YouSaid · the spoken record

Jay Shetty

lines on the record: 150
first: 2023-01-30
most recent: 2023-01-30
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Did something different to last time, and an evolved version where there was even more vulnerability from me because of our relationship And I think that I hope everyone who's listening receives that in that I was that open because I was with you and there was someone that I feel trusted by to also feel someone that I feel understands me even though we haven't spent the time together understands me in a different way and sees me and hears me differently and so I can allow myself to be that vulnerable”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Stephen, thank you so much, man. And I do want to say this, and I do mean it, and I message you, can't remember maybe it was a week ago or whatever, and I said to you, like, let's just have the conversation that we can have. Like, I don't need you to, you know, I don't want to have a conversation that ever with you or with anyone, but especially with someone that I know and I feel comfortable with. And I had no idea where today was going to go. And I honestly like these are probably things we would have talked about if there weren't microphones. And so I think that, and I do feel, I definitely feel like I was because of our relationship and our relationship is weird too, but in the sense of how open I do feel with you sometimes. But I would say that in my eyes, I feel.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I really believe in the greatness and the genuineness of humanity. Like I believe it's there. I believe that that spark exists within each and every single person who's listening. And I believe that it fully is who we truly are deepest in our spirit. That's who we are. I just want to be able to Help people uncover that part of themselves. I'm here because I've seen it and I'm here because I've experienced it. I'm here because I've lived with it. And so, even if I don't have it, That capacity, I know it exists, and I would like other people to have access to it. And so that's why I'm here today. That's a brilliant question. Well done, Rhea. Or whoever it is, or Cristiana Ronaldo, if you did that one, I would flip out. Former Manchester now, yeah.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because I feel I feel that that's the biggest lack in the world today, that the reason why we struggle with living these ideas is because we don't have enough role models that live these. Don't have people that we could point to in our immediate. Accessible life that we would say are boundlessly compassionate or that we would say are extremely empathetic or that we would say are genuinely humble to the core. Like that's so rare. And I think if I hadn't experienced it, I wouldn't believe it was possible to achieve it and to access it and for us to see the benefits of it. But because I got to do that at eighteen and continue to do so now when I spend time with those individuals.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'd have to say I'd have to say it's getting to The monks because, and I was 18 when I first met a monk, which I talk about in Dinglagamk, and I just don't think I've ever visibly experienced or emotionally experienced humility and compassion. Like I say these words. and we use them as a society. And I think there's very few people in the world that you could actually say display boundless compassion. Extreme humility. sincere empathy. And I'm really lucky because I saw that all in real life. Like I've seen it.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, exactly. Take all of that energy, think about what you could achieve creatively if you used all that energy used to pursue another person, if you use that energy to create. Because it's creative energy. So to me, celibacy was far more about I got to use three years of creative energy in doing a lot of self-work that I otherwise could have taken years to do because of so many distractions and pursuits that kind of Spread that energy across.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We've had sex with someone for a long time because that's completely rewiring how we feel about them. So that's one way of looking at it. And the other way I'd say, even going even more extreme, is being celibate as a monk allowed me to redirect all that energy. And the word for monk in the tradition I stayed in is Brahmacharya or Brahmachari. And what that means technically is proper use of that energy. So celibacy is not a repression or a suppression or a closing off. It's reutilizing that vital energy in a different direction. If you think about how much money, time and energy you've spent chasing someone that you liked, the amount of time in your head, the amount of time on your phone, text messages, dating apps, the amount of money you spent, I would have been so rich if I never took anyone out on a date before 21.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So committing with the new person that you're dating to not make sex a connection point. So one of my good friends did this recently as well and he found that it gave him the ability to make better decisions as to whether there was real intimacy, whether there was real connection, and whether there was something real here that could be built upon with sex as opposed to, God, I'm just so attracted to her and she's so attracted to me and we just have the best sex ever or we don't. And then that's what it's all hanging on. And so I actually would go down that route and say that celibacy doesn't have to be practiced how I practiced it as a monk. Celibacy can be practiced in small doses, not because you're trying to be celibate and you're trying to repress yourself. That's not what I'm encouraging. What I'm encouraging is why not use it as a way of making healthier decisions? Because studies show we don't make good decisions after we have sex. And studies show that we don't make good decisions.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It was one of the hardest and best things, though, because. One of the things we don't realize, and I want to address this, and celibacy is a really interesting thing to address. I would love to see more people, and this may be not a popular concept and I'm good with that, I would love to see more people date people. Without having sex for a committed number of months.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, it was just, I think I had the real thing when my friends were watching porn and then by the time they were having the real thing I was on such a different path.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“With no access to the internet or phone gives you some good training. I feel like, so I grew up, and I'll explain why too. I feel like I started having sex early. And so early in the sense for me, so I felt that when were the years where most of my friends were watching porn, I was having sex. And so I didn't get into it as a habit early on in life, which is where I found it formed for most of my friends. And then by the time they were having real sex, I became a monk. And so it was a really weird order of stuff. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes perfect sense. For me, it was that idea of like,”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“When they watch porn or what their challenge with it is, or how embarrassed they feel, or whatever it may be, was if you went up to them and said, hey, you know, I know that you watch porn and I wanted to know when it started. Like when did you get into it? Allow yourself to be an interviewer about it, not an interrogator. And I feel like one of the biggest mistakes we make in our relationships is we interrogate our partners, not interview them. Let's be curious. Let's actually try and understand it. Let's look at it because it's human. It's natural. Like we said, like 99% of people are doing it anyway. So why are we pretending? Why are we judging our partner and why are we making them feel less than?”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Don't feel good about it. That doesn't mean they don't feel good when they're watching it. I'm saying they don't feel good afterwards. When they think about it, when they reflect on it, they're like, that's not what I imagined would be my sex life. That's not where I thought I'd turn to for satisfaction and enjoyment. So to me, that's, again, comes back to down the same approach. And that's why the approach is always the same. We're always approaching the problem or the challenge from empathy and compassion. We're not approaching it from judgment and accusation of like, oh, you're such a waste. You're such a, you know, like that mindset doesn't ever make someone want to open up. Like if you run up to your partner and said, God, you just watch porn all the time. You're just one of the worst guys. Like, haven't you seen all my mates? They're doing this. And they get this from their partners. And what are you doing? That person's never going to tell you.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's really tough. And like I said, when You know, I think it would be interesting to look at this and I would be fascinated to see Whether the people that are watching porn and I need to talk to more people than I have about it, the people that I know that watch porn and that's why I'm only speaking from my experience don't feel good about it. They internally deeply at the root when we're in a coaching session and we get to the core of it, they feel guilty, they feel shameful, they feel embarrassed about it. It doesn't make them feel good. And they wouldn't openly admit it in a community of people. Now, I'm speaking about a very specific group of people that have come to me for help or support in their relationships.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's what we're saying. Expectations of sex become completely unrealistic, your expectations of intimacy are just thrown out the window”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now you're rewiring your brain to not feel as much pleasure from normal sex or more traditional conventional sex. You're now saying that I'm only going to feel pleasure from sex when it's potentially abusive, violent, somewhat rough, hardcore, whatever else it may be. So I think that's massively unhealthy.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think in the long term it hurts. I think it's unhealthy because it's an avoidance and an escape, right? That's the point. It's like, what is it being used as? It's not being used as self-connection or self-understanding. It's being used as escape and avoidance of the actual topic. And all that's doing is rewiring your brain for false expectations, diminishing returns as well. All the studies that I did look at show that porn is making you work harder. You're going to have to find something more extreme. All the stats that I saw showed that you had to watch more extreme porn to get the same feeling. So the most searched porn and the most watchful porn was abusive, sometimes violent, sometimes rough, hard call, all the search terms were more extreme to get the same feeling because of the diminishing returns of the chemicals that are being released.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Make you close to someone. The only thing that makes you feel close to someone is when you feel you can be open and when you feel seen, heard, and understood in your most vulnerable, darkest and open times. If you can do that, everything else is going to work. But if you can't do that, you can't just make it happen in a moment because you're meant to be together. You're meant to be in love.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is a brilliant question. And the Buddha replied When you like a flower, you simply pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it every day. And to me the one night stand, the porn, the dopamine hit, the release of chemical is the plucking, right? That's what we're all plucking all day long because that's all we can do. But the watering the intimacy, developing intimacy, growing from entertainment to experiments to experiences to education to engaging in service together, all of this creates so much intimacy that physical intimacy is a natural byproduct. It's not something you have to manage or engineer or manufacture. It's based on how close I feel to you. The point is when don't feel close to our partners because we don't do anything that makes us closer every day. Sleeping in the same bed as someone does not make you close to someone. Living in the same house as someone does not.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's no intimacy in porn. There's no, and the problem is, and this is, you know, the book starts with this quote, but it solves this. Problem very neatly and carefully. And it's this idea that Buddha was once approached and asked, what's the difference between I like you and I love you?”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Literally, yeah, all right, let's get it over and done with. Like that mindset. And I'm like, All like there isn't because we've lost intimacy in relationships, there is no intimacy. And so you can't force it physically.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Becomes a transaction and then sex becomes in the best case a crutch and a hopeful aspiration on a special night or whatever it may be or something we wait for and plan for and it never works out as opposed to in the worst case it just becomes something we're both not talking about comfortable about or even doing and so”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, when you look at all of the stats, when you look at all the research, when you look at everything we've just described, sex is a byproduct of a healthy individual and a healthy individual and a growing individual and a growing individual coming together, sorting out their differences, having the fights they need to have, having the conversations they do that naturally creates vulnerability, which leads to being able to expose ourselves at the deepest physical way that we possibly can. How can you expose yourself that vulnerably if you can't even have a vulnerable conversation with your partner because you just switch on the TV every night and avoid that difficult conversation?”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Purpose, like great sex is a byproduct of great connection and intimacy. It's not a replacement for or a source of. If I asked everyone who's listening right now, put your hand up if you've had amazing sex, but no. Right, like that's been real. We've all used sex as a crutch. We've had relationships where every time we argued we had sex, it solved the problem. Every time something was going wrong, we had sex. It was figured out somehow. And the studies show that the chemicals released during sex make you feel like you're getting closer, even though you're not actually emotionally closer.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sexual chemistry and attraction and connection is all based on A, how someone feels about themselves. If someone themselves is not feeling taken care of by themselves, attractive investing in themselves, growing, feeling like they're becoming more and better, it's very unlikely that they're going to want to share their body, mind, emotions, and heart with anyone else in the most physically intimate way, which is sex. It's just unlikely. And chances are if you don't think you're having those conversations you want to have with your partner, where you are being open, where they are working on their values, where we do see each other striving, chances are that you're not going to want to have sex with them either. And so what we're seeing is that the challenge we're having in sex is actually coming from everything else that's going on, that there isn't a sense of growth, joy.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm so glad you brought it up because I think that because of social media, there's this image that everyone else is having sex and I'm not. Like I feel like that's like a very big feeling that a lot of people have and all the stats show that people are having less and less sex. There are more and more sexless relationships and marriages every single year and it's so much more common yet in our groups and online everyone feels like, oh, they're getting some and they're getting some and they're getting some but I'm not. And the truth is most people are not getting any. And that's just, I don't have the stats offhand right now. But whenever I've looked at the trends, that's what the trends show. To me, it comes back down to everything we've just been talking about.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What are you going to build as a skill, as a tool, as a value yourself that's going to make you say, I've done something? And that's the beginning of it. The beginning is I've done something and I did that and I can do that. And when you do that, yes, there's going to be, you're going to validate the wrong things. You're going to give yourself praise for the wrong things. You're going to go through ego. You're going to do all of that. But there's still a belief if I can do hard things. I can do hard things by myself. And I know what value I bring to a relationship.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“His self value, real self worth comes from doing hard things. We keep talking about self love. We keep talking about loving yourself, believing in yourself. That happens naturally when you go through something difficult. Everyone who's listening right now, I guarantee you has been through something difficult. Maybe they lost a friend. Maybe they've been through cancer. Maybe they lost their job and had to rebuild. Maybe they completely got destroyed during the pandemic and had to figure everything out with their health. The point is we've all done hard things and self-worth and self-value comes from recognizing the hardship you've been through and the growth that you made during that time. Now if you're someone who's listening and saying, Jay, well, I'm not sure I've been through anything that challenging. Well, that's your challenge. Go and figure out what it is that you want to do that's hard. Is it developing a new skill? Is it getting a qualification? Is it starting that business or dream that you've always wanted to do? What's that difficult thing you're going to do on your own with your friends, with the support of whoever's around you, but not with the crutch or the handicap?”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, this is, and I love what you just said. I don't believe that value comes from a journal or a conversation with yourself in a mirror.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you know, that story to me is really the story that we're all going through where we're letting someone else define our worth by what we showed them and how all those people are going to rate you based on their own knowledge and their own experience. So if you're a person of low vibration and insecurity and anxiety and you're letting someone define you at $2 worth, that's what you're getting. Whereas if you've already priced yourself at this is my worth, this is who I am, this is my value. You'll never let someone undervalue you. And that's the challenge today is that because we don't value ourselves and we're letting someone else value us, we are being undervalued by every person we date and meet. And that's how everyone feels. Everyone feels like that stone that is undervalued because you're not being perceived by the right people for the right things.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And the boy holds up two fingers. And he says, oh, 200, $200. Okay, yeah, I'll take it. And the boy runs back. And then dad says, okay, now I want you to go to this jeweler and this rare store of gems and stones and jewels and go up and do the same thing. The boy runs back, goes to this, shows the stone, holds up two fingers, and the jeweler says, oh, two thousand dollars, I'll take it.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Which means when someone leaves her for that reason, it just plays into the belief of I'm not good enough. There's this beautiful fable story that I love to share. And it's about A kid who finds a gem in his house, like a stone, and he goes up to his dad and he says, how much is this stone worth, Dad? What's the value of this stone? And the dad says, I want you to go out to the baker. And when you go out to the baker, say that you're selling the stone. And when they ask you how much it is, hold up two fingers. And so the kid said, okay, I'll do that. The kid ran out, went to the baker. The baker said, oh, that looks nice. How much are you selling it for? Kid held up two fingers. The baker said, oh, two dollars. I'll take it. So the kid ran back. And the kid said, Dad, the baker offered two dollars. The dad said, okay, now I want you to go to an antique shop and I want you to show them the jewel, the stone. And when you show them the stone, I want you to hold up two fingers again. So the boy runs off and the antique person says, oh, that's a nice stone. How much is it?”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Correct, and you don't think that. And the worst part about that for your friend is that it's not just an issue that the guy she attracts value only that about her. The biggest issue is she's setting herself to only value that about her.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You're attracting someone who values that about you If you use your only your physical appearance, obviously we're all attracted to each other and that's fine. But if you only use your physical appearance and you believe that's your only asset and you're playing the game of just showing off that, guess what you're going to attract”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So if you use something specific to impress someone, that's the quality and vibration of energy you're attracting. So if I use... Money”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because our whole society is set us up to say, write a list of what you want in a person, write a list of what you want in yourself. Like just write a list of like, who are you, what are my values and what are my goals. And you figured that out, it becomes so much more easier to weed it out. And so I would encourage you to say, this isn't a, you don't have to become a monk for three years. You don't have to go and like live in a mountaintop. You don't have to go on a yoga retreat. Like I'm not telling you to do this for like decades. You could do this in three months if you wanted to. Like this isn't like a decade long process.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Help you is okay. If I figure out Three simple things just what I like and what I don't like about myself and in life, not about a person. I'm not asking you to even think about a person. What do I like and not like as me? What are my values personally right now? Like what's valuable to me? Not about this person. What's valuable to me? And what are my goals? If you figure out those three things, you're more likely to meet people. How? If you know what you like and dislike, you're going to spend time in places that you like and dislike where you're more likely to meet people that have similar likes and dislikes or that at least you can connect with. Second, if you know your values, you're more likely to know who to ask for an introduction to someone because you know who knows who. You know that that friend of yours is more likely to know someone who has a similar value because they're of that value. And then goals make it easier to figure out whether it's going to go somewhere. So you actually speed up and simplify a really tough selection process.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's why I wrote the book. I think that What I'm encouraging for people to understand is that A, having all those insecurities around relationships doesn't put you in the best decision-making profile to make the right decision. So all of that stress and all of that insecurity and all of that anxiety is more likely to push you into a relationship that is unhealthy and toxic than it is to help you move in the right direction. So first of all, I just want you to accept that making a decision from your current mindset is not going to help you make a good one. It's just not going to work. You're more likely to settle for someone. You're more likely to give in for something less than you deserve because right now you're just happy with anything. You're just happy with someone who texts you back. And that's not the relationship you want to be in. So first, I would accept that this mindset is not going to help you. The mindset that is going to help you.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I think the first thing I'd say is it is hard. It is a really tough time to be single right now compared to what it was like a few years ago. Like it is much harder with the landscape and how it's changed. Like 25, 50 years ago, you'd meet someone who lived in a one to five mile radius from your home. You wouldn't even be thinking about having a long distance relationship in the same way. Whereas today you're meeting anyone and everyone all across the world. You have an app that connects you to anyone in that location and area wherever you just got off a plane. So there is complexity. There's more choice now. There's the paradox of choice of, well, there's plenty of fish in the sea. And if this doesn't work out, there's so many more people and other people that are thinking about you and you're worried about that. So it is much harder. And so I don't want to get away from that. Like I don't want to negate the fact that dating today and finding love is.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But if you skip the game because you had the cheat code or you tried to rush it or you got a pirated version or whatever it is, you now can't win at level number 10. And I think we don't realize that what the game of life does is it pushes you back to learn the lessons you haven't learned yet. So you get into a relationship out of insecurity. That person breaks up with you. You're back to being insecure again. Then you get into another relationship to solve your insecurity. That person breaks up with you and then you get insecure again. You're constantly pushed into saying deal with this insecurity alone. Fix it. Figure it out. Learn about it. Get curious about it. And by the way, when you do that, next time you walk into a relationship, A, you'll know or have more chance of knowing whether that person's going to be right or wrong. But if it's right, you're going to be able to make it work. And you're not going to push away something that's powerful.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And what we don't realize is that the work that you skip in step one and two, you're going to have to do with another person. And that work doing it with them is going to slow the quality of that relationship down, potentially ruin a great thing and push someone away. Amen. And actually, make a mess of the situation. And so it's kind of like a game where it's like you could have the cheat code that skips you to 10, but the skills of levels one to nine help you win at ten.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, not at all, not one bit. Because that's the point that we're talking about where you skip step one. You skipped Dharma and you've leaned into karma because you don't want to sort Dharma. Dharma is making sense of who you are and who you want to be and what your role in this world is. And I feel that when you walk into a relationship with that insecurity, it now ruins potentially the safer, secure person that you could have been with. And so I'll go on. I was just going to”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, no, that would like, you know, put him right up there. But yeah, the idea that, you know, and so I think there is a selfishness, right? And I wanted to caveat that. So I'm not saying you need to be perfectly happy. I'm saying you need to know. Who you are? You need to know your values currently, and you need to know your goals currently. All those things will change and evolve as you grow and evolve. But if you've done the practice of understanding that at least This point, you're going to be better at communicating, articulating, and evolving and sharing it again when it changes.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You've got to be if I was saying this hypothetically to my wife, you've got to be on every flight I take next year. My work's really important. I'm saving the world. I'm doing a world tour. You come with me. If you have that belief, that is completely selfish and ego-based. But if my belief is, yes, this is my calling. This is what I'm meant to do on this planet. And I'm really moved by that. But my wife's got an amazing calling herself. And I get so much more attracted to her watching her live her calling. My wife becomes more attractive to me the more she lives her purpose.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and by the way, it's only not unselfish. So yes, what you just said in self-reflection, it is a completely selfish idea if you don't afford your partner the same flexibility and openness to live that way. So it is selfish if you say, I'm going to go achieve this. I want to go build this life. And by the way, you've got to come with me.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, I'm not saying this as theory. I'm saying this as sitting down with people, working with people, and seeing people throw away their own purpose in the pursuit of... Think that sacrificing it makes me a better human being.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it was really interesting because she gave the answer that I think me and you would validate and agree with that she was like, but if I don't fill my own bottle, if I don't fill my own cup, if I'm not my best self, what am I giving to you guys? I'm giving you leftovers. And she's saying that it's not that the kids are second on my list because I don't care about them. And if they needed me, they're going to be second. It's more that I know that I have to invest in myself. And so I think we live in a world where we think sacrificing our purpose makes us a better partner. We think the self-sacrifice and the self-sabotage of our own goals and our own pursuits makes us a better person when actually it doesn't, it makes us more resentful, more guilty, more upset. And I'm saying that because I've seen people who gave up their dreams for decades, only in their 50s and 60s to look back and go when the kids left to go I wish I never gave up on my dreams.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Remember doing this with a lot of couples in one particular couple and the man said You the kids me And the woman said Me. The kids you And when we had this discussion, he was He said How could you put yourself above the kids? He goes, I'm not mad that I'm number three. I'll take that all day But how did you put yourself above the kids? How could you even do that son?”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly. And that's what I'm saying is the mistake that you're hoping that someone is going to come and heal your wounds without doing it yourself, which is why we're living in a world where, you know, the right person could come into your life and reduce drama and the wrong person comes into your life and increases trauma. And that's the experience that we're having, that we're coming from these unhealed places where we don't know our purpose, we don't know our values, we don't know our goals. We mesh with someone else who doesn't know their purpose, doesn't know their values, and doesn't know their goals. And it leads to confusion. It leads to broken hearts. It leads to abuse. It leads to manipulation and control. And so I do this very simply and I ask couples that I work with, and I've worked with, I've been coaching a lot of couples over the last few years, especially while writing this book. And I ask couples that I'm working with to rate their top three priorities in order, including themselves.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The majority of people predicted that if they got married, their happiness would be at eight. But if they remain single, their happiness would be at a three. That perception is mind blowing to me. They believe that if they were in a relationship, their happiness would go to an eight, if they were single would be at a three. The reality is if they stayed single and they did, their happiness stayed at a seven. And so their perception of loneliness, their perception of being alone was far greater. And so a lot of us skip purpose because we find connection is an easier solve to our internal unhealing. So we feel that if I'm with someone, I'm going to feel better about myself than if I have to do that work myself.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT