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Tristan de Montebello

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2024-10-13
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2024-10-13
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  1. “But the reality is the vast majority of people actually are not truly standing behind their words and their ideas. And what that does is that the people who speak a lot and feel a lot of conviction, their ideas go through more often than the others. And you'd want ideas to stand for themselves, but that's just not reality. So for most people listening to this, if you can bring more conviction to your words, then your ideas are going to have a better chance of being seen equally to those who are already doing that. So this is what this game's about.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  2. “Could it force me to care more about what I'm saying basically? And this is a game for executive presence. If you think about somebody who you feel has like great gravitas or great executive presence, they usually have, there's something about them that's saying this person really believes in what they're saying. This game is showing you is that, hey, there's a way to fast track myself to that place. If I want to have more executive presence, let me bring a little bit more conviction to what I'm saying. Caveat, small caveat, maybe 10% of people in the workforce need the opposite. They need, hey, you need to maybe question what you're saying here.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  3. “Cool. Let's do last game, last one of these practical games. So this is actually a game from One of our courses that I'm pulling out. It's not a standalone game, it's one that's inside of the courses. But again, if you wanted to replicate this yourself, you can very easily do it. So what we're going to do here is we're going to work on conviction prompts. So this comes back to this idea of entering a state or changing your energy to impact the words that are coming out of your mouth. So what's going to happen here is similarly to triple step. I'm also going to get a random topic that I just have to start speaking about. But now instead of getting a word that I have to integrate into my speech naturally, I'm going to get a prompt. So it's going to be the beginning of a sentence that I have to say out loud. And I have to find a way for my brain to just complete the sentence. And the sentences are specifically chosen because they're going to put you in a state of more conviction.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  4. “Think to myself, oh, I may be rambling right now. Maybe I'm going a little bit too long. And it's a little listener that's going to just gently, nicely say, hey, warning, I don't know if you're aware of this. And as I hear that, I might say, okay, let me wrap it up. Or maybe it's saying, I'm not sure if you're being clear, or can you be more precise here, whatever it is, I'm going to, it's just a gentle listener in the background. So as you get into the habit of staying in character and if you had an audience here, we could have asked them right away, well, how do you feel about this? You would probably would have gotten really good feedback, really positive, which would have kind of jarred that feeling of, wow, I didn't think I did it that good of a job. And people are saying, hey, I thought that was pretty good. So as you get that reinforcing pattern, the voice starts going down more and more.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  5. “The noise doesn't completely disappear, but it goes down to being almost imperceptible. So what we're trying to do is we're trying to internalize all of these habits to the point where I don't need to consciously think about them. So it's like a gymnast who's doing their tumbling routine and jumps into the air as they're flipping. They're not consciously trying to think of how to do a flip. They've done it a thousand times. They know how to do a flip. The only thing they have that they may be thinking of, all of their attention is on being completely present to what's happening, relying on your body and your subconscious knowing what to do is they have kind of like listeners like in program, in keyboard listeners. You have something that's there that is just listening for anything out of the ordinary. And it's very, very fine-tuned. So as I'm speaking, for example, I'm”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  6. “I imagine from your perspective. Absolutely. I was actually thinking I bet a lot of people watching you do that would think, wow, I don't think I could do that. That would be their first thought. So absolutely. And again, and this is a habit.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  7. “What it is underneath the struggle, what's actually holding you back? When you unlock that, whatever's holding you back in triple step or in conductor and any other game is holding you back elsewhere in your life. So when you unlock it there, it kind of unlocks the other things, which is really nice, like a set of gears.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  8. “We have a whole series of games, and you could probably even invent other games, but some people will play triple step and will say, wow, that's so hard. And then they'll go and play conductor and think, wow, this is my game, this is so easy. But other people will play conductor and think it's impossible and then come play triple step and they'll be like, man, this is my jam. I can get this one very, very easy. So again, it's just a mirror of where you're at. And it's what's beautiful about this is you start playing around with these games. You're very, very quickly going to see, okay, this is my edge. Here's and where your edge is, as you were saying with your quote, is often where the gold lies. So that's when you, if you can spend some time there and learn.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  9. “Taking on this journey of speaking is so empowering because speaking is a high performance skill. So taking on a high performance skill and starting to tackle it and getting kind of good at it is very addictive. It feels really, really good. If you get good at tennis, if you get good at golf, if you get good at anything, you know, product management, it's addicting. It's exciting. And as soon as you get good, there's nuance to it and it's energizing in and of itself. And because we have such awesome hardware as humans, we've been speaking all of our life. A lot of us have a pretty decent level to start out with. So you really quickly, you're getting to like, oh, I'm getting some results here. This actually feels good. So there's something really energizing about jumping into it. It's the thinking about doing the exercise that's scary. But as soon as you're into in it, it's an”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  10. “The first one was the stock market, then a newspaper, which you brought in really, really well, then running a marathon, and then a toilet.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  11. “That's really good. Well, tell me what, because again, right, the games are meant to put you in a state of turbulence and find out what was easy, what was hard, what am I noticing? And now you know what you want to work on, right? If you did a rep and you got it, and it went perfectly, then you're learning nothing. A really good easy rep is not worth much. The only reps that are worth something are the ones where you feel an edge.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  12. “Here's what I noticed I noticed You were letting the word. The word was the beginning of a new thought. So you say another thing is beers. Another thing is, right? So you're kind of finishing your thought and then you're moving on to the next one. Try to hold on to one direction. The one direction is like. Approach your fears head on. And then so then, when you see a puzzle, it's like, look, this doesn't have to be a hard puzzle because now I know that I just, if it's scary, I do it. And it's like having kids, which I thought was so scary. I just jumped in and now I'm moving forward. And it could, and right? And so it's like I'm growing my beard without caring what other people think just because it might be scary. Or maybe I cut my beard because that would be something scary, right? So you're holding on to the line.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  13. “Okay, I realize this is your first time playing triple step. It's kind of meaningful. I have to go faster to give you six words. So I'm going to give you four words.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  14. “Now suddenly, hey, I can move around. I feel comfortable. Moving my arms and moving my legs and go into the right and the left and up and down. And just that act of making you feel more comfortable and more at ease is going to unlock your ability to communicate because you already know how to do a lot of this. So we're tapping into these different skill sets and we're doing both at the same time.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  15. “And also it's like learning how to dance, but you only learn choreography. Well, that's all you know how to do. So if I ask you to do, I say, okay, now just I'm going to put music on just dance, you're kind of stuck because you only know how to do the moves you were doing. So we're trying to get people outside of, I have to be in my mind or I have to do things that I've memorized how to do and come back to trusting your natural ability to communicate. So that's what we're doing here. You can feel like when you don't speak, when you struggle with speaking, you're stuck in this box and everything around you is tiny and you can feel the sides of the box. And we're expanding the range. We're playing around with all kinds of different things, different tools. And all of them have specific meaning. But even if they didn't that much, you still would be able to, oh, wow, you're pushing back the sides of the box.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  16. “You're already practicing, you're already leagues ahead of everyone because most people aren't practicing, they're trying, you know, you're trying to learn from a video or a YouTube short or an article. You can only go so far with that. But if you are practicing, there are kind of two suboptimal ways that might show up. One is what you're saying. You're doing talks and you're speaking up more, but you're not really practicing. It's kind of, as you're saying, it's broad strokes. The other one is you're in a choreography.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  17. “I would say this one. Can be used for two other things. Number one is resiliency. Because this one will make your brain go crazy. And if you can stay composed within it, with all of these things happen, it really builds this ability to say, well, man, if I can do triple step on hard mode, I can do anything. Like, why would anything else scary? Why would an interview question scare me when I can throw these kinds of things? I can always navigate my way through, right? We're trying to lower the likelihood of a mistake really hurting you. And then the other piece, this is a game, this one and a game called Rapid Fire Analogies are games that are really, really nice to use as a way to warm your brain up. So you could use it before a podcast. You could use it before a job interview, before a meeting. When you want to be on, do a few reps of this and your brain's just going to be completely lit up because it's pulling on so many different parts of your brain that are necessary for communication.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  18. “And so you might notice that Some of the words I'm integrating literally, and some I might integrate more metaphorically, like the internet of my mind. It's like I have access to the internet. So you can give yourself as much leeway as possible. The whole point here with triple step is you want to be that tree in the storm that is not so rigid that if the wind is too strong, it's going to break in half, but not so flexible that it's going to swing every which direction as soon as there's a gust. So you want that firm, solid grounding, which is in choosing a clear direction, that one thing off the bat, and then you want to make the words work for you. So stay focused on that one thing. And as the words come in, the more focused art you are on that groove you've created for yourself, the easier it will be to let the words work for you.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  19. “In theory, if I do a perfect job, if you're listening, you should struggle to pick out which words were actually the words that were popped up, the likelihood in one minute of me being able to do that is low, but let's see if you can do it. So if you're listening, you're not going to see the words. We'll tell you afterwards what they were. See if you can pick up on them. But otherwise, my goal is just to choose a strong direction and stay on that direction as naturally as I can. The title is How Would Your Friends Describe You? I've been described as a Labrador by my friends, and I think the reason people describe me as a Labrador is because I am so easy to excite. It's like if you give me a box of friends.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  20. “Next game is called Triple Step. And triple step is a game for people who tend to be to struggle to stay on a single thought. Or get very easily put off their game or distracted. If you're the type of person where you're speaking and suddenly somebody yawns and you just start freaking out thinking, I'm so boring and things are horrible. I must be terrible. They probably have a baby and they didn't sleep last night. Pen drops and you start losing your ability to stay on track. This is a game for you. Also a very fun one. The principle of the game is pretty simple. Similarly to conductor, we're going to start with a random speech title. So I have no idea what's going to show up. Then as I'm speaking, in this setting here, I'm going to speak for a minute. There will be six random words or series of words that are going to pop up as I'm going through my speech. And my goal is to integrate the words into the speech as seamlessly as I can, as if they were part of the speech the whole time.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  21. “I need to be willing to just be while everybody's looking at me and I'm using up their time. But I'm going to take up space and I'm going to take a moment to go inside and be introspective and really ask myself, okay, what do I want to say here? And so that's a reflection of, well, what does that mean if I struggle to do that? And that's why this is speaking such an interesting skill set.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  22. “Just telling you something. This is what we want, right? We want a mirror in front of us so I can know like, okay, what's happening here? I'm not very much a fan of actually watching yourself on camera, on video, because again, this is an inner game, not an outer game. So when I watch myself on video, I see the outside, which can be useful for certain things. But the fundamentals are inside. But so getting a mirror of, I play this game and I feel a certain way. Oh, interesting. It was easy to go up. So I can muster energy pretty quickly. And I'm willing to take risks of jumping into a different energy stage, which might mean changing the direction of where I'm going. But slowing down means I need to be willing to Take up space”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  23. “You'll notice it pretty quickly once you jump in, especially with a friend. It's cool because when you get to see, oh, I'm much more comfortable going up than I'm going down or vice versa, or I'm stuck in the middle and I'm only comfortable when I'm not in the extremes.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  24. “You very quickly feel the effect of, oh, I can see the potential of what it could be if I could just be like this anywhere. Maybe you taper out a little bit of the extremes. But this is, you can access this for free on ultra speaking, or you can just, the way we did this at first, you just go to Google and type in random series of nine numbers and then just have a friend say each number one after the next and you just match it. I used to just put my hand out and go up and down. In essence, it's very, very simple to apply it.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  25. “I can raise my energy or get into a state of conviction. And the words that are going to come out, the ideas, the stories, the anecdotes, the examples, everything is going to fit into that. If I feel frustrated, I can dive into that state and stay in that state. And naturally, the content is going to follow. It's a very, very powerful game. It's a very exciting game. And it's a game that... Especially when you're playing with low stakes, you can”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  26. “Your brain fills in the gap, and we're going to do a game on that in a second. But the conductor one is so beautiful because the way we describe it, so that folder one, when it came into my mind was my favorite ever. But the original one was You tap into a certain energy. That creates emotion. And if you tap into that emotion, the words come as a natural consequence. So it's energy leads, emotions follow, and words fill in the gap. When you experience this for yourself, if you go into conductor and you play, you realize okay, if I want more conviction.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  27. “Because I've spent seven years kind of getting rid of the bad habits, getting rid of the gunk, and trusting myself more, I allow myself to take many more risks. So I'm jumping into these games still with the same doubts in some sense, but they've just everything's tapered down way, way, way into the background. So I get to be much more present. And I talked about the summary prompts earlier in the podcast, saying the beginning of a sentence and trusting that your brain's going to fill in the gap is something that's initially hard to do. But when you've done it a thousand, two thousand, ten thousand times, you start believing, hey, maybe my brain will deliver every single time. So you can start saying the beginning of sentences that the direction you want to go into.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  28. “The common theme for me, the more, and I've been on this journey for seven years now. I still am blown away every week by the lessons I've learned over the course of the seven years, which all come down to your brain, your subconscious is so incredibly powerful. So your hardware is magical.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  29. “Then you're going to have confidence in any speaking scenario. And most of the scenarios you're going to be in are spontaneous, are ones you can't prepare for. So it's that much more important. So tell me what. Do you remember from going through conductor in the creator cohort, or specifically here? What was coming up and what were some of the things that pop into your mind?”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  30. “The ending strong is not just an automatic habit that I've built for myself. So, what we want with the turbulence is that it highlights areas that we want to work on. And you can go again and see immediately because you have that same pressure every time. There's no way you can prepare for conductor. You can do just a ton of reps and get to become the person who can just navigate the turbulence really, really gracefully, which reminds me of a Kevin Kelly quote that I love where he says, pros are just amateurs who've learned to recover gracefully from their mistakes. And this is what we're trying to do here. If you know that you can recover from any mistake gracefully,”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  31. “The point of all of these games is to create turbulence. This is going to be the theme of this podcast. I'm going to share only flight analogies. But if you think about a pilot, a flight simulator, you can think about these games as the flight simulator. You don't put a pilot in the flight simulator and waste those precious hours having them just cruise at 30,000 feet in clear skies. You're going to say, okay, you're going. And now, hey, you've lost your captain. you have to do something or hey your your motor just broke or you're going into crazy turbulence so the gain here is always every one of these games have in common that we're creating turbulence for you so it's on purpose that like oh that's interesting how i tend to want to leak to want to break character wow it's interesting how at the end”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  32. “So, switch your mindset from that back in conductor in the creator cohort, you didn't really care because if you failed, it didn't matter. So you just played the game. This is the same idea. Just don't try, just let yourself play the game. The game will. Do good, but that was actually really interesting. I feel kind of similar, which is cool, except I didn't know where it going, but that feeling of all of these puzzle pieces. And suddenly when I hit ultra speaking, it's like, oh, wow, every single, there's no more, there are no more gaps. That's really cool. You ready Integrating new cultures.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  33. “It's funny because What it looked like to me is that You just didn't let yourself play the game. You wanted to We were more focused on I want to make sure this works well, this looks good, or I don't make a fool of myself, then let me just play the game.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  34. “Funny at the end, you were like, you didn't even see there was a six that came up. And then you, when you looked up, it had already gone away That's a good warm up.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  35. “We saw what did we see? We saw like a six, it went up first six seven. And then it went back to a five. How about you give it a go? And then we chat.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  36. “When I grow up, I want to have taken on. All of my weaknesses or all of the emotional things that are holding me back because it's kind of annoying for me that I'm 40 years old and there's still things that are holding me back that man I've been I've had these when I was a kid. I was like this when I was 10 and it drives me crazy I supposed to be an adult? Aren't I supposed to be Mature and have my life together. I mean, I have two kids. This incredible responsibility, and I have to teach them, I have to show them the way. So I've decided I'm going to hire a coach. And I talked to him just a couple days ago. So, this is perfect timing because I want to unwrap, unravel, untwine every single one of these emotional blockers so that when I grow up, I'm completely free.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  37. “Calm my energy down and match the three and go all the way down to one. And then there might be a slide that says breathe, which is just an indication to pause. And when I see that slide, breathe if I just go silent, that's because I'm in front of the breathe slide and I'm not allowed to speak. And in that moment, my goal is just to relax myself and calm myself and then see what happens where I'm at when that slide moves on to the next one. And we're going to do this. This is going to be 70 seconds. So it's going to be super quick.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  38. “Okay, so I got conductor. The way this game works is that when I click start training, I'm going to have a random title that's going to appear. And for those of you who are just listening and not watching this, Lenny will say the title out loud so you can hear. And then what you won't see or what you'll see if you're watching is in front of me, all I'm going to see are a series of random numbers. It's going to start with five and five is just my natural rate of speaking like I'm speaking right now. But then I might see a number from 1 to 10. And each one of these numbers represents an intensity or a state that I have to tap into. So if I see a seven, I automatically have to raise my voice and get into that kind of an energy. And if I see a 10, you could only imagine what that is. But it's also true for the lower ones. If suddenly I see a 3, I have to find a way to...”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  39. “Short reps, immediate feedback, practice feedback, practice, feedback. And it's enjoyable. You get rewarded. You get to adjust as you go. And what's changing is your internal feeling as you're going. So you're learning lessons, but you're internalizing. All of the practice is happening through speaking.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  40. “Fun because you can go places. Cats are crazy because if they were bigger, they would eat you. And I just almost like word association. Let's get words out. Then we started developing different games for everything. Every root cause we were seeing, every symptom we were seeing, we'd figure out the root cause and we create some sort of a way to get the person into it as quickly as possible. And it's just one day, six months in, that we realized, hey, did we just create a game? Like this feels like a board game. And then we created, I have this, we created speak before you think, a game for people who think too much. And this is a bunch of cards with all of our games. And then COVID hit and we turned it into online games. The magic of games. Yeah. The magic of games is.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  41. “Was just him and me in my backyard with somebody in front of us testing things out. And we would say, we would give them a speech title just to get a baseline. Okay, what's the most incredible invention in the world? And we'd watch this person go into their mind and start like freaking out. Okay. And they'd think the iPhone and then like, I don't know, the iPhone, that's pretty recent. So maybe it's fire. Is it fire though? Was there a bigger maybe communication? I don't know. Wait, maybe we evolved for communication. And the longer they spent thinking, the worse their answer tended to be and the more their confidence tended to go down as they were speaking. So then we said, well, we got to get this person speaking right away. So we'd say, I'm going to ask you another question, but just start speaking. And so I'd ask them another question. And they couldn't start speaking right away. So we just tried to compress it more and more and more to turn it into something where then it was like, I'm just going to say a word and you have to say something about it. So horses, horseback riding.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  42. “About taking on speaking and making a difference here. And if you are, then you're going to have to do the thing. You have to practice speaking. But the good news is it's only the outside that's scary. As soon as you get started, you're going to get rewarded. And then the better you get at it, the more enjoyable it becomes. So why games then? Well, games. Number one, are fun to play. And as I was saying earlier, if your practice is not fun, you're going to stop. So you need intrinsic reward with what you're doing. But what all of the ultra-speaking games have in common is that it's short, deliberate practice, like short reps followed by feedback, followed by another rep. That was more important than the idea that it was a game at first. When we started coaching with Michael Genler, my co founder,”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  43. “Yeah. Well, the first piece of the puzzle is what you were saying at speaking without speaking. And it's intuitively you could think everybody knows that if you want to become a great cook, you can't just read 100 cookbooks. You actually have to spend most of your time in the kitchen refining your intuition, testing things, experimenting, learning new recipes and building your timing and everything that goes with it. In speaking, we tend to do the opposite, probably because it's a little bit scary and because there aren't that many options out there to practice the speaking itself. There aren't that many environments where you can do it right now. So we're kind of left with nothing. So, okay, I'll just go read an article or watch a YouTube short and hope that's going to make a difference. But maybe the bad news is you have to do it. You have to ask yourself, am I going to be serious?”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  44. “I was so into what you were saying. And I'll pull the audience. Is anyone surprised? And everybody every time is like, no, I thought that you were doing great. I was completely with you. So that's the case most of the time. But because we're convinced that people can tell we want to break that fourth wall or because something happened and we know people can tell, we want to acknowledge it. So it doesn't feel like I'm the only one in the room who can't tell that something went wrong here. But this habit of saying, no, I'm going to be confident. I'm leading. I'm going to keep us going in a certain direction is extremely powerful and very self-reinforcing.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  45. “They'll be in their own minds. So when you share this, you're popping their bubble. And so I see people speaking all the time where I'm super in tune with the feeling I'm getting when they're speaking. I'm just, I'm listening to the energy. I'm listening to everything that's happening so I can try to understand like what state are they in right now? So when I get woken up from that state of somebody saying, oh man, can I go again right now? That really sucked. It's even more visible for me. And I'll often have to say, hey, man.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  46. “I think that's exactly that. It's because you're convinced that everybody can tell. And so two things will happen. Either they could tell because it was a big thing and everybody could tell, but you shining light on it is literally that. It's like, hey, everybody, you're driving a train. Everybody's in the train. You're the driver as the speaker. Everybody's going with you. So if there's a crash on the side of the road, you can keep going and they'll not be looking at the crash a second later and they'll be looking at the next landscape or you can stop the train and tell everybody, hey, let's look at this crash here real quick. I'm so sorry about it. When you keep going, people will forget it in a second and they're not going to pay attention to you. And with the peakend rule, what we were saying, people remember the end of experiences more than they remember the beginning of experiences. So you're going to be left with that feeling at the end. The other piece is because most people won't notice it in the first place.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  47. “Most of the people I'm looking at are actually nervous right now. Going to look at them, and you're like, I can't tell. Most people speaking up in meetings are feeling a level of nervousness, but you can't tell unless it's. The roof.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  48. “The QIUs for myself is stay in it. And the worse it gets, the more I'll say just stay in it. And what happens is you stay in it. And you expect everybody at the end to say, oh my God, you looked so uncomfortable. What was happening? But people can't see that. You look confident. So they're just going to give you the reaction that a confident person would get. And you're going to notice, oh, wow, I am coming off as confident. And that's going to make you feel more confident. And so it's a very reinforcing cycle. If you start staying in character and ending strong, naturally you're going to be reinforced by this behavior and you're going to realize, oh, I didn't need to break character. I didn't need to hedge every time I spoke. And that's going to give you much more confidence. And you're going to start realizing people just look confident by default. This is a crazy thing. I want everybody to walk around the world and look at people and think.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  49. “Good news is the solution is very, very simple. The solution is debt is just don't share your insecurities. Put your best foot forward and stay in it the whole time. Stay in character from beginning all the way through past the ending. You go all the way through your speech. Then you got to end strong, which is a form of staying in character. And then let it be. And that's so important. Just let it be, and you're going to notice something incredible. If you're the type of person who would break character a lot, start staying in character.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source

  50. “And now the smallest noise, the tiny little bit of turbulence, a creak of right, you're going to start thinking, oh no, we're going to die every time. So you're going to make any little mistake, any little imperfection. You're going to turn that into something big. That's what happens when you speak. If you start leaking and letting the insecurities come out, people are going to start thinking, this person doesn't really know what they're talking about. It's like a leader who isn't clear in their direction. Suddenly, I'm thinking, wait, I think I have to second guess everything here because I'm not sure about this guy or this person.”

    2024-10-13 · Lenny's Podcast · Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source