YouSaid · the spoken record

Lewis Howes

lines on the record: 122
first: 2022-04-14
most recent: 2022-04-14
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“And then lifestyle. I love, you know, traveling. Do you like to travel? I love to watch these types of movies. I like to eat these types of foods. I like these types of experiences. This is a lifestyle that I live. If you have a completely different lifestyle, that's going to be hard for us. If you like to do none of those things, if you like to stay at home every day where I want to go out and network with people and travel, that's just going to be a tough. We're going to be butting heads a lot. And there might be Maybe it works, but it might cause some friction and distance in the future. So are we in alignment of values, vision, and lifestyle? It doesn't have to be 100% perfect, but is there alignment in each category? And I think the more alignment you have, the more potential for a better, healthier relationship.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Vision is different. Person wants to have kids, the other person doesn't, one wants to get married, the other doesn't, one wants an open relationship, the other one doesn't want that, one wants their family around every weekend. The other one's like, I don't want to be around your family every weekend. So what is the vision of our shared relationship?”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I want to learn from everyone. So I was like, I want to have conscious consensus. It's one of my values. So we have these deep intimate talks all the time. And so I write down a list of all my values. The vision is this is the vision for my personal life. So personally, I want to be working out. I want to be healthy as an individual. My vision is my mission, which is building a consciousness to serve millions of people, to help them improve the quality of their life. And this is a major priority to me. This is my one and two priority. This is my vision. And also our relationship vision. Which I think is extremely important to talk about with your partner. Here's the vision I have for our relationship for these couple years and for the future. This is what I see with flexibility, nothing set in stone, but this is what I see. What is your vision for our relationship? Because maybe her or his...”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Which is fine, but I just can't handle it after a few minutes. So right away, the person sitting next to me, I was like, how's your marriage? You know, I just asked you, I was just like, how long have you been married for? You know, and she was like, I've been married for like six years. And I go. Three questions you wish you had asked? I literally did this. I go, What's three questions you wish you would have asked? Day before he got married that you didn't ask because I'm just fascinated by people. You know, I'm curious. I'm like, how amazing has the marriage been? How has it been healthy? Have you had challenges? Is there anything you wish you would have changed or talked about sooner? And right away, she's like opening up and like being vulnerable. And I was like, sorry to put this on you right now, but I'm just fascinated.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I think the values is really about for me, the values is like, okay, I value health in my life. I'm going to be focused on my health. I value my mission, my team, my business. Like that's a conscious mission. I value spending time with friends. I value all my hobbies and activities. That's salsa dancing. That's traveling. That's all these different things I enjoy doing. I value conscious conversations. Like I want to have conscious conversations. I can't have superficial conversations. I literally met someone this morning before I came here who is a part of a big company here in London. And within two minutes, I probably like shouldn't do this, but I don't know if all British people are this way. And it's not a bad thing, but it's very good with like surface talk. Oh, how was the flight? Let's order some tea and crumpets or whatever it is, you know, and it's like.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My responsibility because if someone does that And I stay with them, that's on me. That's me not standing up for myself. That's me abandoning myself. That's not on them. They're living their life. They're doing what they do naturally. It didn't line up with me, but I stayed, so that's on me. I can't expect someone else to change. I can't expect someone else to respect my values, my vision, and my lifestyle. They have theirs, and they're showing it through their actions and their behaviors. And so for me, if I'm able to witness that and be aware and not have the false sense of love and be attached to the false sense of love that I'm feeling, I'm having this feeling about this person and I want to get back to this healthy environment with this person. I got to learn to let that go. And that's why I say I can hold love in my hands loosely, committed and excited about it. But if it's not meant for me, I shouldn't hold on to it and abandon myself. And I think I did that too many times.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I chose it. I chose those experiences. I chose those relationships. I chose the environment. I chose those people. I chose to stay. And it's my responsibility on how I show up and how I react, how I respond, and how I stay or leave.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Power over your emotions not stuffing your emotions, not saying they don't exist, not acknowledging them, but expressing them in a healthy way and in a healthy environment. And when we learn that, and I've been learning that over the last couple years, it's been an incredible shift in every area of my life. And I also just feel an incredible sense of peace. I'm not saying that I'm always going to be perfect in the future around this, but showing up to someone twice a month and processing makes me a whole lot better.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You want to stop, even though you've got all this money and businesses and startups and investment, you know, dragons then and all. You keep hiring a coach or have a mentor. Business, why would we not do that for our emotions and our heart It is the most powerful energy that we have emotions and our heart. And yet we have a stigma around having a coach or mentor or guide or a therapist, whatever you want to call it, of emotional regulation and accountability. And people make so many mistakes in their lives by not having that regulated. Their reactions can have consequences for years. People go to prison for one reaction. People lose their entire business for one reaction. People lose their marriages because of one emotional reaction. Is one of the most powerful currencies in the world, in my opinion, is having a”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's huge. And you've got to learn to practice that yourself in a relationship and not be reactive. If a partner is telling you stuff about their past you don't like or what they did or this and that, you got to be okay and practice it. And they've got to be. And that's where constantly working on yourself is huge in intimacy and relationships. And if one person's doing that and the other person isn't, there's going to be conflict.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Are you saying you're emotionally available to hold the space for my honesty and truth? And she said, yes, I'm a grown woman. I go, interesting. Okay. Well, here it is. And she was like, thank you for your honesty. And it built a one step. Okay, let me try this again one more time and make sure she can really handle it. And the more steps of her holding space for my honesty, my vulnerability, and not exploding or reacting makes me feel like, okay, I can say anything. And she may not like it. It may be uncomfortable, but she's not explosive. And that's a powerful thing of how can I be comfortable in the discomfort while also feeling safe?”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Kind of a little bit of the truth, you know? And I go, Do you want me to be 100% honest with you? And she said, yes, always. I go, are you sure you want me to be 100% honest? She said, yes. And I go, okay, let me ask you one more time. Reason I'm asking you is because. I've never met someone who can hold the space for my honesty without reacting or crying or screaming or running away.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, I don't want to do it. I don't like it. I don't think anyone likes it. But the more we do it is here's the thing we've created a safe space where And the reason I don't like to do it or haven't liked to do it until now Because every time I would have an uncomfortable conversation before, the partner I had could not handle it. I'd say here's how I'm feeling and they couldn't handle it or there'd be an explosion or reaction or something. So it didn't make me feel safe to have the uncomfortable conversation. So I'd avoid it. And with Martha, I said to her, Listen. Like the first uncomfortable conversation I go, she asked me a question about something that was kind of like, I can't remember exactly what it was, but I remember like, hmm, should I tell her the truth or should I?”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You just try to keep having fun experiences Conflict I have had so many uncomfortable conversations with Martha that it's like a muscle. You got to practice it. And every time an uncomfortable conversation comes up, I have to breathe. I'm like, oh man,”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Wasn't every day for months. So you were like a couple weeks at a time with space. But when you're going to be more together consistently, it could be a problem”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Not when your weight to get sick. Now I need to go to the gym. And I think who does that in relationships? I don't know anyone who's done that. You hear people say, like before marriage, we do like a premarital maybe relationship training with the churches or like a therapist, but that's after a few years usually. I just wanted to experiment, I have no idea where it's going to go, but I feel like something's happening underneath the surface by both of us doing this together when things are good.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just processing anything we needed to process. And it was such a powerful experience that When things are going good, to continue to talk about vision casting, what we want to build together, not when things are going bad. And it's really to talk about things that maybe we haven't fully been comfortable talking about yet and putting it out there as opposed to hiding things or waiting for things to come out later. And it was such a powerful five-hour experience. I mean, it's very emotional and you're processing a lot and we're diving in deep exercises, eye gazing, talking about things like An emotional relationship workout. Save a lot of time and headache by going to therapy when things are great as opposed to when things are bad.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Every relationship I've been in, I was like, I wonder what it would be like to start therapy in the beginning when everything is perfect. So with Martha, I sat in the beginning, I said, listen, I'm doing therapy every two weeks. I did this for the last year on my own individually. I'm going to be doing it for this next year and years. Just as emotional accountability for myself in life, business, friends, family, like anything I need to process, it's just good for me to clean the energy and not let things pile up. And I said I'd love for us, and she was doing this individual. I said, I'd love for us to do this together as we start to develop our relationship when things are great. And actually see if we are in alignment. And so two weekends ago, we did a five-hour session together with my therapist talking about expectations, agreements, values, dreams, vision.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You resent yourself. You resent the person, you resent the relationship, and you're like. You're not in love as much with a relationship because you feel like you're, it's not lifting you to your highest calling. And I think The beautiful thing about Martha and our relationship, I think she'll be open with me talking about this”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it brings me peace because I'm not attached. I'm committed. I'm holding it loosely. You know, I've got my hands wrapped around the relationship, but I'm not suffocating the relationship. I'm not squeezing it to death. I'm like, okay,”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly And so, man, it's liberating and freeing. And the only way this works is because this sounds bad. I'm going to say something. That probably sounds bad. I think my girlfriend would be okay with me saying this. But the only way this works. I'm willing to walk away at any moment. I don't want to walk away. I want to be with this woman. She's incredible. She's a gift in my life. If it's not in alignment with her values, her vision, her lifestyle, my values, my vision, my lifestyle, and we don't fully accept who we are, then we shouldn't be together. And I want the best for her, and I want the best for me. So as sad as I would be, I'm willing to walk away at any moment if it compromises giving up who I am.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Based on five previous relationships, it was based on every relationship before where I abandoned myself to try to make one person happy and create peace in an environment because there was never peace. And it's my responsibility, it was my decisions by choosing these relationships, by staying and by not leaving sooner. And so it's never, because I just wanted to fix the relationship. I was like, okay, how can we make this better?”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“None of them had a purpose they made me their purpose, and I was like, no, what's the thing you want to do in the world? What's the calling you have? And none of them had a calling. They had stuffed activities. They had hobbies, but it wasn't like a main calling in the world. And she was like, you're the perfect match for me because you have a mission to serve the world. And I'm cool with that. Were you trying to? I was trying to scare her off by saying I'm never going to change who I am”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Something calling me in the world and I'm not doing it because I'm giving more time and attention to one person. But if I am healthy and working on myself, if I am putting energy and time into my mission, then you're going to have the most incredible relationship of your life because I'm going to be of service to you in such a high, beautiful, authentic way that you're going to be feeling like you're the number one priority. But you just have to be an awareness that this is where I'm coming from. And it doesn't mean I'm not going to be spending all my time with you and I'm free and we're not going to have amazing life, but you got to be aware this is my priorities. And the crazy thing is right when I finish, he said, that's the most amazing thing I've ever heard because that's exactly what I've been looking for.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I said, You're not number one, and you're not number two. You're number three. And no woman wants to hear, I'm the third priority and some man's life, they need to make me number one. I need to be thinking about me all the time. I'm number one priority. Otherwise, I'm out of here. And it's not that she's not a number one top priority, but health needs to come first at all times. That doesn't mean all day I'm doing my health. It's just I need to make sure every day I'm taking care of it. This is a top priority. If this is number two, number three, number 10, I'm not going to be good for you in our relationship. I'm not going to have energy. I'm going to be more moody. So I need to make this a priority first for the second priority, which is my mission, my calling from God, the universe, the world, whatever you want to call it, whatever speaking through me into the existence. Because if that is not a high priority for me, then I'm going to be unhappy because I'm going to feel like there's...”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My number one priority needs to be my health, because without my health, I can't fully show up for my number two priority, which is my mission or my calling from God”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I was like, let me just string this along as far as I can before I get committed. Right? Let me just give it some space, not jump into this thing too fast. Let's just take it slow. And after about three months, I said to her, I go, listen, I'm going to tell you something that I don't think you're going to like. And I said this many times to her. I go, I'm going to say something right now that you're probably not going to like. And I don't think any woman wants to hear this from a man. I'm just letting you know. And she's thinking I'm about to drop a bomb or something. And I'm like, you may not want to continue dating me after you hear this. She was like, what is it? She's freaking out. I go, you will never be my number one priority. Never. And I had an explanation. I said, listen.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And how that was received. Man, I told her probably like three months in. As we I knew in the first night I met her, I go. I wanted to be single. I was like, just got done this healing journey, get out of a relationship. I was like, I really want to be single for like a year and just be single. When I met her Before that time, and I remember thinking, oh crap, there's something unique and special here on a different level, more than just sexual attraction. There's a spiritual connection. There's something deeper that I can see a vision of something incredible that I couldn't do on my own, right?”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But not compromising your core values and your authentic power. If we are compromising our authentic selves, we are essentially saying, screw you to our Creator. You've created us for who we are. And no, I don't want to be this way for one human being because it doesn't make them feel good or it makes them unhappy or they're afraid or scared, as opposed to who can I be if I'm 100% myself in life. And I'm not saying like if you've got flaws, adjust those and prove those like I'm all willing to improve and adjust all my flaws. But if it's something that's at my core is my personality, I'm not changing for anyone. Why? I want to be changing for one person. That just doesn't seem like a good, I don't know, situation. And I've done it for too long.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, for me, I don't believe in compromising who I am. If you're like, listen, this week I want to go to this place for restaurant and next week you can choose. That's, I guess, a compromise of like activities.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But it's not real love if it's inauthentic. If you're having to change who you are to make someone happy, I just don't feel like that's real love. I'm all for making adjustments and alignment with certain things, but it shouldn't be changing your core essence of who you are to make someone happy. That's not real love.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So exhaustion, man. You know, I take full responsibility for whatever relationship I've chosen and been in and stayed in because I could have gotten out of any relationship at any moment. But I was afraid and I lacked the really the self-confidence to step away because I was afraid of losing love.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Months of this healing work and finally started the process and feel this inner peace. I said, listen, I'm going to be 100% authentic to who I am. I'm going to obnoxiously be myself around you. And I'm letting you know I want to be so obnoxiously myself that I hope you run away. I hope you run away because I'm never going to change. I'm not going to change for you or anyone else. I'm going to evolve. I'm going to constantly improve, grow. I want you to be willing to give me feedback, but I'm not going to change of something you're unhappy about, about me. Here are my values. Here's my vision. Here's my lifestyle. This is what I'm going to be doing. I'm not going to change this stuff. Just letting you know. And it's been a beautiful journey because it's amazing to see what it's like having authentic trust and someone receiving you for 100% who you are and feeling like I can be myself. I never felt this until now. It's beautiful.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Know, I was looking to create to buy peace by abandoning myself, but you can't buy peace. We must be peace. And if someone is okay with that, great. And if they're not, then maybe you're not in alignment. And that's okay. But I was not willing to let go of the feeling of love. It was a false love. It wasn't authentic love because authentic love is accepting the person for who they are and them accepting you for who you are. It's not trying to change the person. If you're trying to change someone, you shouldn't be with them. We should be elevating each other to grow. But if there are fundamental things about you that I don't like and I'm trying to change you, why am I in a relationship with you? Go find someone that you don't need to change and vice versa. And so my girlfriend Martha. We started dating and I'd”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Abandoning myself over and over again. And I didn't know how to say no. And how to be around someone who was unhappy with me in intimacy. I could do this in business and friends, but in intimacy when there was love, I didn't know how to say no. And so I just gave in to create peace. And what I realized is that”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I would say, okay, I'll change this to make you happy. Okay, you don't like me doing this? Okay, I'll stop doing this. Okay, you don't like me salsa dancing. You don't like me traveling. You don't like me speaking. You don't like me doing okay, like whatever is going to make you happy because there was love there. And I thought that when you love someone, you'll do whatever you can to make that love stay, to make it last. And so I would give and give and give. Who I was in order to create peace and love. And what I was doing was creating incredible pain, resentment, and anger and frustration with inside of me of the person, of the relationship, and of myself.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Over to my dad and never stand up for who she truly was. This is all unconscious. It wasn't until about a year ago when I started to learn this and process it. So I was choosing partners that after a period of time, they would get upset at me over and over. I've lots of different things. They just weren't happy with who I was or the actions or decisions or things I did in my business or whatever, whatever it was that made them feel like they were insecure or something.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And when I learned the art of emotional regulation, that's when everything started to change. And I learned a part of that at 30 until 37. But in intimate relationships, I still hadn't learned how to fully love and honor my authentic power. I still gave in because I deeply wanted people to like me. I deeply wanted the person that I was giving my heart to love and accept me. And yet I was choosing people based on a wound still from my parents, from my mom, you know, giving in, from my mom not feeling probably loved and accepted and kind of repeating that pattern of her with my dad, I was finding partners like that. And I was taking on the mother role, like kind of what my mom was taking on. And I was giving in. I watched her give in over and over.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like your father, so explosive, yeah, extremely explosive. Again, it was more of like, I didn't heal a lot of things from my childhood. It wasn't like one thing for my dad or the sexual abuse. It was kind of like the entire childhood. All the stories and all the examples that made me feel like I'm not lovable or I'm someone to be taken advantage of was still inside of me. So it wasn't just one thing or one experience. It was all of it that was building a case for me to be reactive and explosive and feel like, you know, the world was just out to get me or something.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean getting in fist fights on a basketball court in a pickup game that's supposed to be fun and reacting so much to someone jabbing me you know in the ribs or smack talking me talking bad or just like talking trash and being so reactive”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, 30 is when everything started to change because that's the moment. Allowed myself to be vulnerable for the first time. I just thought I had it figured out. And what I realized is I knew nothing.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“but from interactions with human, experiences, adventure, learning new skills and hobbies, and just progressing as a human. And I think, you know, even from the sexual abuse, I'm not mad at it anymore. I'm not hurt by it anymore I hope it never happens to anyone in the history. I don't wish it on anyone. But I also know that it gave me an incredible gift because I've healed from it. I've taken my power back from that. And I know that it's benefited me now because I've rewrote in the story about what it means about me. And I think if we can rewrite those stories in an empowering way, then we are not powerless. We're powerful.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think you got to ask yourself if they died today, would I be happy with how I communicated, how I showed up? And maybe that means you need to disown your parents for a season of life because you're not able to get along. But are you still happy if you did that with everything you tried to do from a loving, calm, healed place? It's your healing journey. It's not about what they do or what they didn't do. It's about your healing journey. And I look at it as a gift from everything I experienced from my childhood. You know, I don't look at it as a painful thing anymore. You know, I'm not living in fear from the memories of my past anymore. I look at it as, God, I'm so grateful that I grew up feeling insecure, unlovable, and really dumb because I cared deeply about loving other people. I care deeply about being a good listener and showing people how much I care. I care deeply about wisdom and knowledge in a different way, not just from school and books.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Opening up and healing certain things that maybe aren't healed yet. Are we having the conversations that are unspoken? And I think I feel like I did the best of my abilities to do that with where he was at emotionally and mentally. And I would encourage you or anyone listening or watching to ask themselves on a scale of one to 10, how is my relationship with my father, my mother? And if it's not above a seven right now, what can you do? Not about them, even if they're the parent. What can you do to reach out and communicate? How can you take responsibility for your part of that relationship? And you just never know in any moment.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This is my friend Jesse Etzler made this example one time to me and to like the audience. And he said, and his father just passed away actually a couple weeks ago. And he said, My parents are old. They're in their 80s or something like that. And maybe they have five or ten more years, but it's really five or ten more times with them if you only see them once or twice a year. Not five or ten years if you see him two, three times a year Maybe you have three times if it's a year. Maybe you have ten times if it's four years that you experienced a moment. Person with your dad Hopefully he lives ten, twenty years, but two, three times a year is really 20 times left with your dad. And when we put it in, I just got chills thinking about that. When we put it in perspective like that, Are we giving as much as we could to the relationship? Are”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Last month It made it even clearer. You know, there's so many opportunities for someone like yourself and myself at this stage of our life and our careers. A lot of opportunities can seem incredible. Here's a big money making opportunity. Here's a cool project I can do with someone. Here's these things that are coming my way. But if it's not aligning to my mission of something greater, if it's not aligning to my ultimate level of joy and authentic power, then should I be doing it right now? If it was all over in a day, in a month, in a year, is this something I would say yes to? And so it's just bringing me closer to that awareness that how it could all be over in a moment. And it brings the energy back to like my relationship with my girlfriend. I'm like,”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“One of the things that taught me was that if this can happen to a guy who feels large in life in a moment, when he was on vacation with his then partner at the time, not my mother, they got divorced. But they were on vacation having a great time. If this can happen in a moment, at any time, then it brought so much urgency to my life to make sure I pursued the things that really are meaningful to me. And for years, there were things that I had to do that I wasn't loving. I had to work really hard to get to that place. When I was broke and had no money on my sister's couch, it wasn't like this all just unfolded perfectly. It was years of effort, work, late nights, all that stuff. But it made me just say, what is my mission? What is my intention for this season of my life? And am I doing everything in my power to live the way I want to live? Because if it could be over in a moment, I got to shift my attention to things that really matter. And so that was a big, powerful shift for me. And when he passed.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Some weather because of the The best way to describe it. You see what I mean? So, yeah, I think one of the things that it taught me 17 years ago was that my dad also felt larger than life. I don't know if your father felt that way. It feels that way as well. But he felt large in life. He was extremely intelligent and smart. He was very charismatic. He was resourceful, talented. He was a big lover. He loved people and he gave his heart in a big way after this transformation. And he cared deeply about relationships. Like I witnessed things he did that brought smiles to people's faces all the time. Is probably a lot of things that I've like translated in my own life”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Something shifted in me seventeen years ago when my dad got in the accident and then something shifted even more in the last month and a half when he passed and That is hard to explain. I don't know. I haven't really fully processed it. It's still kind of a processing time. And there's some a lot of gratitude and memories, but a lot of sadness tied to it. But I just don't think I'd be the man I am without his accident because it made me unleash something inside of me that was untapped.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't think you'd be writing books or all these things, but something shifted within me because he was physically alive but emotionally and mentally not there. So I didn't have that access to a relationship. Something shifted in me where I couldn't rely on him for money, for kind of that wisdom. I had to I just had to unleash something new that I didn't think was inside of me. And I don't know if your parents are still around or if your dad is still around.”
2022-04-14 · The Diary of a CEO · The Single Biggest Killer Of Relationships: Lewis Howes · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT