YouSaid · the spoken record

Paul Brunson

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2025-01-30
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2025-01-30
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  1. “Yes, so yes, should we be speaking more absolutely? Would it save many partnerships? Absolutely, would increase the satisfaction absolutely? Do we not have enough time? I would say this becomes our cop-out. Like we're so busy with life. Think about this. I'm so busy with life that I can't give the person that I plan to spend the rest of my life with time, right? We have to prioritize our relationship with our partner. We have to prioritize this. We have to figure out when we can build in time to talk. And we have to actually talk about the real things. I'm willing to bet that most men don't even realize, especially in heterosexual relationships, heteronormative relationships, most men don't even realize that there”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. “Like you have respect Another one Are you optimistic about where the relationship is going, which suggests how much effort and work your partner is placing in the relationship? So many of us are hopeless about the future is because we know our partner's not doing anything to further the relationship. So are you nurturing the relationship? Many of us are quick to focus on self-love now and nurturing ourselves. But the question is how much nurture are you giving to the relationship? Because that's a separate entity.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. “Having this strong connection. So the satisfaction is sky high. And this is a topic that is funny because I was like, hmm, I know Steven does the research, so he could have asked Jill, I am very confident Jill would say the same. The reason why is because we always check in with each other with each other. We're always checking, how are you feeling right now? Right. Do we feel like we're going in the right direction? You know, when I think about do you have strong satisfaction in your relationship, the questions that always come to mind is, do you feel safe with your partner? Do you feel safe? Do you feel like you can express your true vulnerability to them, right? That's one. Secondly, is do you feel respected? You know, with John Gottman's research, number one, you know, he saw he could predict divorce at 99 plus percent or 90 plus percent because of contempt or disrespect in the relationship. So do you feel...”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. “Jill is typically right next to me. Last night, literally last night we're in the bed and we are talking about the history of marriage and we're debating Clovis I of Franks and how he made an impact in relationships. We're always discussing these topics and as a result of having the conversation around these topics it helps us to be open, it helps us to dialogue. It helps us to debate it. It helps us to have doubt. It helps us to have trust and autonomy and therefore it helps us to have this strong level of communication and emotional intimacy that then feeds into all aspects of our life, into our sex life, right? into our ability to parent our children into our work, right? All of this feeds from”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. “Yeah, you tell me what she said first. What the reason why I hate trying to answer a question like this is because so many people say, oh, I don't believe what this guy says. Truly, hand on my heart, word to my children. I have the highest level of satisfaction with Joe, you know, with my best friend today than ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. And I think the reason for this is because of the enormous amount of work that we put in. You know, a lot of people don't realize is that when I read a stat,”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. “It's ridiculous. When I sit down for interviews, typically the top, see, and thank you for not asking me this, typically the first two or third question is, Paul, so you've been married for how long? How long have you been married? How long have you been married? And the idea is that because I've been married for 23 plus years, that I'm successful in my marriage. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. The question should be, how satisfied are you? In your marriage or in your partnership. And so we can't, we have to stop putting emphasis on the longevity and really focus on the satisfaction.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. “He pulled two hundred patients who had congenital heart disease, right? So not terminally ill, but as close as you get to terminally ill. And he was able to look at the 200 and he broke down the group. Two years later, the couple who had a high level of satisfaction, the person in that partnership who had congenital heart failure, you know what? They died about 11% of the time. So 11% they died. But those who had a low level of satisfaction two years later, 45% of them had died. Think about that. Little greater than three times the likelihood of death because of the low level of satisfaction in the relationship. So the satisfaction in the relationship is the key. This is part of what I've been trying to drive in this book and a lot of my messaging is that we place too much value on longevity.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. “Not having enough sex or not having the sex that they like could be from there's a, you know, there's no respect. They don't feel like there's equity in the relationship, whatever it may be. But because there's already a low level of satisfaction, when they go into a place where the partner is terminally ill, they're more ready to leave, right? This is normally what you see. What you see happen when you see a partner leave another partner where you see infidelity happening is you see that there was already a low level of satisfaction. The level of satisfaction in the relationships not only dictate the survivability of the relationship, it dictates the survivability of us. There was a study done, James Coyne, this one blew my mind.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. “You know, there's a disproportionate amount of the relationship that's placed on the physical side of the relationship, right? Sex. Yeah. You're like, false. Well, it's not all about sex, right? It's not all about sex. But what it typically means is that there is a low level of satisfaction in the relationship. And as a result of there being a low level of satisfaction and the low level of satisfaction could come from.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. “In the blank. They're no longer getting the emotional intimacy. They're no longer getting the physical intimacy. They're no longer getting the, you know, you fill in the blank. And as a result of no longer getting this thing and the thing is the condition.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. “Your child could go do something heinous and I believe there could or would still be love for them. But that's not the case with our partners. And for us to be aware that there are conditions when we go into these relationships, that's the most important. So it's almost a warning sign, in particular to women in that chapter, to say there are conditions. And unfortunately, when people have gone through and interview these men who have left the women on their deathbed, and even the women, because it's 2.9% of women leave men, even the women who've left the men, what they will say is that they're no longer getting”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. “That is alarming, shocking. And it was so alarming and shocking. I had to include the study in the book. For me, and I wrote this in the chapter around love is conditional. And we have to understand that the myth that presents itself is that love is unconditional. If you find the right person, there's no conditions. That could be true with your children.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. “Was it now you don't have to be married, you could live apart, but be together, see each other on weekends, you can decide. We don't want to have children, you can decide there are hundreds of variations. Be very clear on what you want. And when I say assert your boundaries is assert what you are interested in right from the beginning, these three steps are incredibly important.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. “If you don't assert your boundaries, you can take well intentioned people and turn them into bullies, just as a result of not asserting your boundaries. So in order to assert your boundaries, you have to know your boundaries. So that's the second piece is beginning to know, okay, what do I want? What do I want? For example, there are hundreds of variations of relationships that you could have today. My grandmother, right? There was one. It was committed relationship, committed marriage until you die.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. “the number of therapists on a per capita basis is decreasing, so they're not as accessible as often. We make it at the mount to see. So that's one is you want to start with self. That's one. Secondly is really get grounded on the type of relationship that you want. And the reason why this is important is because therefore you can make it clear what your boundaries are when you begin to engage with people. Because I always say that”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. “It's tough, right? But it always begins with self and self-awareness. And I would literally start at, well, what is my attachment? That will inform an incredible amount. If she goes back and does the work and realizes that she is avoidant, that will begin to fill in the gaps as to why maybe she's been emotionally distant relationships, why she feels like she doesn't need anyone, right? Why people need to jump in even higher bar to be in a relationship with her. Start with your attachment and realize that if you are avoidant or you are anxious, you can earn a secure attachment. And there's work that's involved, but you can do that. And by the way, you can do that without a therapist. It's always advisable to go with a therapist, but let's face it. The wait times for therapists, the cost for a therapist, they're not.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. “Say that's it. It's just the two of you for the rest of your lives. You were going to form a very strong emotional bond. And chances are you're going to form a very strong physical and sexual bond, right? Why? Because you are required. There's no other outlet but to make it work with them. Look at today We don't feel like we have to make it work. There's countless options. We can just leave, right? And so This notion that we are compatible with everyone, I think, is profound because what it means is that you can get through that, you can increase your satisfaction by putting in the work.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. “Then the next step becomes, all right, are you then prepared to do the work required to sustain that relationship? You know, the Gottmans, who I know you've had on the podcast and are really the foremost experts in the world around couples therapy, right? John and Julie Gottman. They said something to me that was profound when I was talking to them, and that is. We're all compatible with each other. And let that sit in for a second. It's like, okay, what does that really mean? What it means is that If I were to drop you with another human being on a desolate island,”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. “A lot of people won't like this, but we have to lower our expectation of our partners. We really do. And what I mean by this is, first, we have to begin with determining what do we want out of our partnership? Because if we go back and we don't have to go back thousands of years, we can literally go back to my grandparents, the decisions were not, am I going to get all 10 things from my partner? It is three of the 10 things and I'll be satisfied with the three of the ten things. Why? Because I have a full community that I can go to, of friends, co-workers, colleagues, people who, you know, in my running club that I can go to for other facets of my life, confidence, intellectual stimulation, whatever it may be. So that's where it begins. What do you want? from your marriage.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. “Yes, yes. Go back. Eli Finkel, eighty percent of our marriages have a lower level of satisfaction today than any point in history. And you think about even what the emphasis that we place on the individual. This is something that needs to really be emphasized because the more that we require our partner to deliver everything to us, the higher their bar becomes the expectation. And the moment that they're not meeting that expectation, we're not satisfied. Now, they could be delivering on nine out of ten things, but because our expectation is 10, we have low satisfaction. Because ultimately that's what satisfaction is, is satisfaction is really based on our expectation.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. “If as a society we went back to our nearest and dearest family in social circle I want to emphasize the people who we truly love, because not all families family. So, if we had that circle making the decision for us, we would have much higher satisfaction rates in marriages without question or much higher satisfaction rates in partnerships. It's because of precisely what you said.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. “Right, because we had many men who were incredibly successful professionally and felt as if, okay, what I'm missing is I'm missing love. I'm missing partnership. So if you came to us as a client, instead of me saying, all right, Stephen, tell me what you want, right? And you give me this long list. I know you'd give me a list of like 150. Things that you want. Instead, I would say no, no, you go sit over there. I'm not even going to talk to you. Instead, let me talk to your brother. Let me talk to your co-workers. Let me talk to your exes. Yes, let me talk to your exes. Let me get a 360 perspective of who you are from the people who you are closest to. And I would then build out a profile based on the consensus of what they're telling me.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. “And we're not even selecting them. Typically, they are selecting us. So we end up sliding, if you will, into a relationship that was never right for us to begin with. Whereas in arranged marriages, you have a true debate ha within that life of that individual. Another example is why my wife and I are a matchmaking agency. We pioneered something that had never been done at least to our knowledge in matchmaking. Stephen, if you were a client of ours, you came, you would be the perfect client at that time”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. “discuss and debate whether or not this person is an upstanding, you know, is this an upstanding human being? Is this person open-minded? Is this person going to be resourceful, right? Are they resilient? They debate these characteristics. And the reason why it's so beneficial is because the person getting married is not involved and they're not involved because they would be entirely biased. What happens today is incredibly dangerous. What happens today is when we meet someone We typically do not involve any friends and family. We are already infatuated with the person, so we're obsessed with them, therefore we can't even determine whether or not they have any of the traits that we want. We are living through our own trauma.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. “Many of us don't want to acknowledge how successful arranged marriages actually have been and continue to be. Really, continue to be. But we have to look at the why, right? Now, when people hear this, they immediately say, oh, well, what about all the abuse and the dissatisfaction that happens in these relationships? Does it happen? Absolutely. But it also happens in non-arranged marriages at significantly high rates. So why are arranged marriages so successful to some researchers they have a higher level of satisfaction than non-arranged marriages? And here's the reason why. The reason why is because you have families coming together and negotiating and determining whether or not this particular person fits within their family structure. And what does that mean? That means that you have literally a mother, a father, a grandmother, a grandfather, a brother, a sister, who come together and they discuss and debate the characteristics.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. “Things we can do is widen our social groups. This is the most important thing. I mean, it positively impacts our romantic relationships. It positively impacts our life. Is that we need to have a diverse set of people that we interact with and truly understand how beautiful, how beautiful people who are different than us actually are.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. “If you are someone who is not black and you are interested in a partner and then you've had no experiences with black people other than maybe watching some black people on television and your parents and your community have said all kinds of crazy things about black people and you have all types of negative belief structures around black people and then And you're a man, you're say a white man and you're presented with a black woman on a dating app. Are you going to swipe on this person? No? You're not because you don't understand how incredible she is, how smart she is, how beautiful she is. You have no appreciation. So the reason why they're swipe, they're not swiping is their ignorance. That's what it is. And this is the reason why one of the most important”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. “Definitely, definitely. You know, we have to understand that we exist in a highly racist society. And a lot of people don't like to acknowledge it, don't like to talk about it, like to sweep it under the rug. But when it comes to dating, it shows up like in this statistic that you're talking about. Now let's think about this.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. “How do the open-minded react to my friend? They lean in. What are you doing here? And they're curious and they engage and all of a sudden she opens her network to a whole new group of people. Some of those could be romantic interests. Some of those could be platonic. They could be friends. So when we're dating, the serial daters especially, the 100 people, is it's important for you to step outside of your sphere, if you will.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  30. “You know, this exhibit that they're having, and she was like, Brixton, I said, yeah, Brixton. Is it Brixton? It is cool. I go there all the time, right? I want you to go there. Now, why did I ask you to go? I asked her to go because the moment that she goes characteristically, she's not going to look the same. These are mostly going to be black men and women, perhaps even a little bit younger than she is. Different culturally, right? But yet they have the same value. The moment that she goes there, what happens? Some people in the room look at her like, what's she doing here? Like, why is she here? Those are the closed-minded people, Carol DeWick talks about this in her book Mindset. We have closed-minded, open-minded. Those are the closed-minded.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. “So this is one issue that we have in terms of giving ourselves so many options. The other challenge with this is when you watch people date, they typically date the same person. It's typically the same characteristics. Even physically, you know, the same. I argue that some of the greatest value that we can receive in the dating market, if you want to look at it as dating market, is to take ourselves out of our market, if you will, and put yourself in someplace different. I call this the premium effect. So an example of this is I had a friend who was a white woman roughly 35 years old who lived in northern London. And she was like, Paul, I'm dating all these guys. You know, I can't find the right one, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I said, look, look, you love art, don't you? She said, yeah, I love art. I said, all right, I want you to take yourself down to the black cultural archives in Brixton. And I want you to go to this.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  32. “When we choose one we have a less level of satisfaction with the choice because we saw that we had a hundred choices versus if you have three choices and you have to choose between one of those three, there's going to be a higher level of satisfaction as a result. A real life example is my grandmother. So my grandmother grew up in, I say, the bush in the bush in Jamaica, super, super small town in Jamaica. My grandmother literally had five or six options as a partner. Now, as a result of my grandmother having those options, when she chooses one person, there's going to be more value, more emphasis, even more if you look at the investment theory, more investment placed in one of those options versus if she had a hundred options and she makes a choice. That choice with 100 options becomes more disposable.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  33. “So, I think this reads to Barry Swartz's work with the paradox of choice, where Barry Swartz did with the paradox of choice, which is brilliant, is that when we're presented with more options, which in essence all of these dates.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  34. “Moments and say because of this thing I'm going to dismiss you as a partner. I think for a lot of people, sounds logical, but then for a lot of people sounds ridiculous. You know what I mean? Now, how you got to that point is the challenge. If you think it's ridiculous, how you got to assuming that because someone has a track suit on because they have long fingernails, it dismisses their Their validity of being a great partner, that is about you. That is about you, your attachment. That is about how you've been socialized. That is about, so I would argue that people who are going on lots and lots and lots of dates and they still can't feel like they can find the right partner, the first place to look at is yourself.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  35. “All right. So, you know what it was? It was around attraction. So when it was, you know, physical attraction. But in particular, it was. They smelled. They had bad breath, halitosis, right? Or there was some odor. Now, you can argue that scent plays a strong role in our partner selection, Dr. Taras Fort talks about this quite a bit, right? So there's an evolutionary biology that comes with scent. Yes, I agree. But to look across from someone and say, you know, like your breath stinks, right? And I'm not going to give up the second date. And as a result of your breath stinks, you have long fingernails. You're in a track suit, right? To look at these.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  36. “That means the balance are going to be anxious or avoidant or some combination. So therefore, if you are on a date and you have an anxious attachment style or you have an avoidant attachment style and you have someone in front of you who is the perfect match for you, they're taking off all the boxes. You could be so anxious or so avoidant that you push them away or you lay blame to a certain characteristic or a trait that they have that means nothing to the relationship and you dismiss them. This is going to sound funny, but it's sad. Do you know what we found when we were matchmaking, what the number one reason why people did not allow someone to get a second date with them?”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  37. “Right, right. But also I would argue that it could even stem, you could go deeper to the root, right? So you think about attachment styles. Attachment styles, I know you've talked a lot about attachment styles, attachment styles are kind of the hot thing, the hot trend that people are talking about. Rightfully so. I like this. And if you think about that, there are primarily three, right? We know we have secure. Is anxious and there's avoidance. There are other variations, but in essence, these are the three. Now, depending on who you talk to, roughly 50, 60% of the population are secure.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  38. “More from that one person versus thirty years ago, three hundred years ago, three thousand years ago, three hundred thousand years ago when humans really began 300,000 years ago. So you look at all this and you say, wow, we want more. So therefore, we're going to have lower satisfaction. So this is what I believe the landscape is today.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  39. “perhaps hopeless disgruntled, confused, dismayed, you know. And I would say that that's the landscape today. That being said, the reason for that is because we over the years have placed more emphasis on one partner versus having a village to lean on. So we're leaning more. So we're requiring more from our partners. So what that means is that if we're requiring more, if we're requiring our partner to be, we want our partner to be our best friend. We all want to launch a business and be a CEO, right? So we want our partner to be co-CEO or COO. We want our partner to be a great parent. We want our partner to come home at night, take their clothes off, and do backflips in the bedroom, right? This is what we want. This is what we want. So we want now.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  40. “And do they really have high satisfaction? And I fully believe this. And the reason why is because we have tools. You know, we have people who watch podcasts, read books, watch television shows. We have tools like we've never had before, more access to therapy. So 20% very satisfy. But 80% more dissatisfied, more upset, more confused than ever before. And I would say that those who are not in relationships, the pool reflects that as well. I think there's a 20% of singles who are hopeful and are developing the tools and developing the skills and learning active listening and all these things. And they will, and they believe they'll enter strong relationships. They're very hopeful. I think there's 80% out there that are...”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  41. “Sure, sure. This is a great one, so we're feeling different things. There's a small percentage of us, and I'll go to Eli Finkel Research, who wrote phenomenal books, but one is called the all or nothing marriage that I love. And in it, he states that if you look at marriages slash committed relationships, that 20% of us have higher satisfaction than we ever have in the history of relationships. And you think 20%, one is that's fairly small.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  42. “They have questions about how do they keep that relationship? How do they keep their love? So my wife and I then began to transition into counselors and coaches for married couples or couples who were in committed relationships. So that's where that started and that went on for over a decade. And then on top of that, I started, you know, I had research, global research at Tinder, which is a great opportunity for me to look at a very large data set and make predictions as to what's happening with our relationships. I host television shows, reality TV shows, which for good or for bad, I think help to spark conversation about relationships that are needed. So doing research there, you know, I do podcasts like this. So my life actually is all about relationships. And that's the reason why I wanted to write this book. And that's the reason why I feel qualified to write this book.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  43. “Who am I? I'm first and foremost a husband. I'm a father. I'm a son. I'm a brother. I'm a cousin. I'm an uncle. I'm a mentor. I'm a mentee. You know, I'm all of those things. And I feel like those are the things I am first. But I have a longstanding history with relationships. You know, I became a matchmaker. My wife and I launched a matchmaking agency. We became one of the largest agencies in the United States. And what's interesting about being a matchmaker is that a lot of people don't even realize that is a career. Like there's legit matchmakers. There's probably, I'd say, roughly a thousand full-time matchmakers around the world. And what we do is we literally match people together for long-term committed relationships. But what ends up happening if you're successful with that is two people enter a long-term committed relationship and because they've built up a relationship with you.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  44. “Typically, it's because there is a low level satisfaction in the relationship from not having enough sex, for example. But this is a major issue because 80% of relationships have a lower level of satisfaction today than any point in history. And part of that is because most of what we know about finding and keeping love has unfortunately been fed to us through lies.”

    2025-01-30 · The Diary of a CEO · Paul Brunson: Women Need To Lower Their Standards! If They Have These 3 Traits, Never Let Them Go! If You Get Sick, There’s A 624% Chance He’ll Leave! · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT