YouSaid · the spoken record

Ant Middleton

lines on the record: 116
first: 2021-03-29
most recent: 2021-03-29
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Drug I chase and that's crossing those boundaries, crossing those lines, crossing any limitations to the edge of life. You take that step, you're gone. You go over that edge. You know, you're going to feel it. You're going to feel alive. You're going to feel everything that you need out of life. But for me, that's exercising my demons. So whether I do it psychologically, whether I'm putting myself in situations that I'm saying stuff that I believe in, that I value, that as a message, and it's being contradicted, or whether I'm pushing myself to a physical limit or put myself in a physical situation, which is uncomprehendable to the everyday man or woman. But it's because I've tasted it, I've had the misfortune. Tasting that drug And will it be the end of me? I can't say that for sure. I can't say that it won't. I can't say that”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So peaceful, and when you hear of World War I and World War two poets that writing poems in trenches, people are like how the hell are they writing poems in trenches? I understand that feeling because life is so uncomplicated, it's so pure, it's so peaceful that they're writing with no stresses, no complications, no bullshit. It's just it's coming from the purest form of life of I'm either going to live or I'm going to die. And it's that feeling that I chase. I chase that feeling, well, I just want that moment of peace, of pure and utter peace for 10, 15 minutes.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Me exercising my demons. That's me, you know, pushing myself to that limit. That's me having tasted that drug of... Living on that line of life and death and a lot of people think that drugs adrenaline but it's not I don't feel pumped I don't feel I feel ultimate peace so people find this bizarre but when I walk that line of life and death which I've done multiple times it's a pure feeling of euphoria it's not what you think where you feel pumped in your your eyes are red and you've got this aggression going through you and you have to get through this moment it's like life is so uncomplicated Steve so uncomplicated you're either going to live or you're going to die all the bullshit all the complications of life that is implemented on you whether that's through government whether that's through work whether that's through family all of that goes and you are left with the most purest form of life and it's so uncomplicated that it's so euphoric”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To say the least. But it's one of those where I didn't just want to walk up on a nice sunny day. You know, and gain nothing from that experience.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Go out and you know, I'll have a nice meal, and you know, we'll have a few glasses of wine, and we're in a private room and we're shooting the shit and, you know, just talk about whatever we need to talk about, whatever's on your mind. But also physically, I exercise my demons physically. You know, I put myself in horrendous situations in order to fight against myself. Everest is a prime example of that.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You have to exercise them. And you know, the way I exercise my demons is. By getting like minded similar people in the same room in a safe environment and I might drink myself into oblivion till three four in the morning, you know, chatting about what we've done, chatting about old times, chatting about who we are. And then, boom, I'm done for six months. You know, I've released those demons when you, you know, intoxicate yourself with alcohol, you know, it allows you to talk. And I'm not saying go out there and do that, but that's just my way of coming from a drinking culture, i.e. the military, drinking and a fighting culture. That's the way that we deal with things. And for now, now it might be a blowout where.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“See it See people level headed intelligent soldiers lose their head on the battlefield, come running past you, doing things that you think Wow Where the hell did that come from? You look into their eyes and there's fucking nothing there. Nothing there and then boom they flip out and you're like Realize what you just Know those demons are fucking strong, they're there.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it's any, you know, throughout these few years when you start to reflect back on who you are and what you've been through, you start to go bloody hell. And actually, maybe I was thinking like that at a young age. So, but then again, you know, who I am, I'm honest with myself. I'm honest with my demons. I'm honest with who I am. And ultimately, I'm honest with knowing that we're not perfect.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And this whole new life was just forced upon me, forced upon me. So I was either forced to act or forced not to act, you know, sitting in that bush, me forcing not to act was probably jumping in the road, thinking, listen, enough is enough. Did that question your mind? A big road, it was a big road Never got to that stage where I thought, right, I'm going to take my life, but it was like There's an easy option out of here. I mean, it's like there is an easy option out of here, but it never crossed my mind to do it, but I can just remember thinking of that road thinking, the cars move fast there. Do you know what I mean? If you wanted to, it's more like if you wanted to.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Part of my life, and it affected me all the way up to my mid-20s in a bad way where I'd go out and try and understand who my father was, try and understand, you know, I never went to his funeral. I never went to his grave. Now, my parents, I say my parents, my stepdad, because he became in my life so young, I called him my dad. They never told me where he was buried. He was just completely cut out of our life because of the situation beforehand. You know, for him to come into our lives a couple of months after, it was pretty obvious that my mum was obviously having an affair or there's something going on. And again, I'm not judging anyone or the situation. But, you know, so when he came into our life, it was like, right, you call him dad. My name changed from Aaron to Middleton. Not a lot of people know that.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, the death of my father actually made me self-reflect from the age of six or seven. So I've been self-reflecting, understanding my emotions, understanding how I feel, understanding my demons, understanding, you know, the good parts of me, the bad parts of me, the weak parts of me, the strong parts of me, the positive side of me, the negative side of me. And I've been really breaking it down from such a young age. Given me an advantage in life, I generally believe that that's given me my sort of Bulletproof mindset on how to tackle anyone or any situation today. So even though it's a traumatic problem.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Why am I here? What's the purpose? I couldn't grasp anything at that young age. And it was during that moment when I let everything go. And I can just remember thinking to myself, don't try and understand what's going on. Don't just try and understand who this man is and where he's come from. Don't try and understand why you're in a different school speaking a different language because you can't. Don't try and understand all of a sudden you're living in caravans. We moved. We were living in a couple of caravans, big, big family from houses. And I can just remember dropping everything and thinking to myself, understand what you can understand. And at that young age, what I could understand was what I was feeling. You know, I could understand myself. So when I look back on the death of my father and as I flipped everything into a positive, even though years and years and years down the line, I'd done this.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, my father passed away when I was five years old and within a few months a new man came into our life, my stepfather. And then within two years we moved to France. So we lived in Portsmouth, we upped and moved completely to France, a new situation, a new environment, a new man in our life. And I can just remember thinking, I remember going into a bush. In the fields where we lived in France after a couple of months, we were there, and I sat in this bush. And the magnitude of the situation was so overwhelming. I can just remember looking at the road and thinking to myself, what am I doing here?”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“As on a certain person or has on a certain family or has on a certain situation. And it's ultimately being okay with who you are. That's the whole thing about it. It's being acknowledging that, listen, we're not perfect. We're human. Okay. We have weaknesses. We have insecurities. We have these horrendous thoughts sometimes. Now, you'd be a liar to say that you don't sit there sometimes. And, you know, the things that go through your head, if you actually voice them, then that becomes a problem. That's you not exercising your demons. That's them exercising you. And it's just about acknowledging that. And I acknowledge that from such a young age. I acknowledge that from a young age when my father passed away and I couldn't really understand what was going on.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that's just a generic message to everyone to say that it's okay to have bad thoughts. It's okay to have these demons inside you. They exist in all of us. But the important message is to exercise them. Because the moment you lock them away, the moment you lock these thoughts away, the moment you lock these demons away, the moment you lock any negativity away, all it's going to do is take over like a mold and it's going to completely engulf you and it's going to go into control you as an individual. And it's only because I've been there and I've done it, whether that's what I've done in combat, losing my father at a young age, losing my mother, seeing bodies blown up around me, seeing dead people around me, seeing the effect it has on families, seeing what my decision, pulling that trigger or not.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“One of the things that I say is the most courageous thing you can do above all bravery is this is the personal life that I really keep to myself. I've spoken a lot about it today, which I've never spoken about before.”
2021-03-29 · The Diary of a CEO · Ant Middleton Opens Up About His Personal Demons, Being "Cancelled" & His Spirituality · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT