy to deal with, you know, during those transitions, you know, I need a bit of time.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“In completely different environments. And sometimes those environments, you're forced to act, and those environments get switched. And it's literally like a flash in front of your eyes, it's like bang! Shit, I used the wrong person there. I used the wrong environment. And that's the world that I live in. That's the world that I lived in. That was my life. That was, you know, I used to come back from Afghanistan. And, you know, I've got four children at home. A fifth one from a previous relationship who's 19. But I used to come home. I remember coming back from Afghanistan. And my daughter was born. She's 13 now. My daughter was born 10 days before I left for a six-month tour in Afghanistan. So she was born. So I didn't know her. And I came back.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, you can't be doing that. You can't be getting into fights downtown. You can't be getting, you know, I used to get into a hell of a lot of fights. You know, it ruined my military career. Because, you know, but then putting three tours of Afghanistan I've done almost back to back perfect out there and put boom boom boom boom boom so what animal do you want you know and it's okay to be able to flip from one to the other when when you're here But when you live on the complete opposite sides of the spectrum, you're going to get confused every now and then. You're going to be met with a situation in society where you're met with aggression, you're met with violence. Demon takes over. It's a moment of madness. It's just a confusion. Confliction between the two, you know, and it's between the two people. And sometimes it goes whack.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They were the missions that I went on, and I was hunting down Taliban commanders, you know, I was getting into fucking shitstorms, into firefights every week, every couple, you know, two, three times a week. I needed to call on those demons to come to the forefront of who I was to get the job done. And then switch it. You expected to switch it because one moment you kick in the door down, you know, taking out enemy combatants. The next moment next door you're kicking the door down as women and children in there. So you live on that side or you live on that side. And then when you get the too confused, you know, your mind might be an Afghanistan best man. Put me on camp. Well, you can't be doing that, Anne. Well, who the fuck do you want?”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What they want, that's what they need They need the animal on the battlefield They need Aggression they need the violence because ultimately on the battlefield you counter violence with extreme violence. There's zero tolerance to violence in Cibi Street. In society nowadays, you show any form of violence, you're going to end up behind bars, been there The military you counter violence with extreme violence. You counter anger with extreme anger. And that's needed. I needed to be that person on the battlefield. I needed to cut myself off from any emotional sort of feelings, any emotional. Discrepancies”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's not a loss You will always find something that fits you. Do you know what I mean? If you have the passion and the drive and the ambition and the positivity of knowing who you are, then ultimately the world is your oyster. It's like, you know, people have this impression of me that I'm this hard faced drill sergeant non-accepting person. I am the complete opposite. Go and be who the fuck you want to be. That's my message. Don't let anyone force you into saying anything, doing anything, or being anyone else. Be yourself. But this is the side that people don't see of you. But this is my personal side, Steve. People see what they want to see. The media will write what they want to write. They will make you out to be who they want you to be.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When you're in trouble, that's when you start to go. Well, I won't say that, I won't act like this, I won't do this, and I won't do that. And that's when you become someone else. That's when you become fake to who you are. And guess what? Desperate times then. You're like a wounded animal. And guess what? You're probably going to be right at the back of the pack for the rest of your life.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like I said before, if I get questioned one little bit about who I am by any brands, any sponsors, any channels, then I will not work with them. I will say, listen, thank you very much. It's obviously, you know, not the right match. You go on and do your thing and I'll go on and do my thing because I will always go on and do my thing. And that building can completely drop to the foundations. But when you're honest with yourself and you know who you are Foundations are solid, you will always have something to build from. But when you're not honest with yourself and everything comes crumbling down and you have no foundations to fall on, you're fucked.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Very to do with my books. And I can just, and I remember sitting back and just taking that breath and going, keep doing what you're doing. You're doing the right thing. And then this last week. No, so many doors have opened. Production companies calling me channels You hear about it, you hear about, oh, you know, you get cancelled, then that's your career done. But then you've got your Piers Morgan's, you've got your Jeremy Clarksons, and now you've got your Aunt Middleton's. It just goes to show that I'm doing the right thing and that actually, yeah, I'm not going to fit. I'm not going to be comfortable with everyone. I'm not going to be their cup of tea. Well, that's fine because guess what? I don't want to work with you. If I get questioned one little bit about my who I am.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They have the privilege of knowing me. And I think to myself, wow, you've got the privilege of knowing me. I've got the privilege of knowing myself because I know who I am. And I'm glad I gave you that privilege. And it's not being big-headed. I'm glad I gave you that privilege of knowing me because you know that this is just a storm of words. You know that this is just media hype. You know this is just fake news. You know this isn't real. You know, yeah, I've maybe got a little bit of a fiery side to me, but you know you're getting that with me. You know I'm rough around the edges. So yeah, and I'm happy to, you know, to cut a few of the edges, but those edges are still going to be there. Do you know what I mean? So when they said that to me, and it's something that will stick with me forever, and it's from a very, very good sponsor, you know.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“100% because I've got my foundations. I've got my foundations. I will always build, Steve. Always build. And this part of the building is so high now that can you cancel me? Crack on because I guarantee you I just keep building this side, this side, this side, this side. Because the people that know me know who I am. And someone said this to me with all the stuff that's been going on lately. You know, I've had some sponsors that have cancelled. I've had some TV programs that I've crack on. But the people that buy my side, the sponsors and the channels and the production companies that buy my side, that have worked for me saying, and we have the privilege of knowing you. And that rung accord to me though.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“who I am. Okay, so you can knock my bricks down. But guess what? I will keep building and building and building. And you can knock it. Even if you knock them down to the foundations, I can fall back on being true to myself. And there's no more liberating, Steve, liberating feeling than that of being true to who you are going. Do you know what? I'm not going to fit into that agenda. I'm not going to fit into that box. I'm not going to squeeze myself in there to make myself feel uncomfortable for your agenda because that's not who I am.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it's like, it's, you know, that's the one thing I've always fall back on is just knowing. You know if you're an idiot, you know if you're irritating people, you know if you're not a good person and then ultimately you know you're going to get what's coming to you and you probably deserve it But I know that I'm a good person I know my foundations I'm polite I'm respectful you know I don't go out to offend ever go out to offend I hate confrontation because of the way that I know that I can deal with confrontation it frightens me to get into that situation because I know what I'm capable of Okay, so I don't ever I'm over polite I'm over respectful because I think people should be treated like that now I like to be treated like that I wasn't treated like that when I started off in my army career and I know what it feels like okay and I never would never want anyone to experience that so I'm over polite and I'm over respectful and I always fall back on that I always look at myself in the mirror and I go Anne I know I'm a good person and that are the foundations that I've built that's my foundations that's”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, the message is always the same, but it's this bit in the middle, right? That you either get pushed to one side. You can't have this sort of in the middle opinion of, well, actually, my values are the same as yours. All about positive change. Yeah, okay. So why are you saying my values don't fit with yours? Because I'm about positive change. Look at my message for the last five, six years since I've been in the media. It's positive change. Unity. Look at what I do, everything I do, whether it's my books, my tours, my TV programs. Everything is about bringing people together, bringing the best out of people. So just because this in-between bit and my views are different and mine are probably truthful, which people don't want to hear the truth, it's like, right, bounced off to one side. And then you start to get cancelled.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But it's, and it's a dangerous place to live in. It's a sad state of affairs, a real sad, sad state of affairs. And, you know, just because your values and your views are different doesn't mean my message isn't the same. You know, my message, everything that I do is about positivity, is about mindset, is about bringing people together. You look at SAS Who Dares wins? What does it do? Makes people realize what they're capable of, makes them find themselves. It brings people together, brings families together. Mutiny. teamwork brings people together. Escape, you know, straight talking, being honest and open. And it makes you feel good. It brings you together. It unites people because they can be open and honest with themselves and therefore they know what they're capable of. Self-belief starts to kick in and they feel good about is bringing people together, right? And that is you'd be inhumane, really, to not think like that, to not want to help people.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Doesn't mean I belong on that side I belong in the middle. Now, people say. On the left, you're on the right? I'm like, I'm not on the left or right. I'm in the middle. I'm in the middle. But there is no middle because the moment that you go, you say slightly something that goes against this agenda, then again, you just get bounced straight to the other side.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because the moment that that comes into question, then it's like, you probably don't get who I am. You probably don't understand who I am. You probably haven't done your homework with who I am. Do I fit into your agenda? And it's like, if you don't fit into one agenda, you get bounced, boom, straight across to the opposite side, right? It's like, listen, I don't belong on that side. It's just because I don't believe in this side.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, it's a controlling measure. And it's like, listen, I've let people control my life. I've let situations control my life. And I've ended up psychologically, not physically, psychologically on that brink of... Questioning who the fuck am I? Who am I? That's what I question. And the moment I start questioning who am I, then I know that project isn't for me. I know that that sponsor isn't for me. I know that that TV channel or that TV production isn't for me.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's a sore point with me. You know, you try and make me someone that I'm not. Like I've been made someone that I'm that I'm not, you're probably going to get even the worst out of me even more so because everything comes back around to who you truly are.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, regardless, but then there's that platform of not reaching that level quite yet. And then everything descending upon you. And unfortunately, there's a lot of people out there that are scared to say what they truly feel, are scared to voice their opinions, are scared to, you know, voice their values because ultimately it takes food off the table. It's a career stopper. When your career stops, guess what suffers after that? Your family. And then when that suffers, guess what? There's not much out there for you. You have to rebuild again. Well, all those 10, 15, 20 years career that you've built all for that one moment, is it worth it? No. So what do you do? Keep quiet. What do you do? Don't do anything. Just say what they want you to say and do what they want you to do. That doesn't fucking rub with me.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's dangerous, it is dangerous, but Hopefully, you get past that That stage of people realizing that actually this is ant. He's not been any different. He's not voiced anything different. He's not trying to fit into a media agenda. He's not tried to blag anyone. He's not being fake. This is who Aunt Middleton is. And he will always be like that.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“than also actions don't do things maliciously because then ultimately yeah you're going to have a backlash you're going to have a reaction to what you've done so that's exactly what i do i don't go out to offend but i go out to to tell the truth but i also go out to seek the truth you know and i go out to seeking the truth again everything starts with you with who i am And it's dangerous”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do you know what I've been witness of it? You know, the council culture, the don't say that, Ant, because you will lose this book deal, you will lose that media career, you will lose that production. I'm witness of it right now. I hear it probably on a weekly basis. But then That's that square peg round hole It's like no, I don't you know it's every time I think about that and I always have two principles with everything that I do is don't go out to offend so don't say things to offend people Therefore they choose to be offended I don't say things to offend people I just say things what I think is right what have served me good in my experiences and my career and my mindset And the second thing is, you know, don't do things maliciously. So first of all, don't go out to it's verbal.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Can fall back on right, to be honest with yourself. Be honest with who you are, be honest with you, you know, with how you tackle things and don't lie to yourself”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I say to him, You haven't. That's why you're still just that guy. That's why I'm at Middleton and you're still just that guy is because, of course, I've changed. I like to think in another 10 years' time when you see me that I've changed again. Because if I haven't, I'm doing something wrong. And that doing something wrong is not being honest with myself. And it all goes back to you as an individual. No one can do that for you. No one can do that for you. And I say to everyone, everything starts with you It's so true. If you don't want to change, then nothing will change around you. If you don't want to be honest with yourself, well, guess what? You're lying to yourself. It's complete opposite. Therefore, you're living a lie. It's like you have to do this on a weekly or a monthly basis, anytime an obstacle was thrown in front of you.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And the moment that you Not honest with yourself. This came over for you. It's like you just want to be just that person. You know, a lot of people chase me and hell. Remember me from the military? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've changed a lot. You've changed. I'm like that. I haven't seen you for 10 years. I hope I've changed.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Does take away all the bullshit and all the complications, and it frees you as an individual. But you have to do it on a regular basis. You can't just go, I've done it once, or here we go, I found myself. This is who I am. Because hopefully, you're constantly changing. You're constantly evolving. You're constantly adapting your mindset. Now, that's what evolution is about. The world is designed to, you know, evolutionizes and we are designed to do exactly the same.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is the hardest but most liberating thing I've ever done. And people shy away from that and they live in the void. They live this life where they just live in the void. I call it you're an autopilot because you're lying to yourself and it's pretty simple. Therefore, you're going to live a lie. I don't care. I'm not the Archbishop of Canterbury. You know, I'm like, I'm not a rocket scientist. It's just simple science. If you lie to yourself, guess what? You're going to live a lie. But standing in a mirror Standing in a mirror and ripping yourself apart.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Know people say to me, and what's the bravest thing you've ever done? And I always talk about the story of the job centre steps because that took courage, that took balls, that's bravery right there. You know, I've been in rooms where bullets are flying over my head. I've kicked doors down and, you know, I've taken, I've saved life. It's like that's not being brave. That's just me being extremely good at my job and loving what I do. You know, it's nothing to do with bravery. You know, bravery is almost forced upon you. But when you decide to step in Put that mirror on yourself, ultimately facing yourself.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That completely understand that, and that makes complete sense to me. And one of the things that I say is the most courageous thing you can do above all bravery is to be honest with yourself.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I can just remember thinking to myself, right, Aunt, you've been here before. You know, you've got best recruit, best PT, you know, you rested on your laurels, went to your unit, didn't really fit in. You're in the same position now. Now, you can either use this as a positive and push forward and go on to achieve great things, or you can try and fit in booze, fight, be a camp hero, you know, a pub soldier and just be back to square one where you was five, six, seven years ago.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And when I got rid of it all, I was like, Do you know what? I was good at the military. Got best recruit, best PT when I was in the army. Do you know what I'm going to do? I love that lifestyle, but I was just around the wrong people. I was in the wrong regiment. You know, I'm going to rejoin the military, but I'm going to be a team player. I'm going to be myself. I'm going to be this respectful gentleman hard worker that I know that I am. Do you mean I'm not going to go out boozing? I'm not going to go out fighting. I'm not going to try and fit in. You know, if they don't accept me for who I am, then so be it. The military obviously isn't for me. And I joined the Royal Marines. I went straight down the career's office, straight down the Careers office and joined the Royal Marines. And within a couple of months, because of my previous military history, I got in very quick. And within a couple of months, I found myself going through a war marine training. And when I passed out of War Marine Training, I got awarded with Best Recruit, which is the King's Badge.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that moment I'll always go back to that moment. Whenever I get a bit above myself or a bit too big for my boots, I always go back to that moment where I rip myself apart because it freed me as an individual. And I promise you this. And it's not cliche. This isn't some kind of fucking bullshit story that I'm telling you. It freed me as an individual because I can remember standing up on them steps. Feeling like a new man because I just identified who I was. This isn't you, get that out your life, get that out your life, get that out of your life. Be you. And I had those foundations to fall back on because I knew who I was ultimately, but it was discovered and ego, covered with so much bullshit, covered with so much complications that I had implemented on myself.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I just remember thinking to myself, right, I'll tell you why. Because you're pretending to be someone else. You lying to yourself, therefore you're living a lie. You think you're better than everyone else. You know, you've got this reputation that you want to uphold. That's not you. You're just a shadow of who you really are. You're not, you know, who the hell do you think you are? Because the person that I'm looking at, and I'm almost looking in the mirror, the person that I'm looking at is exactly where you should be. Sat on a fucking step, jobless with nothing. This isn't you. And if you want to live in the shadow, if you want to stay stuck in that hole, in that square hole, then... Keep lying to yourself and keep living a lie.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I can remember just sitting there 22, sitting down and I think, my okay's gonna offer me a job now and he just handed me the book and called over the next person. And I was just like, so I'm picking up the book. And I remember taking the book, and as I walked down the steps of the job center, I sat down halfway down on the steps. And I had a train ticket in my pocket in probably about... liquid loose change that's that was my life um this was at the age of 22 23 maybe and um i can just remember thinking to myself right Why the hell are you sapped? Nothing in your life apart from what the clothes that you wear in and what's in your pockets. The moment of clarity just hit me. It's almost as if I had an out of body experience and I was looking back at the boy sitting on the step and”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“All your qualifications, military qualifications, all your credentials. I walked into the job centre and the guy obviously recognized the books. They'd probably have hundreds of people going there a year. And he said, oh mate, UX military, aren't you? I was like, yeah, he said, come to the desk. He sat down with me. And he opened up my book and he started reading my book. and he looked up at me and he said why did you leave the military And before I could answer, I was going to say something back, and he said, I have hundreds of these come across my desk. And he said, this is one of the best reports I've ever read. He said, so my advice to you as he slammed the bookshop, he went, go back into that space.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's one moment that saved me I refused to sign on. I refused to take any help from the government. And I can remember my auntie, I was living with my auntie at the time. She said, Aunt, you've got, you know, you've got no money. What are you going to do? I said, well, I'm going to go down to the job center. She said, why don't you just sign on until you find a job? I'm like, no, I was proud. I was like, no, I've never taken a penny off the government. I thought, no, I'm going to go to the job center. I remember walking into the job center, walking up the stairs, walking into the job centre, and I had my red book and the red book when you leave the military has got all you.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Got into the street life where fighting, not gangs, not gangs, but that social circle where you have to uphold a reputation. And the one thing that, you know, say the one thing, but the thing that I was good at that fitted me is that I was a good scriper. I know how to scrap. I know how to drink, I know how to fight. You find yourself reverting back to the person. Who you never wanted to be, and I suppose that was the defense mechanism. I knew that that worked in the UK. I'd never trialed and tested anything else. Soon as I came over to the UK straight into the military again. Now I Ten, twelve years in France before that, then boom, straight over into the British culture. And I thought that's how you acted. I never knew what City Street was about. I was never in it. So it took me a good couple of years again to realize.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So those demons that had sort of identified themselves within that four years were running the show. So when I got out, I joined the Metropolitan Police. And I was acting like a proper squaddy. Going out drinking every night, you know, cheating on my exams, drink driving. I got all the way through training a couple of weeks ago, a couple of weeks to go, passed all the tests, I got caught drink driving. Boom. Kicked out the Met, out the training in Hendon. But it didn't bother me. I was like, yeah, once a soldier, always a soldier. And I was living in the past and being someone who completely wasn't me, but who had control of me. And then getting into the street life.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“From there I handed him my notice and I left and I found that in Civi Street I was acting Person that I never wanted to be in the military. But I'd found that that had followed me, that that had taken charge of me.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I've got to get the hell out of here. And I walked out of that bar, and the next day I put my notice in. I was like, that, this is not who I am. This is not, you know, I've gained more demons from this four years than I have. Any benefits from it. And that was a pivotal point, that was a pivotal point in my life where I thought to myself, wow, you know, I can either go change in such a way and just be stuck in this square hole where I can pull myself out, rebuild on the foundations that I have of knowing that I'm a good person.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And when I got back off that tour, I can just remember going to the squadron bar. I was in Nine Parachute Squadron Royal Engineers, going to the squadron bar. We've just done a six month tour. I'm going to the squadron bar. And I remember walking in there. And I remember seeing someone, a staff sergeant, got about 35, 36. You know, a young 20, 21-year-old, drinking from a boot, from an old desert boot, and he's drinking piss Drinking piss for my boot. And I can just remember looking at him thinking, if I continue the way that I'm going, that's going to be me in fifteen years time. And it scared the hell out of me. I can remember just”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Moving forward in what I need to do, especially in the military, than it is a benefit So you find yourself turning into this person. I can just remember. twenty one and I went to Macedonia and I worked with the French foreign legion out there because I could speak fluent French and I worked with the French foreign legion a bit and I saw how they work they were very very mature very sort of you know going back to that French culture you know their family orientated very I thought to myself this is this is who I am”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Or I can pull myself out of it. And for the first four years I found myself fitting in. And I found myself being good at drinking, found myself being good at fighting. I found myself at being good at being a fucking dickhead, you know, because that's what I needed to be to fit in. So again, those were demons that I discovered along the way that I found that I was good at. So would I let anyone take the piss out of me anymore? You bet it no. because you're going to get you're going to get a good hiding you know would i would i go out and and drink and fit in yeah of course of course i would you know one of the lads i want to fit in do you know what i mean i'm so i'm so far detached from all of that But if I'm this young, polite, respectful, sort of multicultural individual. And that's going to more of a hindrance to”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you go around pleasing everyone else, or you pull yourself out of that situation. And that's ultimately what I've done with the army. I spent four years in the army, then left because of that situation. It wasn't me. I wasn't this aggressive young lad that loved drinking. I'd never used to drink. I was always polite, always respectful. I'd walk past someone, I'd tip my hat. You know, in France, you said, bonjour, you know, you just have a little chat. You do that in England when I was 16, 17, walking past someone, nodding at him. They're like, what the fuck are you looking at? Now, and it used to shock me, and I used When he said in hi, mate, what you know. And that was a pivotal four years in my life where I thought to myself, right, can I either fit in to this UK culture?”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When I joined the British military, I joined the army at the age of 16. I'm just going on to 17. And I came from a background of French culture. I'd go out and drink coffee when I was 14, play bowling when I was 15. And then all of a sudden I get thrown into a male dominant organization. The culture drinks. Fit in or you fuck off. It's as simple as that. So, what do you do? You try and fit in. But when you try and put a round peg into a square hole, you know, you're going to get stuck. And you either stay stuck.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Know, I never put myself in these situations again because I find myself constantly doing it. But for me, that is exercising my demons and everyone's demons are different. Everyone's situation is different. Everyone's emotions are different. Everyone's DNA is different. But that's me exercising my demons.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT