YouSaid · the spoken record

Whitney Cummings

lines on the record: 266
first: 2015-06-27
most recent: 2015-06-27
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“So, the more you work it, the stronger it gets. And then you'll be like me and you'll be haunted by everything you look at. All you can think of is how to make it a joke. You know, it starts being more and more and then you're up at night and like you're having sex with someone and you're like, this would be a good joke. And you're like, oh my God, can I just get a second piece? Yeah. So it starts becoming like. Pretty relentless, but he had some muscle like any muscle. You know, the first couple weeks you go to the gym, you're going to be a little sore, it's going to be hard.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Friends, that's why I'm going to publicly humiliate him. No Brennan, co-creator of the Chappelle show with Dave Chappelle and has now started doing stand up and is super Incisive, funny commentary on race and gender that very few white people can get away with.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Oh, yeah, Sebastian Manuscal, if any comedy nerds want to know more underrated people, Sebastian Manascalco is great. Gerard Carmichael is great. I think he's probably, you're going to be hearing his name a lot more soon. Natasha Legero is very funny, Tick Nataro. I'm sure you guys all know her by now. Kristalia, I'm a fan. You probably already know him. Brian Callan is actually overrated, I would say. This is where you were.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“As long as you're pretending to be someone you're not, the audience knows. So stand up is the ultimate exercise in accepting exactly who you are, as ugly as it is, as long as you tell the truth, they're in because they can tell, most people can tell when you're, which is why equine therapy has actually been really helpful for me.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Maniscalco. He has some Italian blood, and he's almost like a Brian Regan or like a more flamboyant Jerry Seinfeld. He's completely clean. And this isn't, he's one of my favorite comedians, so I hope this doesn't come off pejorative, but he almost doesn't have jokes per se. Like if you were to transcribe his act, you wouldn't see jokes. It's so much in his performance and essentially his sort of thing is just disgust with humanity. And I'm not going to embarrass myself by doing his act, but he'll just say, so anybody have the Blu-ray? Like, and he'll just like say facts about the blue way, right? His point of view is so specific and authentic. And he's so genuinely angry that it's just hilarious. So it's like whatever you are, be that. If you're annoying, be that. If you're a Republican, it'd be that like whatever it is”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“A narcissist, he's not stuck in his own. I think one of the biggest dangers as a comedian, and I always worry about comedians who aren't friends with other comedians because we check each other and keep each other sort of sane is when comedians get too sequestered or any big personality or someone with opinions who ends up being surrounded by staff and, you know, the Jim Carrey's of the world who gets sequestered and all of a sudden they have no point of reference with reality and they kind of lose touch. So Bill is also great about he's in the trenches. He's the comedy star every night. He's talking to people. I mean, that's part of the reason I think his, you know, comedy's so incisive.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yeah, something like ridiculous where you're just like, oh, you're just bored at this point. So I'll see him. He'll throw something out where he'll be like, you know, maybe the Holocaust was good for us. And everyone's like, and he's like, well, and then he gets him back, you know? And it's like he'll throw something out that you think is like the point of no return. You think like his career is over. And then he gets him back, you know? So he's so cool, but he's not like, you know,”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Which is so cool because it's like, what do you do when you're that skilled is you have to keep so you don't plateau, you have to keep creating like.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Be like black people are different, and people go, and he'll go like, just let me so he'll throw out something so incendiary that he loses the crowd on purpose just so we can get him back.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Love when he does that because even it's such a, you know, maybe this will interest your fans that he is one of my favorite comedians to watch because he will Almost ordain a bombing so that he”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Is a monster, and he has this great ability to, I mean, he's, you know, on stage is somewhat obsessive and neurotic and, you know, he's got podcasts and he, you know, gets really obsessed with things, but he's able to move on real quickly and not make it about him. He's not myopic, you know?”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I feel like he's not, he doesn't penetrate. I mean, too much emotionally. Like, I feel like Dave's not super vulnerable, at least on stage, offstage he is. But I would say like this is a great, great, Bill Burr.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Totally. So it's like just sort of being able to have that kind of self awareness, which is, it's hard because it's like you want self-awareness, but you don't want self-absorption. You want to be able to self-reflect but not be a narcissist. You have to, you know, it's a delicate balance. I think I would also...”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You look like a really good job. You're just like an orb of light. But the same is with me. So I get really shiny. And then one time I was on stage and I was like, do I look really shiny? And everyone just burst out laughing because it was like the elephant in the living room. Like, why is she wet? Is she just coming from a storm? And I was like, oh my God, you guys, I'm not wearing any makeup. And I put like cream, like oil on before I came on stage. And I was like,”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yes. Yeah. It's so great because it takes the elephant, like you said, out of the living room. You know, another thing I did recently, and just when I kind of thought, okay, enough people know me, I don't have to, so I... Is such a weird thing to say. I put a lot of, I take good care of my skin. I try at least.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“This is low expectations, please. The four hour work week, the four minute sex life. Yeah, exactly. But you have to understand what their needs are and be able to and ascertain. Like I say so much of comedy is just listening. And it's a conversation. It seems like a monologue ostensibly, but it's actually a conversation. So you're constantly checking in with them. I always tell a lot of comedians who in the beginning aren't doing well and I'm like, well, are you making eye contact with the people in the crowd? And they're always like, no. I'm like, oh, it's so intimate. Like you have to, I mean, I literally look all of them in the eyes all the time. It's your constantly checking in, constantly checking in. The sound is one thing, but you also have to be checking in with them and knowing what they need from you, you know? And so for me, the first couple years, I had to address the last name comings in the beginning. Everyone was like, cool, we don't have to think about this anymore because other people are like, do they just say Cummings, the serverless name coming? And then they're distracted. So you just have to take it off the table. Can we move on here? Okay, my last name is Cummings. Now let's get to some other stuff.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Do that. Well, I think first you have to, I mean, it's, you know, a lot of people say stand up is like sex, but like you have to be in really malicious.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I think it's little people. So a friend of mine is a little person and he's a comedian and he goes on stage and he's just like, so I was with this girl. I was like, your first 10 minutes is talking about being a little person.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“What the proper term is little people. I think it's little, everyone's on the same page. Okay, I think midget's not the M word is the new N word.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Right. I would. I'm a very direct person. I remember seeing a, you know, there's a lot of, I don't know, what is the politically correct thing to say? Is it little people now? I don't know. It's not dwarfs.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, because Zoe Saldano's husband took her last name. I think I was like thinking about it, because I always say, like, people are like, do you want to get married? I'm like, I just want to change my last name. You don't have to marry me, but can I just get your last name? We don't have to sign anything. Can my last name be Ferris, please? But I am grateful to that last name because I think at a very young age, I had to learn to defend myself against ridicule. So I, you know, had to get quick-witted.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I need this skill. I realized right away that people thought my last name being Cummings was funny. And I never understood. So I get on stage and I start talking. And then I'd be like, oh, my last name is Cummings. Everyone started laughing. Like she just put the needle in the balloon. Now we can move on. You know”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Before they can shoot you. Yep. So I don't know who says this quote that comedians become comedians so they can control why people laugh at them So for me, I realized I wish”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Took me a long time to realize that as soon as you get on stage, you need to address what the audience is already thinking.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And she's like, Oh no, I mean, it just seems boring. I'm like, no one else has that. Like, I'll do it if you don't do it. I'm stealing it, you know? Like a lot of people, a lot of times people don't know what's interesting about them. So it takes a while because I think we all, you know, are so sick of ourselves in some ways or we inflate things and deflate other things and have denial about things. So tap into what's makes you and why what's interesting about you also help you figure out”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You know, so I would say just get on stage. I always say the first year and a half, two years of standup is just getting comfortable on stage. Your material doesn't matter. Like it's like boxing or whatever, you know. But I would just say get on stage as much as possible. And because your material in the first couple years is never going to, no one's ever going to see it. You know, it's just an excuse to get up there. I would also ascertain where they are. So I have this girlfriend. She's a comedian. And what was the thing? Oh, she goes on stage and she was talking about like smoking pot and hooking up with guys. And, you know, she's sort of a younger comedian. And it was just sort of everyone kind of does that. And then later I found out that she was a competitive diver in college. And I was like, why don't you talk about that?”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Eight weeks. Okay. And this entire every night for all of the eight weeks, whether they have material or not. Because, yeah, the material is like 10% of it being comfortable on stage is all of it.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It just hurt my feelings after a while. And Lisa Lampinelli and I were both like she had just lost all this weight and they used to make fun of how that she was overweight and she had lost weight and now they were making fun of skin. It was just like, oh, you can't win. It's whack-a-mole. You know, so. We were like, I think it's probably good to.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“We just cried after the roast. We were like, it was just too below the bell. It was like. You know, the go to for me. And again, I've been in the writer's room of the roast. I know the math of it. I know that it's like we're going to make fun of what you look like. I try to not make fun of things about people that they can't control as a general rule because it just feels a little too mean, with the exception of some jokes I wrote about Carrot Top, but come on. But I regret those and I feel bad about them. And that one was just a little below the belt. It was like people were calling me like I was in a relationship at the time. It was just like, what are you doing? Like, this is going to cause an argument. Like, it was just, it's so salacious and incendiary that I felt like I.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Then they think you suck. You're like, wait a minute. You thought I was great when you never heard of me. Now you've heard of me and now you want. You know, everyone wants to build you up so they can just tear you down. And then I felt like, okay, it's good to know when to go out. And I'm sure she'd be fine with me sharing this. But in the last Donald Trump roast, Lee Lampinelli and I.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Well, also, I see the roasts as more of a sport. Like it's like watching boxing or football or something where you're watching someone, you know, get schooled and someone comes back and fights them back. And, you know, it's, I think that activates that very primal part of your brain of kick his ass. You know, and I think I, you know, it's starting getting so nasty. And I think the roasts were better when you're the underdog. Know, and people like to see Rudy come out, you know. So in my first roast and it was like, who's this girl? And then I, you know, came out of the gate and like knew what I was doing. And then when I started to sort of, it was like I had an acumen for it and people started to expect all of a sudden when people expect you to be good. Nothing made Madame Meddedh”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's just like a part of your brain that's never activated, like things where you're like, I've never thought about that. But I mean, think about it. People like us and anyone who's listening to this is probably an overthinker, but we've thought of everything, you know, we've overthought everything 50 times. And so when someone puts something, a visual in your mind that you've literally never entertained, it's just so like, it's like being a kid again or something. That's why I feel watching Dimitri.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's very blue, but it's obviously a joke, you know, but it's just one of those just you hear it once and you can repeat it at parties forever, you know”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Dan Mintz, M-I-N-T-Z. He wrote for Louis CK's show on HBO. He's doing something now, but he has a great joke. He goes, it's a little bit, you know, blue, but he goes, you know, it'd be really confusing if someone was performing an abortion and someone ran in and yelled, abort, abort.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's very, and it's repeatable. There's something democratic about it because you can't say one of my bits to someone that's long and convoluted.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It's such a, you know, there's a lot of different kinds of comedy. I had a sort of argument about this with someone recently. It was like, I don't understand why comedy is so negative, you know, and it was like, there's lots of different kinds of comedies, just like there's lots of different kind of music and art and whatever. But, you know, Dimitri and Zach Alfanakis and Mitch Hebberg and Steven Wright are in this sort of echelon of this playful tickling sort of, I mean, like Dimitri, one of my favorite jokes of his, is he's like, you know, it's like people always want to show me photos of their kids. And then I show them photos of their kids and they think I'm weird. I mean, it's just little stuff like that that's sort of this fantastical surreal comedy.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“So funny. That sounds like Dimitri. Oh my god, Dimitri is hilarious. He was great. He has a lot of great photo jokes. He's like, I love camera phones because you can reminisce immediately. We were so young”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Because the third one is always their honest reanswork. The first two is just their adulation. So I always try to just get out after the second compliment.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Exactly, people up at you. And then to sort of compromise this level of privacy, it's It's usually okay for me, but I just don't have very thick skin. And I have this theory that the third thing someone says. Hey, such a big fan. Love your work. You're so much bigger in person.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“It is very interesting because I think. You know, when it's so rewarding to be able to share the intimate details of your life with people and help people laugh at it or in your case help them, you know, with their confidence or their business or their goals or whatever”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Yep, 100%. So I love that. That is sort of something I loved about the roast. Ultimately, I think that it's important to know when to stop doing something. You know, one of my favorite Steve Jobs. Is what I don't make is just as important as what I do make, right? Like what you say no to is just has just as big of an impact on your career. So I did three of them and it felt like. I was getting known as the Roast Girl, and I was getting known as this insult, mean insult comic. And I'm not like that at all. I'm like this super fragile. Sort of scared person, and I would have been in an airport and someone be like, hey, Kant, and I'd be like, whoa, it's two o'clock on a Tuesday.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Three extra words. It's not sharp. It's a dull life. Yes, I love the economy of words. You can take two words out. It's the difference between laughing and applause break. So that kind of stuff is.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Which is just a brilliant joke, but it's all math, you know, it's just set up, turn, you know, those were the kind of jokes that, you know, we do with the roasts where it's like if you did any other word combination would not be as funny. You know, you change one word. I remember some more. I wrote this joke that was, it's a horrible, really dark joke. But I said, it was a flavor-flavor roast. I was a writer on that. And it was the joke was flavor. You look like what Magic Johnson should look like right now. So I wrote that joke. And she delivered it in a way that it bombed.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“Adding and subtracting a word can completely change the response. They're basically tight cat skills jokes. For example, one of my favorite jokes, because I won't say my own jokes because that would be narcissistic and give me shame. So I'll say one of my favorite rose comedians, the late Greg Geraldo. He had a joke for iced tea once. He said, iced tea, you're so old. You used your first residual check to buy your freedom.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I always say in order for a roast joke to work, it has to be funnier than it is mean So, if it's not funnier than it is mean, it's always going to bomb. So it's like you're walking this tightrope of like, if you're gonna make an AIDS joke, that better be an A plus joke. If you make a C-AIDS joke, you get a boo. If you make an A plus, which is sort of what I like, excuse me, I'm getting attacked by bugs. Something that I loved about the roast is sort of the math of it. Because those jokes are all math jokes, you know, which I think about that.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“You don't have your stripes. Jeff Frost can call me a whore. You can't call me a whore. Like, all of a sudden, we have these boundaries. Well, that's.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I know. And he's like, are you guys fighting? I mean, it does look awful. And then I'm sort of treating Brendan the same way, and Brendan was like so insulted and upset. And I just, I was like, oh my God, sorry, it's a completely different language. So the roasts, again, initiated with comedians roasting comedians. And then when it got on comedy central, all of a sudden they start bringing in like Pamel Anderson and, you know, just these perfectly nice people with feelings who aren't numb to the core and who aren't sociopaths. And so when you start mixing that, that's when it started getting, you start seeing people getting their feelings hurt and, you know, and also, again, comedians actually are more sensitive than anyone. So when you start having people who aren't comedians making fun of us, it's like, oh, no, you haven't earned the right”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And I remember going on the podcast, and Callan and I, I was just, we were trashing each other. I mean, it was like bad. I mean, and then Brendan, who's not a comedian, and I'm trashing. He's just like,”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“I He just sort of creeps into your life in a very insidious way. Like mildew. Yeah, he's like mildew or like an STD. He shows up. You don't know why. And you just spend the rest of your life trying to get rid of him.”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT
“And, you know, and it's funny because actually you'll know this is that, you know Brian Callan, which is how I know you, which you met him on, what was it, Thruppel Tinder?”
2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT