YouSaid · the spoken record

Sarma Melngailis

lines on the record: 316
first: 2022-05-23
most recent: 2022-05-23
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Probably a lot, but also with the awareness that I probably wasn't going to get it. You know, and I mean, I know for a fact I would never get it in the same way that, which is why Which is why I was able to later on, like in the context of recording those calls, I was able to talk to him. In this detached way, because I know he doesn't give a shit that like he doesn't give any shits about what he did to my mother or me or anybody or anything, just doesn't care. So he's certainly not going to care if I. He's never going to say, I'm sorry, or I did a bad thing, or like, he's not going to be affected. Like if I yelled and screamed at him, that would just be frustrating for me. And he would actually probably be gratified by that. So,”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Is that here I am having gone through this completely like messed up thing that now I'm in trouble for, everybody's looking at and nobody understands, right? And so there was this unfortunate situation of the only person who understands what I went through is the person who put me through it.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So I was able to go back and look at his Twitter, and he. Somehow he quickly got a phone, but he very quickly started tweeting right after he got out. And I was kind of like fascinated because I didn't know what to expect or what he was going to be saying. And then he started saying things that I could tell were directed at me, you know, like little things that only I would know, you know, like random things like things that were like the equivalent of like an inside joke that you have. So he was posting things like that. There's so many things going on at Twisted, but I think understandable way. In sort of a sick way that I was fully aware of.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I would be powerless to do anything, and he would have free reign to go. Destroy me further by. Know taking or hurting And then when he got out, I still had unfollowed him from my own account, but Leon had never unfollowed him. So I was looking at it, I know.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“He was getting out, he was going to be out free out in the open while I was going to be locked up at Rikers for three and a half months. And the one thing that If his motivation was to destroy me, What else could he do to really hammer that last nail in the coffin? That would be Leon. And so he would have known that Leon would be staying with my mother. You know, he knows where he spent a lot of time at her house. He knows where she lives. It would be super easy for him to just drive up there, wait for her to let him out. And then, you know, he, because out in the country, he can be off leash. And all he'd have to do is kind of whistle, call him over, and he could take him away and do whatever. I was completely. Like, gripped with that fear”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I have no contact. Yeah, because they'll continue abuse or you'll be vulnerable to them being able to pull you back in. So I knew that to be the case.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“After the fact. Well, even before I knew there was ever going to be a documentary, I spoke to him. And I knew how dangerous it was because I knew that. A situation like this, you're supposed to have no contact, which makes sense. And I understand why, which makes it extra tragic when people have kids with a sociopath or in a narcissistic abusive relationship if you have kids, then you're tethered, which is tragic.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“He is in California. That's been. Are five. Somebody who was going to have to interact with him in an official capacity. Going to go meet him, and I said And he was nervous about it. And I said. He's going to be really likable. Like, you're going to like him. He's probably going to like figure out what you're interested in, talk sports, talk, whatever it is that he figures out quickly that you're interested in. He's going to be really nice. He's going to seem like a nice guy. And that person later got back to me and was like, you're exactly right. Um,”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I don't know. But I used to, so in the last few years, I would periodically probably like once a month, maybe more, I would like look at his Twitter just to kind of see like, well, where is he? And, you know, like, just to see what is he up to. And I figured out, I could tell from the photographs that he'd moved to California. And I think he might have told me one of the last times I spoke to him. He was going to move to California. But and then I also screen grabbed a lot of stuff that he put on Twitter and he put these creepy videos of himself on Twitter at the beginning of COVID. I screen grabbed those And then one day I went, and he was account was suspended. And then I kept going back. And it's like been suspended ever since. So he might have started a new account. And I don't know what it is. Probably.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Well, no, I think because I used to always think if only everybody had to identify as themselves on Twitter and you could have like a parody account. Or, like Leon has an account, but it's very clear that it's me behind it, or sometimes there's Devin Nunez So people have parody accounts, but if we could identify who it is. Then a lot of”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, he's still out there doing weird, weird shit with his clean slate. I get a little annoyed about that. He's got the clean slate wopping.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I probably, I mean, Planned to do that eventually if all of that material would be really useful to psychologists or people studying it. To the extent that it would help other people understand what happened, which I think was still out there meaningful.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Be fun. No, I want to publish a lot of stuff. He took all these videos of me also that they used a couple of clips of. And I would, yeah, I mean, they're also on my phone. I would publish them all. I would publish everything. In particular, because I”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I recorded him intentionally. I was trying to get him to repeat some of the kookier things he would say about his meat suit or some of the weird things about something not being real, the more like fantastical things I was trying to get him to repeat those things. And it was probably like a 40 minute call, which I mean, it's actually on my phone. I still have it. I haven't gone back to listen to it, but.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Recorded was recorded. I recorded the call and gave it to them. You know, so I was like deliberately recording him. It's not like I was caught on a hot mic. Like I made that call.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Destroy my life and ending up in debt because that's it's not even like you can't even sort of point to like as if I was trying to do something and then oops that happened it's like there's no nothing that logically makes sense if somebody was trying to um Decipher My whatever motives I might have had”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah My reputation, my stuff, my home, you know, ending up with millions of dollars of debt. Like it's not even like I lost it all and then it's a clean slate. It's like I lost it all and now I have this like giant. Like this wobbly. Unclear how to like, yeah, so when people say”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Right. And also, I always have to keep reminding people get away with what because I lost everything and all these people lost other, you know, people I cared about lost a lot. My mother lost a lot, but I lost everything too.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Right, or if nothing else, I had like I was trying to get money. That's why I married him. So, which is absurd because, again, you know, New York is full of legitimate people with loads of money if I really wanted to marry somebody for money in New York. It wouldn't be that hard to do. But anyway, it was like, it was just a deliberate making it seem like my intention was, you know, to marry him for his fictitious money.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“My issue with it also was that it was deliberately misleading, which was what was particularly infuriating about it, infuriating about it. And then also there was. It was like One major thing that was incorrect that I think helped allow people to make an incorrect conclusion at the end was in the film it talks about, I say something about how my accountant made a joke about if I married him he could easily transfer me money without tax consequences. And then the film has me saying something like, you know, and then within 24 hours we were married. But that's like audio from here and audio from here spliced together.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And I mean that on an insult on him. I also like she's an amazing person So it's like it's him that I'm making the Florida is.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It's just like when there's the weirdest story about people eating tide pods and then doing crazy, it's like it's always in. Always in Florida, so I feel like whenever crazy things. So to me, it makes sense that he would have spent time in Florida before, and that's where.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“He got out before I went in to serve my time, which Particularly. Psychologically, I had to try really hard not to be infuriated. But anyway, so I think for him, you know, the consequence of spending time in jail sort of like an inconvenience. You know, it's like life is a game. And so he wouldn't feel... You're not capable of being emotionally hurt, then you have immense power because you can go around and do things and people can't hurt you. It's like a superpower.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah. And also, I think for him, like. Their motivations are just different. He spent a year incarcerated because he never got out on bail, but then he got out.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Know it would have made more sense if he had gotten all this money out of me and put it in an overseas account and then ditched me and got on a plane to Mexico, like everybody would understand that more. Whereas, The way things happened, and he dragged me around the country, and like, what were we doing in Tennessee? And then why didn't nothing really makes any sense. And also all of the things that he did. To me and had me do, it was as if All of those things together only make sense if his primary goal was to maximally destroy me and also make it like have me burn all my bridges and make it so I'll never recover. And when you read a book like that, you understand that that's what he wanted. Like that's his life.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, and I think one of the reasons I like that book, Confessions of Associopath also is. You know, female who's writing it. And I think statistically men are more likely to be sociopaths, maybe not. I mean, these are all Things where a lot of times there exists statistics that would be inherently hard to get Knows, but I think that people tend to think of sociopaths more as men, and then which probably gives female sociopaths the advantage in that people are less likely to. The Elizabeth Holmes, like people who are really manipulative and really good at it. And part of how they're able to succeed is that people don't understand their motives, or people will assume that people behave rationally, even if rationally means it's like Anthony Strangers.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“If somebody was trying to make the argument that he's the abuser, That he's lying and he's full of shit, it sort of doesn't make sense that he would have. Filed a lawsuit unless he's trying to have this all Come out in the open Because he believes he's in the right. You know, again, I have no idea. I agree with you. I agree with you. I'm talking about.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Right, I wondered that too. Like, who made the recording and why? And did they both know about it that it was being recorded?”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. So the audio that I heard made me. Without knowing anything else, made me very inclined to be Team Johnny Dapp. Based on that, based just based on that audio.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Stressful for me, whereas they don't have those things. So I think that, you know, they could, for example, I think that they could pass a lie detector test. They also don't have like a startled response. Activity in their brain, like if you and I watch something graphic and tragic on TV or watch something happen, like things would happen in our brains that don't happen in the brains of sociopaths. So they don't react to things in the same way that we do.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So, and it's interesting too, because it was just the audio, not, so you're not looking at their body language, which can be completely misleading. And there was another podcast where they talked about how judges make worse decisions on whether or not somebody deserves, you know, parole or to be released on bail when they see the person in person versus if they're just looking at the information on paper. So I think body language and those kinds of things can be can actually be misleading. Or we think that like by looking somebody in the eye, we'll know if they're lying or not, but the skilled liars are able to bypass that or because I'm jumping all over the place, but one of the things about sociopaths is they're not going to have the same tell. So like if I was lying, somebody would know because I'm like stressed out, mortified, I'm probably doing all the things that we do when we lie because it's”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So a long time ago, I listened to there was an audio call, an audio that was released of a taped argument between Johnny Depp and Amberheard. And I don't remember why, like which one of them had taped it. And if they knew it was being taped, but it was like an hour and a half, and I listened to it almost like you would listen to a podcast where I was doing other things. I was like cleaning my apartment. And I was fascinated listening to it.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I guess it depends on the context. If we're in a business meeting and somebody talks over you to kind of make their point heard, but if it's a one-on-one situation, then it's not. Anyway.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Would say all of these things are really hard people would say about me. I don't look like a victim and I don't mind you interrupting me because Andrew Huberman said that means you're interested in the conversation. He said it was a good thing. So you don't have to apologize for me. It keeps coming up, but I keep thinking of these.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Right. So people who feel that strongly are, I think, particularly vulnerable. Yeah, it's. Hard to talk about because Dipped into Like a podcast or something where other people were discussing bad vegan in like a pop culture way and they're analyzing it and it's so annoying to listen to because I'm like, oh my God, that's totally wrong. That's totally wrong. Well, if they only knew this, well, I have, nope, that's wrong. So it, you know. Listening to other people analyzing my situation or my psychology when they don't have all the information has been really frustrating.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So, again, this is one of those situations where I have very limited information because I'm also not sitting there watching the trial.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Elizabeth Holmes and anything like controversial. And sometimes that makes me. Think of an example, but very often. Like when somebody criticizes something or something becomes controversial, that's what gets me to want to understand it better. So then I'll go read the book that everybody's mad about.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Because I've listened to his podcast and people think that people would assume that I don't like him because or the whole like vegan thing and he's all about meat and they would think that I would think no because I've listened to enough of his podcast I've heard the one where he talked about why he hunts. Whereas if I only knew him via his Instagram, I might think he's an asshole. Having listened to all of his, not all of, I don't listen to all of them, there's a ton of them, but having listened to a lot of his podcasts enough to know that he's an extremely kind person with all the best intentions. And I think that a lot of that judgment comes from people who are just seeing little clips.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So, I haven't heard. I haven't listened to Howard Stern in a long time. And I also think that people who say bad things about Rogan. Listen to his podcast.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I think there's something about incredibly good, the most offensive comedians tend to have the kindest hearts, I think. This is my theory. People like Ricky Gervaise, you know, who goes out and insults people and makes jokes that people find horribly offensive and crude. And yet, it was a huge animal rights guy and appears to be an incredibly sweet and kind person and sensitive. And Howard Stern, people who are like incredibly crude very often are In my experience, to the extent that I've gotten either to know people personally, observe them, learn about them in other ways, but that almost like the more crude and offensive, the Comedian or the person, they tend to have the kindest.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“For me, I think it's like a coping mechanism too because all like if I went, I haven't been to a funeral in a long time, but if I went, I'd probably like find absurd thing Tend to like either make jokes or want to make jokes at really inappropriate times, even in tragic times, because it's almost like a A defense mechanism, I think”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I don't know. I mean, these are all interesting questions that I have as well. Like, how is it that I was functional? Yet also doing these things. And so The year that we were gone is like a different level because I no longer was running the business. Thing about dissociation is that you're functioning, but like your feelings and your thinking are detached in some way. So that, like, you're functioning and people wouldn't look at you and go, Oh, that person's dissociating because you're functioning, you seem normal, but somehow in your head, you're like disconnecting your feelings and your thinking. So”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That I still, but so then what would happen is I'm reading that correspondence, and then it stops for a while, maybe because I was with him in person. And then I'll look at my timeline of things and I'll see oh I sent him a wire for $80,000 like”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Lying to me and telling me that if I don't do what he says, my whole life will be destroyed and I'll lose everything I ever cared about, all kinds of things like that. But what was what I still don't quite understand. What one of my lawyers said why all of that wasn't as useful as I thought it might be is because. So much of that correspondence, I'm like sarcastically, angrily, I'm yelling at him, I'm mad at him, I'm like, fuck you, I'm making fun of him. I call him names. I'll say to him like, you're lying, why should I believe you? You told me you'd pay me back before, but you didn't. So it seems like it seems like it doesn't make sense. Like, how is it that if I say to him, you're lying, you're a liar.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Know if not drop the charges, like it would just be like, okay, well, you know, some bad things happened, you're responsible, you know, here's probation. It didn't seem to make any difference, which was strange. But anyway, so the journal and then also finding all of the correspondence between, not all of the correspondence between him and me, but the G chat correspondence between him and me. To me, all of that in its entirety, I wish that everything could have been kind of put out there as evidence. Like the more they turned up, the better for me because I wanted them to see everything. And there are just so many examples in the correspondence between him and me where he's, you know, threatening me and, you know.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So you write it. You don't think anybody's going to read it. And so that was a weird feeling. And then also just not knowing, having, you know, not remembering what I wrote. So I think it was the next day, she sent me a PDF copy of it, and I read it really quickly because I could read my own. It was a PDF, so it was like Xeroxes of the pages. So it was in my own handwriting, which I could read really fast because even though it's messy, I wrote it, so I could read it really fast. And I read the whole thing and was crying because I thought, okay, finally, like, surely nobody could read this and think that I intended to commit crimes. And so I thought, like, I thought that journal was just going to fully exonerate me and they would like.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Called or something and said, you know, the DA has your or the prosecutor, they have your journal. I haven't read it yet, but as soon as I get a PDF copy, I'll send it to you. So that was sort of weird to think that everybody's reading my journal, which, you know, you don't write it thinking people are going to read unless you're like a historical person. And then later on you think people are going to print from it.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I was not in love. I was afraid. I definitely write repeatedly in there that I'm afraid of him. I also write repeatedly things like, I don't know what's going on. Like, please let this be over. Please let this be over. Please let this be over. And then in a sort of, if I try to remove myself and look at it as if I was a different person, it's sort of heartbreaking because I was trying so hard to be positive. And that didn't work out. You know, trying to be positive. But It turned up later in the process, and my lawyer at the time.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Finding, you know, being able to go back and read. And then I kept finding more layers of stuff, and including a journal that I didn't find the DA, the prosecutor found. Me, my journal That I thought he'd thrown away. I didn't know it existed. So, Somehow we still had it Found my journal, which was for the year 2014 and the very beginning of 2015.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“He had access to my email most of the time. And then at the end was also emailing people as me, which was incredibly mortifying to come home and then get back into my old email and find that. And I think he was also texting people as me. And those I'll never know unless somebody brings it to my attention. Because after a certain date in 2015, he had my phone and he had exclusive access to my phone and email. So I wasn't looking at it until Got out till after we were arrested, and I was out on bail at my sister's, and it took me a long time to get back into my Gmail because I had to verify who I am. And I never got my phone back. So I don't know what he texted to other people as me after that time. Anyway, I was able to recover. Lot of our G chats. Which we use that. I don't know why people don't use it anymore, but it used to be a thing.”
2022-05-23 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #288 – Sarma Melngailis: Bad Vegan · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source