YouSaid · the spoken record

Mark Manson

lines on the record: 127
first: 2022-12-30
most recent: 2022-12-30
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“Wardrobe people and security guys and everything, logistics. And I asked them once, I was like, do you ever feel like it's kind of weird just having this like? Of people that just shadow you everywhere you go. You know, I was like, when was the last time you cooked a meal for yourself? And he started laughing at it. He's like, I don't know. He's like, look, it's really simple. I am world class at one thing. And yeah, it'd be very easy for me to be the humble guy and cook a meal for myself and send the chef home. But I'm only world class at one thing. And that would take away from my time and energy from being world class at that one thing. And not only that, but my chef is world class at one thing. And by sending him home, I am taking away from his ability to be world class at the thing that he's world class at.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Time he steps out of the door. Yeah. But one of the things that he helped me see, he said this to me too, is he said, you know, he was like, I'm very aware that every encounter I have with a fan is a very asymmetric encounter. For me, it's five seconds that I'm going to forget about. Within a minute. For them, it's five seconds, they're going to remember for the rest of their lives. So he's like, just put in the effort for those five seconds. The payoff is so monumental for the other person that there's kind of no. Ethical argument to not do it. The other thing that he said that was really profound for me, because as you can imagine, he's got this like full staff of people that just follow him around the world. He's got cooks and chefs.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was blown away at the way he worked with his team, the way he was with his fans, the way he dealt with the media. I mean, to be honest, dude, the first time I hung out with him and I saw him get mobbed by fans, my immediate reaction was like, man, I should be nicer to my fans. I think Will is nicer to his fans than I am. He is Will Smith. He's paddling.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“loving but flawed human being in terms of what I learned oh and you asked earlier what I learned from him it's funny because that project he does have a marvelous story of resilience and overcoming I mean he come he comes from a very dysfunctional family and abusive father grew up on the streets of West Philly like very rough neighborhoods and it's actually very remarkable how he navigated that avoided all the pitfalls that come with that sort of upbringing to get where he is today. It's definitely not an accident. So that story's amazing, but there was nothing in it that really, there was no epiphanies for me personally. The epiphanies for me personally were just being around him as a professional, you know, being around a guy like that who's been at the top of his game, top of his field for 30 years, one of the most famous human beings on the planet.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I publicly wrote a piece about it as a newsletter. It's on my website. The TLDR of it is basically Yeah, he did something really stupid and unacceptable. But as somebody who spent a lot of time around him, and not just him, his family, his friends, getting to know his kids, getting to know his brother, he is honestly, there is so much generosity that happens with him that nobody ever sees. And it's very much by design. Like he doesn't feel a need to publicize it. And so just seeing what I've seen being around him, I kind of told people, that's not the real him. That's like the worst side of him. You know, the will that you know and that you hope is real is. That's the real will. He's a very great.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But it was a wild and fun two years with him. He is honestly, I mean, as you can imagine, I get so many questions since March about him. But honestly, he's such a great guy deep down. Obviously, he makes mistakes and does stupid things. Like the rest of us, but I have nothing but gratitude for that project. It was very easy to write. It was very enjoyable. The way we did it was I presented the outline. We kind of refined it together. I wrote the first draft. He did a revision of that. And then me and the editor at Penguin kind of like did a final pass. So it really is both of us in that book. Like it's a lot of people assume it was all me or assume it was all him. I don't know. But like it really was both of us. Like he put a lot of work and effort into it. And he really cared about it.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Through all your defense mechanisms into your fame, into all the success, until that facade collapsing, and eventually finally ends up at love, at a very genuine, authentic love, which is kind of something that it took him a long time to get to. And I said, and as you move through all those emotions, there's a word for somebody who's able to move through setbacks and deal with any sort of negative emotion and harness it to advantage them. And I said it's will. So that should be the name of the book. It was like the fresh prince came back. He was just like, hell yeah. He gets up, starts like slamming stuff on the table. He's like, hell yeah, hell yeah. We doing that. And I'm like, all right. So I got the gig like. But yeah, it was a...”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And then also kind of talk it to him a little bit about some of the hurdles that he went through in his life, his ability to adapt to set back, to reframe it in a way that is helpful to himself. It's really incredible. Like he's one of the, and I know this seems strange to say after the Oscars incident, but he really is one of the most emotionally intelligent people that I've been around. And so we had a dinner of the last night. He kind of just out of the blue was like, so what's up, Mark? We going to do a book or what? And I was like, well, I've got an outline in mind. And I said, I told him the thing I just said about emotions and his ability to use his emotions to adapt the things. I also said it's probably why he's such a good actor is that he's able to summon emotions and play with them and react to them in a masterful way. And I said, so I think the book should be built around emotion. It starts with fear. It moves.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“One on one conversation with him. Before I went to meet him, I had two conditions for myself, which was the first one is he can't be an asshole because I just, no amount of money, no amount of prestige is worth spending three years working with an asshole. And in two was, you know, there needs to be something legitimately. Everything needs to be on the table. He needs to be very willing to open up and kind of go anywhere. So we had a few really good, productive conversations. And I was blown away. The thing that really knock my socks off about him is I mean he's a smart guy obviously he's very hardworking guy obviously his charisma and his ability to read a room and react in a way that makes people feel comfortable”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What do I do with my hands, Ricky Bobby I told one of his managers. I was like, I've never been on a Hollywood set before. I don't know if I'm in the right place or not. She just kind of looked at me like, really? I was like, sorry. You know, so next thing I know. They finished rehearsing. We go straight to an airstrip, getting loaded onto a private jet. And they're like, no, no, no. You need to sit in the front with Will because you're going to talk about the book now. And I'm like, now like this is, okay. First time on a jet. So we're being whisked away. So the whole thing is just surreal and strange. And everywhere he goes, there's a mob of fans waiting for him, people shrieking. So it took a few days to kind of like get over that, get in a room with him. privately where it's quiet and actually have kind of an extended”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you're supposed to just kind of act casual, like this is all normal. So he finishes their rehearsing a scene or something. And I'm like, don't, I'm like walking in circles, not knowing where you're supposed to go. And his people are like, are you okay? And I'm like, where should I sit? I've never been on a Hollywood set before.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's hard to explain, but next thing I know, I'm getting whisked away to Atlanta, where I'm supposed to meet him on set of a film that he's working on. Turns out Ang Lee is working on, he's directing that film. So I start don't fanboy it, Ang Lee. Don't fanboy it Will Smith. Like, oh God, this is so stressful.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I said, it would have to be an A-lister. And they would have to want it to be more than just about their life. They would want to like dig into their problems and history and baggage, et cetera, which is, as it so happens, exactly what Will wanted to do. After that, we set up the meeting super, surreal. I don't know, I always tell people the craziest part. About meeting a really, really famous person isn't actually the really, really famous person. It's all the shit that goes on around the super famous person. It's the...”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I co-authored Will Smith's memoir, which came out last year. It's called Will. We worked on it for about... About two and a half years together. The way it came about was his team actually reached out to me. He had wanted to do a book for a little while and From what I understand, I wasn't there, but from what I understand, he had some kind of casual meetings with a few different authors. And just to kind of see what was out there. When they contacted me about it, first of all, another story of my agent being great, my agent didn't tell me about it right away. The first thing she did is she sent me an email and she said, hypothetical question, if a celebrity wanted to write a book with you on what terms would you be interested, which is smart because she didn't tell me who it was”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Don't drink nearly as much. Everybody wants to go on a hike. They want to surf. They want to go hang out on the beach. So it's been very good.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was completely unprepared for how influential moving from New York to LA would be in that factory because you were absolutely right. All social life in New York revolves around eating and drinking alcohol. Yeah, after seven years, it adds up. Like it really adds up. Whereas in LA”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My whole thing for 15 years now has been all about How people think and feel and helping them deal with struggles and pain in their life better. And I'm sitting here and I'm like, wow, not drinking for a few weeks, going to bed at like 10 p.m., I feel 20% better on a day-to-day basis. How did I not realize this before? Like, how am I so late to this party?”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And, you know, I had gained probably 25, 30 pounds, the little exercise I had been doing before then, went out the window. My eating habits were terrible. My sleeping habits were terrible. I had massive circles under my eyes. And I kind of had just this come to Jesus moment of like, dude, you can't put this off any longer. You have to do something to take care of it. There was also a little bit of a... Humbling that had to happen of realizing that after a number of years of trying to do it myself, that I just for whatever reason, like this part of my life, I don't seem to have good decision control. So I hired a coach and that was super helpful. And it's speaking of that kind of snowball effect, the further I go down the path, the more I want to go down the path. And I also feel a little bit stupid because”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was writing three books at the same time. You know, I was living in New York. I'm traveling. I'm on planes like, if not every week, every other week. And I was actually sitting in my office one morning. And it freaked me out. You know, I have a history of heart disease in my family. And I was like, I'm fucking 37. Like, this can't be happening. So, you know, sat down, went to a doctor, ran all the tests. Everything's fine. He looked at me and he's like, Have you had any stress going on in your work lately?”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Actually, I don't, I'm very fortunate in that regard. I just got fat. I mean, especially, I mean, we're going to get to my run the last five years and all the projects I did. You know, I overworked, I overdid it. The wake-up call for me was actually I was writing three books at the same time. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, no, you know, you know, like how stupid that is.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Never going to get easier or better. So it's not a sexy answer, it's kind of a blah answer, but it's the last year especially has been very, very health-focused. I've actually been listening to a shitload of your episodes on subjects like that. It's been very helpful.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, this is going to be a bit of a blase answer, especially probably for you and your audience. I have always struggled with the physical health side of things. Spent pretty much all of my 20s kind of getting my head in order, getting my baggage cleaned out, fixing my relationships, understanding my emotions, developing self-awareness, all these things. You know, I was always so focused on that that I never really developed good habits around taking care of myself. And so I'm at that point now in my late 30s where you actually pay for those bad habits. Because when you're 28. Don't really pay for it, but like These days, I hit a point a year or two ago where I realized”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Decommission thank you for your service. You're no longer necessary. I would say probably in the neighborhood of 500, 600.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Second place was seven strange questions that help you find your life purpose. And then the number one question was, what is your favorite flavor of shit sandwich? And does it have an olive?”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I put it away. I woke up the next day. I was still unsure about it and I sent it to my content guy, official title. And I told him who also kind of acts as an editor for me. And I told him, I was like, I don't even know if I want to post this. It's pretty ridiculous. And he came back on Slack and like all caps. And he was like, you can fire me. I'm posting this fucking thing. He's like, this is the best thing. We have to post this. And sure enough, he was right. Like it just, it went absolutely crazy. It was everywhere.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I wrote it and I thought it was completely over the top and ridiculous. And sometimes when you write something, I'm sure you have this experience, like you can't really tell if it's good or not. Like you're too close to it.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My wife, who I was not engaged to yet at the time, there was like visa trouble. So she was stuck in Brazil. So I'm like, I was actually in Austin. I was sitting alone basically just moping in Austin for a few weeks. And when I get mopy, I get very, very snarky and like bitingly sarcastic. And so it was time to write an article and I pull up the list and I see that title and I'm like, you know what? I'm going to write the most offensive profane thing I can possibly imagine, but I'm also going to give the best possible advice that I can, I imagine I can give. I'm going to combine the two things and I just want to create that like dissonance in people.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sat there for many months. It never really, I never really felt the inspiration to do something with it. And then there was a period that holiday, the Christmas and New Year's right before that. As you said, it came out January 8th. That holiday was really shitty for a variety of personal reasons. It was just one of those Christmas holidays that you're like, fuck, why do I have a family? Like, do I have to spend time with these people? You know, I was coming out of that in a pretty bummed out state.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So my mind, I was already kind of existing in a headspace where I'm always on the lookout for like a clever use of the F word. And so I was listening. I was a huge fan of Lamb of God and that song comes on on my iPhone or whatever, the subtle art of murder and persuasion. And I was like, the subtle art of not giving a fuck. And I was like, wow, that's really catchy. And then it sat on the document for a while, and then it's actually funny kind of how the article got written.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Another thing about Facebook's algorithm at the time, I noticed that if I just put fuck in the title, you would get like 50% more juice. Yeah, exactly. So it was just like a cheat code for Facebook”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Dozens and dozens of titles. And I also just kept around title ideas that I had. You know, I just had a Google Doc that I'd be out at dinner with a friend and he'd make a joke. And I'm like, oh, that'd be a really good article title. And I'd like pull up my phone and jot it down on the Google Doc. The subtle art, the title had been sitting on that Google Doc for a while. And so I'm a big metal fan. And the band Lamb of God has a song called The Subtle Art of Murder and Persuasion. And it was right around that time. I forget.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Attention grabbing headline, a little bit of copy, have an intriguing image, you would just go crazy on that platform. And so the big growth spurt that happened in my audience was on Facebook from 2013 to 2015. Subtle art was actually one of the last viral articles I had in a series of probably eight or ten viral art, like very viral articles over that two-year period. I kind of discovered this and then started refining a process. And as you pointed out, like a huge part of the process was title. I just realized like the title is almost as important as the entire article itself. So I started spending hours just writing out.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Not really a way to answer that without kind of going back a little bit and talking about what that era of social media was and what kind of my whole process was back then. I think I had my first mega viral post in 2012, early 2013. And it took a while for everybody to figure out, but it was right around then that Facebook turned on the spigot of reach for outside published material. Like Facebook kind of decided that they wanted to be the newspaper for everybody. So if you were able to write”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's just the human problem. Like, you know, I don't really think it's valuable for me to sit here and write things like top five first date locations, you know, whatever. I should be talking about this deeper level stuff because that is what everybody seems to be struggling with. So that was also part of the transition of getting into, I guess, what you would call more traditional personal development topics.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Boundaries is the best thing I've ever heard. It's better than any female advice that I've ever seen. I started getting email after email of that. So it occurred to me that it no longer made sense to limit myself to Simply writing for men. And so I took that step. The further step of just rebranding to just my name, I'm going to write about for everybody. And initially it was mostly dating relationship advice. But the other kind of thing I started to notice around that time as well, by then I had been writing dating and relationship stuff for like five years. When you really dig down into it There's no such thing as a dating problem. Every dating problem is simply a personal, emotional. That is manifesting as a dadian problem.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So the transitions Happened The pickup stuff kind of started 2009, I'd say, the honesty vulnerability stuff the next year, 2010. And then what I realized, I think in 2012, either late 2012, early 2013, something really strange happened, which is I realized that 25, 30% of my audience was female, which is bizarre because I'm explicitly writing men's dating advice and it is written in a way that it's like dudes in a locker room talking to each other. But a lot of, I kept getting emails from women saying, I don't relate to this or that, but this advice you gave about”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Neck shirt on it. Am I making that up? It just Is that a real thing? I had a goofy picture of me with like a scarf and sunglasses.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“To like press the right buttons to get her into bed. And yeah, I guess you would say that was another, like that's when that ball started picking up bigger and bigger. Items”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Also, just the dynamics of everything was so performative. Nobody actually really cared if you were having a good time or not. Nobody cared if the woman you met was really smart or interesting or funny. You know, it was just like, did you make out with her? Did you get her phone number? No. All right. You're not on the scoreboard tonight. You know, like that was kind of the extent of their thinking. And so I started to become pretty grossed out by it, but also at the same time, I realized that there was very much an opportunity to integrate some of those more healthy emotional elements into it. So I rebranded my website, my blog, my little blog as practical pickup. I started using my real name. I started promoting honesty, vulnerability, actually giving a shit about who you're talking to instead of just trying.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So that's what started to take off. And I kind of found myself in college. I dabbled in the pickup artist stuff. My blog started to get accepted in those circles, guys started asking me to coach them. They wanted to do calls. They wanted to meet up with me. You know, they wanted to bring me down to New York and go out the bars with me. And as a guy with nothing else going on, that was really enticing. It was really exciting. And so I kind of got sucked into that world for about, I'd say, a year, year and a half. And then was pretty strongly turned off by it. It felt very, you know,”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So back then, Google was rewarding blogs. And the idea was you build up a blog, you create a bunch of articles about whatever the topic is. You get a little bit of traffic, and then you either put ads or do like affiliate links. So I had a blog for feng shui. I had a blog for teeth whitening strategies. I had a blog for kind of trying to remember, oh, like bartending, like mixology and bartending. Keep in mind, like half the stuff I didn't actually know anything about. I just Googled other stuff and rewrote it. You know, it was a very, not the greatest work I've ever done, but in a way it was putting in the hours. And meanwhile, I had the entropy blog, which was still writing about my dating life. And ironically, I guess I had to learn this the hard way. That was the thing that actually caught traction because it was the thing that I actually cared about and I actually thought about a lot from my day.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You and I have had a complicated relationship. You're not aware of most of it, but. No, no. I mean, it was a difficult but very, very rewarding period in terms of just trying all these different websites and blogs. SEO pages and AdSense pages and 90% of it doesn't work. And then the 10% that works, it brings in $100 a month. And you're like, okay, well, if I can just do 10 more of those, maybe that gets me somewhere. And so it was a very... You know, it's one of those grinds that you look back with like some nostalgia and like, you know, there's a little bit of romance to it. Like I would never, I don't think I'd ever be able to stomach it today. But as a broke 25 year old. I'm really proud of it”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just opened my mind to so many possibilities. The hate side of it was I thought it was going to be so much easier. I thought, you know, like. The way you describe some of those examples of like, oh yeah, this was like a month tops. Meanwhile, a year and a half later, I'm still grinding like 12 hours a day. So, you know, I went through a period of like, god damn that Tim Ferris. Like, what the hell was I thinking?”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Like a lifetime ago. Yeah. So I found that and I read it. So to your credit, I read that book and it blew open my mind in terms of like what the possibilities were. I was just like, oh my God, you could do all sorts of shit online and automate this stuff. And oh my God, I'm going to be living in Argentina and this is going to be great. I'm like, sign me up, dude. Let me, yeah, I'll go buy. Argentina, here I come. Exactly. So I had a very love hate experience with that book, but in hindsight, both were good. So the love side of it was.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, I started getting curious about, I guess you would call it like kind of the online marketing, online blogging world. And it was around that time I discovered four hour work week, I think it had just come out or been out for like a year or something.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That was a little bit mind-blowing to me. And it was around that time I started to get very curious. I was just out of school. The great recession was going on. There are no jobs anywhere. I was basically living on a friend's couch. It kind of opened up this idea of like, hey, there's internet stuff you can do. Like you can, this blogging thing is actually a thing you can promote products and get commissions. You can put ads on your site. Like you can make a little bit of chump change if you think about it and are strategic about it. So this story is going to lead to you, Tim. I gotta, I got to warn you.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I was twenty three and And doing things that 23 year olds do. There was really no Again, Forrest gumping my way into it, right? Like there's no ambition or at that stage, there was no ambition or vision for this. Like it's just a cool thing that my friends want me to do. I enjoyed it too. I found that was kind of actually the first point in my life that I discovered, hey, it's really fun to sit down and write something just because you enjoy it, not because it's a term paper or whatever. So that went on for about a year and I don't think the quote unquote readership was probably never more than a dozen people. But then something strange started happening, which is people that I had never met Started reading it and commenting on it. And I have no idea how these people found me or where they came from.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh god. Well, ironically enough, it was originally my gaming handle when I was in high school. But it was my, I guess you call it a pseudonym of my first blog. I started blogging. My roommate had a blog in college and he and I, the pickup artist thing was popular at the time. And so there was a lot of kind of writing story like, oh, I went on a date last weekend. This is what happened Him and another friend of mine were kind of always agging me to start a blog, dude. Start a blog. And it was really just because, you know, we all read each other's stories and stuff and they wanted to read mine. So that's actually how it first started was just me, my roommate like peer pressuring me into sharing stupid drunk things I did.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. And it was maybe a week later I was talking to my editor. He goes, hey, congrats. And I was like, for what? He goes, Molly moving to CAA. I was like, yeah, why are you telling me congrats? And he just looked at me like I was the biggest fucking idiot. I was like.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I want her on my team. So I called her back and I said, I'm in. And she's a total rock star in her field. And again, Forrest Gump moment. So. Right before Subtle Art came out, she called me and she said, Hey, I just want to let you know I'm moving to a new agency. Nothing's going to change. I'm going over to CAA and I was like, oh, cool. What's CAA? And she was like, you know, kind of like thought I was joking, I guess. She didn't answer me. And I remember I Googled CAA. And if you go to their website, it just has a snail mail address. There's like literally nothing on the website. Nothing.”
2022-12-30 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #647: Mark Manson — The Path to 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,' The Ups (and Downs) of Success, The Craft of Writing, Personal Reinvention, How to Build a Lean Team, Protecting Boundaries, Decompressing with Fiction, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT