YouSaid · the spoken record

Neil Pasricha

lines on the record: 133
first: 2022-10-18
most recent: 2022-10-18
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Six out of 100 chance that you might have an education. You're in the top 1% of your making over X dollars a year. And we keep going down that curve. We're lucky to be here in the entire universe that we've inspected as far as we can with as many cameras we can point at every distant direction with shutters that we can open for a year and come back with pictures and galaxies and radio transmissions. This is the only place we've ever found in the entire universe where life can exist. And we're happened to be alive at a day and an age where we can talk, where we can interact and we can communicate with each other across time, across distance, across psychologies and spaces and cultures and languages. You and I can be talking right now and someone could be watching this in Urdu and we could have been dead for a hundred years. And it would still be going because we get to be a lot today. Let's remember the lottery, Shane, and no matter what else, let's remember.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That collective set of freedoms is rare. If you happen to be, and I'm guessing the majority of the people listening may, and I know not everybody is, so I want to be careful, but I want to just say, keep going down that opportunity curve. It's a 1 in 15 chance that you're alive.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They'll never have another bowl of ice cream. They'll never kiss their kids goodnight again. You won the lottery. You're already here. If you happen to have a post-secondary education of any kind, you're one of 6% of people in the world who does. It's a gift to be educated. And if you don't, when you're listening to this, you do. You have wonderful conversations on the show. So to get the gift of education is a whole other gift. If you make more than $5,000 a year, you're above the world average. If you happen to make more than $50,000, you're in the top 0.05%. You know, we talk about the 1% like they're other people. No, they're us. We are. We're lucky. And if you happen to live in a country where you trust the water that comes out of your taps, where you feel safe when you walk out your front door, where you can marry who you want or live where you please.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think that the three words I would plaster on the billboard are remember the lottery. Remember the lottery because you know what? At the end of the day, we have to remember that we've already won. There are $115 billion, Shane, who have ever lived in the world. If you're watching or listening to this right now, you're one of the 8 billion people who are alive today, which means by de facto 107 billion of the other people are no longer here. That's a one in 15 lottery that you've already won. It means, in other words, that 14 out of every 15 people, 14 out of every 15 people will never see another sunset.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Want everybody to take away. First of all, I just want to say. Like you're great at questions, you're questions. You're just like, the reason it's fun to have a rolling conversation with you is because you're just such a great conversationalist. Thank you for the opportunity and for the privilege of talking to you today in this wonderful space with these people recording us in front of this beautiful community oriented tourism learning. I really don't take that lightly and I really appreciate the opportunity. Thank you.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Flash raw ugly We're all beautiful, we're all wondrous, beautiful beings of love and energy who get to exist right here, right now as animals that we've been for three million years but came from the water it's nice to go back to that water and remember that and I think holding on to that two by two in my head has been helpful for me when I've caught myself dashboard like swerving between the other three boxes I just carry with me how can I have a high opinion of myself and a high opinion of others I'm prone as I'm sure a lot of us are to those feelings of insecurity then they flip-flop into feelings of arrogance then they maybe flip to cynicism if I can think great of myself and great of other people then I navigate life with more confidence it helps me be more intentional when I'm choosing which of the three forms of success I want on the project and therefore I'm living a more intentional and happy life because I'm”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's insecurity. And we've all been there too. Well, what is confidence? My definition is a high opinion of yourself and a high opinion of others. So it may or may not take a trip to a nude beach to figure this out, but we're all beautiful.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Double chin. Everybody else looks great, and they're all. Sorry, I didn't notice your double chin. I've been looking at, I was looking at my fat thighs.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“High opinion of others, low opinion of yourself. Well, that would be insecure. And again, we're all, when you get back a group photo, what do you do? You look at the picture of you and you're like, oh my God, I look at my hair. Oh my God.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“On his last episode of the Tonight Show, Conan O'Brien said, Please, I implore you, do not be cynical, it's my least favorite characteristic, and he ended the show on that note. Cynicism, you know? Don't think great of yourself. Don't think great of other people. And we've all been there sometimes. Now, what if you think you're awesome, right? High opinion of self, bottom right, but you don't think everyone else is that good. Low opinion of others. Arrogant. That would be arrogant, right? We've probably all caught ourselves thinking that way sometimes. What if you're the opposite? You think everyone else is great? We've touched on this a few times in this conversation, but you think you stink.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Confidence takes confidence to go to a new beach, or maybe not caring, right? But here's the thing. I think that life is a river. It's a river and there's rapids and confidence gives you a way to paddle through. If you think about it like a two by two matrix, one axis that's called the bottom axis is your opinion of yourself, low or high. That's the x-axis. The y-axis is on the left side and it's your opinion of others. It can be lower high as well. Well, if you're in the bottom left quadrant chain and we are all and all of these quadrants some of the time, I just want to say that up front. It's not like you just live in one place. If you're low opinion of yourself and your low opinion of others, you're in the bottom left quadrant and you would be, I would declare you to be cynical. Cynical.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Relationship between Yeah, right. Absolutely. And I think there is a relationship there, absolutely. First, I just want to say for anyone that's wrestling with body issues like me and Jane and probably most people, I think that's most people, Shane. I don't think it's out of their really highly want to recommend the picture book bodies are cool by Tyler Fetter, F-E-D-E-R. It is a wonderful book for all ages. We read to our kids probably once a week.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because the number of years you have to take care of a child may be going up a little bit, but it's not going up to 30 or 40 or 50 years. If your lifespan goes up that much, you've just dramatically shifted the percentage.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“By the way, an argument towards having more kids. It's another thing that I people say, why do you have so many kids, right? People get asked me Leslie all the time. We have four boys. They're like, why do you have so many kids? I say, the percentage of my life that's the hard part, the diapers, the potty training, the crying is reducing as a percentage of my total life. Ask anyone with the pleasure, the most pleasure parts are of having kids. Oh, when they're you don't have to take care of them your whole life. You just get the stories and the big table at Thanksgiving and you get the person giving you an idea that you haven't talked to and you get the Christmas cards. That percentage goes up.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. We didn't need more rocks. Even 100. Look, my father right now is we record a 77. He was born in 1944 in Amritsar, India. Probably a lifespan 50s and 60s. So he's living 10, 20, 30 years past his expected lifespan from the time of his birth and the places of his birth, right? And so, yeah, right now life expectancy is 30,000 days. That's North American life expectancy. It's 25,000 days globally, by the way, which is 68, 30,000 days for North America, which is 83. So it's like, we're living 30,000 days today. If you want to work hard at it, and I listened to your podcast with David Sinclair, like, you know, there's lots of ways we can invest in our longevity, health span, not lifespan, right? Then yeah, that'd be wonderful because we're only here once. And it's nice to, you know, take as much, give as much, live as much, and have as rich and fulfilling and as giving of a life as possible.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Certainly not that important when you zoom up to even a week, probably, or a month, probably, or a year probably. Certainly not the rocks. So I use that rock as a visual clock on my dresser to glance at before I go to bed. And I look forward to the day six years from now when I move the next rock forward, right? Because then I can actually pause and say, hey, what really mattered from the last 10 years that I'm still thinking about right now? Probably three things.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I keep the other six rocks six inches back A clock that I see every night before I go to bed, I move one rock up every ten years. I create the same metaphor that the Long Nile Foundation is creating in a mountain, but I don't live near that mountain. I'll never hear that clock. And it's on my dresser. What is the power of that Shane? No matter what happens in the day. No matter how high or how low it was. No matter what nasty email I got, what one-star review I read, what person told me off, whatever happens, no matter what. Well, you look at the clock before bed. You're like, It falls away in the face of a rock representing the next ten years of your life.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You've heard the Long Nile Foundation. You know about the 10,000 year clock that Bezos and the Long Nile Foundation are stabbing to the side of a mountain to dong every hundred years or whatever to give us the idea and principle that what we're living in isn't we're living in a long now. We should be thinking in terms of big 10,000 year kind of epochs. Well, for me, the 10 rocks represent a decade each of my life. They come from a day I did something far outside my comfort zone okay so it sticks in my head and I hope to live to 106. I have a I have a calendar entry for my wife's 100th birthday when I'll be 106. So March 2nd which is her birthday, that's the year that I'm 106 is that's the day I plan to you know eventually take that pill and end it off right but what am I saying 10 rocks that represent 10 decades I keep four of the rocks at the front of my”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You could stay in your hometown and go to somewhere you've never been before. That feels like a big lurch. And you will remember it forever because you pushed yourself. It's your climbing up the cliff thing, right? But what was happening for us was it was a way to grow outside of our comfort zone and you wrestle with body issues completely when you are naked in public. What I did that day was I collected 10 smooth stones from the beach and I took them home as a way to kind of remember that experience, but also to create for myself a rock clock.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, I relate deeply to that. I relate deeply to body issues. I was the only brown kid in my class. I was the smallest kid in my class. I've got skinnier wrists. I've got skinny ankles. I had thick coke bottle glasses in a school where I was the only one of a different color and no one else had glasses. Never mind, you know, the buck teeth and all that. So I've had body issues my whole life too. And you know what? I would guess most people watching or listening to this too can relate to that. Well, I heard an old Brian Chesky quote, and I know you're a fan of his, and he said that when they evaluated what actually created memorable experiences on vacation at Airbnb. So founder and CEO of Airbnb was talking about they did an analysis on what actually creates a memorable vacation. Well, it's when you do something inside your comfort zone, Shane. So I was like, wait a minute, I can just do that. Like, I can just do that without going on vacation. You could go on a vacation and sit in coffee shops and sit in a Lux Resort and have no fond memories of your wonderful trip to Jackson Hole.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Absolutely. Everything we're talking about is hard to do. Look, the goal is not to be perfect. The goal is to be better than before But if you just take one. From the 38, we've talked about, then you've improved, you know, just one. The goal is not to be perfect, it's just to be better than before. Let's remember that above everything else here today.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You were actually chasing fun. So, if you want to make Hail to the Thief, it's not quite as good as OK computer, so it's not going to do as well. But if you make kid A, well, you're having fun. There's no guitars or things released online. Like, what a wild trip that was. Did it sell as much as OK computer? Probably not. But it's damn good listen because it's something so different. And so I think your answer to how you follow up success is actually rooted in that essay, which is you go back to fun. You listen to Diablo Cody, recognize you don't have to chase that goal anymore, and just lean into the fun and guess what the ironic part about that is, Shane, that's more likely to cause future success.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Essays about tennis, which is a wonderful book, both flesh or not about Roger Federer is a doozy. And that essay actually opened the other book I want to recommend to people, which is called Both Flesh or Not, and includes that essay, Nature of the Fun. What he says is when you have achieved commercial success, your instinct is to try to follow it with further commercial success. That's why the stroke second album sounds like, is this it? Right, right. But actually, what you're forgetting is that what made that thing successful in the first place was that you were actually only chasing fun”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, I will also say that success. Say you're going for the million books thing and you hit it, which, by the way, is still a shock and surprise to me that my first book. Did so well. There were a lot of lucky bounces. There was a lot of people way out of my range that said, this is a book you should read, etc., etc. But it has partially, it's partially what enables me to have this conversation today because I'm now only writing what I want to write and I'm only working on the projects I want to work on because I have taken that goal off the table. It's not long or something I'm actually actively striving towards. I therefore get to focus on the art. And there's a wonderful essay written by David Foster Wallace, who I know you're a fan of because I can see string theory on the wall behind us.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I love a quote by Diablo Cody, who you may or may not know is the former stripper who wrote the movie Juno, which was nominee for Best Picture, right? That movie went to be nominee for Best Picture. It was her first movie, right? And I mentioned the former stripper because she's got an incredible memoir about her exotic dancing days in Minnesota, which is a wonderful read called Candy Girl. Just as an aside for people this far in the listen that want to book record, there you go. She was asked, okay, Diablo Cody, how are you going to top this? Your very first movie was nominated for best picture. And she said the perfect answer. I'm not. And the fact that I did it the first time absolves me from the need to ever worry about it again”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Promoted self successes. Are you happy with it, right? If you're a teacher, right? Sales success is promotability to vice principal, to principal, superintendent, social successes is your work recognized, copied. Are you the teacher or the teachers learn from? Self, are you happy with it? So one thing that helps me tone down the contentment and ambition paradox a little bit is knowing and articulating to myself which one I'm going for on which project I take on. You're going to have to revisit it when you're upset about the other ones you're not doing.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's self. That's me orienting myself towards something I want to do. That's a life goal. I want to talk to interesting people about their formative books and I want to read those books in advance. I want to spend years of my life doing it. I don't think that's going to ever beat Joe Rogan on the charts. And I have to remember that on the days and nights where I look at the one-star review about my squeaky voice and I look at the ratings and I'm like, oh, I slipped off the top 200 in arts. I can't even make the top of arts. Never mind the whole thing. I'm like, wait a minute, why am I doing this again? And so be really clear about which type of success you want and that model shane, I will argue holds true for any type of project you take on. Okay, you're a marketing job. Well, sales success means your product is a hit. It's flying off the shelf. Social success means you're loved by your peers. You get a performance review that's...”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“With each project, I do. Okay. Book awesome. Going for sales. It's not going to be in the New York Times book review, I'm sorry to say. That was, we're going for, we're trying to sell a million copies of this thing. Let's sign every book and every book, every media. Let's try to do whatever we can do to get this thing out there. Okay. That's going to sales. Three books, my podcast.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I sold 10 million copies, so separate those two out. There's sales success, there's social success. Okay, then the third one I will say is self, self-success. Intrinsically motivated, are you happy with what you did? And by the way, a lot of what you do in life has no sales or social component. The deck you're building in your backyard, the cake you're baking for your niece's birthday, these aren't things you're trying to sell or things you're trying to necessarily get praise for. I think of those three corners of a triangle as the success triangle or the three S's of success and I think of them like an old school wobble board at the gym meaning I don't know if you remember those old boards you have to try to balance on it well you can't get them all up at once so one thing that helps me tone down my ambition a little bit is just deciding which type of success I'm going for”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Had 800 million, and it was nominated for nothing, right? It was not made for nothing. And I realized that different types of success at play here. Let's just be very clear about that up front. There's a sales type of success and there is a social type of success. And this, by the way, this metaphor holds every year. It's like, you know, when moonlight wins best pitcher, Alvin and the Chipmunks to squeak well is making 10 times more revenue at the box office. It holds in publishing as well, right? It's very rare. Look, Mark Manton's the first to say that when Subtlet not giving a fuck came out, it wasn't covered. It wasn't covered by anyone. It wasn't reviewed in the New York Times book review. It wasn't lauded by the critics.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, this is the story of my life, right? Like ambition versus contentment is a thing I've been exploring through my life, through my work for years. One thing that's helped me, I will say, is when I had this”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you know what? They're actually also finding Shane is that the bright screen, when it turns off, gives you about an hour jolt of extra energy because apparently evolutionary biologists are saying when the sun went down, you needed to build the fire. You needed to get the cave set up. So actually when the sun went down, when the fancy football app goes off in today's parlance, you get an extra jolt of energy. And I noticed this because if I mistakenly look at my screen till right before bed, I'm lying in bed like this, like I'm on, you know, I'm like ready to build that fire instead of the cave as opposed to falling into a...”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Some basic tenets are even just turning your screen to black and white, mixing your apps up so that it's not compulsively checking the buttons that way that we kind of end up into these little habits. And then the third one I'll say is physical. Research from Australia shows that if you expose your brain to bright screens within two hours, I'm sorry to say this, within two hours of bedtime, your brain does not produce enough melatonin overnight. That would be the sleep hormone responsible for giving you a deep restful sleep.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, you see what I'm saying? So psychologically, you're always inferior. We're talking about resilience in kids. One of the things we're doing is saying that they can never be good enough. It's just the nature of it, right? Psychological. Second one is productivity. There's reports that say, we talked about this, 31% of our time on our phones is bookmark prioritizing and switching. The devices need to be turned into pull devices, not push devices. You get to control how the app is set up, what's on the front page.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Just be cognizant of the issues of cell phone addiction. Let's just be aware of it. We're not talking about it like it's a problem. Look, we don't realize that everyone's addicted to coffee because everyone's addicted to coffee. See what I'm saying? There's lineups at every coffee place. It looks like no one's addicted. It's not that big of an addiction. Same with sugar or same, you know, et cetera, et cetera. But with cell phones, and there's a problem, they all start with a letter P. The first one, absolutely we've been talking about, is psychological. We compare our director's cut life with everybody else's greatest hits. You're never as good as when I was in high school, same as when you were in high school, you could be the best basketball player on your team. You can see that guy, and you just knew if you took 100 throws in your driveway, you can probably be as good as that guy. Now there's a guy on YouTube.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know. And there's a famous series of Will Farrell commercials that anybody could Google on YouTube. I would highly recommend them. They're called Device Free Dinner. He did the series of spots for the website, which is another great website called Common Sense Media. Don't know if you know it's the way I check to see if every book or movie that whatever my kids want to watch is like age-appropriate or not. So it's a really wonderful service if you don't know it and if you have kids and you're wondering if they should read Harry Potter 5 at age seven or whatever it is He did a series of commercials where he plays the role of the dad And he's like, you know like like like like like this one turns my face into a rabbit and the you know the family's just staring around at him like who the hell is this guy? Yeah”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I feel my next one inverts got four kids. Some of them are teens. She's got them devices. However, they're Wi-Fi only. They don't have data. And she unplugs her router.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Getting it so that 11 15 when your resilience is low physiologically, your decision making energy is spent and you have the brilliant idea to send your director port a nasty email, you don't because we've all done it and you feel terrible the next morning, but you just don't want to take those 20 steps. So you don't do it. And so you create that little sense of friction, and now you're going to bed in a better state.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So, you don't bring the thing. So you give your phone to your wife Leslie on Friday at five, and you say, Don't give this back to me till Sunday when I got to set my fantasy football lineup. And at least then I guarantee 48 hours of no device in my presence. And I belt the location of your charger. I say this thing about 95% of people inside their phone. Not because I'm making that up, but because when I speak to audiences and I say, put up your hand if you sleep within arms length of yourself, and I'm telling you, Shane, 95% of people's hands are up. That charger should live in your furnace room. The dimmest cobwebby room of your house so that you add a 20 second frictional step.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm boring the metaphor from brilliant Lori Santos here. It represents a wheelbarrow beside you full of every movie that's ever been filmed, every song that's ever been sung, every letter you've ever written, every photo you've ever taken, every letter from every friend sitting beside you at the same time as whatever you're trying to do and nothing is as important as all of that.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Dramatically reduced the stores on the connection, the kinship, the relationship. We used to talk to the person beside you on the airplane. Now you get up at the end of the flight, you're like, oh, I didn't even know. Was someone there because I was tethered in as soon as I sat down. And so the presence of a device, to your point, is actually, I don't know if it's social signals, but I'm thinking it's certainly disabling our connection. And the reason it's doing that is because what that device represents.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know that study that was done in Italy About they put two strangers in rooms together. So say we didn't know each other, we're in a room similar to this. And then they had test group B, and they put a cell phone in between them, and it was not the cell phone of either person. It was not your phone or my phone. It was a dummy prop. It was just my phone. But the presence of that physical device that nobody could actually touch or do anything with because it wasn't even their phone.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Director Port, the person that you're taking care of, the elderly parent, whatever, and you give that number when you pay your $120 bill per month to $240 if you live in Canada, you say, I'm paying for the privilege of not living a life where I'm jostled senseless by my phone before I go to bed on my phone when I wake up in the morning. So part of what we're talking about here is just taking steps to become aware of how our behavior is being led into these intrinsically motivated traps and just taking babysits to design our behavior around them. And we can do that. And we should do that because it leads to a happier life.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Everybody can decide that they want to cancel the newspaper and magazine subscriptions, and they should. Everybody should decide to unsubscribe from five emails tonight, and they should. Everybody gets to decide if they want text alerts and notifications enabled on their phone and they want the news scroll on the side of their phone every day. And they should. Everyone gets to decide where they plug their phone in. You know, 95% of people right now are plugging in when their arms reach to themselves. So they wake up in the morning, the first thing they see is their phone that jostling themselves senseless. Oh, Neil, I can't get rid of it. It's my alarm clock. Have you heard of Walmart? It's 10 bucks, man. Get an alarm clock. Oh, well, I'm very busy. My sister could call me at 3 a.m. I'm a very important person to work. No, you're not. No one's calling you at 3 a.m. And if they are, you get a landline. The company will say, thank you for your 10 bucks a month. No one wants one of these things anymore. You give that far number to your five emergency people, your sister, the boss.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Which is you're essentially exploring life, intentional living through mental models. So you have already designed a life where you can take a random morning and spend time at the Boys and Girls Club breakfast, you know, and then hang out on a nice comfy chair and sort of talk about how the world is. You've designed that for yourself. You have created that for yourself. You've done that from corporate work and you've done that. And you're a very young person to have done that. So you have taken some of these. Things that come into our lives, and you've just been conscious of them, you've been aware of them, and you have designed your life around them. And everybody can do that.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's not that much evolution, though. You know, like we've got three million years of evolutionary history baked into the brains that we have, probably a lot more than that if you think about dinosaurs being the same kind of forearms and legs on a thick body. Like we've got the same parts still. And those things will always be looking for problems. And sometimes when you look for problems, that's all you see. The extrinsic motivators are fed to us more and more because they know that we're addicted to them and we have to design our life so that we, look, you are doing a great job of this. We're sitting in front of a bookshelf. Period. Books 57% of Americans read zero books last year. You're sitting in front of a bookshelf. I don't know how many of these you read, but even if it's a fraction of them, you're way ahead. 57% of people read none. You're on a podcast called The Knowledge Project, which means you're spending your time finding people to interview, researching, I'm assuming, reading their books, you know, researching stuff they've written, and asking them the questions you want to. And then you're writing a blog, fs.blog.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It'll be a fraction of the knowledge project forever, right? And no, but you will look at and you'll say, oh, I'm a fraction person X or Y or whatever, right? I'm just saying extrinsically motivated rankings, algorithms, they make you feel like you're a loser all the time. The internet is a story that you stink always, no matter how good our lunch is that we eat today, someone's at a lobster of a fan in the Maldives on the internet. And so the extrinsic motivate you're talking about control is we're letting them control. It's because they're fed to us all the time. Follower counts, likes, comments. You're always never as much as the next guy.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Key question to ask yourself in whatever work you're doing and don't just want to confine this to like corporate work is would I do this for free? Doesn't mean you should do it for free, but would you do it for free? Asking yourself that genuine question. If the answer is yes, it probably means that you have some burning intrinsic motivation inside of it. So me right now who was addicted to extrinsic motivators before, I won't say, I won't come clean and say I'm perfectly fixed, but when I launched three books in 2018, my podcast.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Literally hide the intrinsic motivators in our brain. They ask the groups of 11-year-old girls, two groups, one group, Shane, they said, hey, could you teach us? Eight-year-old girls are piano for half an hour? You will experience the joy of teaching. You will have the pleasure of someone learning because of you. And they tell the other group, we're going to give you two tickets to the movies if you do it for half an hour. When they evaluated it afterwards, the ones that were given the extrinsic motivator of the tickets to the movies, A, stopped right at 30 minutes to our point earlier, but a little bit of the above and beyond. They stopped right at 30 minutes. They were more frustrated with it. They had less satisfaction with it. And the people learned less from it. Intrinsic motivars are what we need to value and prioritize in its increasingly difficult. So part of the key to being happy is to constantly ensure that you are doing it for you.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, it's the equivalent of the what follower counts are now on social media. So for those that don't know what I'm talking about, the blog said how many hits it had, right? Well, I started getting addicted to that. Can I get 50,000 hits? Could I get a million? Could I get 50 million? Could I turn this thing into book? Well, it's on the best seller list. There's an extrinsic motivator right there, a bestseller list. It used to come out once a week. Now it comes out every hour on Amazon through the ranking. So what we've done is ratcheted it up. Well, could I make it a best seller for two weeks? What about 10 weeks? What about 50 weeks? What about 100 weeks? And so I became addicted to the extrinsic motivators and I lost my intrinsic desire to write in the first place. And guess what the research says? There's one from research from Teresa Mabiley who said, however business school, she's done research at Brandis University, Edward Dessi. It turns out that actually is what happens. It actually is what happens when we are exposed to extrinsic motivators.”
2022-10-18 · The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish · Neil Pasricha: Simple Rules for Happiness · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT