YouSaid · the spoken record

Dr. Erica Komisar

lines on the record: 181
first: 2025-03-03
most recent: 2025-03-03
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Well, again, let's start at home. At home, the stresses might be that they were handed over to a daycare center at an early age, which turned that amygdala response on, which turned the stress-regulating part of their brain on too early. Now you have that hypervigilant reaction and they can't turn it off, right? It could be a divorce situation, 50% of couples divorce, which means that divorce is an adversity. You know, I have a book coming out in a year about how to divorce and mitigate the impact of the divorce on the child, but no matter what, a divorce is an adversity on a child and a stress. When parents fight dramatically in the home, if there's tremendous sibling rivalry issues in the home, if there's the birth of another child that's stressful, right? If you have a sibling, believe it or not, that's a very stressful thing.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, that's the inconvenient truth. It's not so simple. Sometimes it's the families. Usually it's the family, particularly with small children. But when children get to school, it could be social, as I said, you know, you can't control whether your children are exposed to social issues or bullying or there's many things that can cause stress in children. But when they're very little, you are their environment. So the inconvenient truth is that when your child gets an EDHD diagnosis, the first thing you should do is go to a therapist who will do parent guidance with you. Don't rush that child to a psychiatrist to medicate them. You go with your partner or spouse and talk to a parent guidance expert about what could be causing this child to feel such stress. And look at the psychosocial stressors. Look at the influences and the dynamics in this child's.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Hugely rising in children in school. A lot of aggression and violence. And so that's what's happening. This is a stress response. And again, instead of asking the right questions, like where is this coming from? What's causing the stress? Instead, we silence the children's pain. We tell parents we'll medicate it and we'll just relieve the symptoms. For me, that's malpractice. The way we treat ADHD is malpractice. A child develops goes into fight or flight when they are under stress. It could be psychosocial stressors at home, in the family, it could be at school, it could be with their friends, it could be a learning disability. There are so many things that can cause kids stress. So instead of medicating them, why don't we figure out what's happening to that child deeply that's causing them to go into fight or flight?”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The stress response is supposed to be short term. It's supposed to be not, it's supposed to be acute rather than chronic. So we can kind of manifest it. We can activate it. But then it's supposed to be turned off by the turnoff switch, the hippocampus. What we're seeing in children's brains is that the amygdala is growing very precociously large and the hippocampus, which is the off switch, is very small. So we have this problem. As we say Houston, we have a problem. We have an on switch going full speed gas no brakes and no off switch and that's causing ADHD, behavioral problems that are”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“ADHD children hypervigilant states of stress. If you stay in a hypervigilant state of stress long enough, you go into a hypo vigilant state of stress which then causes depression. So what we have now are not disorders, so there was a whole movement to take the D off of ADHD because it's not a disorder. It is a stress response. And instead of asking the right questions, which are, okay, what's causing the stress? How do we make sure that our children are not exposed to this kind of stress because they're going into fight or flight? So the nervous system, as you said, the brain has an on switch and an off switch. The on switch to stress is the amygdala, the hippocampus is the off switch. And you'd say the stress response is in a negative feedback loop. It's actually important. Like in other words, if a sable toothed tiger is chasing you, very important that you can activate, right? Run or fight.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The problem is then it shrivels up and burns out also because it cannot manage that kind of stress so early when it ceases to be functional it ceases to be functional for a lifetime. And so it's very important to protect, you know, what's the expression, the family jewels. These are the family jewels in the brain of a baby. This is the jewel, the amygdala. You want to keep the stress to an absolute minimum in the first year, which is why sleep training is dangerous. It's why letting babies cry it out. It's why putting babies into daycare. It's why leaving babies for hours on end when they're so very fragile is so bad for their brains because it gets the cord is all flowing, which is the stress hormone, but it makes this part of the brain very active so it grows, grows, grows, and then”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What we know is that part of the brain is supposed to remain offline. For the first year to three years, which is why mothers wear babies on their bodies. It's why babies stay close to their mothers in the first three years. To keep the amygdala quiet and only incrementally, incrementally exposed children to stress and frustration that they can manage. So imagine taking small bites of it so you can digest it. And your mother's there to help you digest the stress. What we're doing now by separating mothers and babies, by putting babies into daycare with strangers, is by sleep training babies, all these weird things that we're doing to babies is we're turning the amygdala on. What happens when the amygdala is active? too early is it becomes very active and very large very quickly.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Or preschool, or even in school, or they become distracted, which is the flight part of fight or flight. So what's happening is their nervous systems, the stress regulating part of their brain, is getting turned on. So we say that the stress-regulating part of their brain has to do with a little almond shaped part of the brain called the amygdala. It's a very primitive part of the brain, very old part of the brain. And it regulates stress throughout our lives. It helps us to manage it.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, so well it's basically our evolutionary response to predatorial threat. So if a sable toothed tiger was chasing you, You either stood and fought or you ran for your life flight. So when our children are under stress, they go into fight or flight. So one of the first signs that a child is under stress that they cannot manage is when they become aggressive in school, they hit, they bite, they throw chairs, they have trouble, you know, socially in their”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So ADHD was one of the factors that drove me to right being there because I was seeing this huge uptick in ADHD diagnosis and children being medicated so early. Do you know what the fight or flight reaction is?”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That school of thought. What I do recommend is if your child shows promise in something, that they also seem to love and have a drive to be good at, then you can support that drive. Just make sure to keep yourself in check along the way to make sure that they are driving it not you. Yeah, okay”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Least one of those parents, and I don't know the history of the others, was abusive. And so you could say that narcissism is abusive to children. When we project our needs and desires and likes and who we are onto our children, we're not letting them authentically be themselves the greatest gift you can give your child is to see your child as an authentic individual who is an individual and themselves, and not to see them as a mini me. When you start architecting their life, there's a good chance you're going to lose that child emotionally at some point. They're either going to hate you. They may be successful in their careers. They may have terrible personal lives. They may be narcissistic parents themselves. So I don't recommend.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, so I'm going to say right now, I don't recommend that as a professional. I'm just saying. So I can't comment on a lot of those people because I could get in a lot of trouble for commenting on a lot of those people. But I will say that amongst those people, there Is controversy meaning”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Soccer in the park and go play tennis. How can I say how people are going to use their paid leave? But if your paid leave is being used to be home with your child, then it's going to benefit your child.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“While the research shows the longitudinal attachment research shows that children who are insecurely attached at twelve months of age, twenty years later, are insecurely eighty percent of them are insecurely attached and suffer from mental disorders. That's what the longitudinal attachment research says. So we now have decades of basically children were followed from when they were infants, and the ones who were securely attached 20 years later are still securely attached and doing great, and the ones who were insecurely attached, most still insecurely attached, and it's tied and correlated to all of these mental illness conditions, right? So there's a lot of research to show what attachment security does for children in the long run. You're asking a question about, I mean, I suppose you could take your paid leave and go play.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This is the country we live in again. I'm a realist. I think in any way that we can give families the choice to care for their own children, particularly in the early years, we will create a population of healthier children.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The men work a year too longer in my life. Wouldn't you say that most women who wanted to stay home with their babies would say I'll work longer so I can stay home with my baby? There are ways to creatively deal with it. From my perspective, this is what's going on. People on the left will not compromise. They'll only do an entitlement called Paid Lee, but they only are asking for it for three to six months. After that, they want women back in the workforce and institutional daycare. So I'm not on the left. People on the right talk a lot about family. They're the party of the family now, but they do not want tax dollars to go into paid leave. They don't like the entitlements that already exist and they don't want to add anymore. And so the only way they're going to give it to women and men is if they put skin in the game.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then the next two years some way that parents could be complemented so they could work part-time, supplemented so they could work part-time. I'm a reasonable, realistic person. I know this country is never going to go for three years of pay leave, even though I would love them to. I also know that this country isn't going to go for an entitlement called pay leave because that's the kind of country we are. We talk a big game, but we don't want to put our money where our mouth is. There is the possibility now that the Republicans are in. of a creative solution, which is potentially using things like social security in advance, borrowing from your social security. So I'm a mom. And I say ah, to stay home I can borrow from my social security for a year.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Nobody cares about children. They care about the GDP and the bottom line and the people who are out there talking about this stuff are economists saying women have to work, work, work for the economy. Nobody cares about children because if we cared about children, our tax money would be In paid leave not for three months, not for six months, for at least a year in Hungary they have three years, Slovenia, Slovakia, Estonia has three years, Hungary I think has two years of paid leave. Sweden, I have some issues with Sweden, but Sweden has fourteen months. Sweden, after 14 months, makes women go back to work full, full, full-time and put them in institutional care, and all those babies are breaking down. So 14 months isn't even enough. If we could even get to a civilized place of one year of paid leave in this country.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, it's not the mothers in the projects in Harlem, because I'll tell you, the mothers in the projects in Harlem stay home with their babies. That's what's interesting. Very poor people in America. So let me just say, I love America, America sucks. And I'll tell you why America sucks from my perspective. And I say this internationally. I go around the world saying America sucks and I'm going to tell you why. We are the only country in the world other than Papua New Guinea who does not have a paid parental maternity leave. We do not have paid maternity leave.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, and that's what's happening to humans today. If we don't lick and groom our babies, I mean, you know, take it for whatever. If we don't lick and groom our babies, we don't pass on resilience to stress and adversity, but we also don't pass on the desire to lick and groom, to have babies.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I mean, there are other studies which are more recent than that. That's quite an old study. There is a researcher named Michael Meany. He did a study on licking and grooming. Animals who lick and groom their young, meaning are nurturing skin-to-skin lick and groom in human terms that would be holding, touching, loving, skin to skin. If a mother lichten groomed her young, That baby would become more resilient to stress in the future. The babies who were not licked and groom by their mothers became less resilient to stress in the future. In addition, the babies who were more resilient to stress because their mothers had licked and groomed them passed down generationally the ability to lick and groom the next generation. What happened to the babies who weren't licked and groomed, guess what happened?”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They took these baby recess monkeys and they let some be with the mothers and the mothers nurtured those babies and those babies became healthily attached and secure and those were the healthy, emotionally healthy babies. Then they gave another subset of monkeys a wire mother covered with a piece of cloth or fur or something and those babies became very neurotic, but at least they were clinging. They became like the ambivalent attachment babies because there was no response from the mother, but at least they were holding on to this mother. And then they gave and these babies became very neurotic. And then they gave the subset of babies nothing. And those babies literally lost their minds.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“critical because fathers seduce the older child. They say, come on, let's go out and play, let's go kick the soccer ball, let's go to the swing set, and they give a space to the mother with the next baby. They help the older children to grow up.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The mother, usually the mother. Sometimes it's the father, but usually the mother. Fathers with their playful tactile stimulation, they become really important when children become mobile. When children start to crawl and toddle when they're around eighteen months to two years old, fathers become incredibly exciting, and they're really important. So when fathers aren't around in those days, when children are starting to explore the world, those children have a harder time separating from mothers. So it's really important to have what we say the yin and the yang. What we're doing now is we are not prioritizing attachment security, which is the foundation for then healthy separation. And when healthy separation starts, fathers are critical. When you have another child, a second child.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They have to be there in a different way, and In the early days men don't breastfeed, so that's the first thing, unless you can show me a man who has grown breasts and can actually breastfeed, maybe it's coming, I don't know. But for now, women's bodies connect them to their babies. They connect them through birth, they connect them through breastfeeding. There is a physical component and a hormonal component to infancy and motherhood. And there really is a difference in the way that mothers respond to babies and fathers respond to babies. Now, when do fathers become really important? It's not that the father isn't important to give the mother a break or to bond with the baby or to bathe the baby, but what that baby needs is that attachment security to that primary attachment figure.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We had an agreement, my husband and I, which is it would be just enough to pay a mother's helper a nanny. And so we did without in those years we did without vacations, we did without second homes, we did without fancy clothes, we did without. The other things that many of our peers were getting and traveling and doing, we said what's important to us is that we pare down, not expand now. We're expanding as parents. So we want to pare down materially. Life is long, and you can have a successful career. Some of the women that I interview for my book are women who didn't even start their careers until they were in their forties after they had children that were older.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, I'm a good example. I had a career when I was in my 20s and I got married when I was I met my husband when I was 27, and I got married when I was just shy of thirty or I was 30. And then we had children in our thirties. So before we had children, I was working, I was seeing something like 40 hours of patients a week. And I was working into the wee hours of the night. I would work till 11 o'clock at night, coming home exhausted. Then we had children, but it was an agreement that we had that when we had babies, I would take a good long period off and then really go back very, very, very minimally. And I had the kind of career by choice that I could have control over and it could be flexible and I could control it. And so I took six months off with each child and then after six months only went back to work an hour and a half a day, five days a week.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“create that emotional security for your children that will be the core of them. You know, we talk a lot about your physical core and core training. This is your emotional core. This is the emotional core of human beings. Attachment, security, and a feeling of safety that you can rely on the people who you need most in the world to be there when you need them. That is your emotional core.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The stress that young adults face because they're trying to, you know, we should talk about some of the other myths. What's another myth? We'll weave it through this talk. Another myth is you can do everything all at the same time and do it well. Myth. That's a big myth. You can't have a fabulous career working full time and traveling and being fabulous and raise healthy children. The good news is life is long. You may live till one hundred and twenty like Moses, and I think of your generation, you're younger than me, but I think you probably will live well over a hundred. And so what that means is you have many, many, many, many, many, many years to have a fabulous career when your children don't need you so much, but you have a very small.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I find that disturbing, saying freeze your eggs, work really hard for us. Yeah, you can have children later. And the truth is a lot of them can't. Because when you freeze eggs, it's not a guarantee of fertility. It's not a guarantee that those eggs will turn into embryos. It's not a guarantee that those embryos will turn into babies. So there's the age, piece. There is also, and there's the environmental piece, there is also the stress piece, which we are not talking about. There's a component to getting pregnant that is about stress. We have more stress on both men and women. You know, it used to be that men died sooner because they had more stress, but now I think it's evened out the odds. I think women may die sooner because they have the stress of working and raising children for the most part. But the point is that”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There are a lot of theories, some are environmental, some are the fact that we're delaying having children. We're lying to women and to men. We're telling them freeze your eggs. In fact, this is a little disturbing. I'll tell you about this, that law firms now are paying for the freezing of their young female associates' eggs.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Before you bring them into this world so you can repair whatever it is you need to repair and not create what we call generational expression of things like attachment disorders and mental illness.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Not sure I completely buy this fully, but Jordan Peterson, I think, has said, I think it was Jordan who said that you can't fully become an adult if you don't have a child. Now, I'm not sure I would go that far because there are some people who can have children, but I do think that there is something in terms of developmentally on an adult development level that transforms you, that is meant to transform you in being generative and having children. Again, it's not for everyone, and I do say this, that I'm not part of the pro-natality movement where I say everybody should have children. I don't think everybody should have children. But I do think that if you're going to have children, then you need to look deeply at your own upbringing and your own losses and your own early traumas.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's different, and why is it different? It's a good question. It's different because in the end your relationship with your partner or with your auntie or with your dog isn't the same level of dependency. The ability to care for another human being to allow another human being to be dependent on you, to devote to that human being is a growing, transforming experience for human beings. One would say that”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like they used to, they're having three children or two children, right? The alarming thing for me is that people are not having children. That's more alarming to me because that's more a sign not of a country developing, but of a country and a society, of a modern society which does not see the value in raising children and having deep and loving relationships be a priority in your life.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It is that have a lot of money. It is. So I speak at a big conference called The Alliance for Responsible Citizenship and they talk about a lot of these alarming dropping birth rates. The truth is though that as countries become more developed, birth rates do decline to a certain degree. That has to do with economics, some of it. But there is a trend that's happening that's worse than this, which is people, it's not that they're having less children, which actually, you know, everybody has their own limits in terms of their capacity to give and to love. And so for some people, maybe one child is enough. For other people, five children isn't enough, meaning they have so much inside of them to give, right? But the alarming thing for me isn't the dropping birth rates due to economics.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, it's a good question. Well, there's something in the developing world called maternal depletion syndrome, which is that mothers can actually die in the developing world of having too many children in too short a period of time. They get depleted physically, but they also get depleted emotionally. I'm going to say it right now so everybody can hear it who's watching this. Having children is stressful. It is frustrating. It does require that you are sleepless for the first five years. It requires that you can tolerate a lot of discomfort and frustration. So if there was a job description, first it would say the most joyful, enriching thing you can do in your entire life. But what comes with that to foster healthy development is frustration, lack of sleep, stress, discomfort. And so that should be part of... Of the job description.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's disorganized. Yeah. They have a very hard time forming relationships, holding on to relationships Yeah, I would say it's they're the most complicated to treat, and they're also the most complicated in terms of, you know, being able to have successful relationships in the future.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“How will secure attachment will have a successful, I mean, people with secure attachment will be drawn to healthy, reciprocal, loving, deep connections because they've had a deep and loving connection with their mother. So remember I said that it's only after three years of age that you internalize the feeling of security. And where you internalize the feeling that the world is a safe place and you can trust the people in it and you can trust to love another person. And so, you know, we throw that word trust around, but we don't realize that it comes from the very beginnings of our development. When we don't trust others, it's generally because we couldn't trust those that we were to depend upon when we were at our most vulnerable stage.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“People because there's no conflict there. So, in other words, someone who can't commit with someone also who can't commit, that can break down those. At some point, so remember that these are pathological defenses. So, you know, we use the word defense because it means to protect one, right? And defenses help us until they no longer help us. And so we say attachment disorders are pathological defenses, meaning they don't usually last a lifetime. They break down at some point. And so you might be with another avoid an attachment disordered person, but at some point one of you breaks down and then realizes that you need the other. And then, you know, then you're with in a relationship with someone who can't give back. As we say like levels of water meet, so people will be attracted to one another often of the same.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, secures well if you're healthy you're attracted to reciprocally healthy relationships and you trust your environment so you trust in loving relationships and avoidance sometimes are attracted to avoidance”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So an avoidant attachment disorder would be someone who can't form meaningful and deep. Connections can't commit has difficulty committing, has difficulty trusting in the intimacy and the depth of intimacy in a relationship. An ambivalent attachment disorder would be someone who's highly, highly anxious, someone who clings to you, calls you maybe a woman you dated in the past who called you five times a day to check on you and was worried that you'd be the little fish that swam away and suffocate. They suffocate the people they love because they're afraid to let go. Disorganized attachment, borderline personality disorders, they tend to be very emotionally volatile. There's a lot of anger there and there's a lot of self-harm, self-harming behavior there.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Kissed off Yes, I suppose I am. I'm not pissed off at the people. I'm pissed off at a society that is lying or not really educating or telling parents the truth.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So the baby cycles through many strategies. The baby will go from clinging to avoiding to being enraged and even slapping or hitting the mother and then cycling through again. And that baby that develops a disorganized attachment disorder, those babies, it's correlated later with borderline personality disorder. And we're seeing a huge rise in borderline personality disorders. And those are the kids who are cutting themselves, who are trying to commit suicide. We have a mental illness crisis, the likes of which we've never seen in history, and it has everything to do with how we're raising our children.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The disorganized detachment disorder is different than the other two in that the other two have a strategy. So think of an attachment disorder as a strategy, a child who's left for too many hours by their parent, or whose parent is physically present but emotionally checked out. That baby has to cope, has to have a strategy, turning away from the mother is a strategy, and the internal narrative is my mommy isn't present for me, isn't here for me, won't be there for me. I can't trust my environment. And that baby says, and I'm going to have to cope on my own. What we call learned helplessness. That baby is the strategy is, you know, I'm going to hold on because if I don't hold on, she's going to leave again. Disorganized attachment disorder is the hardest to treat because the baby has no strategy.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The next kind of attachment disorder is called an ambivalent attachment disorder, and the mother then comes home and the baby clings to the mother for dear life because the internal voice in that baby is my mommy's going to leave me again. So I have to hold on to her. Now that baby is fractious and can't be soothed and will not let go of that mother, you know, holding on for dear life. What I call like the recess monkeys did to the wire cages, right? And that's correlated later on with anxiety in youth.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“At ages when babies really can't tolerate that kind of separation. When a parent comes, when the primary attachment figure, usually the mother comes home and the baby turns away from you and turns toward the babysitter or just turns away. That baby has the beginning of what's called an avoidant attachment disorder. Now that's correlated later on with things like depression and difficulty forming attachments later on.”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“attachment disorder so what does that mean so a healthy attachment looks like this When you return home, your child feels so securely attached to you, meaning you've gone out for an hour or two for dinner with your spouse. You come home and your baby is happy to see you and the reunion what we call the reunion is a beautiful reunion. The baby is joyful and happy and you know that's healthy attachment. It means that you've made your baby feel so safe and secure because you are there primarily and have prioritized them the majority of the time as the primary attachment figure that when you come home your baby welcomes it what we're seeing is more and more children developing attachment disorders because their parents are pushing the limits of how much they can leave those babies and putting them in things like institutional care and leaving them for long hours at a time and traveling for their fabulous careers than their fabulous lives”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that would be fine. And so there are a lot of people that are saying today, I don't see the value in being responsible for another human being and what they're missing out on is the deep and rewarding emotional connection to your children. It's a love like no other love. But if you've had If you've had trauma as a child, if you've had parents who were narcissistic or resented parenting or were distracted or mentally ill, you may already have had that trauma that implies that later it's harder to connect, right? So those attachment disorders that I was referring to earlier, there's three kinds of attachment disorders. There's the avoidant”
2025-03-03 · The Diary of a CEO · Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT