YouSaid · the spoken record

Matt Mochary

lines on the record: 139
first: 2023-03-01
most recent: 2023-03-01
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“Then all of a sudden a collective sigh of relief goes through your come. It's silent. You won't hear it, but it'll eliminate fear. And when people eliminate fear, then their brains work better and they'll perform better for you. So you can actually look at this as a very self-interested action. I think it is. You don't need to be selfless to help people when you let them go. You can be very selfish and actually do this. Now the second part of your question was, well, what about criminal behavior? Tim, I like your edge cases of the hundreds of companies I've coached and the tens of thousands of employees, maybe even hundreds of thousands of employees within those companies.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“In a job search. And of course, what your friends can do to be helpful to you is help you begin, help you create the setting for that so you don't have to do it completely on your own. That's the corollary here. The manager can help take the first few steps for the person so they don't have to take those steps entirely on their own. That's it. That's all we're talking about here. That's firing well. And the reason it's important to do, because obviously you think, well, this person isn't capable. And why should I be helping them and spending time with them? Shouldn't I be spending time with people who stay here, who want to be here, who are performing? And the answer is that the people who stay are watching. And they're watching how you treat this person. Because everybody at the company thinks at some point, I might be let go. And if that happens, what will happen to me? And if they see that you treat this person who got let go well and really help them,”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So let's take the ones that are just firing well generally. And you basically heard it, it's recognizing that when someone gets let go, it's a major life trauma. There are sort of three pillars in your life. There's your home where you live. There's your most significant relationship. And then there's your job. And if any one of those collapses at any one time, it's a major trauma. If two collapse, or even God forbid, three, it's like, oh, mental game over. And you sort of reboot. And so recognizing that when someone is experiencing trauma, their brain just does not work well. So it's very difficult for them to do a job search and advocate for themselves. I mean, there's a corollary. You just lost your significant relationship. Now you're thinking about the effort. It's not a job search. It's a partner search and the pain that how it feels overwhelming so you're just not even starting. Whereas the same thing, people have.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Becoming the person's career agent. You say, this is not working here, but I want to help you find the place that's going to work for you. So I know that you're passionate about A. Right now we're having you do B, and you're not great at it. But A, you're great at. Let's find a place that needs A, and I will wholeheartedly recommend you for A. In fact, I'm not going to just recommend you. I'm going to go out and advocate for you. I'm going to set out tweets. I'm going to send out emails. I'm going to send out text to people saying this guy or woman is fantastic at this. Can you please consider them? Because as an agent, one hour of time spent will equal a hundred hours of time spent by the candidate themselves. Once you're able to separate the two, once you say, what's best for the customer? Clearly that's what's best. How do I minimize the damage on the person that gets hurt? Now you can actually go forward and you can make a good decision.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You, what do you really want? You don't want to be the bad guy. You want to not impose pain on someone. You actually want to help someone find their place where they can have what they want, which is financial security. So what do you do? You then think about how can I achieve that in the implementation? Well, you can achieve that by”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If you're making a decision just for the customer, clearly you would let go of this person, but you know this person is in the middle of getting a divorce, Christmas is coming, and their children, you know, how will the person pay for the private school tuition their kids are in, and you don't want to be the one to impose that pain and suffering on that person. So you have a really hard time making this decision. But if you separate the two and think, okay, customer needs this person let go, this person will be pain, and I will be pained too. So I'm going to get hurt by the implementation. Then think of, well, what does this person who's going to get hurt by the implementation? What is it that they really want? So the person who's going to be fired, but they really want is financial security. They want to find a place where they are valued, they are needed, and pays enough money to cover their life expenses.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Insanely good, and she shared with us this rubric, which is really identifying fear that oftentimes when you're having a difficult time making a decision, it's because you're conflating the decision itself with the implementation of the decision. So it's pretty damn clear what you need to do, what the right decision is, because there's a constituency here that you're trying to optimize for. So in any organization, there's a human that you are prioritizing. So if it's a company, you probably prioritizing the customer. If it's an investment firm, you're probably prioritizing your LPs. If it's your own personal life, you need to be prioritizing you. And then there's implementation. There's someone who, when you know what's right for the customer and you implement it, someone's going to get hurt. Maybe it's that you have someone who's not performing well.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This was something I learned recently. One of the beautiful things about my coaching is that I feel like I'm the student. I have not invented anything. Everything that I do I learn from somebody else or read in a book, which is also learning from somebody else. And I'm just packaging it in a way that's easy to understand. So this comes from Wee Dang, who is the CEO of Clipboard Health, who just, she's mind-blowing. I've learned so much from her. And we were sitting around at a Sequoia CEO retreat that brought like 10 CEOs to Kauai to see me. And the idea was I was going to sit and coach them for three days. And so I did. We're getting their bring up their issues. And sort of, we went, but I didn't want me just to be sitting there. So I would have everybody sort of write in their thoughts. And then whoever the CEO would answer, they were more drawn to, they would ask that person to expound. And Lee Dang ended up being the person that people wanted to hear from way more than for me and me too. I mean, her answers were insane.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Focus me is an online app, costs five bucks a month, which just sets you up for this. They just pair people who are both have admin tasks to do and they're alone. And for 50 minutes, you just sit on a screen with someone. I mean, it's freaking genius.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It may most of the times the people have really latched onto this are extroverts. Just because they're feeling even more pain. Only one way to know Tim. Would you be open to trying it? See if it works.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The room. Creates a sense of peace, enough of a sense of peace that these tasks no longer feel so annoying because our body is no longer so sensitized. We're sensitized, extroverts are sensitized when they're in the alone position. But when they're not alone, their bodies just aren't as sensitized. And so these tasks become less onerous. And I've literally hired people to sit in my office with me on a couch reading a book while I do administrative tasks and it works. And I've recommended this to dozens of people and they now do it and it works for them.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I find that they're generally personality types that I encounter when coaching. And one big bucket is introvert versus extrovert. And obviously it's a sliding scale, but people generally fall one side or the other. And extroverts, I've noted, and I'm an extrovert, just feel more comfortable around humans. And there are these solo tasks. This goes back to in the beginning you talked about your anger, your frustration around having to do these administrative tasks that don't create any value, but only you can do them because you're the investor named investor individually, so only you can get the K1 and your assistant can't get it because she's not you. And what a pain in the ass. And you've got to do it. And you're probably doing it alone. And you're probably going, ugh. And so I have things like that as well and plenty of extroverts have things. There's some amount of stuff you just got to do. And so what I've noticed is in my own life, and I've recommended this to many people and they've done it like, oh my God, that's amazing, is just having another living breathing human in.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Written out, so they can just copy, paste, use with their team members, and then it works with their team members as well.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My coaching is all about driving towards an action. And I have a system. And the system is all about writing that down and checking to make sure it got done. And that's it. And I find it works with individuals. It works with teams. It works with companies. And it's called accountability. And it can be done in a micromanage-yaneful way. Or it can be done in a, I'd like to help you succeed way. And of course, as a coach, you can stop coaching with me anytime. So it's much easier for me to make it feel like I'm trying to help you succeed way. If I'm your boss and you're giving you a paycheck and you're afraid to let go of the paycheck, then it can easily feel like I'm micromanaging you. But there is no difference. When I coach someone, I become their manager. Period. End of story. And if by the third meeting they feel more successful, more engaged, more empowered than they know the system works.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I mean, a lot of people ask me, you know, Matt, what's unique about you? Why are you considered the best CEO coach? And I have a hard time answering the question because I think what I do is very simplistic. But one of the things I've noticed that I do different than others is this, what I call bias to action. Like we're not going to leave a conversation without you having at least one, two, or three actions to take because I think this time spent together is so expensive for you, for me, frankly, that if we're just going to think deeply about things, come to answers that are likely very likely to work, and then not turn them into actions and do them and me not follow up and specifically see if you did them, but then just go to another meeting two weeks from now and start all over a super expensive time and ideate, but not have done anything in between. To me, it's just like my stomach curls when I think about that.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You'd be like, oh my God, this is great. I actually predict him that it's not going to be three months before you're having more fun than exhausting. I believe it's the first event that you show up to, which will probably be next week.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, if you don't do it, I'll literally ask you why, and you'll say, Oh, I forgot, or, oh, I don't know, I just felt tension or whatever it is. I'll say, okay, do you still want to do it? And you'll say, yes, I still want to do it. Great. What can you do to not forget it again? What can you do to not feel the tension, whatever it is that blocked you, what can you do to not get blocked? And then you'll declare that and you'll do that thing. And then you will actually go ahead and do the action. And once you do that action one time, then it's done. Then that the dam is broken. And you're flying. So once you do this one action, Tim, the hardest action you're ever going to do in this whole process is the very first. Because once you do the first, all of a sudden, it'll work. Your friends will organize things and they'll be fun.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly. And then I'll just follow up and make sure you did it. And there's some amount of shame in not doing something when you know someone out there, a real life human being knows you committed to it. And so you will do it, or you won't. And then I'll ask you why. And you'll come up with some BS excuse.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay, great. And I'll check in on you at the end of the week to make sure you've actually done it or what you can do even better is once you've done it, please ping me. But either way, we'll check to make sure it gets done. And really, Tim, that's. That's it, coaching right there. I force you to write down in action because when else will you have the time to think about this in this dedicated?”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Fantastic. How many friends would you like to ask? Because they're all going to be super eager to jump in and set up group dinners or invite you to dance classes”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Perfect. So basically have it be that Matt won the bet in three months. Perfect. Yes. Okay, great. What's one action you can take? What's the next action? You need to take towards getting there.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This is where my coaching is revealed as being insanely simplistic and nothing magical at all. And the audience will go duh, of course. And that is get out there. Get off the damn couch. Make a list of three things you want to do this week or one thing, one thing that will advance. The goal is to meet someone that you connect with on an insanely deep level eventually. What is one thing Tim you can do? Is that the goal? Tell me what the goal actually is. Three months from now, you will say, damn, I crushed it as long as what happened.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“All the people you mentioned, this is where we started. And they did have something they felt fear about. And I did make a bet with them. And they did the thing. And turns out my prediction was right, not theirs. And then boom, mind-blown. Then they started to be very perceptive when I said they were in fear. But then over time, they started to catch themselves being in fear. And now they no longer even need me to point it out because they catch themselves and they see the pattern. And so they lean into the thing that they feel fear about. And it's giving them such big gifts. that now the pattern is broken.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, this is really common. Dating? No, this is a first for me. In terms of fear. Absolutely. I mean Pretty much every single person I coach, this is where we start. And so”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And if you win, then from now on, whenever I can never give you Point out that you're in fear and outsource you're thinking to me. You're in control for the rest of your life.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So we'll pick a time frame and I'll just ping you and say, Tim, more fun than exhausting or exhausting than fun. And you'll come back with an answer.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you're going to have serendipitous experiences that delight you. That's it. I say more fun than exhausting and you say more exhausting than fun. And I'll trust you.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Excellent. More exhausting than fun. That's a definitive I predict the exact opposite. I think you're going to have more fun than exhaustion. You're going to meet a ton of super fun people.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But once we make that bet, and if I win, then the reward is that in the future, whenever you share something with me and I say, hey, Tim, you're in fear, you got to outsource your thinking to my prediction, not your prediction. And this is the mechanism that helps people click and realize, oh shit, my fear really is giving me bad advice because they really do believe the prediction. So Tim, I'm going to try to nail you down on something you think will actually happen, but not likelihood, but some of you think it can be little.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“100%. Where I'm driving towards him, and I'll just give away what I'm doing is I'm driving towards getting you to predict something that you think actually will happen. And the reason is because I want to prove to you that your fear is making an exaggerated prediction. And the only way I know of to do that is to make a bet with you. So you're going to say, I predict A. And then I'll say, you know what, Tim? I don't think that's going to happen. I predict B, which is the exact opposite. And I've made these bets hundreds of times, and I have never lost. And that's not because I'm a magician. It's because I'm not in fear. This is your life. The consequences to you, not to me.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Absolutely. Perfect. Two predictions. One, I'm going to get out there. I will not have this filter for whether someone is really into me for me. And therefore, I'll only find out later. It'll be disappointment after disappointment after disappointment. Two years later, I'll be right where we are right here, right now. I could have just watched Netflix for two years and been in the same place. Second prediction is that someone somewhere will accuse me of something that I didn't do. Is that right?”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Perfect. I have tears already working negatively on me in that it's causing me to sit home. But the fear of if I get out there, that's really what I want to hone in. What happens then? Because the fear is that people will come at me for a transactional reason and I won't know that they like me for me. What happens then? What bad thing happens then?”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Let me ask you what do you predict will happen You're now going to at some point be back in the dating pool. What do you predict will happen? Are you going to be single? That we know. We're going to be single. What do you predict will happen? What's the bad thing you predict will happen?”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's a certain point we're going to dive in. Maybe we'll do that now. So Tim, now that I've understood where you are, there is more, and I could ask you to keep going. In fact, let's go one layer deeper. There is more Please tell me more.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I appreciate your vulnerability because you're trusting all of us by sharing this. And so now what I'm hearing, Tim, is that really what it's about or additionally about is that let's get to the chase. I'm famous and I'm recognizable. People know who I am. And so when people come at me if I'm going to be in the dating pool and women come at me, I'll never know or how the hell will I know? Are they doing this on a calculated basis because they want the famous Tim Ferris? Are they doing this because they actually like me for me? And how the hell will I ever know? I haven't figured out a way of knowing up until now. And that's my fear. My fear is that I'll just will have no idea. Is that close?”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Okay. And I always want to make sure I really understand what's going on. So I'm always going to make sure that I acknowledge you until you say, yeah, that's it. Tim, what I'm hearing is you weren't in a five-year relationship where you were, this was your best friend. And now that's over and recently ended. And your thought is, how in the hell Can I recreate that and the effort that I went to to find this person who really was, I thought my soulmate in such huge amounts of effort. I just don't want to go through that again or can I even? Will people even find me attractive or whether they do or not just the effort required? Is that close?”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The juiciest one there is your relationship and being on your own now. And so if you don't mind, that's where I'm going to go.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We pick someplace where you're feeling either fear or anger and we unpack it. And of course, it's going to be pretty easy for me in the audience will see too. It's going to be pretty easy for them because they won't be feeling fear or anger about the subject. Only you will. So you're going to be the only one that has blinders on. The rest of us will see it pretty clearly.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sounds great. Fear and anger have good signal in that they warn, hey, there's something new here, pay attention. But usually the predictions that the brain then makes are far exaggerated and are trying to get us to do something to stay alive. But the reality is in this modern world, it's not a saber-toothed tiger that's attacking us and might actually physically kill us. It's some threat to our ego that will make us feel bad. And so that it's unnecessary to yell at someone because we might feel bad or it's unnecessary to not tell someone, hey, this performance that you have, it's actually not good enough. You need to do this in order to really perform well. But because of fear, we don't want the person to get hurt or rage quit or whatever. We don't give them the feedback at all. And then they continue to have their performance. So it's the predictions that are exaggerated, not the warning.”
2023-03-01 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #658: CEO Coach Matt Mochary — Live Coaching with Tim, Why Fear and Anger Give Bad Advice, How to Perform Personal Energy Audits, The Power of Accountability Partners, Delegation Tips, Strategies for Hiring the Right People, and More · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT