YouSaid · the spoken record

Steve Peters

lines on the record: 158
first: 2023-01-23
most recent: 2023-01-23
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

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“No, no others might argue no, because clearly you've given a good example. It's so ridiculous that you've brainwashing yourself. Whereas when you look at beliefs, we have to look at evidence-based to say what's your experience in life, and that will formulate our belief, or what's your education?”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So it was a long winded way of saying get you to be yourself, get your machine, let's see what the machine's doing and let's change the coping strategies. But accept the machine is the machine.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Again, to try and give context to that, natural isn't always good. So overeating is natural, but it's not good. And even the classic one I always use, the parents and teenagers, I always say, if you've got said it this morning with someone, if you've got a teenager who's got a tidy bedroom, that's who I want to meet. If they're messy bedroom, great, that's normal. So you're more concerned with teenagers that aren't being teenagers. So if this, you've got a teenager who never lies, then it's a bit worrying. Maybe they're good at deceit. Because teenagers are learning to lie and they're learning to defend themselves. And it's a natural way of doing it. It's not helpful and hopeful to grow out of it. But you've got to say what's natural and let's work with that to minimize risk or whatever we want to do”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The second you start saying, Oh, I'm trying to please people and I can't say no, and you see that as being a weakness or a fault, we're in trouble again, because you're muddling yourself up with a machine. So that's my starting point. Who are you? What's the machine doing? All of this anything the chimp does, anything it does is natural. There's nothing you're going to give me, even if it murters someone. That's what chimps do. They're violent. So it's still illegal and not acceptable, but I'm saying everything's natural, so that puts us in a different way of looking at it.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We're decent people who have just got lost in the way the newest science of our mind has tumbled us. So my starting point when you gave me all this was to say let's write out the real you and let's start building ourselves on that and recognizing what is not us and let's start unpicking it. So let's just start seeing right why would you have and we went early about low self esteem let's look at why you have that first it's natural and healthy that can help people sometimes just saying that to go that's amazing I feel better for knowing it's natural healthy maybe rubbish and unhelpful but least I know it's healthy and there's not something wrong with me”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. So somebody who's psychopathic generally, everyone's a different version of what it is. For me, a neuroscientifically, you know, there's certain tracks in the brain that are not really fully developed or don't function. And this produces someone without empathy, without remorse, without any conscience. These are classic. And so I don't know that. I'm not a mind reader. I can't tell until people talk. You know, so yes, they could deceive me. I have to just go on what they tell me, but I can listen carefully to the words of the use, I can listen to what they're saying and look at their past life events, and it starts to unravel. So eventually you think, okay, I know what I'm dealing with now. But to be honest, people don't do that with me. What you tend is, because I would hopefully set a scene where I don't care what you write. I don't care what you want to do with your life. It's not for me. I'm not a judge. I'm here as a doctor to explore this with you and get insights for yourself. So the most people are not.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'll tease that out. My job because again, then you look at evidence based and you look at remorse, you look at whether somebody compensates for mistakes. There's a lot of things I want to see the history here. And then I'll challenge that and challenge it. So that's a series of talks. So often we have a long time when we detain someone to explore this so we don't get fooled.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They've got morals and values and not every human has. Sometimes the chimps the good guy, sometimes the human's not nice. So I do get people who do not write, for example, who you are. They don't write compassion. They don't write integrity. They don't care. And if I challenge them, you didn't put compassion. They say I don't bother about that. So I have to work out who you are. Okay, so not everyone is going to write the same things. That's why I know it's you and not just your generic list.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We've grasped that we build on that. So now we know who you are. I'll say this sometimes when you were the friend and you've been chatting a while and maybe it's got late in the evening and you've got a lot off your chest and you've discussed you calm down and sometimes the real you presents and sudden you feel at peace people often say I don't know it's just and I felt tut relaxed and thought I've got perspective I'll gather the world's the way it is I accept things are and I've calmed down and then suddenly you see the real person”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No one they say no what I want to be is calm, collected, a good friend, have integrity, that is you if we didn't have interference in the machine. So it's very crucial is the biggest point in the book the biggest point is to define yourself because now you've got self-esteem can rise just on that alone. Once you've grasped that you say wow when I'm presenting to the world is interference It's not me if I didn't have this machine I would not have anxiety because that's the system that you say in the human system can't do anxiety It's not built to do that it's built to be rational and calm but what it wants to do and how it wants to present is a choice The chimp has no choice the computer has no choice The computer's programmed But these are interfering and presenting to the world someone who is not you So it's very important to grasp that concept that's my starting point”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, because if we were, we can't surgically remove interference near a scientific litch we can see on functional meriscanners. If we remove the chimpanzer system, then you're completely in control of yourself, so you would choose to be calm. You would choose to be confident. So therefore that's you. The human system can choose. What happens is when you choose to become, the chimp system interferes, or the computer interferes and throws to the world someone who's not calm. So it's very important to recognize who you are before we start. So now we've got a guy, you're not going to write, no one ever writes anxious.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right. So, what you're describing now is the human system. The great news is when I ask you the characteristics you've got, so I want to be calm, I want to be happy, I want to be confident, that is you.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I don't deserve to eat well and I don't deserve to eat the right things. So I deserve to be overweight or I deserve to look like this. So that could be the bottom of it. So I have to start, my starting point is an exploration. But the key to this would be to move all that to one side if you're in a reasonable place where you can actually communicate. If not, I'll let you express it all. It's important you get it off your chest. If you've got it, you say, I don't need to do that. What I do is what I've seen the boat here. In a path of young I explain the starting point is get a blank piece of paper and write down who you want to be. What behaviors do you want to have? Let's define what you want, not what you don't want, not what you're experiencing, don't start with a treacle. I call that the treacle. Start with a blank piece of paper, and then write down the person you want to be.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The first, I mean, just so people say, oh, wow, that's a strange starting point. I'm a doctor, so the first is make sure you're actually okay Because if someone were presenting with this, they could be in depression, and that can present in many ways. Typically it's low mood and loss of pleasure and everything and loss of energy, but that doesn't have to be. So I mustn't miss that. So I would make sure your mind is not ill, but only treatment. Now we assume that this is longstanding and what you've done is what you're describing is a lot of maladaptive coping strategies. So I eat too much, which is probably comfort eating, or it's just habitual stuff that you're just not, you know, or it could be you've got low self-esteem. I've seen this, you're almost punishing yourself.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So I think pulling it back to my world is that's why I say the brain's doing the same thing. So we go through these stages and we mention about self-esteem, which is really important in the peer group, really important. Unfortunately, they get self-esteem by comparison generally and by admiration and possessions. And then as you get into your 20s, we start to change. And hopefully, if people mature and start tuning into their mind by the 30s and 40s, we're matured enough to start looking at our values and what's important to us in our life, such as friendships.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But it's even like with music, when you're taking it generally, it's a big feature in most people's lives. And in the 20s it is, but it starts to diminish. So, you don't find people in the 40s and 50s. You can, but most people have moved on. And they say, you think you're going to be into music forever. And then you suddenly realize, actually, it's loud. And that's when you think, oh my goodness, what's happening here? But I mean, this is a natural progression. But then again, I love it if you get somebody who's in their 60s, 70s and still into pop music. That's great. You know, I'm not saying that's something wrong, but I'm saying there is a general trend and you're experiencing this.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But we're not saying that I'm not trying to put people in boxes. I'm trying to say let's look at how the brain develops, but learn what works for you. But it's good to know that your brain is maturing all the time and you will move. You will move ground, whether you like or not your brain will mature as well as your physical body.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And you can't believe money people resonate, or you've got the garden centre on a Sunday. But that doesn't mean you can't do that at 19. And it doesn't mean you have to do it at 40. I'm just saying, we recognize that what it's symbolizing is I'm starting to look at more aesthetics in my life now and not chasing after a mega career. I'm not chasing after wealth. I'm saying, look, there's a point where you've got enough. And there are other things, there's quality of life now. And for a lot of people they start tuning into things like nature, so it's not that surprising. They got the garden centre. You know, I'm not saying that negatively at all. All right, I've got my bird t”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So again, but it's up to people what they want to do, but I'm saying the natural development of the brain in the 30s is to mature you. As I've said, it finishes now it really matures. And then in your forties, you do see life differently. So as you develop your brain matures, and it will see things differently, I always joke with people and say, you know when you're getting middle age because you buy a bird table.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so, what you're doing is maturing into the thirties not everyone. Most people mature to thinking, this is empty, this is not a good place to be, and this not going to last. And also you remember your aging. So, you know, you look in the mirror and suddenly think, wow, that wasn't what I used to see. And then if you're not wise, you start trying to be something you're not. So you're trying to get yourself 10 years younger. And that can become an embarrassment.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But again, if you try and give some context to this, when you're 19 to 25 roughly, you're generally searching for a partner and your brain is telling you look at your best. Otherwise, you're not going to get anybody. So, therefore, you're wanting this admiration, you're wanting this status, and that's because that's nature driving to say if you're the best, that's who they'll pick. They're not going to pick someone who's not the best, right? So we're driven and then we do this comparison with other people, which can drive us on, or it can cause incredible depressive feelings and then low self-esteem. So again, I think if we can help people to understand that's normal and healthy, but it's unhealthy if you don't address the rest. So in saying that we're not all going to look like Tarzan on this world, you know, and if that's what you're aiming to do, then you're going to fail because you'll obviously see a bigger Tarzan or a better missed world. It doesn't matter. And I think that can be a faulty stance in life. But at that age group, you're meant to be doing that. Whereas once you start going beyond that, either you've got a partner or you start to realize it's a bit superficial.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And so I said to people, could you just get a balance? Just tell me what do you need, what do you want, and let's get both of these things in position.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So do both Just get a perspective that's going to help me on my chimp to feel happy, but actually what's going to make me feel good? Now, some people will say I'm happy I've got the money and I've got my car. And it's not for me to say, oh, wow, well about your values. I'm not who am I to do that? What I'm saying is my experience has been with a lot of people I work with. You're resonating with what I find that behind locked doors they're saying there's an emptiness. There's something like you're saying I'm sacrificing things that mean a lot to me and I want these great friends and I want to have a meaning in my life I want purpose I want my values defining I want to be able to live with my values”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But I think, again, I don't think we should see this black and white thing shades of grey again. I'm not making clear, I'm not against people earning money, and I'm in great possessions and holidays because that will obviously give them some pleasure and happiness. I'm not just saying alongside that, let's look at the other aspects which you're neglecting.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“100%, and that's what I've experienced. I've worked with the extremes of the expectant, with people who are struggling with finances and people who are extraordinarily wealthy. But the bottom line is at the end of the day, when you're back in your own house, in your own room, you're living with yourself. And that's why I say, do you want to look at that? Because if you can live with yourself comfortably and be at peace of mind, then nothing's going to get to you. The world will be a much better place.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, he doesn't have to be with self-esteem. That's completely different to me. You've chosen to put your self-esteem on what you can achieve, which is what the chimp does or who it is or how people perceive it or what it's got, what values it's got, you know, money. That's a way of dealing with it, but it's not a very sound one because what happens is you still keep going. Because deep down what I've experienced, and I don't know whether you'd resonate, if I met you heart to heart behind locked doors at that point you say I'm not happy'cause I'm aware of what I'm doing. And I know it's superficial.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Which I'm not saying is right or wrong. I'm just saying that's what it's doing. But is there a way the human can drive you? And the answer is yes, by your values and saying I'd like to do things that I think are really valuable to me, and it could be I want to earn money and I want help with other people and I want a good life. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't think there's anything wrong, but that's for you to decide, but then you can have a driving force and you won't lose it. In sport, I deal with people who I try and get them to put sport in perspective. So my phrases always is tiddly winks. You know, life is tiddly winks. But let's do it with a passion. But at any point, if we're not doing well and we make a bad move, let's be able to laugh and say it's Tiddle Winks.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A difference. So I think if you said, right, I want to try and prove that I can make this because I'm from a poor family, I'm black, I'm the only one in the neighborhood, and I'm going to show you we can succeed here as people in this position. And that's true of a lot of minority groups. I don't think it's ideal. I'd much rather if I'd met you then, say, can you see yourself as being you? And who cares what the rest of the world thinks? Let's make you and your values, and that could have driven you. But if you say, well, what if I suddenly see myself as being me, and I don't see this as me being poor and I need to prove myself, will not lose my force? The answer is not really your force is driven by emotion at that point, so that's your trim driving you.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Sound great, and again it was a driving force that eventually led you to being successful in some sense. So it's not altogether negative, but there's a really key point here. It's like when people have a driving force in sport. I think it's great to have a driving force where it is, provided you can stop in your tracks and look at perspective and say, you know what, without this, I'm still a decent person and I have good self-esteem within yourself. So I think I'm not against these driving forces as long as you can contain them and they don't contain you.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's the risk or someone who says I need to demonstrate to other people how good I am. Again, these can be very successful beliefs while you're in sport becoming out of it, it can lead to danger. So again, it's not for me to say change it's for me to question it and say is there an alternative way to succeed in sport? And I've met plenty of people who say it's only sport, but I love it commit to process and get on with it and succeed fantastic and in a great place. So again, it's not for me to say it's for me to try and tease it out to people.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Again, it's why Pulland was a poor corping strategy. And what you're trying to say is, look, if I keep elevating myself, then I'll suddenly feel good because people see me as being this wealthy person or this successful person. And it's interesting even within sport, one of the questions ask is, why are you doing this? Because it's great to do sport. I'm not a great sport. But why are you doing it? And often the answers which do lead to success but can have consequence, I need to prove to myself that I can do something and that's probably I would have said not an ideal reason to do it. I'm not saying it doesn't work, but I think the long-term consequence is you won't stop at the undersport. You'll keep doing that.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's you're right, but there are lots of ways people do some of them are not so blatant, so some people don't recognise they've got low self esteem until you point out, for example, they just don't know how to be assertive. And if you think about it, if you've got reasonable self esteem, then you would say I have the right to speak my mind and also to say to people, please don't do that. It offends me to upsets me, and this is what I'd like you to do, which is what assertiveness is. So again, sometimes it's subtle that you think oh wow self esteem presents with different faces and again that's my job to help people to tease out and think ah this is low self esteem or it isn't.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, there's usually very low self-esteem. I mean, years ago, when I did a lot of work in general, adult psychiatry and hospital medicine, I would see quite a lot, not just women, but mainly women, who would have such low self-esteem that they would subject themselves to someone who was really abusing them. And there was a book out at the time which I used to recommend, I should think it's accident, written by a woman, and it was entitled Women Who Loved Him. I read through this book and I thought she'd written it in my opinion it was excellent. I used to hand them that and say, I think this is better than me as a man trying to help you to get self-esteem. I can do this, but I think if you understand where she's coming from and she says exactly what you're saying, she's saying, you know, the reason you're clinging to these guys is because you have so such low self esteem, you're actually saying to them, give me my self esteem, and they're abusing you. So you've got to build yourself esteem.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They don't like people who suck up to them tends to be then there's a real danger now going into forensics somebody's in that position where they desperate trying to please is really vulnerable to abuse So they're going to get someone who finds them and then they'll use this against them and then it really is dangerous so so when you look at that my gut feel as well as logic would be to get them out of that and say look be very careful if you're going to lean on someone don't lean on them by trying to please them lean on them as a friend who's there to look after you That's building you up not controlling you”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, because again they're trying to curry further so that's one way of corping with low self esteem so again everyone's different so some people might close themselves down and they'll go into their own little world and just not engage and they daren't go and join a new club or form a new hobby or make new friends because they just haven't got that confidence. So they deal the coping strategy is to just close down. And my answer is if as long as you're happy with that, I'm not going to dispute it, but if you're not and you want to get out, let's get you out there. But everyone has different coping strategies. The next one you've mentioned commonly is to try and please people never say no, always say yes. Make sure it doesn't matter how much it puts you out. Never speak up, don't be assertive. It's critical not to be asserted. So this is their chimp system saying if you do all this, people will like you more. Sadly, the reality is they don't. People like assertive confident people.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We hope they go through that stage into what we call individualization so around seventeen neuroscientifically the brain does change almost to the day for most people. So by 1890 we're starting to individualize. And that means we decide whether I want to really wear orange socks. We get individual identities. However, again, a lot of research, obviously it's contradictory at times, but most of it shows that around that age we have the leaders come out, which is about one in four people genetically are going to individualize and decide, I'm just going to set my own agendas and I like what music I like and do what I like. But about three and four are semi-dependent throughout the lives. So they'll always look to some strong figure to bond with them. And that tends to be a bit insecure.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The child should be dependent on the parent If you get a teenager who's outside the peer group, we start getting concerned. It doesn't mean there's something desperately wrong. Some people are more isolate than others. It's on a spectrum. But it is worrying. So you like to see teenagers together. But in order to be accepted, you have common ground. So our chimps always look for common ground or common experiences. So if I wear orange socks and I'm the gang leader, then you were orange socks and now we're all on orange socks. And if I decide they're out, then everyone stops wearing them. That is pretty healthy as a teenager because they're P group bonding.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“That's really important to do, isn't it? Because again, if we've got a child who under the age of 10 wandered away from parents and didn't really care, that's very disconcerting.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's built at that point to start forming peer groups. So if somebody says I don't like your hairstyle, I don't like your socks or even worse I don't like you, then that can be extremely damaging to the circuits. That can create damage. So we have to try and get to young children and say, right, we need to teach them. You don't have to please everybody. You please people on your terms with your morals and your values, but you self assess. You decide whether you're good enough. You decide what's important to you. But if we don't teach them at young stage as a teenager we go outside that and then social media becomes extremely, extremely dangerous.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And it's a likelier leopard will get it. It's got to sleep sometime. But if you think of us as humans, we tend to see this. So you particularly seeing teenagers, they try and make everybody their troop. So anyone who reject them is fearful. And to the chimp it's life and death. So to our inner system which is chimp driven in the same way, emotionally, if we get rejected, it potentially we could be kicked out. And we know that if you look at the neuroscience of the brain, particularly in teenagers, it's extremely sensitive to peer pressure.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, because in a troop, and that's true, and again, not everything that chimpanzees in the wilder refer to us, but some things do overlap. And we find that a chimpanzee will always try and curry favor with the powerful chimps because it doesn't want excluding. Excluded chimp is in trouble. I mean, it is going to die because it's unlikely another troop will take it.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And if you look, it's really unhealthy to do that, and it's not rational. Instead of saying, let me create a world because I'm not going to work with my chimps. I'm going to buy a human which says I value my friends who I want to invest in who do respect and love me. They're the people I'm going to give my time to, and people who find me a bit, you know, maybe not so good or don't like me. Well, that's up to them. You know, they're not in my world. They're outside my world. So if we look at that, that's how the human system works. It builds its own in a world and says, this is how I'm going to survive the world. But social media can be a disaster because then we look to see, well, who doesn't like me and what comments? And we give them undue attention. And that's a natural healthy thing for your chimp to do when it's trying to get everyone inside, but it's a ridiculous thing to do and it's unhealthy.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And the evidence is quite strong that if I am your friend and I like you, okay, and then you've got another friend who's not clean on you at times and you'll actually give more attention to the person who's not keen on you than me. And that's what we do because our chimp is based to say, I've got to be loved by everyone. So you just say, well, Steve likes, but I'm not going to bother with him. But if it's Brian or wherever, I'll try and curry further. And you try and please these people.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The first step to me is accept this is absolutely healthy and natural but is unhelpful so it's natural and healthy so celebrate you've got this amazingly healthy machine but what it's giving you is unhealthy so what you say is well why would it give me this? And the answer is so that you don't get shot down. You don't put your head up but that doesn't mean you can't start saying right well what can I do to gain self esteem where it's reasonable self esteem? And then you start saying for example don't compare yourself to others It's not a healthy thing to do even wild chimpanzees do this they have a hierarchy in there they will compare and they'll jostle for position so we're built to do similar we jostle for position and sport is one way we see it blatant all right and we enjoy that provided we retain it as sport and not start going self esteem on it so we muddled the two up and again in say the typical everyday person”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I'm going to be Almost paradoxical here and controversially almost to say, you know, if you look at the neuroscience of our brain and what it's trying to do, the chimp system is naturally and healthily low self-esteem. That is the natural chimp system. And we see this not just in our system and humans, in chimpanzees. So the fear that they're not up to it is inbuilt. So if you have a fear that you're not as good as other people and you've got low self-esteem and then you start searching for evidence and you'll find it, you'll find it because if you compare yourself to anyone who's excelling, you've found it. That is the chimp system trying to help you. It sounds paradoxical. What it's saying is don't put yourself in a vulnerable place where you beat your chest and say, look, I'm strong because you could get tacked. But I did keep your head down wear it in helmet and hope it goes away. So that's how the chimp system works. So I see if someone comes in with low self-esteem.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly, and the devil is in the detail again because there are other elements to this, because in other factors time we know that the brain will try and repair itself, even of emotional scars, it will try and do that. So there can sometimes just be time. So we know like in grief reactions you have to allow the brain time, and the brain will process things in its own time, and that's a piece of strain generally in a serious loss or change of job or relationship gone, or you've lost someone because they passed on. Usually we say around three months is intense, then a twelve month is still bad. But some people it can be ten years and there is no normal grief. There's just normal grief for you. And then if it gets stuck, then again, this way the clinicians will come in. If you have pathological grief. And this can be due to anything. It's often a belief system again in the computer that's stopping you being able to process something.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And that's why I brought this out and said to the therapist, Look, stop, you know, let's you review what you're doing, they're their own professionals, but as someone who tries to teach therapists and people who are working in this field to say neuroscientifically there are damages to the circuit. So rather than say we're going to change it, you've tried So stop worrying about it and say let's try managing it first, whatever's raising its head. And then if we manage it, then we might still try processing. But now we're not defeated.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I agree with what you're saying. Then you accept this is the way my system is. So let me manage my system instead of trying to make my system do something it can't do. So I hope I'm not coming across saying let's roll over. I'm not saying that. But the reason that I did it was it's also the therapists. It's really hard for the doctor, the nurse, the psychologist. It's really hard to see them struggling to try and change something or help someone and it's not working. And that can damage them to think, what's wrong with me?”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, you're just about done. Some people finish, we know that mature is the final sort of bits to the brain mature, which is actually the rationality of the brain. It matures around 25 to 30, but there are quite a lot of, particularly more men, who keep going to around 32. But by then, you're out of the oven. So wherever you've got. Finish.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The younger we are when we're developing the brain. The brain keeps developing up to the age of around thirty. So it's young to me at my age as anyone under thirty.”
2023-01-23 · The Diary of a CEO · The Mindset Doctor: The Secret Man Behind The World's Top Performers: Steve Peters · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT