YouSaid · the spoken record

Bert Kreischer

lines on the record: 179
first: 2023-06-05
most recent: 2023-06-05
sittings or episodes: 1
sources: podcast

Every line below is reproduced as it was said and linked to the record it came from. Nothing here is summarised or generated. Directory · Search · Corrections

“Thank you, man. I am a huge fan of yours. You keep doing you. I'll keep doing me. And then let's see if we can meet in the middle sometime, having cold beer in the afternoon.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“My life has lived perfectly If I'm 95 years old and all my friends are dead. They're like, can you believe that wolf got Rogan? Can you believe Sagura? 600 pounds and they had to carry him out in a crane out of that house. Can you believe that it's just Burt Kreisher and Joey Diaz left?”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I love those guys that can really live that life that are like, yeah, man, I'm breaking it. I'm breaking it down like a guy like Tony Hawk or Matt Hoffman who like, yeah, if I don't fucking break the fuck out of this thing before I, then I'm not doing it right.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Then that's the fucking thing because that's what I'm doing. I'm letting it fucking take, I'm fucking, I'm on that fucking bullet train to fucking nowhere on this fucking comedy journey. I love it. I love it.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Don't worry too much about what you do when you get older. But when you do start worrying, find the thing you love, and it'll never feel like work. To fucking, I can't imagine what it must feel like to be a lawyer and have to read papers or whatever they do all day and know that that's my day. It must feel like what school felt like for me. If you find that thing you love to do You will work endlessly, effortlessly, and hard as fucking shit every day, and you'll love every day of your life.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“The coolest thing when I first started to watch someone like Attell was really brilliant at it because you'd watch him tinker with a set. He'd have an idea like hitting someone over the head with a hammer from behind. And then he'd work it nine different ways. You know, and you'd be like, whoa, so the heading hammer in the head is the thing that he's working on.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, yeah. Sir Silverman fucking. I love Janine. I'm a fucking big Janine fan. I love her brain. Maron's fucking hilarious You know, patent's brilliant. David Cross. I mean, there's like, it's really to ignore those guys and those guys were like the whole forefront of the alternative comedy front. They're fucking amazing”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“He's a brilliant comic. He's just a brilliant fucking mind. Norm McDonald's a fucking genius, an absolute genius. I mean, look, you know, Chappelle and Bill Burr are the two best in our generation, in my opinion. And that's understanding that I'm still friends with some of the best in our generation. But just the way their brains work is really on a next level. Like, you know, those are guys. Stan Hope is the same way, just fucking genius. You know, Rogan, Sugura, those are my friend group. That's my really close friend group. But like those other guys I'm friends with, but they're not like, that's like. No, Louis CK, fuck. He's amazing. It's hard to do because you start forgetting the people and then it's almost like people go, oh, so you didn't like that person? You're like, no, I fucking love that person.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Fucking ego's the death of comedy. Like when you really give a f- like. It's hard to be the coolest guy in the room and still want to be a comedian. Just let yourself be whoever you are. And you'll see the great ones. They're like that. They're just regular fucking dudes. And you get some real slick ones. Like Dave's probably might be the coolest guy in the fucking room. He really might be. But I think that's just who the fuck he is”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And then that did really well. And so, like, the whole thing is just turn the camera on. You never know it's going to fucking happen.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And we did a promo, and I thought I could slide out of my car like Tom Cruise did in a helicopter. And with roller skates and get behind the car and then skate behind the car. And we just ran over my foot. And it was real and it was scary, but we just caught it all. And in doing it, my cousin's like, give me the read. And I'm like, my movie comes out Memorial Day weekend. I think we have to go to the hospital. And then we went to the hospital, and I'm in the Speedo with a helmet on, one broken roller skate.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Go all out. There's something really authentically fun about just coming up with a really stupid idea. Just going, let's see what happens. Who gives a fuck? We've had those like, I thought I could catch an arrow one time. And And my wife's like, absolutely fucking not. And I go, I really think I can. I go, let's just get really close, shoot it, and then I'll see if I can catch it. And she's like, no, that's not what you're doing. And then my cousin's like, hey, we could cheat it to make you look like you caught an arrow. And I went, what? He was, okay, let's do it like this. And so we did it and it got sold a ton of tickets. It looked like I really caught it. Everyone knows I didn't catch an arrow. I mean, for the movie, we did a promo legendary. It was like, you do all the promos.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Woke up out of surgery, and the first thing I said is, Where's my phone? And he goes, You got it. And Leanne's like, I've already watched it. It's good. And I went, for real. And so, like, that was a big one. That was a big one too.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And my phone's going to fall on the ground. All I need you to do is hit. Stop rec And so they rolled me into surgery. I had Red Rocks. I had only sold like 75% of Red Rocks, which is the biggest 10,000. It's the biggest venue I'd ever played in. And I rolled in with my thing with CCR playing in the background. And I just was like, I lay here on this mat or on this steel. I was terrified as I go into surgery. I want you to know one thing. I'm playing Red Rock September 10th. And I started doing my promo read. And he was like, yeah, I go, Jimmy Buffett's there the night before and the night after. He's like, for real? I go, yeah, you want to come? He's like, hell yeah. He's like, all right. He's like, you're going under. And he hits it. I go, sir. And I dropped the phone.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And then you come out with the and then we see we got like two videos out of that and that sold out dates and then I was like fuck And then the real baller one, the fucking real one, the real one I tour all the muscles in my arm going and shooting the movie and I ripped all the tricep muscles off and they were retracted. So I had to go in for surgery. And the anesthesiologist said to me, The night before he's like, What music do you want going in going under? And I was like, What? And he goes, You can pick your music going under. I said, wait, hold on. Is it like, I go, is it like casual? And he was like, yeah. I said, I'm doing a promo read going under. He goes, what do you mean? I said, I'll explain it to you tomorrow, but I'm not going to count backwards. I'm just going to do a promo read until I pass out.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“He sold out his tours, and he was like, whoa. He's like, dude, I sold out every fucking show. We've added shows. I'm doing like an arena here. And this is before we were doing arenas. I was like, shut the fuck up. And that changed my game where I was like, all right, so everything's got to be. And then I was like, I don't mind spending a little money. And then the next one I did was the marching band. And I was just like, but it was, you know, it was real crazy. I just said, can you guys get me a marching band? And they were like, yeah, it's like, it's like $2,400. I go, cool. And they're like, what do you want them to do? And I go, I don't know, we'll figure it out. And they came over and they had outfits. And they were like, so what do you want us to play? I go, what song do you guys know? And then they didn't even know each other. They were all hired people. And they were like, rubber bandman. And I was like, oh, sure. Yeah. And then we just scripted it out. I was like, all right, I'll pretend it's a regular thing lifting weights. I'll walk out and then I'll blow a whistle.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And they show it to them and let them rate me. And then we did it. And it was $1,200. And for hip-hop dance lessons for like a month or whatever for like a couple weeks. And then when we did it, I thought, you know what? I bet we could put tour dates next to this because it turned out being like kind of good, but kind of funny. I bet we could put Tordates next to this. And it was the beginning of me figuring out the whole like my promos were short and quick. And there were always something silly. What's up, guys? It's your boy Burt Krysher. And then that one blew up and immediately, I was announcing the tour. And immediately every tortoise sold out. And then every, we added shows that day we added shows and every one of those sold out. And I was like, whoa. And then Tom was like, the fuck was that? And I was like,”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, and I said, we all take hip hop dance lessons. Your cardio's through the roof. Doing an hour dance lesson, and then we all do a hip hop dance, and then we all put our hip hop dances against each other, and we see who has the best hip hop dance. It's different than the typical stuff we do. It's fun. And we can also work out, we can do everything, but let's do hip hop dance. And Joe Adam Lee was like, it's a horrible idea. I will not do that. And then Tom and Ari just, you know, just whatever. They were like, yeah, I side with Joe. We'll do something else. And then I was like, but I knew I liked hip-hop dance. And so I was like, I'm going to take hip-hop dance lessons anyway. I'm going to just do it over Sober October. And I'm just going to fucking do it. And then maybe I'll do a hip-hop dance video”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“A legit answer, like, he can legit dance. He took like dance lessons for a movie and is apparently an amazing dancer. And so”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I told her she should have that robot to porn. Someone fuck that robot. And she had deep fake the face if she wants, but I go promote it, promote a special that way.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So interesting. She has the most nurturing sensibility. She sends my daughter's gifts out of nowhere, just out of nowhere, just send Georgia gifts up at college. Just a gift box, like she is just she takes care of people”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And I knew I was hungover. I said, how bad was I last night? She goes, You were fucking fantastic. And just didn't let me sit with it. And then I watched the video and I was like, oh, I was fucking out of control. I was way out of control. Thank you for lying to me.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“It was funny. I got blackout drunk at Whitney's roast of me, like blackout drunk. Don't remember any of it. And don't remember any of it. Don't remember speaking on the microphone. I don't remember talking in the microphone. And I did the set apparently. And I said to Whitney, like in a real moment of vulnerability, Whitney's like a sister to me, like a legit sister. My daughters call her Aunt Whitney. Leance like a sister Leanne. If she comes over to do a podcast, Whitney will show up an hour early and sit with Leanne out in Leanne's rose garden and just talk. Whitney Said the next day I called Whitney and I was getting on a plane.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And then they made you gaslight you into thinking you were the only one that was fucked up. And you're like, okay, I guess I know who you are now. And I was like, didn't you get fucked up a little bit too? I know we smoked weed, and I thought we ate Xanax, but like, what about the, I know I had a couple beers, but I wasn't that fucked up.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, yeah, it's cool when people let you see that in them because some people are really measured. Like, no one drink, and then I'm done. I don't want it. No, no, no, no. And you're like, show me a little more. And then like, it's cool. And I never, like, I love my favorite moments in the next morning when they're like, did I make an ass out of myself? And you get to say, not at all. Not at all. That's the coolest thing because some people, bad people will leverage that over you. You can see it's a bully tactic. They'll leverage that. The bad interactions I've had. In this business that we were talking about earlier, they were people that when you got fucked up, they used it against you. They held it over your head and they said, listen, man, I don't know what the fuck, but if you want, and you're like, hold on”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“They're giving you a gift, they're saying, yo, I did this on accident, but I trust you enough to let you know that this is who I am and this is what you're getting. I love it. I love it, especially when it comes to someone you don't. Shut the fuck up. David Gawkins should have hugged you and said, thanks for showing me this.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“There's a gift someone gives you when they get drunk and they get drunk and they lower their guard and they allow you to see them that way. It's a gift. It's a real gift. It's just as cool as pulling someone aside and going, yo, I'm into anime. Are you cool with that? And then they're going, Yeah, can I show you some cool anime? And then you're like, that's not my thing. But it's like cool thing. It's like sharing cool music with someone or like telling them something about your childhood when you get drunk like real drunk around someone. You're giving them a gift. And that gift is I want you to see me for everything I am. You're not going to get any lies. You're not going to get any bullshit. This is me at my absolute worst. I have a rule. I will never, never, get mad at someone for getting too fucked up.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“All the good times Him in up so hard And then we stop at the light, and all of us are looking, and it's pouring rain. It is, I mean, I remember. Soving crying. Sobbing crying, sobbing, crying. And then I was like, let's get these fucking vespas up and get to a vineyard. And then we went to a vineyard. And all the girls tried a little wine. No one got buzzed or anything, but you're just sitting there with your family going like, fuck, dude. And I'm not certain you get that without a little bit of...”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Not even drunk, but just lightly. Lightly feathered Where and it's beautiful, my wife hasn't been drinking. Georgia has, Georgia's too young, Isla is too young. But I had dinner we had a couple and we're going through these hills and it starts raining and it starts raining. And I go Isla, what are we missing? And she goes, music, big boy. And I go, what do you want to hear? And then she just starts going, Uka Shaka, Uka, Uka, Uka Shaka, Uka Uka. I can't stop this feeling. She's screaming behind. And then I hear Georgia screaming it. And then Leanne singing it. And then Sandy and her two daughters are singing it. We're on these Vespas, and we're all singing it. And I swear to God, if I hadn't been lightly feathered, I don't know if I would have been like, Isla, what are we missing? Because, you know, alcohol will give you that thing. Like, what's next? What's bigger? How do we take this to the next level? And then I got this little girl who's still my.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“There's like a glass of wine in Italy and like just out we went the most beautiful fucking day of my life Just outside Florence, they have all the vineyards and stuff, and we took a Vespatour. And it was fucking, and I was too young to ride, so she's on the back. And now everyone can drink there, you know? You're not supposed to drink and drive Vespas, but a glass of wine is nothing. You're like, okay. I guess I'll have a couple then. If you think one's nothing, then I think two's nothing also.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Sitting in the Adirondacks on the front porch letting the dogs play, letting the dogs rest in the front yard, maybe Gover pick some cherries, look at the fucking trees, hear the wind going through the front yard, and then you go to the backyard, that's where the cigar comes out a little more privacy. But you have...”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“That's the funnest Especially when you have a big group. And there's like a big group Like we were at the premiere the other night, and I was working, I was legit working, I'm trying to sell the movie outlets, media outlets, and bus them with the boys with the boys. My wife flew them in to surprise me. And they're over on the red carpet. And they're like, yo, let's skull a beer. Let's kill a beer. And I was like, oh, and then I'm like, oh, fuck it. I don't give a fuck. This is what life's about. And that moment where they're like, yeah, that's the funnest fucking, especially when I can get Leand to do it. When I get Leanne to get a drink and she's like, like I wasn't supposed to drink last night. And she was like, you want to just, we still have a glass of wine in the front yard. And you're like, oh, my heart skips a beat. I go, glass wine in the front yard. Are we going to talk wild? Are we going to stay crazy to each other? Like, fuck yeah.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Fucking tell the machine story, tell a story about your stupid kids, like just you don't need to be the edgiest dude in the room. Leave that to the good ones. Let Bill and fucking Joe and Tom, those are the legit fucking gangster comics. I mean, those are the fucking... You're never going to out fucking Chappell. Those guys are fucking gangsters. Do what you do. Have fun. Make life fun and seize the day and fucking try to bring a spark to people and let them forget about their fucking day.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So I think in watching this serious bird get chipped away at until my like six and a half year of college. And then Rolling Stones written about me, and I'm like, and then I'm like, and I remember a couple serious dads going, yo, you got a chance to turn this into something. You need to go, you need to follow your dream. And I tried to stand up the first night, and I was like, maybe not wasn't the funniest guy, but man, they laughed and we had a good time for 30 minutes and it worked and it was stream of consciousness. And I was like, yeah. And then of course, you know, that same little path you take gets convoluted in New York because you want to be a serious comic and you want to be taken seriously and you want to be edgy and you want to say the and then slowly but surely that the real bert chips away at it and he's like yo man just fucking take your shirt off kill a beer”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Without humility, I didn't mind looking like a fool and like doing, and there were really stupid jokes at the time, just very base American frat boy jokes. But I had a spark and when I came back, I feel like I learned how to do that and do funny things that were like fun. Like I would, we go to a football game and I brought a camera around with me a lot. I like to take pictures. And I remember one of the jokes I'd go is like, hey, everybody, I told my parents I have a lot of friends. Can you guys gather around and we'll take a picture? And so you know like 50 people would lean around like hey And, like, just the dumbest, silliest things. And I wasn't a big self promoter. So these would happen. And I would just, I was just doing them for me and my friends. I bring a guitar out and I just make up songs.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I said, don't close the bar. I'll stand on the bar and I'll entertain everyone in this room. I'll dance. I'll do whatever if you just keep the bar open. And the guy goes, if you can keep me laughing, I'll keep the bar open. And I danced and made this guy laugh on a bar for legit. Not even like legit 30 minutes until my friends walked in and they're like, What the fuck's going on? I had this ability to.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And then I remember backpacking through Europe after that and realizing I could bring a spark of fun to like a campfire and I had little tricks. Like I learned all the currencies around the world. And so I challenged people to a currency game. I go, let's go head to head. You say you name a country in the currency and I'll name a country in the currency. And I would slow roll them. I'd just do all the dollars, right? The Chinese dollar, the American dollar, the Australian dollar. I'd run through all the dollars and they'd be like, you only know the dollars. And then I'd start getting really deep. I could make an event out of a night. In Europe, I could make an event. I remember we were in Strasbourg and the bar was supposed to close, but I had friends coming to the bar. The train hadn't gotten in yet. And I said.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Trying to say, I'm And I said, I'm a car And they just were like, huh? And so I came into the room one night with a top pocket full of tampons And they were like, what are those for? I said, girls, this is how we're going to pick up girls. And the look on their face was so, it was so pure joy. I remember the first night I pulled out lemons. And it sounds make-believe now to say it because it's been in the movie. And I brought out lemons. We were in lemon drops, vodka and lemons and sugar and a pocket knife and a fanny pack. And I put out lemons. And this guy Igor goes, oh, the machine runs on lemons? Like it was just so foreign that you would need lemon for them. And so I think, and I made friends with those guys, like friends, whatever you can, but definitely me and that guy, Igor legit friends, legit friends.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Was a club called Cafe Europa or maybe Cafe Americana. Those were everyone really hung out, like all the real dudes, the real dudes. St. Petersburg, and they had told us that our class that Russian women didn't have tampons. So they were like, bring tampons to give to the babushka, the Dabucha that ran the floor.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I would lean towards that. We would go on a bus trip to Clemson, and I would get on the walkie-talkie on the bus, and I would do stand up for like an hour. I'd just make jokes for an hour. And I loved. The impulse of like, you know, you get on the bus, and everyone's like, We're gonna drink, and you get that one group of girls that wasn't gonna drink, and then to break them. And they're like, oh, fuck it, fine, let's drink. And then to watch that happen. And I think Russia, this is so cliche for me to say, but interacting with those young Banditi. They were pretty serious dudes. They didn't have like, they were pretty stoic dudes. And when you could make them laugh, it was like a real joy, the silliest things. I remember, you know, we were told.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah, I wanted to be like, I wanted to be like Eddie Vetter. I wanted to be like a poet and a fucking lead singer. And I wanted to be taken seriously and I wanted to be attractive and I wanted to be, you know, like. Wanted to be wanted by chicks and respected by dudes. And, you know, and slowly but surely, I think the bird I really am chipped away at that and was like, hey man, like I would say funny, I would say funny things that would surprise me. They were so funny, meaning like in my fraternity, I'd say things that were the funniest thing that I go, how did I think of that? And then slowly, I was like And I remember as I chipped away at that and as I got older. I would”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Yeah I think I arrived at it in college. I wasn't always the guy I am. I was really pretty serious dude when I got to college.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“I was like, people fucked here last night But yeah, that was one of the best jobs I've ever had. I could do that. I could run that park every single day.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Definitely real. And then the next day, and so I go, I'm on the right path. I'm on the right path. The next day I go for a jog, six in the morning, and it rained. And as I'm doing the steep uphill incline, a tree collapsed in front of me. Just went. And I went whoa, a tree fell in the woods, and I was here to see it Shut the fuck up. I was like, that's crazy. And it didn't hit me. I go, I'm on the right path And then I started getting overthinking it like the next day. I saw condom, and I was like, This is a good place to do it.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“So this jog, you started the park and it was like, and I'll do it like this for you, you went like downhill like this, downhill like this, downhill like this, and then it was like a little steep incline to get to the beginning of it. So it was like a little nice lower back pane and you're like, okay, okay. And then the jog was perfect. And you did it four times it was four miles. I loved it. My very first day I did it, a butterfly got in front of me. It's like six in the morning, six in the morning. A butterfly got in front of me and it ran the whole first mile in front of me. And I just, it was like so surreal. It would disappear and then it would show back up in front of me.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And they wonder how long that is. And they go, don't think about it. Just know that that's your thing. Just know that that's your thing. And then all of a sudden you're like, shit, that was eight miles. You're like, that's a fucking beast. The hike doesn't even feel like anything. The hike, once you do the jogs, the hard part there. The jog home is a fucking kegwalk. I had the best jog when I was in Serbia. I had the best jog. I think it was in Hyde Park. I think the name of the park's Hyde Park. It was, get this. It was eighty percent downhill.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“Oh, I can't think. I don't mind hiking. And I like, you know what my fun thing, the fun thing I would do in this is ripped off totally from campaigns, is I like to go, there's a great hike called Fryman Canyon, out in the valley where I live. And I'd be like, all right, I'm going to run to Fryman Canyon. I'm going to jog to Fryman Canyon. I'm going to hike Fryman Canyon, and then I'm going to jog back.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“South America, Asia, they do one on pizzas. I've watched this one on pizzas. I've watched it. There's like four episodes. I've watched every episode so many times that my trainer goes, God, that's that fucking, I could watch that again. I love watching foreign language cooking shows on mute when I work out.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“They just put it on mute. You don't need to hear it. For some reason, they're sexier the way they're shot, they're sexier. It's like street food Asia, and they're just watching them make street food in Asia. There's one called broth. It's called broth, the nation of broth. And they're just making broths. And you're like, fuck, I want some broth.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source
“And then I get my jog up to like a five, and then I'm like 5.5, then I go six, and then I go, and once I'm at a six, my body's really loose. And so then I'll go, all right, bring it down to a 3.5. And then I go punch it to a 7.5 for a quarter of a mile. And then let's walk at a 4, let's jog at a 5. I can do that. I love they're called Fartlets, I think. And I love those, like where it's like regimented running and sprinting at certain levels. I love that. And I love also when I work out to listen to music, but put on foreign language cooking shows on Netflix.”
2023-06-05 · Lex Fridman Podcast · #382 – Bert Kreischer: Comedy, Drinking, Rogan, Segura, Churchill & Kim Jong Un · IDENTIFIED FROM THE TRANSCRIPT · source