YouSaid · the spoken record

Dr. Erica Komisar

lines on the record: 181
first: 2025-03-03
most recent: 2025-03-03
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“And when they're really little, you're their environment, you're it, tag, you're it. When they're an adolescence, you're a very important part of the environment, but not all of their environment. They have friends, they have school, they have activities, right? And so it's very important if you can get to the first window to get there because you don't know what's going to happen to them and you want to fortify them, right? You want to fortify them so when they get to adolescence, which is really painful and hard and a struggle that they have the inner resources to cope with adolescence because it's so hard adolescence, right? And it offers such adversity, social adversity, academic adversity, right? Social media. Both of these periods are important. If you miss the first window, Yes, the title of my second book was”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's still growing, but it's not growing at the same pace, so say that it's still like growing a little, like the garden grows in one big burst and then little bursts. So from three to nine, it's still growing, right? But not to the same degree as the first critical period of brain development. Now adolescence comes nine to twenty five. And now you have to prune back the garden because if you don't prune back the cells you don't need, it's as damaging to the brain as if you didn't grow them to begin with. So in these two critical windows, the environment dictates do the cells grow, do they get pruned?”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like, you got it wrong. I'm like, you have to be here now because now is when the cell growth is happening. Every time a baby snuggles and takes the breast and looks at you with their eyes and you sing to them and Thousands, millions of synapses are firing. Okay, so you have, think of a garden. By three years of age, you growing a garden, I know'cause I just started a garden where have vegetables and flowers and it's abundant, it's an abundant I love my garden. This is an abundant garden of brain tissue. If you do it right, it grows, it overgrows, you know, the flowers, the vegetables, it's growing crazy, okay. Now they go into childhood, after three years old, they go into childhood. And from three years old till about nine years old.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There are certain what we call critical periods of right or social emotional brain development. One is zero to three and it's the most important because what's happening is something called neurogenesis. So it's the growth of cells. And your presence as a parent who provides safety and security buffers your child from stress regulates their emotions is critical to them growing that right brain because eighty-five percent of the right brain is developed by three. Crazy, right? 85% and you being there changes the architecture of that brain. That's how important you are. Like people come up to being cocktail parties and they'll say to me. I don't have to be there. My baby's just sleeping and pooping, and they don't need me. I'm going to be around when they're talking and walking.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“feel so secure that you're going to be there. Then they start to take chances, they start to take risks, they start to toddle off. That's where the word toddler came from. They toddle away, but guess what they do for emotional security? Look back, and they say. There, it's okay, and then they keep playing. Or they run back and get a hug, and then they run off again. You are their touchstone of security, and that's how children become courageous, that's how they develop the ability to explore and still feel secure.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They'll be around other kids. No, no, children don't need other kids until the age of three. They do something called parallel play. What they need is one on one connection. They need attachment security and they need their emotional needs met by one person, one on one. After three, then the beginning of preschool, then they start to actually interact with one another, and then they're not playing together. They're just doing parallel play. So that's another myth. The myth that daycare is good for children, for socialization. No, children don't need socialization before three unless their mother's with them. So what I say is do play dates, do play groups, but be within eye gaze or ear shot of a child, meaning there's something called reproach, which is emotional refueling. So when children start to explore, when you've given them emotional security.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“friend, she paid to watch her child, and so that person was Auntie and that person was like family and was in that child's life forever. So what I say about childcare is there are different levels of importance. So the first, the best is your primary attachment figure. Next best is kinship bonds, family or extended family. Someone who has a similar investment to that child as you do.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The way that I raise my children because I was a single mother raising three children, I had to work to pay the rent. She said but I made sure that I didn't work past five o'clock and never worked past five o'clock I'd come home at five o'clock. I didn't go out at night people would say let's go I said no my children this is my time with my children so I don't go out at night I don't go out on weekends I'm with when I'm not working I am with my children and my children knew that I had to work but the way I used my free time was very carefully She also said to me and again a number of there are a number of interviews in there she also said that the people who she left her children with she never used daycare She had extended family watch her child so her neighbor who was her dear”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What we should be promoting in this world, I'm going to say this, it's controversial, is that whoever is the primary attachment figure has a career that they have control over and flexibility. Maybe the other person does. Maybe the other person works for someone or whatever. But in my book, I interview a lot of different women from a lot of different socioeconomic backgrounds. And one of the women that I interviewed was a nanny. And she said she had three children, and she said that the”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To. Okay. So first of all, it's a good reason to use birth control and not have a baby at 18. But okay, let's put that aside for a second. Let's put that aside for a second. Let's say that.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, so who are the people who can't architect their own lives? You want to be, who do you think? I would say hedge fund managers.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Modest schedule get up in the morning to catch the light, and then he'd be done by like three or four o'clock in the afternoon he'd have dinner with his family, you know, We are the architects of our own lives. No not kind of”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that's just a reality. So, what are the careers that are really good for whoever's going to be the primary attachment figure? Service fields, fields where you have your own business and you can make your own schedule around your children where your children don't work around you. You work around your children. Physical therapy, psychotherapy, speech therapy, consulting maybe anything that's entrepreneurial, anything that is a service field. No, I'm going to disagree with you. I'm going to say you can, but you have to be willing to set limits with yourself. So you have to be willing to say. Gino Monet, the painter. He was famous in his own life, now most painters have to be dead to be famous, and he painted on a very”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Quality versus quantity time You cannot be there for your children on your own time you have to be there on their time, meaning quality time is a narcissistic fantasy. I can be there on my time. So my child sits at home and is like a vase on the counter, waiting for me to come home and then I come home and there I can be present for my child. Your child has needed you all day long. And when you come home, that's on your time. You need to be there a quality of time as well as a quantity of time. I always say to people that you can be physically present but be emotionally checked out, but you can't be emotionally present if you're not physically there enough of the time.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, I'm saying that there are certain careers realistically, here's the inconvenient truth again. Bunch of inconvenient truths. There are certain careers that are harder to be a good mother. Period, I'm saying that I know it's a harsh tok, but there it is. There are certain careers that are too demanding to be present for your children. Whether you're a mother or a father You think if you're a father who's the CEO who's traveling around the world and misses your children's birthday and misses your children's soccer games and misses your children's piano concerts and isn't there to pick them up at school or have breakfast with them or have dinner at the end of the day, you think that child is going to have a healthy relationship with that parent? Another myth. Here we are. I told you I was going to weave the myths in.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Work as a team. Parenting is a team sport, not a competitive sport. And so what's happening today because of all this gender neutrality and we're as gum as good as you and you're as good as me and we're the same it means that couples are competing with one another and that's causing so much tension because what's best is when couples complement each other. When their differences mean that as a team they work well to care for a child. And I would say the secret to success in a marriage is save your competition for the tennis court, for the basketball court, for running in the park, but don't compete over child rearing. Who's going to take care of the children? Don't compete over who makes more money. Find a way to compliment each other and be a team.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It was much easier in the olden days. Now not everything was good in the olden days, but you would say the idea that roles were defined meant that men and women didn't compete over their roles. Now what I think is causing a lot of these divorces and what's causing a lot of marital conflict is that men and women compete over everything. They compete over who's going to make more money. They compete over who's going to care for the baby. You're a CEO of a company, you had your own company, so you can't have co-CEOs. I mean, I don't know if you did, but it doesn't work. I mean, anybody that I've ever treated that says we're going to do co-CEOs, it always falls apart. You can have a CEO, you can have a president, you can have the head of marketing, you can have a CFO, you can have a CEO. These are different roles. And they don't compete with one another.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I don't think we do that. Instead women say nothing's going to change and men say nothing's going to change. And then they have babies, and they're not prepared for the changes that occur. Changes occur in men too. It's not just women. I mean, fathers also can have this transformation, right? Where they also want to work less, or, you know, sometimes the transformation comes in the form of wanting to work less and being home. Sometimes it comes in the form of wanting to go out and take on the world so they can provide for their family, you know, but it does. It does stimulate something, it stimulates some evolutionary response in men and women. The hardest thing I find is when men and women compete.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Prepare. Let's strategize. Let's say what if I want to stay home with the baby? What if I may not feel like that now, but what if I see this baby and I fall in love with this baby and I want to stay home and I'm the mother and I want to breastfeed and I don't want to go back to work for a while and so then you say what would that scenario look like? What could we do? What could we downscale in terms of our material life and our lifestyle that makes it possible for me to stay home?”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So It's a good question. I get a lot of people coming to me and saying, and this is very common. I want to quit my job. I want to downscale, I want to work part time. But my husband won't support it Because I made a promise that I would be the primary breadwinner, and now I want to switch, and he won't switch, or he doesn't support me giving up my high paying job, but I feel this transformation of being with my baby. The problem with young people is they promise each other, they make promises to each other that they probably should not make, do not promise your spouse that nothing will change when you have a baby. Say to your spouse, let's prepare for everything to change Let's believe that anything is possible and let's read.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, no. And I'll tell you why. It's very confusing to children. When parents say I'm both mother and father to my child, I say no, no, it's very confusing to children. They need to have a mother figure and a father figure, and I say that knowing today's politics and knowing today's social situation. You can have a mother figure who's not a mother. Maybe it's a nanny, maybe it's a grandmother. You need a mother figure. And you need that mother figure to be around a lot. If that mother figure is the one who provides the sensitive empathic nurturing. So some of this can be taught, but it can't be taught unless you first acknowledge that there are differences. If we cannot as a society acknowledge the inconvenient truth that men and women are different in terms of their nurturing behaviors, then we can't teach anybody anything.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now that may seem politically incorrect, but someone's got to play that role. You cannot have two fathers for a child. A child needs a mother and a father. If you're going to have two men, then one of them has to play that sensitive empathic role. The other has to play the playful tactile stimulation role. Same with two women who are raising children. It's better to have a father and a mother than two mothers. So which of you is going to be the dad? Of you is going to roughhouse and play basketball and roll the rounds on the ground and tickle the baby and encourage exploration and risk taking.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So it's a different instinct. So fathers can be taught to be primary attachment figures, but this is why I say it's so very important that we recognize the difference between men and women if we just think they're exactly the same and we put it through a father into the mix with an infant and the mother's going out and the father's staying home. If we don't talk about this stuff and talk about it openly and say when the baby cries you have to mirror the baby's emotions, you have to do skin to skin, you have to soothe the baby, not encourage resilience, not distract the baby, not use discrepant emotions with the baby. If the baby's crying, don't go, oh you're okay, you'll be fine No. So it's really important if the father's going to stay home that he learns how to be a mother. Sometimes gay couples will come to me and I'll say, you know, two gay men will come. I'll say which one of you is going to be the mother.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You get behind that baby, and you're like, get going, buddy. You better get going or you're going to be lunch for that lion. That's a father's instinct, is to protect its protective aggression, right? That's different than the baby and polyfalls down in the mother comes over and licks the baby and says, are you okay, honey? Can I give you a hug? If Impolla could talk.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It can be the father, but first the father has to learn how to be a sensitive. It doesn't come naturally to most men. With rare exception, I have known some patients where the husband the father was more sensitive than the mother. It's possible. But in general, instinctually fathers are not sensitive and pathic nurtures because it's against their evolutionary instinct. Their evolutionary instinct is If you were an animal on the plains of Africa. You're an impala. You're a daddy impala. Your baby is born and it comes out running because they are. They're like born and you're all running together.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, no, it can be the father It's the go to person who's a sensitive empathic nurturer so when that baby's in distress that baby gets their emotional needs met.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“How we say breast is best, and it is for a variety of reasons, but the best is your primary attachment figure for the first three years, as much as possible.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Daycare raises salivary cortisol levels in children, the studies show, meaning those babies are put into stressful states at a very young age when their brains are developing. Daycare has been known to increase aggression and anxiety and behavioral problems in school in the school years. And those children are more likely to develop attachment disorders. Remember those first three years when children are so very fragile and vulnerable, taking them away from your body as a primary attachment figure and handing them over to strangers. and leaving them there for hours on end will cause your child to have to develop pathological defenses, and that's what those children are forced to do. So it is the least good option of childcare. So let's talk about what are the better options of child care if you have to use childcare.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But you see. And so that's why people, I would say most people go into therapy, not for big tea traumas, believe it or not, even though the ACE is study, says, you know, alcoholism, drug addiction, of course those are big tea traumas. Most people come into therapy for little tea trauma. And the reason why it's quite difficult for those people is there's not a lot of reinforcement from society that those are also traumas, but in fact they are traumas, attachment trauma. You know, if you were put in daycare, so I have patients who come to me and say, I can remember being put in daycare. You're not supposed to remember things until the age of four or five, but some patients can remember flashes of memory under five, and they'll say I was put into daycare, I just all I can remember is screaming my lungs out. For my mommy”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Neglect Being ignored, having a mentally ill parent that no one knows about, maybe a depressed mother who sleeps in in the morning and doesn't get up and feed you. You know, you get up and feed yourself, or maybe you're a latchkey kid who comes home and you're isolated and alone or things that people can't see.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“more nuanced. It requires looking with a finer tooth comb at the issues, it's more relational, it's more I was subtly neglected by my mother, my mother wasn't a good listener, my mother loved me, my father loved me, but he never understood me. My parents were narcissistic and very self-centered. They were never around, you know. And so people will come into my office and sit down individuals for therapy and they'll say, you know, I don't know what's wrong with me. I had two parents who stayed together wealth that I could need. I never wanted for stuff. You know, my parents stayed together and I don't know what's wrong with me. And so I say, okay, so you're telling me nothing big and traumatic happened to you in your life. Let's talk about the nuance. And we're not very nuanced anymore, so we don't want to look at what causes most forms.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't know, I haven't heard about your traumatized background. If so, if you have a trauma, I would say we're all, so let me say this. There's this word trauma is used a lot. Can I just talk about it for a moment? There's something called big T trauma, right? Big T trauma is like I was in a car accident and I lost my legs or I lost my parents. You know, my mother died of brain cancer or my father was an alcoholic and beat me or, you know, there are things that are more concrete that you can hold on to, things that happen to people. Yeah, I was raped or, you know Those are big tea trauma. But believe it or not, probably fewer people suffer from big tea trauma and more people suffer from little tea trauma. And little tea trauma.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then they start screaming, and you say a broken record is a communication style where you say, oh, I can see it's really hard for you, but you still can't have the sweets and you stay with them and you keep empathizing and then setting structure, empathizing structure, empathizing structure. The mistake that parents make is that they go right into the no word. They don't use empathy. They don't bring empathy in. And the truth is that even as an adult, if somebody just says no without first recognizing how you feel, you feel very unsatisfied, right? For a child it's critical. It's critical that even when you have to say no, and particularly if you have to say no, that you first recognize how they feel.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, you can say I can see that you really want that packet of sweets. I can see how hard it is because you really want it, but you know you can't have it before dinner. You know that's the rule”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, first you have to, so before you discipline, you always want to be empathic first, so I always say that if you are going to discipline a child, first you have to recognize how they feel. I mean, recognizing how children feel is important anyway, meaning when you recognize a child's feelings, if they're sad, you mirror their sadness, if they're angry, you say, I can see you're angry, if they're happy, you look happy with them. That kind of reflection is the way that your child knows that you acknowledge them, that they're a person to you, that they're a separate person to you. It's how they feel valuable. So when you acknowledge their feelings, that's the first critical, you'd say, parenting 101, acknowledge your child's feelings.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“An emotionally regulated parent, a healthy parent produces a healthy child. So what is a healthy parent? A healthy parent is a parent who feels good about themselves, who is authentically good self-esteem, not grandiosity, but really feels good about themselves, knows their strengths and limitations, and overall as a whole person feels good about themselves. They have the capacity to regulate their emotions, to keep their emotions from going too high and too low, remember? sailing in the Caribbean, meaning they can stay calm in a storm, is sensitive and empathic as a nurturer. These are signs of health in a parent.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And focus on raising my children. But you can call me. I've got this on video. That's legally binding. No, you can have me on speed almost. Yeah, you can as much as you can. So the deal is you don't yell at your children.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, so remember what I said that you can't control everything that happens to your child divorces do happen and adversities happen to children health health issues happen to children what you can control is you can control the first three years and be as present as possible for your child.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, we're preoccupied with what I say the, you know, I don't want to judge, but I want to say the unimportant things in life. What are the important things in life? Connection, health, right? You would say objectively family. These are the important things in life. But we've become very preoccupied with material success, money, career achievement, fame. I think there was a study that interviewed teenagers. And it was really discouraging because they said that the thing they wanted more in life than anything was to be famous. And so we're preoccupied with the wrong things.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“pressure, the competitiveness, the perfectionism. So ADHD is a bucket. It's a bucket which you throw people in who have anxiety that has never been treated. And so, and there's different ways of thinking about treatment too. So we are a society that likes superficial quick fixes. We like drugs, we like CBT therapy. The truth is that this is not a quick fix. Figuring out relationally dynamically what happened to you as a child, what your losses were, what your traumas were, what caused you to feel so anxious, what's caused you to go into fight or flight is hard work. It requires frustration, it requires commitment, it requires going to someone who can think very deeply with you. I want to define What anxiety is because I think it's really important. We rarely define depression and anxiety. Depression is preoccupation with past losses”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They can be. They can be. So what I would say is if you have tried everything to uncover what the stress is that's causing you to react this way, and you still are feeling that way, then sometimes medication can be a lifesaver. The problem is that we turn to medication in adolescents and children and young adults. We turn to it as a performance drug because there's so much stress in modern life and there's such a need for people to perform and be successful in their careers and in school and get good grades. There's so much pressure on kids. So, you know, I'm sixty and we didn't have this kind of pressure growing up. So the generations that follow have so much pressure. That pressure makes children literally go off the rails. We could talk about the academic.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A stimulant. And so, what stimulants do is they can cause great anxiety. They can cause panic attacks in adolescents. They can cause growth issues. So I have patients who come to me, young men who didn't grow because they were put on stimulants when they were young. In terms of the consequences of using stimulants, the jury is still out, but we know that they cause growth issues. They cause panic attacks. They cause anxiety disorders. They cause depression.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I would guarantee almost guarantee they wouldn't say no, because people with ADHD are people who are sensitive. Sensitivity is an amazing strength. If it's met with sensitivity, if you have a sensitive child, so what does a sensitive child look like? If you have multiple children, then you know, because the first thing I'll do when I give a public talk is I'll say, okay, any everybody here, who has a sensitive child and I describe, okay, a sensitive child is a child who cries more is harder to soothe, is more clingy, doesn't like you leaving them, has a harder time separating, has a harder time going to sleep and being left to sleep on their own, is sensitive to things like noise and smells and touch.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, it's not correct. Their brain is sensitive to stress. Someone with ADHD is more sensitive to stress, so you could ask them questions like this. You could say were you more are you a more sensitive person? Are you more sensitive to noise, to smells, to touch when you were a child? Did you not like itchy things? Did you cry more? Were you more sensitive when your parents would go out for the night? Were you more sensitive when your mom would go to work or were you more sensitive when you were left at nursery school? And they're probably going to say yes.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And yeah, there's all kinds of neurological tests now where we can see the brain in action. So it's not a static thing. We can actually see the blood flow to the brain. We can see the electrical activity in the brain. It's amazing, actually.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And present parents in the first year. It neutralized the expression that Jean so those children could be as healthy as children born without that gene. If, however, children born with that sensitivity gene were neglected, you know, abandoned, not provided with sensitive empathic present nurturing, it exacerbated that gene. So we know that that sensitivity gene is tied and correlated to mental illness later on unless the sensitive empathic nurturing mitigates that gene.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now those children who are born with this gene, this short allele on the serotonin receptor gene They are more prone to mental illness later on because of that sensitivity to stress. What the study shows is if those children who are born with that gene for sensitivity are provided with emotionally and physically present attachment security in the first year, it neutralizes the expression of that gene. So epigenetics means that we're born with genes like you might have a gene for rheumatoid arthritis or you might have a gene for cancer, but it never gets expressed. Well, we all have genes for something. But they don't necessarily get expressed. That's what epigenetics is. It means the environment has to turn on the gene to make it, let's rock and roll, right? What it showed in this study is that the children who were born with this genetic precursor, this sensitivity to stress, if they had sensitive empathic nurture.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Meaning there's no genetic connection. You don't get it in your genes if your father or your mother were depressed, you get it by something called the inheritance of acquired characteristics. If you're raised by a depressed parent, you're more likely to become depressed. It's the nature nurture argument, okay? But what they did find was that Now schizophrenia has a genetic connection bipolar disorder, those have genetic, but the rest do not. Anxiety, depression, ADHD, no genetics. What they did find is a genetic tie to something called the sensitivity gene. It's a short allele on the serotonin receptor, and serotonin, as we know, is used to regulate happy emotions, to regulate emotions, right? So when you have a short allele, it means that you have a harder.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Let me tell you a different study that will help you to understand that study. Which is that we know that there is no genetic precursor to mental illness. There is no genetic precursor to ADHD, there is no genetic precursor to depression, and no genetic precursor to anxiety.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Are sensitive about that, then it can be mitigated. But if parents are insensitive about the birth of a second child and the feelings that your first child may have, that can cause stress. Moving can cause stress. Illness or mental illness in a parent can cause stress. Alcoholism, any kind of addiction can cause stress. A grandparent or uncle or aunt or even a parent getting sick and dying can cause stress. I mean, there are so many things that can cause stress, but the point is that stress can be regulated, but it can only be regulated if parents are introspective and self-aware and willing to look at their part in it. If parents hand a child over to a psychiatrist and say fix my child, of course psychiatrists will cooperate with you and silence your child's pain because in the end you're just putting your”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT