YouSaid · the spoken record

Tracey Cox

lines on the record: 125
first: 2023-05-15
most recent: 2023-05-15
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Well, depends on the couple. A little bit, I mean, you can use body language during sex. I don't know about before sex. I think maybe sometimes after sex, when you're getting on really well and having a few drinks maybe, if you're a drinker and relax and just talking generally, that's sort of the time to say, by the way, you know, that I always think that's a good time if you want to try something new or to say, oh, by the way, God, my friend was talking about doing X. You know, what do you think about that? I always think things like conversations about sex that are positive and exciting and, you know, talking about trying new things should happen outside the bedroom, really. But otherwise, yeah, you do have to have those instructional sessions, I'm afraid.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, yeah. That's the key thing. The key thing is absolutely that. And then if maybe you still haven't hit the spot, then afterwards you say, actually, that didn't quite work. Can I just tell you where or what works for me? And then demonstrate on your hand or something. That's always a really good way to do it. But yeah, the key is in the positive. No one's going to respond to sex where somebody's going, oh, that's not right. Why are you doing that for? That's terrible. You know, don't go there. That doesn't feel anything. No, that's terrible. That's awful.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, whenever you can give positive feedback rather than negative is great. So giving, I'm sure you wouldn't mind if she says, no, that's perfect, stay there, stay there, do it for longer. Yeah, exactly.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“But if you do it, I mean, often men do don't hit the spot and they are doing it wrong. And so do you want women to just lie back and go not even remotely close to where he should be, but I'm going to pretend because that's what, and this is why women don't give men instruction in bed, is because they know that a lot of men don't like it. A lot of men, you know, it is, you know, it does disrupt the proceedings, but then it's very quickly back on track if you do it, you know, if you go and do what exactly she wants. Personally, I think sexual instruction, you can say, or just over to the left a bit, or that feels great there.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“First of all, it's natural for an erection to come and go during any sex session, so that's not really important. But maybe, yeah, criticism isn't great. Like, don't do it like that. Move over here or in a very barking, you know, Sergeant Major, you know, can you move to the left? That's not so great.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They respond best to very specific instructions. So instead of saying, look, this sex isn't working for me because, you know, you're climaxing too fast and then all of a sudden it's over and I'm just left high and dry. If you say, this is my idea of the perfect sex session, can you just like, let's just take turns, you know, we each design our own perfect sex session. Could you start with kissing? You could move on to kissing my neck. I really like it if you play with my breast and then I love oral sex. But could you do it for a bit longer? Very specific. And people are like, well, that's like telling you, you know, saying you can you say you love me? And then they say I love you back. But no, giving instruction in sex is really, most people are really grateful for it. And it might feel a bit awkward the session after that where he's thinking, oh my God, I'm just doing exactly what she says. Isn't this embarrassing? And then all of a sudden you forget about it. And then the next session and the next session is like flowing.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do this, and like, you know, does it worry you that, you know, my erection isn't as hard as it was when I was young? And you get reassurance and then they're falling over themselves. You will never, ever, ever regret trying to talk about sex with your partner. It is the number one thing you can do for your relationship. So she should think about what she wants, be very specific.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And not lasting long enough is not going to be an issue with most women because they don't have their orgasms through intercourse anyway. So I think that men need to calm down about that. They feel like they have to go on forever and ever and ever. And it's like, well, she's not going to orgasm that way anyway. She's going to feel like she has to. And then you get the faking it and all that sort of stuff comes into it. But talking about sex is such a huge issue for people. And the funny thing about talking about sex is that once you've done it once it's the first conversation, especially, you know, I deal with couples who haven't talked about sex for 30 years. And that first conversation is excruciating. You know, you're like, oh my God, this is awful. I just want the, you know, Erst to moot, like, open and get rid of me. But once you move past that initial awkwardness, which seriously lasts like three minutes, then all of a sudden this relief, the amount of couples who say, oh my God, like, I can say actually, I don't really like it when you do that.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“No, well, the mantra for that is she comes first. Always, the way to solve the whole orgasm thing in several ways. One of the ways is to have, you know, give her whole orgasm through oral sex, fingers, vibrator, and then you go on to intercourse, which is when he gets his orgasm. So that's a very, I mean, it's what a lot of couples do, a lot of straight couples do. You'll notice actually when I talk about sex, I talk about straight couples. The reason why is that gay couples have a lot better time of it because they've got the same issues going on. So it sort of helps if you go in lots of ways. But I would say don't worry so much about, like, if you said to her partner, look, I really love our sex. I love our sex. I particularly like it when you do X. But you know when you used to do Y, give me more foreplay, give me oral sex. I really, really love that. Can we do more of that? So you're not saying, actually, you're not lasting long enough.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And every sex problem can be solved if you talk about it. If you don't talk about sex, the tiniest sex problem can ruin your whole sex life. The reason people don't talk about sex is that they worry exactly where you just said that they're going to hurt their partner, that they're going to upset them. Well, you just be really tactful about it. And I always talk about the compliment sandwich. So say you want to say she wants him to be what? Give her more foreplay, something like that.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah. Well done. That's really good. Because most people talk a lot about sex in the beginning when it's all going well. Like, aren't we amazing? That wasn't that great. All that sort of stuff. The minute there's problems, they tail off.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Gosh, talking about sex is just the thing. I mean, do you talk about sex with your girlfriend? How long have you been together”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The right sex for them. So women's desire for sex goes down so much faster than men's does. So you need to give women interesting erotic sex and then they'll be interested. But otherwise, they're not going to be interested.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because the clitoris isn't that little tip, by the way. It looks like a wishbone. Imagine a wishbone. And the tip of the clitoris is at the top and then it goes down the size of the legs, right? That's the clitoris. Amazing. 10 centimeters long. So because the clitoris is on the outside of the vagina, intercourse doesn't cut it for most women. Only 80, no, 20% of women can climax repenetrative sex. 20%, right? That means 80% of women are not having their orgasms through intercourse. So if you're going to serve up the same routine sex and most couples have sex the same way over and over again every time they have sex and that's your lot as a female you're having sex which doesn't give you an orgasm you're having sex which doesn't isn't exciting isn't erotic isn't you know in any way really interesting women get bored men don't get bored because they get the orgasm as a reward women get bored because the sex is just not”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“The Killer for Women The Killer for Women Because women are the ones that find monogamy boring, not men. If you say to men, right, you could have the same sex pretty much do the same thing every single time, three times a week for the rest of your life with this person. Most men would go, all right. Sounds right to me. If you said that to a woman, she would go, you are kidding me. But this is what's happening. Women get bored way quicker than men. And they do so because our orgasm is far more complicated than yours. I mean, intercourse is usually the main event for most couple sex. Intercourse is like the big bit that everyone aims for, right? And that's great for men because intercourse very successfully stimulates the penis. You know, the penis wants to rub it in and out of something the vagina does a great job. Fabulous. For women, the clitoris is outside the vagina that some of it is inside.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Of course there is. I mean, watching somebody at work doing what they love is the moment when, yeah, that you're like, wow, this person's amazing. I mean, I would hate to be a person who, you know, the partner's at home waiting for you. And where are you? And it's all about so, what have you done? Nothing much. How was your day It's not healthy for a relationship. That puts it too much on one person. If you want to have great sex, you need to have an interesting life. You need to be doing interesting things. You're not going to be having great sex if you're boring and you do the same thing every single day because you just end up doing the same boring sex. You need stimulation all the time.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Everything, yes, exactly. It's an intellectual thing as well because desire goes, and especially, you know, the, you know, grumpy old man, grumpy old woman thing, when people age, I think that they become very set in their ways and, you know, become quite, you know, you don't want to be the bitter and twisted person. You could look like, you know, a Greek god. And if you're bitter and twisted, Japan is still not going to want to sleep with you. So yes, I do think we owe it to each other to say, you know, to look as good as you can and to be as positive as you can. There is nothing.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes, absolutely. I don't mean like you have to have facelifts or, you know, anything like that, but you should keep yourself as attractive as you can, each of you. And I think, you know.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“My partner's not going to cheat on me. But, you know, that makes me think that if I pledge monogamy, I pledge that I'm going to sexually satisfy my partner. I think you have an obligation to do that. And I'm going to keep myself looking good because love is, you know, kind, but it's not blind. And I'm going to do all sorts of things. I think it's a real insult. If Miles said to me, I know you'd never cheated on me, I'd be like, I don't take that as a compliment, would you?”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“They never see each other out, and if you go out, I remember once very early on into the relationship with my husband, Miles, he was walking through a restaurant and I'd arrived first and he hadn't seen me. He was walking through the restaurant and I saw a couple of women look over at him and I was like, shit, you know, he's really attractive. Well, I knew that. But he's, you know, and if I don't, you know, he's out there all the time, you know, like people are going to be attracted to him. So it sort of makes you lift your game a bit. So you need that. If you see your partner at home and you know, hi, high, you only ever see them come through the front door, they become too safe. And I think when people say, oh, my partner would never cheat on me. I think how rude is that to think that your partner's never going to treat on you no matter what you do to them, no matter how horrible you are, that's terrible. That's like saying your partner, you know, is just a doormat that you can do whatever. I like to think that, you know,”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“In your new books, such a big question, that is, because that's the question that everybody wants to know. How do you keep desire going long term? The otherness thing is all about close couples kind of become like Tweedledum and Tweedledee. They don't do anything separately. But you need to have separateness from your partner. And this is why during COVID, no one had sex at all. In the beginning, it was like fantastic. We can have sex at 11 o'clock in the morning. And then it was like, oh, we can have sex anytime we want. How unappealing is that? You know, the more available something is, the less we want it. But you need to separate from your partner. You need to be have your own identity and your identity with your partner. And that's the otherness that I talk about is seeing your partner in the real world and seeing them when you're not with them. Like so many couples only ever see each other at home in their house.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right, I'm not a trained sex therapist, which is what everybody thinks I am. I'm a sex educator, which is which I think means that what I do is I look at all the research and look at all what's going on in the sex world in sort of an academic sense, and then I work out, okay, so that's all well and good, but what does this mean for you and I, well, not necessarily you and I to go, but people in the bedroom. So I bring it down to a sort of level that is more practical, that all my books are very much like, right, so here's what we've now know about sex. Here's how this is going to help you in bed. So I think my job is to sort of get the research and make it into something that, you know, the average person can understand and make it work for them. So I sort of, yeah, I'm a sex educator is a better way to describe me.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Number one, being close doesn't actually protect you against infidelity. You become so close to your partner, they're your best friend, you just don't see them as a sexual partner anymore. If you understand how sex works and if you can make sex good with your partner, affairs can be so preventable in so many different ways. Women get bored way quicker than men. Men don't get bored because they get the orgasm as a reward. You need to give women interesting erotic sex and then they'll be interested. Otherwise, they're not going to be interested.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We have known that women don't orgasm through penetrative sex since Karma Sutra, and yet most men will go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard about that. Women aren't having very many orgasms during partner sex. They're always fake. The way to solve the whole orgasm thing is...”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“There's a sex recession. If you haven't had sex for a year with your partner, it is very unlikely you're going to have sex again.”
2023-05-15 · The Diary of a CEO · The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - Tracey Cox · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT