YouSaid · the spoken record

Mel Robbins

lines on the record: 104
first: 2023-12-04
most recent: 2023-12-04
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Lived inside of body and a brain for too many decades going. I think I'm the only one who feels this way. I think there's something wrong with me. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to fix this. And it's simply not true. You're not the only one. There is somebody on this planet going through it and has changed your life the better. And if they've done it, so can you.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That comment makes me One of the reasons why Think I'm so driven is because I know how many people Go through life day to day feeling invisible and stuck. Not seen And so, if I can share Any small thing that I've done that has made a difference or any detail. About a challenge that I'm facing, even if it's complaining about menopause and hot flashes and bloating. If that means one human being out there somewhere across the world goes, I'm not the only one. That's why I do what I do. Because”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'd say I have a bazillion answers to this. Like, I wanted to say getting out of bed every morning when I don't feel like it because that. Ability to feel resistant. And get out of bed and face the day Skill that you need for any change and I face it every day and every way. I think the most difficult if you were to measure it in time. Challenge would be rewiring my nervous system if that's even possible. Technically, that's probably not a thing that you do, but to deprogram all of the crap. That was there. And you can't get rid of it entirely. But to make the pathways in my body that used to be driven by either trauma or fear or anxiety that were so hardwired to make those not be the default and to put. Gain a level of self awareness. Have the tools to be able to catch myself and be like, oh Going to be the grizzly bear right now.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Um'cause they're cool. I mean, you know why it makes me emotional is because I know they're choosing to spend time with us. And I saw this thing on, it's floating around. I'm sure you saw it too, about how the amount of time you spend with your parents just declines over time. Like literally goes off a cliff. And so I just love the time that I have with them because I think they're all really interesting and unique. I love that they choose to spend a lot of time with us.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Another goal is to have a great relationship with my kids and my husband. I think having It's very fulfilling to have Our adult kids be such good friends. I really love that.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“If you Google it or you listen to an expert on the topic, it really does depend on your personal history. Because if you've had any form of breast cancer or history of that in your family, it can be very dangerous or life-threatening for you to take hormones. And so again, I have a lot to say about this because I'm in the middle of it, but I don't know a lot. And I think that's the thing that's scary.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And the hot flashes started to come, and it's too much information for me to talk about all the other symptoms that you may feel when you go through menopause is basically like, well, you know, it'll take about 10 years and then you'll bounce back. That is not acceptable when it comes to how we can care for and empower more than half of the people on this planet. It is exciting though because I do believe that somebody will figure this out soon, that there will be more research. There already are companies popping up all over the place that are doing really exciting stuff. It's just kind of one of these issues that's really confusing because”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it is an enormous part of how a woman's body functions. Like if we pull away all the skin and what you see is all the wiring, the fuel that is really circulating through a woman's body is estrogen and other hormones. This is, again, I am not a medical expert. I am just a woman who is trying desperately to figure out how to make sense of an extraordinarily important topic that until recent years has not been looked at with the scientific rigor that it deserves and demands and that women around the planet need. And it has just been kind of like an afterthought that, okay, you're going to take some hormones and then that'll be that. You'll be through it. I mean, most of the advice that I got when I started to get the thickening.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, here's my take on it, Stephen. Thank God it has. Because if you look at the fact that women were not included in the medical research until the late 80s, and you realize that more than half the population are women, and that menopause and women's hormone health was a chapter in the Obi Gina.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The fertility cycle of women. And so we now, for most of us, will have another 30 or forty years if we take care of ourselves. And that's a long time to live a very vibrant and amazing life, which I believe that we can, and to have a body where your entire system needs estrogen and yet your body is starting to lose it. And so that's part of the reason why there's so much interesting research going on around whether or not the answer is to just keep us menstruating so that we're naturally producing this in our bodies.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Overwhelming. And I even feel my cheeks getting hot, so it could be a hot flash coming on. I don't know. All I know is I'm drinking my water and I'm taking my pesterone and I'm doing my estrogen patch. And now I've tried the blood draws and everybody has a different opinion. Is it your gut health? Is it your estrogen health? I don't know. I just know my body is changing and some days I feel like a pass, a mare that's being put out to pasture. And part of the issue is the lifespan.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Health women's, you know, I'm not a medical expert, so I'm trying to learn all this stuff to educate myself. Do I take a pill? Do I put a cream on? Do I have this little patch? Do I sleep on a pad that makes me cold? So my husband won't like complain that I'm sweating through the sheets. Do I on bamboo shit? Like it is so.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“On this. And I think as a woman, it's very frustrating to know that women were not even involved in medical research until the late 80s. And it's even more frustrating to know, and look, I could be wrong on this, but we had an expert on our show explain that they only use postmenopausal women because they don't want women's hormones to throw off the results of the testing that they're going through with medication. And so it just feels like a massive gray area for more than half the population. Our entire network from the brain through the entire body is running on estrogen. There's new research around just stopping menopause altogether because women's”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And yet they're not working. And my body is expanding and brain fog is increasing and I am like a furnace to sleep next to it. And all of which is a function of the changing levels of estrogen in my body. And what's very challenging about dealing with kind of hormone changes is that there's so much conflicting advice out there and to truly know what's going on in your body, you have to be drawing blood. You have to be looking at what's going on in the inside. That is extremely expensive for most people. It also is a big maintenance issue. It's a gigantic pain in the ass. And it doesn't feel like anybody really has a good handle.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, because it's really confounding. And it's confounding because there's, I don't even know if that's the right word. It's overwhelming. Everybody my age is talking about it because what happens is you start to lose control of your body. And you're going through all of these changes that you feel like you are not in control of. And so, you know, I realize I look like a very lean person. And so the truth is that I am a very lean person. I have not changed my habits in, I don't know, eight years. I have very, very healthy habits because I force myself to do things I don't feel like doing.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I think it makes perfect sense, honestly. But it was just a game changer. And it was a game changer to know kind of the distinction between boys and girls and the link with anxiety in terms of it developing in a pronounced way for those of us that have had this experience of having this as a diagnosis, learning it late in life, and then tracing it back and going, oh my God, I've been treated for anxiety for all these years when the real issue was this attention issue. And if you take Gabriel Mate's theory, which I think is probably accurate, dial it back even further and it's probably some form of childhood trauma that put a kink in the wires.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You're both paying attention to the survival signals in your body at the same time as the chaos in your house. And even if you're tuning out the parents who are screaming at each other, you are still tuned into it because heaven forbid it escalates. You gotta know”
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“Well, it makes a lot of sense, right? Because if you also have a really chaotic environment, it might not be safe for you to tune out. And so you've got to stay in that hyper vigilant mode, which I think would fry the conductor in your brain.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And my orchestra conjector cannot shush anything. So the second I sit down, if I'm going to study, I have to do two things. I have to be able to quiet all the ambient noise. I have to be able to quiet all the signaling in my body. So that what I can amplify my attention on what I'm reading. When this part of your brain doesn't work, what ends up happening, or at least this is the way that it's been explained to me, is that I can't focus on my books because I'm paying attention to the fact that my stomach has grumbling and I hear people walking and that I'm looking around and then I'm paying attention to the fact that I have to go the bathroom so then I'm up, then I'm walking around and that is how I lived for a very very long time.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And what happens when this part of your brain is not switching properly is you are like Mel Robbins in college and I would be with my books and I would be in the stacks at Baker Library at Dartmouth College and I'd be there because I'm going to study, right?”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you can think about it this way. If you think about the prefrontal cortex, this kind of part of your brain really has the job of almost being like a conductor of an orchestra. This is the best example that I've heard in terms of what's happening if you have ADHD. And what's happening is if you think about an orchestra and the orchestra's warming up, right? And it's like And the drums are ting, ding, ding, ding, ding, and people are shuffling in their seats. We know that sound, right? And then all of a sudden, the conductor's like. And everybody is silent, right? In order to conduct an orchestra, you got to be able to do two things at once. You got to be able to Lower the volume on the strings over here, and then you got to be able to Amplify the focus on the percussion over here.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“ADHD is not about your inability to focus. It is about the fact, and I'm sure you probably have dug into this, and you know this, but for anybody, anytime I talk about this, the number of women that are going to write in, the number of dads that will write in about their daughters, the number of people that say, oh my God, I had anxiety in high school too. Now I've been diagnosed with ADHD and it was because of my kid going through this. And this is exactly my story. It is happening over and over and over again. And so here's what really also helped me, Stephen, and it's this. Understanding that focus and the ability to focus in appropriate ways requires two different neural networks in your brain.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Radar screen, you now have a generation of women who are developing anxiety at big levels in high school and college. I was textbook, and so we get treated for the anxiety and medicated for it without addressing the underlying issue all along, which was undiagnosed ADHD. So for me, it was absolutely life-changing. And it was life-changing to understand that”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Tested and you don't address it. Do you know what the number one thing that happens? You develop anxiety. Oh, really? Well, of course, because you're sitting in a classroom and you can't get yourself to focus and you're disorganized and you start to feel the sense of alarm that you're going to walk into a test and you're not going to be able to do it, that you're going to yet again open your locker and the stuff's going to fly everywhere, that yet again you're going to forget your friend's birthday or you're going to forget to do this thing. And so all of this anxiety rises to the surface. So get this. They call us the lost generation of women because what do you suppose if we were not diagnosed? So I'm fifty-five, if I'm in elementary school in the late 70s and they've only studied boys. And so none of this is on anybody.”
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“Little bit more disorganized and they aim all of this back at themselves. And so as you become kind of more inward and you are inattentive and you're disorganized and you start to wonder what's wrong with you and now plus the average age of girls for puberty is right around then too. So all this other stuff is starting to happen and hormones are starting to change. If you don't get properly diagnosed and treated and by treated I mean the whole array of things that you can do, whether you're talking about medication or just the different habits that you can have or systems that you can develop to support yourself. If you don't get properly”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What was interesting about getting the diagnosis because I didn't understand what ADHD was. I always thought that ADHD is that you can't pay attention. Same. That's not what it is at all. And so learning about what it is and learning that boys and girls present completely differently. So there's an entire generation of women. I don't know if you know this, but there's an entire generation of women called the lost generation. And what happened is when they were studying ADHD, I guess in the late 60s and early 70s, they only looked at boys. And so boys tend to show the symptoms of ADHD around the age of seven. And it typically is around the hyperactivity or the inability to kind of like focus and control their body movements. Girls, on the other hand, don't start displaying symptoms until about the age of 12. And the symptoms are very different. Girls become inattentive, but in a kind of daydreaming fashion, they become a”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Maybe if I have ADHD and he puts his paper down, Stephen, and he goes, do I think you have ADHD? Of course you have ADHD. You are the most ADHD person parent in my entire practice. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, Mel, you're brilliant. And yet you never do what you say you're going to do. You will leave here and tell me you're going to call. You never call back. Your kids go years without coming in because you miss all their wellness appointments. You scramble every single year for the physicals that your kids need. And you beg us to take it is clockwork. Of course you have ADHD. And I look at them, Stephen, and I'm like, why didn't you tell me? He said, because I'm not your doctor. And so I went and I got the testing, Stephen, and turns out, yes, ADHD, dyslexia, same profile as my son.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Testament in the school. And luckily, we were at a point where we could afford to go get, I think it's called a psychographic, something, something. It's like a long word. And sure enough, the testing comes back and the PhD neuropsych guy is like, yeah, well, he has profound dyslexia. He has profound dysgraphia. He has executive functioning issues, which is basically the conductor or the secretary in the brain sort of helping you stay organized in a couple steps ahead. He has ADHD. And as I'm reading through this report, I'm sitting in the pediatrician's office, Stephen, and I'm looking at this report and I'm reading it and I look up at his pediatrician who I had become good friends with because we had three kids in the practice at this point. And I'm like, Mark. You think”
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“And the reason why we didn't know, and the school didn't know, is because he had so overcompensated in the classroom by being so verbal, first kid with the hand up. Blah, blah, blah, blah, like talking, talking, talking, that nobody knew that he was having trouble. And all of a sudden, the math problems get harder because they become word problems. All of a sudden, reading comprehension and, you know, not to mention the fact that he also had dysgraphia, which basically means that it looked like he was writing with his feet. I mean, his handwriting was so bad. And I was befuddled by this because he could literally sit in front of the TV and play video games for hours and have hyper focus and all this dexterity. So I just thought, oh, he's acting out. He can't stand school. So we have this great teacher in the public school system who says, you really need to get him tested.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well it was amazing, absolutely amazing. You were recently diagnosed, right? So it changed everything because I finally had an explanation. For something about the way that my mind worked and the way that I felt that made me forty seven years feel like there was something defective about me. And I couldn't figure out what it was. And I was diagnosed the way that most women that are adults are diagnosed. And it goes a little something like this. You have a kid? So my husband and I have three children and our youngest, Oakley, was this just amazing kind of casserole of things. And one of the things that he was is that he had a lot of trouble in school. He just We didn't even know that he couldn't read. I mean,”
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“Is something that runs people's lives. It makes you avoid. It makes you shrink. It makes you live in silence. It makes you deny what you're feeling. And too often the fear that we feel the most is we're afraid of what other people are going to say. We're afraid of other people's reactions. Let them have it. Let them be human, let them do and I'm not saying let people treat you poorly. What I'm here to tell you is that when you take responsibility for your truth, And you take responsibility for expressing it And then you take responsibility for your boundaries. And you take responsibility for your healing You do have the possibility of living the rest of your life. In a completely different way.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Thank you for sharing that. I, you know, one of the things that is profound about the Lethen theory. is that if you're in a situation where you're terrified of somebody's reaction? Tell yourself, let them. Let them have the reaction that they're going to have. Because if you allow the space for your parents in that situation to have a really horrible reaction, you've anticipated that it's coming and you've also allowed them to be human. And you empower yourself to then do what you need to do for yourself, which is to say it out loud. And to tell the truth about what happened to you. Because it's not about your parents' reaction. It's about you finding the courage and making the decision and taking the action to say this happened. And that's the beginning of your life moving in a completely different direction Because fear”
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“Because it might not be the fancy cars or the things that you see, it might be a sense of peace. It might be that they seem to have a great family life. It might be that they have a very vibrant energy to them, that there's something behind the stuff on the surface that really is aligned with what is hardwired in you. Pay attention to that because those dreams are there for a reason. See, I think that they are the beacons out in the future that are directional signals. Just because you have this dream doesn't mean you're going to get it. The dream's purpose in your life is to get your head out of the sand and to look out ahead and to point you in a different direction.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You can't feel jealous of somebody unless you authentically. Want something for real that you think that they have? And the jealousy happens because you have somewhere in your psyche told yourself you can't have it. And that's why it comes up as negative. But I want you to consider if you were to allow yourself at this time of year or right now after this podcast to just span the world and ask yourself, who am I either inspired by or who am I jealous of? Give yourself permission to do that. And then get curious. Well, what is it exactly?”
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“That right there changes your direction. You know where you're starting from, and you ask yourself, well, if my health is a two, what would a five look like? And can I work towards that? And to me, that's what goals are. Goals are that sort of point on a map that are your next couple steps. Dreams are something else. And dreams are just as important because dreams are That moment where you pick your head up and you get really quiet. And you tune in to what your mind body and spirit is telling you. You kind of aim that inner compass. Out into the distance, and you ask yourself, where do I want to go If you think about five or ten years from now, and the easiest way for me to figure out that is who am I jealous of? That usually shows up a lot faster than who am I inspired by? Because jealousy is just blocked desire.”
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“Sort of like if you think about directions, it's mathematically impossible to give somebody a set of directions unless we know you're starting point and where you want to go. And most people pick their head up and go, I want to go there without going, well, where am I right now? And so just take out a blank piece of paper and write out all the categories of your life. There's no formula for this, literally. You could do 10 different categories. You could do five. You could do relationships, money, my health, my happiness, and just rank them. Where are you? One to ten, one to five, whatever you want. And explain why. And I think a really good goal is to simply say to yourself. How do I make this number two or three points higher?”
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“Yes, of course, right? A before and an after. The reason why there are more people that go to a gym on the first of a month is not only because of the incentive with pricing, but it's because it's a temporal landmark. Quarters in a business, temporal landmark. But January 1 is a really huge temporal landmark. I think it's very important to do an assessment or an audit of where you are before you jump into what's next. And I think this is the piece that everybody misses when they sit down and they write out a list of goals. The most important part of setting goals for yourself, I believe, is first understanding where you are. And there's a simple exercise that you can do.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Something called Soul Degree. And it's been a real passion project of his. He just does two or three retreats a year. He just opened up next year's registration and sold it out in 24 hours, which tells you a little bit about the demand and the desire for people to have deeper experiences and deeper connection. And to kind of circle back on that topic about goals, if you want to go there. I think it's very important this time of year when January first rolls around. January 1st is what's called a temporal landmark and a temporal landmark, I'm not going to get the definition right, but it is this term used for moments of significance, moments that create a before and an after. And we've all had experiences on birthdays.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, he came out of his restaurant business, a broken human, because the venture did not succeed. And he felt like an abject failure. And based on all the messaging that men in particular get about providing, he felt like he had completely failed his wife and his three children and all the friends and families that had invested. And as I scrambled and did whatever I could to start try to keep us afloat, when things started to take off for me, the shadow that I cast just made him feel even worse. And so he was looking for something that would allow him to really reconnect with himself, to connect with other men. And so he created.”
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“Going to go into this wide open. I'm not going to allow myself to get triggered by it because I am saying I know who this person is, I know what's going to happen. I've been in this dynamic for years, and I'm going to let them do what they do. And when that happens, you also kind of it's almost like an emotional force field that goes up.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Instead of pulling that energy back in and going, oh, well, if it really bothers me that my sister-in-law never comes to visit me, then I clearly care about this relationship. And so, do I care about them me being right and them always coming to me? Do I care about tit for tat? Or do I actually just care about building a good relationship with somebody? This is also extraordinarily effective if you're dealing with somebody that has any toxic tendencies, any narcissistic traits. Like when you look at the research around, especially narcissism and the fact that people are not born that way, they're made that way. And it's highly unlikely that they're changing based on the supply that they constantly need when you go let them. I'm going to see what's coming. I'm going to anticipate what's coming. I'm going to let them have their tantrum, which is what typically happens.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, and I also feel like there's a healthy dose of curiosity in this because it's going to reveal all the things in your life that really bother you. Because right now you're distracting yourself by being upset about other people.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't think it's selfish at all. I actually think it's one of the most generous things you could do. How is not controlling other people a selfish thing to do? I'm not saying I don't care. I'm saying I'm aware that you are an independent human being with his own feelings and his own life path and his own values and expectations. And when I step in and try to fix everything for you or change how you feel, I actually rob you of both the breakdowns that you need. I rob you of the responsibility that you need to take. And I don't own the part of the equation in every relationship. Every relationship has an energetic exchange. I do something. And now you are going to react. And are you going to react based on what's aligned for you? Are you going to react as a way to try to change how I am?”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It makes the responsibility of how you show up entirely on you, which means you are now operating based on your values and based on what you want in your life and based on the kind of person that you want to be. Not because you're doing it out of obligation or manipulation or that sort of transactional nature that we get into with people.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's very correlated because a lot of us are putting our energy into trying to push other people to show up a certain way. When if you were to pull all that energy back And conserve it for yourself. Suddenly start taking responsibility and you have more energy to take the steps and to change the way that you think so that you can have what you want in your life. And there are exceptions. Look, you're not just going to let somebody get behind the wheel of a car. If they've been drinking. So if it's dangerous, if it's self-destructive, if it's discriminatory, you have to step in, in my opinion, and do something. But here's the rub. Hold the intervention with your friend, who is an addict, offer to pay for the treatment center if you can afford to do so. But then you have to let them. What they're going to do”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Somebody had an expectation about where we should be. Normally the old mal would get hooked right into that person. I just expect let him that the people in your life are allowed to have their emotional reactions. And it's not your responsibility to manage their emotional reactions. Part of the reason why we get hooked into these toxic dynamics with people is because you're part of the dynamic. Somebody does something that triggers you. You go right in, you start to change how you show up. You start to compensate. You start to people please, or you get all mad and angry, and next thing you know it erupts and it's the same thing over and over and over again. And you wonder why it never changes? Well, part of the reason why is that person's never going to change. You cannot control that. But you can change the energy you're putting into the dynamic.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Very much so. So when you start using it, you will notice how often you get agitated or frustrated by what other people are doing. And it's strangers in a coffee shop. It's your relatives? We were just in a situation here in the States for Thanksgiving where we were down visiting my parents and they're in a place that's small. So we had a place that we had to rent so that we could all kind of be together, but it wasn't that close. And every time it was a moment where it was, are we going to their house? Are we going to our house?”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, probably. Or I didn't, I don't ever invite anybody out. Or if I want more experiences with my friends, I should be the one organizing everybody to go out to brunch. Or maybe my friends can just go out and I don't have to always be included and it doesn't have to mean anything. And maybe I've got work to do with therapy. And so what happens is as you start to use let them to lower your expectations, to stop focusing on other people and what they're doing, it forces you to take responsibility for what you want in your life.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Bothers And when you say let them, you're acknowledging the situation and you're almost saying I'm above it and I'm permitting this because I see it happening. And then something really interesting happens because you're no longer all worked up about what they're doing. You are forced to look back at yourself Let them. If my friends are going out to brunch and they didn't invite me and it bothers me that much, and I'm just going to let them do it instead of sitting here stewing about it. What do I need to take responsibility for?”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that opinion is usually driven by your insecurity, or it's driven by your controlling nature, or it's driven by your anxiety, or it's driven by whatever it is that you may have. But once you get your energetic hook into somebody else, you have now just lost control because you are now trying to gain control of anything in your life, what your friends are doing for brunch this weekend, by focusing on them. When you say let them, this is what's very interesting. It's very different than saying, I'm just going to let go, I don't give a hoot, I don't care. Baloney, if you're feeling a wave of energy about it or emotion about it, you do care because the emotion is evidence that it is impacting you. And so most people understand that you should just let it go or you shouldn't care, but they don't know how. When you say let them, a couple really interesting things happen. Number one, you acknowledge what's happening, which both acknowledges that your friends are out to lunch without you, and it also acknowledges that it bothers you.”
2023-12-04 · The Diary of a CEO · Mel Robbins: "Saying These 2 Words Will Fix Your Anxiety!" The New Trick For Stress, Anxiety & Breaking Every Bad Habit In 2024! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT