YouSaid · the spoken record

James Smith

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129
first
2022-09-01
most recent
2022-09-01
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1
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podcast

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  1. “I foolishly for a long time used to say that I was fortunate that I'd never struggled with mental health problems. And in some respects, that's true because there is a bit of a throw of the dice with how our baselines of certain hormones, whatever in this trauma that can occur in people's lives. But a friend of mine who suffered with depression quite heavily, he said to me, you are not aware of your habits that protect your mental health. And you need to go away and think about the things you're doing to actually uphold this because The way I see mental health now, and this could be quite controversial, is like a table, like the one in front of us with many legs. And the legs can be completely subjective. Am I going outside enough? Am I family relationships good enough? How's my professional life? How's my bank account? Whatever it is. And you can kick away one of the legs and you'll be okay. But people, if they don't realize that legs from their table are disappearing, it only takes that one final kick before it topples over. For me being comfortable not working too hard, not traveling too much.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. “Mental or cognitive ability thinking about What's missing? I don't think that's a productive way to use cognitive effort.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. “If it does come. And even if I don't get residency in Australia, I kind of relish the challenge of what I would have to do to then get it again. So all of the things that are lacking for my life also seem like little challenges that I'm excited for. But honestly, I know a lot of people have a facade for happiness. I'm progressing in everything that I'm doing. And as I said before, even on the back burner, I love jiu-jitsu competing a bit at the moment. I teach classes on a Friday evening. I have that. And so much of my values does revolve around my work, the book doing well, my professional life. But then also at the back burner, I've always said this, that I could just get a dog, open a little jiu-jitsu dojo with my savings, put it near the beach somewhere, hopefully in Australia. And I could just teach people jujitsu for the rest of my life. And I look at that and I go, on some days, that's better than my existing life, you know? So it's one of those things where I don't really dwell or use any.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. “Haven't thought about this at all. I don't really look at my life and go, What's missing? And even some things, like I said, oh, you know, a permanent visa for Australia. But I quite like the fact it's not happened yet. I'm looking forward to it.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. “There are people out there that are going to dislike me, but I can't worry too much about that because they're never going to benefit my net equation. They're never going to come to a talk or buy a book or anything like that. So audaciousness is like a... Essential element for progress in this, but you need to be armed with understanding that you're going to be haters, that there are going to be people that are going to not like what you say or what you do. There's quite literally no one out there that doesn't get criticized for something. So audaciousness does have that dark side to it. For people, again, being audacious with your endeavor. What if it's the worst thing you ever do? Then again, what if it's the best thing you ever do?”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. “Behind anyone's level of success, there was an audacious endeavor at the beginning, whether it was to do a podcast, whether it was to start a business, whatever it was. And I think that that's, again, something that's not fully bred into people. You know, someone has an idea, go put that idea out there. Be audacious with it. Don't be afraid to be wrong. Don't be afraid of critics. And ultimately for me, something that I kind of understood was there are going to be a lot of people that are never going to be interested in what you're doing and they're never going to be interested in a book that I release or whatever. I can't take their criticisms to heart and fully understanding that”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. “I'd lot of opinions in the fitness industry, but by airing them you open yourself up to a lot of criticism. You open yourself up to hatred. Five years ago, I don't think anyone buyer a couple of Mike's girlfriends hated me. No one. Now there are thousands. Thousands of people. Because you have to be audacious, you have to put your head above the parapet to really put yourself forward, even as we said before with this podcast. You had to be audacious one day as someone who'd never done a podcast to go, we're going to do a podcast in here. And you had to sit there and believe for a second we're going to make this, the UK's leading podcast. And in some respects,”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. “It doesn't have to be a lie as it could be even just a change in narrative. So I remember so many times throughout my life, just before I was about to go on a date with a stranger, which I found incredibly daunting. It's one of the reasons I drank on dates for the first 25 years of my life. But that voice in your head, you don't have to lie to yourself, but the voice in your head goes, what if this the worst date I'll ever go on? But all you need to do is change that to say, what if this is the best date I'll ever go on? That's all I'm saying. And that is a change in expectations. It's a different change in thought. It's a different perspective on your reality that's upcoming. I don't think we should ever lie to ourselves, but we should at least turn the dial towards optimism because we are inherently pessimistic with our biases.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. “Report disappearing. So although we can't say, I just pretend you're going to be confident, pretend all of this, in the same sense, we do need to instill a level of belief in ourselves that we are able to accomplish stuff. And if we try and falsify that optimism and it doesn't work out, we create another building block to step on. And behind everyone who's an expert in anything, there is a level of mastery. Failure is put in such a negative light in society, but failure is the most cases the pathway to development. So even if we do, you know, point the dial towards optimism, if things don't go right, that's fine. We're allowed to be wrong. We're allowed to make mistakes. You're allowed to try that endeavor that you want and for it's all fuck up.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. “So fake it till you make it. I don't particularly like that terminology in the book I write about it because What's your metric of success in that to fake it until you get recognition for something? I think with that and with the book and with expectations, you've got manifestation and the placebo effect. And they're intertwined, but they're both separate. So manifestation, I think, is a very dangerous thing where people think, oh, I'm just going to think about success. I'm going to meditate about success. I'm going to get it. But then things like the placebo effect is also a powerful thing, sham surgeries that were performed on people. They would be cut open. They would do nothing. They'd stitch them back up and up to 50% of people reported feeling better. That's crazy when people take, or 30% of people that took the vaccine in the trials that were given the no vaccine felt ill afterwards because they thought they were going to feel ill. I've seen as well, I didn't put this one in the books. I couldn't find the study, the size of the pill you take as a painkiller even with placebos can impact the levels of pain that people”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. “Schools don't teach confidence, society doesn't really breed confidence because although on one hand confidence is essential for innovation, if we don't have confident people, you know, Elon Musk, he was confident enough to say that rocket, we could land it back on Earth. You're crazy. Society doesn't care if you're confident or not. Society doesn't care if you talk to that person or not. Society doesn't care if you get a pay rise. No one in the world is going to come along and care about your levels of confidence. It's something we need to do ourselves.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. “A group of people, I can't remember how big the study was, but they lied to them and said, this group have got a gene that is going to hinder their turnover of oxygen, and this group over here doesn't. They got them to perform fitness tests. And the people that were told they had this gene mutation performed a lot better. And the other people didn't. And even just being primed with a lie completely changed their output in a fitness test.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. “We answer, oh, do you know what? I did all right in the last one, it got a lot of downloads, so it is one of those things that is in so many different spectrums and it has so many different meanings. But a lot of it points towards predicting success and things. And even if you don't have the evidence to predict success, we should be able to be wrong. There's something I want to accomplish. I can't let my mind and my thoughts take over. I must in some sense be overconfident and predictable. Every single default to being this isn't going to work because You don't think something's going to work, you've already tripped at the first hurdle. And there's a guy David Robson written a book called The Expectation Effect. And in that book, they...”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. “So confidence, so when I start writing the book, I wasn't sat there like, I know everything about confidence. So I was sat there going, I couldn't answer. If you were to say, James, what is confidence? When I start writing it, I go, I don't know. So that's why I was so excited about writing it. But one of the interesting kind of ways that I wrote about it in one of the points was if you imagine confidence on a spectrum with anxiety on one end and confidence on the other, anxiety is predicting failure and confidence is predicting success. That is a really important thing to think about because our expectations massively influence the outcome of things. And like you say there, if people just go into a room and go, I'm, you know, I'm amazing, I'm whatever. It's not really going to work. Even as one of your previous guests said about interrogative self-talk, asking yourself questions is a more positive thing. Instead of saying, I can do this podcast today and do well, I ask myself, can you do well in this podcast?”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. “Which you can go. And you've tweeted and mentioned this before. You saying nothing is still saying something, doing nothing is still doing something. And they also say, whatever you're not changing, you're choosing. And these are really important because that person, and again, same analogy, whatever it is, when you're at that place of feeling that you don't have enough confidence, it's actually a crossroads. It's a left and a right. It's a dichotomy of action and inaction. And if you are controlled by fear and you don't muster the courage to do what you need to do, especially by using the pain points to motivate yourself, you are choosing an action. By doing nothing that is a choice. And people just seem to think that, you know, not starting the passion project, not posting or expressing something on social media, they seem to think if they do nothing that it's a void in our reality, but it's not.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. “I'm not sure to answer your question, but one of the things I would say to that person is, And I'm only using this as an example. I think dating is an analogy I love to use. I actually use it when I talk about business talks. I say marketing is like dating. We won't get down that too much, but you look at the person at the bar, you feel the fear rather than counting down from five, five, four, three to one. Oh my God, I've got the confidence. Let me go talk to them. They could instead just a flash of a moment, just think to themselves. I'm lonely. I don't want to be lonely. What out of these two things is more uncomfortable for me? The idea of going another week, another month being single, or the idea of talking to a stranger. And surely when you add and level those two things up, the pain point of being lonely should be much worse than the pain point of talking to a stranger. If you feel undervalued at work, the idea of talking to your boss and expressing how you feel, that's a pain point. That's going to make me feel uncomfortable. But then the pain point of feeling undervalued and not being given the bonus you were promised a year ago. You level them up and you're like, there's always two directions.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. “The day that you're getting out of bed and you feel like shit and you're tired and you want to give up, I want to be toned isn't going to do it. The fact that your real pain point is that you're lonely and you're getting older and you're worrying about the fact you might not find a compatible companion ever, that is a strong enough pain point for you to change. Being more toned isn't.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. “So we could look at this in the form of sales as well. So I cannot sell to someone who understand their pain points and I use an analogy that probably is the one I've had most experience with, with people in the gym, they come, they sit down. Hi, James, I want to get fitter. I want to lose a bit of weight. I want to tone up. And I'm like, that's not really what you want. That's not a pain point. That is a knee-jerk reaction to what you think I want to hear. When you delve a bit deeper, they go, my husband stopped fucking me. You know, every time I stand up in a meeting, I've got to pull my top down over the layers of flab that I have. I don't feel confident in areas of my life that I should because I'm so crippled by the confidence I have with my physique. I'm not taken seriously. The pain points are deep. And people need to draw on those because...”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. “who they are, they're being who they need to be. And I feel I resonate with that side of him where, as I'm sure you realize on social media, some very much like, listen, mate, you know, do this, color deficit, you know, fuck off, all of that. But really, I'm not like that. I portray the person I need to be. It's one of those things where a lot of the time people need to appreciate that maybe everyone around them is fearful of everything like you, but they're more focused about being who they need to be, not worrying about who they are.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. “People that aren't confident to do things, they need to find something they have the level of courage to do and get to that point. And for instance, that's something I don't need to work on. And as I'm in a relationship, I probably shouldn't be working on this either. But if I am petrified of talking to a girl or a guy for any women, this thing, or either either, for whoever's this thing, maybe I don't have the courage to ask for the number, but I might have the courage to go say hello or to compliment them or to, you know, do something chivalrous. And if people can then do that, then maybe from there they can move on. And I think it is one of those things where everyone has like a gaping hole in their confidence. And for living, it's an interesting one. At first, I was actually very anti him because he is obnoxious. He actually has a very similar approach to what I do, like in your face. This is what I believe in. If you don't believe in it, that's cool. But I can sometimes look at him and appreciate that a lot of people are not being.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. “No, I don't think so. And that's kind of the important thing. I don't think it's like a trauma that we need to hold dearly to ourselves. But like you say, so for instance, if you were to say James says 3,000 people out there, I need you to perform a talk with no preparation. I'd be like, cool. But if you would say, hey, there's a girl at the bar and need you to go approach her on a Friday night and try and get a number, that would be like, that's scary to me. So it's kind of like double standards. Like you say, some situations, everyone has a certain lacking type of confidence, even the most confident of people. And that could be because when I was 12, the first girl I asked out said no, it could be that. Or it could be because I've done more talks. And I think that at the root core of everything is...”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. “I made any money from it. Things aren't so much scary or to be feared. It's how you look at those things in front of you that really kind of break down the fear. Because we're all capable of doing things, but we like to almost push things further away than we can reach so that it gives us a reason not to do it.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. “It's an interesting one, even with dating, with professional life. Some of them I feel like I kind of got lucky. I'm not a massive believer in luck. And I kind of tripped over some of the steps to becoming confident. And even working in door-to-door sales, where working for NPower in Gloucester, knocking on hundreds of doors a day, it allowed me to perceive issues in front of me as a numbers game and then add the average of knocking on 100 doors to make a sale. Suddenly things didn't seem so daunting and people go, oh, you'd need to be really confident to knock on doors for a living. I was like, well, not so much. If you appreciate there's a certain amount of times you need to do something before you experience success, it's not so scary. Email marketing. I knew email marketing would work. I sent emails every day for 10 months. No one bought. 10 months someone bought finally. So it was an appreciation of the numbers. Social media, four and a half years I posted near about every day before.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. “Everything body image, which is why I ended up going down the first huge 10 years of my life with not a diet book, I was overweight as a kid. Even now, I constantly have these battles in my head through how should I look, what should I be doing? Shall I be dieting? And I think that's why a lot of people resonate with what I say. Because a lot of what I say to them is also for myself. You know, I say to people, I know this is how you're feeling because that's how I feel myself.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. “And they think other people are confident as if it's a trait like Hait or people said it's a superpower. But straight away, I actually typed that in the first part of the book. I was like, confidence is a superpower. But then superpowers aren't accomplishable by mortals. It's almost something out of your reach. And I'm a big believer that confidence can be within people's reach. And even chatting to people in the same profession, they have a problem or a fear of judgment, of whatever it is. If I spend five minutes with that person, I can motivate them to post on social media, to prospect more with their business, whatever it is. And I realized it's not something people are lacking. It's more so the way they perceive and view their reality.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. “And kind of by the end of it, through my own journeys, I was like, I could teach people about this. And I didn't want to write a diet book system. I was like, you know, break down everything, put it into a book. Then the second book offer, I was like, I can't do another one. If I'd written a second book about fitness, it would have said a lot about the first. And people do sequels things. I'm like, oh, you must have done a great job. And I kind of realized by accident that my work-life balance was pretty good and wrote the second book. A lot of the things we spoke about in that last podcast were based off not a life coach. Now, the kind of strange thing that I say to people is I'm not a very confident person. I have the same insecurities, the same fears, the same feelings of inadequacies as the majority of people. But I kind of have a set of values and a way that I see these problems where I can break them down and dismantle them. And in the book, in the first chapter, I say a lot of people sit.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. “Well, it's kind of interesting that through my entire career I've learned something personally and then I've taught other people kind of the processes. So the first book, not a diet book, I went through years of fitness industry bullshit that we spoke about before.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. “I constantly have these batteries in my head. Why did I create this fast? Why did I have sweatpatches from such a simple interaction of being uncomfortable? At the same insecurities, the same fears, feelings of inadequacies. Sometimes my biggest fear is. Losing is not the same as being defeated. You have to be audacious. You have to put your head above the parapet. I'm sure I'm going to be absolutely slammed for saying this”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. “Self esteem and confidence is decaying when you're at that place of feeling that you don't have enough confidence, it's actually a crossroads, it's a left and a right action and inaction. Whatever you're not changing, you're choosing. Dating is such a big topic because people either don't have the confidence required to meet someone or they might not have the confidence to leave someone. We're allowed to be ignorant with these things and we're allowed to be wrong. That doesn't mean we shouldn't endeavour to get the best possible outcome.”

    2022-09-01 · The Diary of a CEO · James Smith: Become Confident In 100 Minutes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT