YouSaid · the spoken record

Jay Shetty

lines on the record: 150
first: 2023-01-30
most recent: 2023-01-30
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“The second one is what do I do to make money? We all need money. What do we do for it? The third is, who do I decide to love and receive love from? And the fourth is, how do I choose to serve the world? How do I choose to impact the world? And so these are the four main pursuits that the Vedas espouse. Dharma is your purpose and who you are. Arthur is economic development. Karma is relationships and connection. And moksha is liberation or service or like ultimate giving. And so those are the four pursuits. And it's really interesting to me that Dharma is placed as the first pursuit, not love. And it's really interesting because you look at people, they did a study on people graduated from graduating from college and they asked them that if you were to get married in the next five years or stay single, what would be your happiness prediction?”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The Vedas VEDAS are the kind of umbrella scriptures, the umbrella spiritual texts that have all of this life advice and wisdom that I share from that context. So the Vedas are the particular texts and they have these four pursuits of life and they are Dharma, Arthur, Karma and Moksha and I'll describe each word because those are all Sanskrit words. So Dharma is purpose. We'll dive into that one more deeply. Arthur and all of my work is pretty much dedicated to this and I'll break it down in my own language to make it simpler for everyone. I believe that there are four important decisions that we all get to make in life. The first one is how I feel about myself.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The quality of your relationship will skyrocket immensely by doing any of those three out of the four than just switching on the telly. And I think too many of ourselves are Losing our partners, losing ourselves and losing our relationships because we're expecting a TV show made by people who don't really care about your relationship to entertain us.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is education. Go and learn together. Maybe there is a book that you can both read together. Maybe there is a podcast you can listen together. Maybe there is a retreat that you both want to go on. Maybe there is a course that you both really want to do, or alternatively, you both commit to doing separate things, but you report back and talk about it. One of you is learning an art, one of you is learning self-development. Now you're sharing your exclusive learning journeys with each other. You're both growing together. And then the highest thing is serving together. Go to a soup kitchen, go to a homeless shelter, go somewhere that inspires you both, that affects you both, and go and help, go and serve, go and improve the world together. When you think about any of those three out of the four, yes, they take a bit more planning. Yes, they take a bit more time than watching TV. Actually, maybe not. I'd argue that takes the same amount of time.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Now we get to make ourselves both feel vulnerable. TV is not vulnerable. So when we're talking about creating vulnerability, it's not just in conversation. It's in us both doing an escape room that we've never done before. Now we're vulnerable without even trying, right? We're both going to go and be part of an experiment experience that we've never done before because it helps us be vulnerable. Maybe we're going to try a new sport that we never played together. Me and my wife tried surfing last year. Never done it before. This year we tried wakeboarding. Never done it before. We both look like fools. Both can't do it to save our lives. Actually, she's much better than me. So I'll give her the credit. But the point is that the more you put yourself in uncomfortable new experiences and experiments, and by the way, I've given a range of examples. It could literally be, you know, going to an art class together or going to pottery together or whatever it may be. It can be the most basic thing. Do something where neither of you know anything about it. Your vulnerability skyrockets without having to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Higher than that level.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So higher than that, and that's why it's a ladder, there's other steps. Instead of entertainment, I'm really interested in people doing experiences together, something new, something fresh, an experiment together. What I mean by that is how can you both do something that you both are not experts at? Often what we do in relationships is we say, oh, well, I love football, come watch football with me, or I love this, come watch this with me. I love this band, come and experience this band with me. What we're doing is we're creating an expert and student mentality. I'm going to teach you what the offside rule is. I'm going to teach you about this music and this, whatever else it may be, right? We're kind of creating that idea that I know something you don't. And what that does in a relationship is it doesn't create a shared experience. A shared experience is when we both go somewhere where we both don't have a lot of experience and now we get to discover new things about our partner. Now we get to see them in a new scenario.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Most of us only do one thing with our partners, and it's watching TV, and that is the lowest form of intimacy that you could possibly ask for with any human being. If you and I watch TV together for two hundred hours a year, we would potentially be no closer than we were before, yet with our partners all we do is stay glued to a box for hours every day waste minutes searching for what to watch, and then maybe having a quick little chat about it and switching it off. So I have this pyramid of intimacy and entertainments on the lowest rung of the ladder. But that's what the majority of couples are doing. It's actually falling apart slowly and you have no idea. And I know that's a painful truth to accept, but it is an inconvenient truth.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I had a friend who just got back from vacation with her partner and straight after that she was like, but I didn't feel like we spent any time together. And when she told him that, he said, well, we just spent three days together. What do you mean? And when I asked her, well, if you spent three days together, what do you mean? She said, well, he was on his iPad or he was on his phone or he was on his laptop. We weren't actually together. And I said, well, you're not asking for time, you're asking for presence. And you're asking for energy. So often our vocabulary is wrong. You know, we're saying, I want you to come home from work on time. That's not what you're saying. What you're saying is I want to spend time where we share energy and interact together, but we're using the wrong language. And so, A, we're not communicating what we want. But more interestingly, I found that, and everyone can do this. And I really want people to take this in and really let it sit.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I've turned it down. And I think everyone needs to come up with their own version of that rule. Because that's such a, it's a great rule. And if him and his partner have committed to that, and that's my hope with the book, with the rules, it's like come up with your own relationship rules. Like one of ours is every 30 days we spend three days together without our phones and we drive somewhere three hours away from our home in LA and spend that time together. And that's been a healthy habit for us every month because I don't think I want to wait for our annual vacation to spend quality time together. And so whether you're spending one hour together every week undisturbed without your phones, I also think that one of the things I talk about is the levels of connection.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Four weeks or five weeks of cities all across Europe, India, Asia and Australia. And my wife will pop into a couple of cities, but she's not going to come on the whole tour with me. And so again, I'm like, okay, which cities are you going to be in which weekends am I going to take off? Which nights am I going to be with you? And then what are we going to do when I reconnect after the World Tour? It's now coming from a completely conscious organized space, just as I would organize work, just as I would deal with a business partner. You just can't take a relationship for granted. It just will break. It will wilt away.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And someone you love and someone you feel you've really achieved something with to kind of feel like you had to rebuild it all again, it was too much. And I don't want to do that again. And so I'm changing the way I feel about distance. I'm always going to make it conscious. It's always communicated. And some of the habits I've set up that have been really helpful is I also set up not even just disconnection physically, but time poverty and emotional. So I'm going on toward this year. And when I go on tour this year, I'm going to be on the road in the US for three weeks in total, which is quite normal for me and my wife to be apart for three weeks. But it's communicated. It's in the calendar. And then I come back to LA for a month and I've kept that whole schedule free because I want to plan a few trips with my wife. We may even go on a vacation, whatever it may be. And then after that, I go on my world tour, which is another.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It took six months after six months to reconnect. And I literally felt like it was like a rule that for every day I was apart, I had to spend a day of quality time with that person to refine and rediscover and to sustain and to evolve and grow a relationship. And I literally felt that six months apart took me six months with my wife to get back to where we were before those six months, especially because some of those six months happened unconsciously. And so unconscious time apart isn't healthy and unconscious reconnection isn't healthy. And that was six months of conscious reconnection after six months of unconscious disconnectedness that helped us connect again. And I'd never want to do that again. It was too painful to look at someone.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I think it's even healthier if you have a plan of how to reconnect after the time apart. And I think that's where relationships and distance go wrong. Most relationships in distance are either by default or with no consciousness. So we just ended up not seeing each other for X amount of time, whether that's one week, one month, or whatever it may be. That unconscious time of not being with each other is not healthy for a relationship. You don't know why you're disconnected. You don't know for how long. You don't know how you're reconnecting, and you don't know how you're staying in touch. That's not good quality time away. So that's how to make time work for you. Six months is too long. Six months doesn't work. I've tried and tested it. It's really bad.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, my wife and I have been together for 10 years, so it's not long and it's not short. It's like, you know, it's a good amount of time. We've To six months apart a year sometimes, and we've spent as little as Two months apart a year. So we've varied in those 10 years anywhere from two months to six months a year of not seeing each other based on work, schedules, priorities, etc. And I was always someone who believed that distance was really good for relationships. I think it's healthy to miss each other. I think it's healthier if you have a plan of how you're going to be a part.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You will only know their values if you ask them, if you're aware of you can see how they spend their time and money. Most people don't like the way their partner spends their time and money, which means you don't like their values. But you see, And then the third is, do you want to help them achieve their goals? That's love. Love means that you want to help them get to where they want to get to. But most of us don't even know where our partners want to go or where we want to go. So we're struggling with like three fundamental things that define love and we'll never know because we're trying to patch it up with all the other stickers that come up in making us feel good.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So we're nothing right now, Stephen. We're not doing very well on that list. Now, having said that, we've also had very deep time to, like, we're always opening our entire souls and hearts to each other. So it's a different type of relationship. But the point is liking someone's personality is, do I want to spend 200 hours with them? That's how I like to break it down. Do I see myself spending 200 hours with this person trying to understand them? The second is do I respect their values is”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Feeling accomplished and fulfilled throughout the day, we make time to connect on understanding where each other's lives are going, where they intertwine and where they separate. And we support each other in the goals. I break it down into three things in the book. I talk about liking each other's personality. And the way I define that, that's the first one of the three. What I mean by that is there's an amazing study that was done that said that in order for someone to be considered a casual friend, you have to spend forty hours with them. In order for someone to be considered a friend, you have to spend one hundred hours with them. And for someone to be considered a good friend, a great friend, you have to spend two hundred hours with them.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I think also just trying to, I think the reason why we haven't had that conversation is most of us don't even know our vision. So the reason why we haven't done that with a partner is because we don't know the answer to our own question. And so before you ask that question, you should have your own idea. I know what I want. My vision of a relationship is we wake up excited to see each other every day. We go to bed.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Totally, totally. So there's always Totally, and you know love means to understand why someone makes the choices they make. And most of us don't even know why they make those choices and we want them to make our choices. That's as simple as it is.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“controlling them by forcing them, by coming up with a magic trick. It's just not going to happen. Like I think so many people say to me, Jay, just, you know, my partner just won't read your book. I really want them to read your book. And I'm like, please don't do that to them. You're about to push that person over the edge. And guess what? Not only are they not going to read my book, they're not going to be interested in personal development or growth because now you've given it a bad taste. Half the atheists in the world exist because religion failed them. It wasn't that they became an atheist out of choice because they were like, oh, I'm just going to be an atheist. It's because they saw someone as part of a religion that failed them. And so whether it's personal growth, whether it's health, whether it's mindfulness, whether it's yoga, whatever your latest trend is that you're into, forcing your partner to get into it is going to push them away far more than it's going to excite them and entice them.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They're a project. And I talk about that in the book the idea that, you know, the project or there are three roles we play in relationships. One is the fixer. We want to find someone to fix. And the other is we play the role of the project. So we want to be fixed by someone else. So we're looking for that person. And really the right thing we want to be is the supporter, the partner, the true equal, the true person who adds value to the other person sometimes takes on the role of the fixer, sometimes is the project, but overall is coming at it from a point of we're working on this together. As you said, a team sport. And so when it comes to Rebecca and Dave, ultimately the deepest, most beautiful question your partner can ask you is, where do you want to be? And do you want my help getting there? And if the answer to that question is something you don't like, then it comes to the end of it because you're not going to change them by manipulating them, by controlling.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Saying, I love that you love that and I love this, you go do your thing, I'll go do mine. Why do I want to force my partner to come watch a football game with me if they hate football? I'd rather go watch it with someone that loves football. And why is she going to force me to go do something that I don't want to do? I don't think that that's compromise or connection. I think that's ruining relationships, quite frankly. So I think going to the core of the answer, and I'll coach through Dave and Rebecca, but I think going to the root of it, it's just the issue of stop trying to change people. If you're trying to change them, then you don't love them. You love their potential. You love a version of them that you think they can become. That's not them. And stop trying to make them that version because if you're in love with who someone could be, then you're not in love with them and accept that. And I don't think we want to accept that. We want to think that we're better, greater human beings because we see something better for someone.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“As a team sport in this regard, right? First thing I'm going to say is stop trying to change anyone because people don't change. People they change for themselves. Like, stop trying to change anyone. People do not change for you. They don't change for me. They change for themselves. And if they don't want to change, they're not changing. And if you want to change your partner, chances are they're not the right person for you. And by the way, anyone you date, you'll always want to change because somehow deep inside of you you believe that the values you were brought up with and what you think is right is what everyone in the world should do. And so the core issue, again, going to the root is us and our projection. Is my wife any less of an amazing human being because she lives differently to me? No. And I think that relationships are so much more about learning to respect other people's values than they are to make them value what we value. I think the biggest issue we're having in relationships right now is we're saying, well, I like this. Why don't you like it? Relationships are...”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Correct, because I think that not only helps the other person, but it helps me understand how to actually be there for the person I love. Because I think that if you go to the root, that person has the opportunity to say, thank you, that's how I feel, but I just don't know how to say it. So I want to give the person the opportunity to feel so heard when they can't even hear their own voice, but they can hear it through my reflection on them where they can say, you know what, you're right. That is exactly how I feel. I know I can be so much better. And if I can't find that in them, then we're not meant to be.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Going deeper. It's not going around going around is saying, oh, you know, I'm just not working out anymore. Like, oh, you know, I'm just seeing other people now. Like going around it is like Know going around it is just saying, I mean, even one sense of going around it is just like, yeah, finding other people attract, whatever.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Worth so much more. And I feel like you can make so many better choices for yourself. And I think you have the ability to get there. But I don't know if you want that. And if you don't want that, that's totally fine. But that's the kind of partner I want to be with.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, and they're addicted to porn, their partner found pictures and videos and all that kind of stuff on their laptop and phone and all the rest of it. And we were working with them and it was, if that person didn't see a problem with their addiction, that's where you were at. But the person's problem wasn't that they were just addicted to porn, it was the lack of transparency, it was the lack of honesty, it was the lack of emotional connection. Their issue wasn't that they were watching porn. Their issue was, don't you trust me enough to tell me that there's a disconnect here, that we don't have enough of a relationship where you can share this with me? That was the issue that they were having. So to me, I'm always trying to communicate. Empathy is communicating at the root of the issue, not with the symptom of what you're experiencing. And if someone empathetically said to you, Stephen, I feel, and this is my projection on you and you're allowed to edit this, I just feel that you're”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Powerful relationship. So to me, I'm communicating my disconnect with that person's choices and values. I'm not simplifying it to just how they look in the mirror. That discretion isn't the truth. Because the truth is that, because they can change how they look in the mirror, but they don't want to is my issue with it. They don't want to be better in all the ways I think they can be better, right? That they don't, I don't feel like they want to improve. I was coaching someone who's partner was addicted to porn”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is that true? And I'm checking if my emotional instinct is real. Now in this case, it's me saying, I honestly feel that over the last three years I haven't been able to understand. I haven't really been able to gain context of why you've made the choices you've made. And I really want to understand and deeply, and therefore you to understand if these choices are aligned with your values, if they are, those are not the values that attract me. Those are not the values that make me feel good about being in a relationship. Because what I'm saying is if you found someone physically attractive and now you find them physically unattractive, I promise you it's also based on their values and choices. It's not simply based on how they look. That's too simplistic for a modern day.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then I'd follow that up with Do Mind If I Share Mine Do you mind if I share with you, if I feel this relationship's going in the right direction or how I feel? And so once I've heard her out and seen where she's at, I'm now going to tell her exactly how I feel. My way of saying it would be, I've got to a place where I'm feeling emotionally disconnected. I'm feeling like I don't feel like you're present with me. I don't feel like you're connected. I don't feel like you want to.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I so I would say, and I want to use a real life scenario with my wife because I think it's easier to talk about a real conversation we've had. If I felt emotionally disconnected from my wife because we've both been traveling separately, we've both had a lot of work on. We haven't really found time to connect or be without the deep, be with each other deeply. I often say to her, and I've said this throughout our whole relationship, I'll say to her, is this relationship going in the direction you wanted to go in? And that's a really open and broad question. She could say, yes, you could say no. And then my second question is, if it is going in the direction you wanted to go in, what's going well? And then I'd say if it isn't going in the direction you're going in, what do you need? And what are you willing to do?”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's the journey if you want this relationship to last. So if I find something intolerable, the next step isn't telling them how I feel. The next step is understanding why they're there, how they got there, what their reasoning is. And that takes time. That person isn't going to, on day one, they're going to give you answers like you just gave me. On day 73, chances are someone's going to say, I'm feeling really bad about how I am, right? Or maybe not.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Absolutely, absolutely. I think after understanding, I think the biggest mistake that happened. So I talk about this in the book where I talk about things that you find intolerable about your partner, right? This comes under that category, that you find it intolerable that they don't take care of themselves and now you're not attracted to them. I talk about going on this journey. If you love someone enough, if you care about someone enough, you will want to go on the journey from intolerable Understanding, to acceptance. Potentially even admiring them for who they are and where they've gone.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They're not opening up to their friends. Like, if you're seeing no sign of this person doesn't feel they're going, they're doing anything wrong by their account, now you're out of options of controlling that. So I think there's many more layers before, I don't think this person's right for me anymore, but I think those layers and levels are time. How long has this lasted? I think it's who are they honest and open with because sometimes they may not be honest and open with you because they're embarrassed, but they're being open and honest with someone else, their family, their friends, whoever else it may be. Are you aware of that? Do you even know the conversations they're having? And then if you're not attracted to someone, I mean, you're well within your rights to move on and get on with your life. I mean, how are you going to force yourself to, if that's an important value for you, someone would say for physical attraction isn't my number one value? That's totally fine too. So you would stay with that person, right? Like if that's not your number one value.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, and seen that pattern for long enough. Because, by the way, that pattern could last a week and it could be over next week And that person's now guilty and shameful of, and they're dealing with something far deeper. So I don't think. Oh wow, that person for a month has gone in this direction. It's never that quick, right? If you're seeing over months and years that someone's just going on a downward spiral, then they're not opening up to you. They're not opening up to a therapist. They're not opening up to their mom, their parents, their sister. They're not opening up to a coach.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Why they're in that position and how long they think that's going to last. And so my next question would be like, that sounds awesome. That sounds like a lot of fun. How long do you feel like that's where you want to be? Now, your answer maybe, I feel like that's how I want to live forever, right? Like that's the direction it's going in. I have very little control over that.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, so I'm going down the angle of trying to get to understand, right? Like that's what I'm trying to do in this scenario.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. I think my honest answer would be I would like to approach that. And I believe I would because I think I've shown it in different areas of my relationship, not in the physical sense. Have been the compassion of Are you happy with where you are right now with that person? Are you happy in the direction that you're moving in? Is this the life you want? Has this been created out of pain or stress or pressure or has this been created out of choice and out of action, right? And I think getting to understand that person's journey to that point sets you up to understand where this is going. If that person then turns around and goes, this is exactly who I want to be. And this is the person I want to be. And this is how I choose to live my life.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You should always preach wherever you are in everything you do. And if you need to, use words. The idea that your example, your practice is what inspires people. If you're working really hard and you're a wonderful human being, that far more makes someone want to work hard than you work in hard and being a miserable human being.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But I hadn't really figured out what I did for my body. I'd done a lot for my mind and my heart and my emotions, but not for my body. And when I met my wife, like she inculcated the belly for me working out more regularly and eating more healthily. And when I met my wife, I was addicted to sugar. I still love fried food. I still love sodas. And my wife was just like, this ain't happening. But again, she didn't call it out. It wasn't like a, oh, you're so unhealthy. You just sit around and drink. It wasn't like that. It was educating me and it was enlightening me and it was helping me change my habits. Yeah, inspiring me. And it's setting the example, right? I think setting the example is far more. Beautiful, there's a quote I use of St. Francis in the book which says”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and I've seen that she's done that, like where my wife has opened up to some of my ideas and my ways of working because I open up it as a conversation, not as a, oh, by the way, these are my goals for 2023. What are yours, where it's like a pressure. And that's like an insecure amateur version of trying to be a coach. It's like, well, look what I've achieved. What did you achieve this year? Or by the way, let's look at our 2022 goals and what we achieved. It becomes an ego thing again. So I think for me, I've really tried my best to embody being a coach in my partnership because I see it just being healthier. When we've allowed each other's good qualities to rub off, and by the way, she's done the same back to me. So if I've coached her in like finding her drive and her passion and her purpose and coached her in the sense of not like meticulously, but as a friend, she's done the same for me.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Never dictates the pace of the students, and my monk teacher, who you met that day in New York, would never ever say to me, Jay, you've been meditating for seventeen years now, why are you not a pure, perfect meditator? They would never say that to me because they don't think that that's the pace at which it works. They know that I'm on my journey, on my timeline. Now at the same time, I think opening up conversations, like I will have the conversation with my wife and be like, are you thinking about setting goals or intentions for 2023 and do you want to talk about it? Because I'm going to be doing that myself.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do with my skills. Like, I she always wanted to be in pediatrics and she wanted to help people with their nutrition and diet and she wanted to work with individuals and work with, and now she's working with people online. And she does love making recipes, but does she want to build a restaurant? And so we'd always go through that cycle. And I started to realize, and we'd have this conversation often that just because someone says something that's a good idea, it doesn't need to be your idea and you don't need to chase it. And so I'd say that I don't think I've ever pushed my pace on her because I think part of being a coach, and this is why I value coaching so deeply, is because a coach is never meant to dictate the pace of the person they work with. And so there's a chapter in the book called Your Partner is Your Guru. And that's a really tough statement to handle. But actually a guru likened to a coach”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, yeah. I sometimes I think, and I write about this in the book, but by the time I was. By the time I was with my wife and we moved in and got married and started really investing in our relationship, I think I'd seen a lot of people do it to other people. So my wife would always get people around her. She's a phenomenal chef and cook and really, really talented when it comes to food and health and nutrition. So the one thing she'd hear from everyone was, you should start a restaurant. Like that's all she'd ever hear is you should start a restaurant. You should start a restaurant. And whenever I'd see the like sometimes fear, confusion, uncertainty on her face when people would say that this is like, you know, I'm talking about like seven years ago, maybe eight years ago. And I would always sit with her with that and be like, how do you feel when people say that? Like, what is, does that excite you? Does that, you know, if someone told me that and I had her skills, I'd be like, oh, that's amazing. People believe in me, right? Which is something I never really had. And she was like, no, I just, I don't know if I want a restaurant. Like, I don't know if that's what I want.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My wife really values her values her mental and physical health. And so her number one priority in the day is making sure she's meditated and making sure she's gone to the gym. Like those are like massive priorities for her. And sometimes there'll be two workouts and more meditation. And I'm coming back off of a slog day of like working podcast meetings, schedules, all this other stuff. And I meditated, but I haven't worked out today and I'm running around. And I think at the end of the day that I've achieved more. Like that is a weed because I'm saying that what I prioritize is more important than what”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I think the biggest one. That I probably monitor, I mean, I monitor all of them regularly, but I think it's the weed that we all have That the way we live life is the right way to live it, like the belief that my perspective, my opinion, my priorities, my values should be everyone's, and that somehow because of that, we should all align. And I think you see that with your partner the most. Like, for example,”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Of that, that won't ruin it. And that's the perfect analogy that was given to us in the monastery was we all had to plant a seed and tend to it every day because you'd see weeds grow around it every day. And this was the exact concept that was taught to us, that when you plant a seed, weeds are going to grow around it and the weeds often look like the plant. They often look perfect. And you can keep watering the weeds or water the seed and pluck the weeds. And that's the daily practice that each and every one of us does. So I think every day I sit with myself in my meditation and I try and pluck out the weeds. And sometimes it's not plucking. Sometimes it's ripping, gripping, destroying, uprooting. Like the weeds have gone deep. Some of these weeds are not no longer little seedlings and little plants. Some of them have been around for years. And so there's that work that has to happen.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's when you're most likely to lose because that's when you put your guard down. And I think putting your guard down to your own envy and to your own comparison and to your own ego is unhealthy. And I think sometimes when we see the crazy things that happen in the world, it's not because someone was made that way or built that way. It's that they let their guard down to those things. And so when I'm saying that I sat for seven days with my demons and my dark side and my unhealthiness and checked myself, I'm glad I did that and I shouldn't avoid that. I shouldn't sit here and say, no, no, no, I know I'm an amazing human being and I'm a good intention. I know all this thing. I am good intentioned. I am someone who cares about people. I am deeply compassionate. I have only ever tried my best to serve and love. Those are all true. I'm very confident in that. But at the same time, I have a propensity to be egotistic, to be envious, to be jealous, to be comparative, to be competitive in an unhealthy sense. And if I'm more vigilant,”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't think so. I don't think that's the goal I think the moment you think you've won the battle is when you lose. I mean, there's that brilliant clip on social that's always going viral. And it's literally like, I forget what the line is, but I think the caption is something like it's never over until it's over. And it's all the moment in sports where someone's felt that the ball's gone across the line or hasn't or the person's running thinking they're about to cross the finish line, they look over, and they lose every single time. And I think that that's a great image and metaphor for the idea that as soon as you think you've won,”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so the idea that Feel like I just don't associate with my dark side often, but I think my dark side exists within this capacity of like, you know, the comparison, the envy, the jealousy, the ego. That's the kind of stuff that I would say that mainly I would grapple with. And I grapple with on a daily basis and I choose to grapple with it on a daily basis. In the monastery, we often talk about relishing the battle. That there was always going to be a battle. The battle was never won or lost. It was a constant relishing the battle. You just had to re-pick up the sword and have the fight every day. And so I've learned to relish the battle. And the battle is accepting that there is both inside of me And it's a battle I have to have every day. And the avoidance or ignorance that I don't have one of the sides isn't healthy.”
2023-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Jay Shetty: 8 Rules For Perfect Love & Amazing Sex! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT