YouSaid · the spoken record

Whitney Cummings

lines on the record
266
first
2015-06-27
most recent
2015-06-27
sittings or episodes
1
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podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

  1. “It just took me a long time to realize you can't talk to regular well adjusted people the same way you talk to comedians because we're like, hey, asshole, what's up? And we just make fun of each other and that sort of, it's not healthy, but that's sort of how we show love to each other is that we rip each other and make fun of each other.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  2. “Normal people. Their brain chemistry is different. Their amygdala is different. I mean, it's, I have this theory that comedians should not be let out in public. They're dangerous. They're like...”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  3. “For the tick to the nuts, totally. I've got to go to this weird angle. And, you know, Joan Rivers, everyone's going to go after the same thing. And David Hasselhoff was actually kind of tricky because he's just more of a general, he's just silly, you know? Like, you know, so the angle on him was tricky to get. But then there's a ton of other people on the Dais too. I did that early, so I was a writer on the roast before I was a performer on the roasts. And, you know, I think it's tricky because I guess I get defensive around that because maybe I have some shame because I do feel like they've gotten really mean. Yeah, in New York, and it was all comedians roasting other comedians. It wasn't comedians roasting. Not comedians are very different.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  4. “I went more for the Russian mail order bride wife. I have to go to like a totally different angle or, you know, you're straight.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  5. “Yes, too obvious. So, Donald Trump, everyone's going to do hair jokes. The first comic's going to do all the hair jokes. So by the time I go up six, I have to have some.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  6. “It's so interesting to me because it's like I do talk about, I don't talk about sex. I just talk about my personal experiences and my confusion because to me sex is about power dynamics and it's about masculinity and femininity And just so many primal things, and it fascinates me because I think we think we have so much more choice than we actually do in a lot of stuff. And it causes the most of us the most amount of pain of any other thing in our lives. I mean, you know, being cheated on or being in love and getting heartbroken, I mean, this is like, I mean, every movie plot, where all the money is spent on Valentine's is all about this. So to me, it's like How can anything be more relevant? So the fact that I talk about sex and someone calls it blue, I'm like, this is all anybody cares about. Why is this still taboo?”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  7. “George Carlin, but it's tricky because it's like, what is, again, what is the definition of love? What is the definition of dirty? So for me, it's like if you're talking about doing airplane jokes but using curse words, is that dirty or is talking about sex without curse words dirty kind of thing? You know what I mean? What's dirty to you? And in our sort of puritanical”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  8. “Just destroyed it. I mean, it costs like six grand or something. It was awful. And I got this gray joke out of it, though. I got like a seven minute bit. That probably paid for all the damage. So now I'm in this place where when something bad happens, I'm like, oh, good, I can use that material. Exactly. Organic is the upside of being a comedian.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  9. “And I was like, it's so great to be able to. You know, that is what is great about comedy is every time something bad happens, I'm now conditioned to go like, oh, this is going to be a great joke. So everything that Socks ends up being a gift somehow. Like when I first had money, like I grew up without any money and I got a car like seven years ago. Maybe it was. I got my first car that I paid for myself. It was Alexis Hybrid and the first day I got it, I filled it up with diesel fuel.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  10. “And if you love me, don't do these 10 things that I had been through. Like if I'm in the shower with you, don't pee. It was like stuff like that. Is that so much to ask? Like things like that. Like, and I just listed all of my grievances.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  11. “And then I sort of laid out what I think my definition of love is, and it should be very simple. I'm not going to like be hacky and do the bit, but it was like, I was like, my definition of love is being willing to die for someone that you yourself want to kill. That, in my experience, is kind of the deal”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  12. “And so love, I kept being in these difficult relationships where it was always like, but I love you, but I love you. And then it was like, it would just undermine all of the bad behavior. And I feel like I was, you know, the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. I was like, I keep. It kept justifying being in bad relationships because of this vague amorphous thing called love, which I was like, So, love means you hate. I love you, means I hate you basically. So I was like, we need to all agree on a universal definition. I think that was my sort of solution. I was like, we should, because I see so many people getting hurt and disappointed because their definitions are different.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  13. “That's true. That's true. They can't read your blog. Yeah, right. This wasn't as good as the last one. They're your biggest fan.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  14. “So it was basically like I was like the whole premise of that first five minutes was what does love mean? Because I feel like my whole life love has been a very, I think just in our culture in general, love is a very confusing, vague, manipulative word, right? And, you know, this is why I love working with animals so much is that you only communicate through behavior, not through words because words can be so confusing. Words mean something different to everybody, you know?”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  15. “And I was like, is this like, and I realized, oh my God, this is funny because it's happened to other people and people are relating and it's resonating. And when you tell the truth About your embarrassing moments and show your shadow. Catharsis happens, which is what laughter is, which is people go me too, you know.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  16. “I remember actually, and this might be cheating a little bit, or not cheating, but I actually remember sharing in an Alanon meeting something that was really hurt my feelings and I was like, and then he did this, and then he did this, and people started laughing.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  17. “That's a cool way to put it. Yeah, so I think maybe in a lot of professions being tough is what's valued in comedy being weak. It's like power through vulnerability.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  18. “But we're porcupines. Under there, it's all marshmallow. Just get to the marshmallow because that's where the gold is. I promise if you just tell the truth and get your heartbroken as a comedian, you will have a house.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  19. “Five minutes. And so you So I had all this rage after I got out of it, not rage, but just sort of like I was disrespected in a relationship and I just took like. The reason I think I'm proud of that first five minutes is because that was my sort of more, I think getting your heart broken is really important if you're an artist. I encourage you to get your heart broken, get hurt, fall on your face, make mistakes, follow the ice, break through the defenses, and get vulnerable. Because I think that there's a difference between getting your heart broken and getting your heart broken open. And when it gets broken open, you know, you can really, that's where the meat is. I like that. That's where you write great characters. That's how you. Get vulnerable and it's important because I think comedians, we pride ourselves on how tough we are.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  20. “So I was kind of in a relationship like that with someone that sort of recreated my childhood circumstances. So it just felt familiar and I, yeah, so that's the answer to that, but I can't remember.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  21. “It over me. I just made you a four course meal. It's like, I didn't ask you to do any of those things. Why are you, you know, and then you get mad when they don't appreciate it the way you want them to. So codependence breeds resentment. But it's a tricky thing to catch and recover from because, again, your story is I'm just being nice.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  22. “Which is it's pretty nefarious because you're masquerading as really kind and nice. So everyone, when I was in the height of my codependent glory days I was like the nice person who would help you move, and I'd pay for the bill. And I was like the nicest person, yet people pleasing as farm assholery. So then I was like annoyed at everybody for not taking better care of me and keeping score. You know, it's not a truly nice thing if you're expecting something in return. So it's just a way to victimize yourself. And a way to, like, I don't know if you've ever dated someone like this or had an employee like this or someone that does nice things for you and then gets mad at you for not receiving the gifts the way they wanted you to have them.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  23. “And I'm going to forego my doctor's appointment. Got it. Your comfort comes first, essentially. And it usually codependence breeds resentment. So I'm going to do this for you. And then two weeks later, you're five minutes late. And I'm like, well, I drove you to the airport. And you're like, well, I didn't want you to. You offered. You martyr yourself, essentially. Got it.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  24. “So, you know, I have a doctor's appointment, Tim asked me to drive him to the airport. I'm going to drive you to the airport.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  25. “That's actually a great question because most people use it wrong. Most people think codependence means spending a lot of time with people or I can't be alone or whatever, which could be an element of it. But codependence is essentially that you look to other people to decide how you're feeling. So I go up, Tim's in a bad mood. Okay, now I'm in a bad mood. It's like essentially you're a reactive person and you put other people's needs before your own.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  26. “Came from pain. It came. My stand up is always comes from sublimating or alchemizing really painful situations into figuring out how to make it funny. And so I was in a sort of really codependent, unhealthy relationship”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  27. “I would first tell you to put your kids away. I would point them to my last stand-up special, as you can see on my arm. It's called I Love You. Part of the advertising campaign, my white tattoo”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  28. “I don't know if this is the case for you. If I need somebody to be done, I can't stop thinking about it until it's been accomplished. So I just have to do it right away. I can't be like, oh, I'll eat a healthy dinner because then I'll just like Worry about”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  29. “Okay, that all done. I feel released of like, okay, I can kind of eat whatever I want all day and I've gotten everything I needed because I can be so...”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  30. “Avocado, olive oil, flax oil, some kind of green powder. And then we put all my sort of pills in there. Which is like adrenal support, cod liver oil.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  31. “And so she put this smoothie together for me that it's Kale, of course, that Shibal of the Hour, the Zeitgeist tea vegetable. I was in Savannah like two weeks ago and someone was like, are you eating kale? And I was like, Kale's officially made it. It's in Savannah. People know about kale. It's officially in the zeitgeist. It's kale, carrots, kiwi, raspberries.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  32. “Yes, okay. So I This woman, her name is Lori Cohen-Peters. She's pretty amazing, and she comes to your house and tells you everything in your house that's killing you. Basically, your cleaners, your food. I mean, I thought I was going to this super all-natural grocery store and she literally, I mean, I had almond milk and hummus and raw enemy. I mean, I think I'm nailing it, right? And literally, I'm like, this one's going to come over and I'm going to get a refund. She opens and she looks at me like horrified. And she was like, you're eating this? And I was like, what? Almond milk? She's like, it's full of leficin and blah, blah, blah. So because I was also having some trouble with at my energy level and my liver was a little inflamed and I wasn't converting folic acid properly. There was like a couple things that were up.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  33. “I guess I don't. Yeah, I'll do it in the morning. To me, that's always my, because I know how many interests we all have and how many priorities we have. So it's we want to know what the news is, we want to put nutrients in our body. We want to connect with our parents or loved ones or whatever it is. So I'll try to get that all done as early as possible so it's not looming over me all day. So it's like, if I've just checked all the news, okay, I know everything. Check.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  34. “So, what I usually try to do is break my day into two days, like two mini days, because I mean, I don't know how I think a lot of comedians sleep really late, but if I'm going to wake up at eight and then I have to perform at 10. By the time it's 10 o'clock, everyone else is winding down. And then all of a sudden I have to be like hilarious and charming. So I'll usually take a nap at like six to seven so that I wake up and like I'll have a little bit of coffee and then like go do stand up Yeah, game on.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  35. “I'll go back to bed at like noon or one. A lot of times I'll sleep for like two hours and then take another night from like seven to eight. Because then I'll go do stand up at night.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  36. “But yeah, it's great to wake up at 5 a.m. because you're not getting emails, you're not on the mass emails and whatever, you know. So I would do that and then go back to sleep. Which was super helpful because my circadian rhythms are”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  37. “Usually, about depending on how late I'm doing shows, right now I'm touring to get ready for my special. So on the weekends when I am on the road, I'll wake up more like 10 or 11. But when I'm writing, I try to wake up early. And when I was writing a script last year, I would wake up at like 5 a.m. and try to work from like 5 to 9 and go back to sleep. Because isn't that when our brain is the most kind of...”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  38. “That's right. That's right. And I try not to do too much coffee. And then I do a smoothie, which you've heard about, but it's kind of like everything I need for the day. So I'm not worrying later about what do I should eat for lunch.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  39. “I'm going to do. I did. I gotta get that one out of the park. I do with almond milk and this something like all natural sugar. I had this woman come in and take all the carcinogens out of my house. So I'm like making my own almond milk like an Amish slave these days. Those Amish slaves make amazing.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  40. “And I'll look at Twitter, you know, I sort of follow all the major news things on Twitter, but once I get into that, it activates a part of my brain that's a little too self-conscious. And what's everybody else doing? Right. So I try to not do that because I do know that all of this is an addiction and I have to sort of keep it under control. Yeah. I do coffee, I do vitamins, hungry.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  41. “The Frisky is like a. Like a website for girls that's got a lot of studies and this many women admit to having orgasms and masturbation is good for your health, sort of like edgy.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  42. “Ashley Madison.com. Laura Ashley. AshleyMadison. And then one Kings Lane, which is like my sort of, you know, thing, and Dig sometimes. And it kind of depends what I'm working on because it's also if I'm writing right now I'm writing a pilot for HBO that's sort of about gender and it's got a lot of science in it, so I'll go to psychology today. Jezebel, the Frisky, which are kind of”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  43. “So I'm just like honoring the fact that okay, I just can't be as productive and prolific when I drink. So, I don't drink when I'm writing. I wake up. I have like 30 minutes online, you know? I really try to keep it to like four basic sites.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  44. “I bet you can't take these two roofies faster than people. I just was like, and I was like on an empty stomach, and literally I woke up in my bed the next morning and I had like 30 missed calls and texts and people were like, did you go home with John Mayer? And I was like, oh my god.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  45. “Whole thing. I do not drink pretty much. When I'm writing, I try not to drink at all because I think since I've started eating so healthy, my body just metabolizes. I mean, I used to, I'm 32 now. Something happened to me when I turned 30 where I just could not drink. The way I used to, I on my 30th birthday, someone sent me two shots at tequila and I'm pretty competitive. So he's like, I bet you can't drink those faster than me. And I was like, boom. It's like the oldest.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  46. “Exactly. When I see the form of final draft, it's like, oh my God, I suck. What am I doing in here? So I've learned how to sort of like quell my own fears and anxieties”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  47. “I like it to suck in word. So the aesthetic of it is, oh, this is just a rough thing. It doesn't have to be good yet. Right, right, right. When it's in final draft, I'm like.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  48. “Because writing and editing are two separate parts of the brain going back and forth is just kind of paralyzes me. Sure. I'm very easy to, it's very easy for me to collapse. So I really, I just, I think the most important thing is just knowing your strengths and weaknesses. So I know that it's hard for me to stay focused if I'm looking at a final draft document and seeing the names of the characters. I feel like, oh my God, I'm screwing this up. This sucks.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  49. “I don't wing it. I write things out. I'm very dorky. It's note cards. You know, 30 pages of a Word document of just all my thoughts. And then I put my dialogue into, the entire script goes into a Word document before I even open final draft. So I'm pretty much done with it in a Word document with the dialogue because I don't like to write in final draft because it's just harder to go back and edit.”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT

  50. “You do on a really meticulous, which I think a lot of people have shame about. A lot of people want to be like, no, I just, I don't. I'm not like”

    2015-06-27 · The Tim Ferriss Show · #84: How to Turn Pain Into Creativity (Whitney Cummings) · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT